Page 12
Chapter Twelve
Heath
S he remains close. I don’t smell fear, only curiosity and shock. Her fingers curl around my forearm, and I look down in confusion. How can she be so fucking calm? Acid is churning in my stomach from admitting my secret shame.
“Tell me why,” she urges, and I lift my head.
“My dad was born a snake shifter. My mom was not. She was his fated mate, and she got caught up in its magic. The bond was pushing her to accept him. He showed her his snake, and she was amazed by it. She accepted his claim, and he turned her. Everything was perfect in their world. My dad would tell me about their love story all the time, and she would smile softly. When she looked at him, it was special. I felt the love and devotion. Our life was simple, yet filled with fun and love. I had two younger brothers who adored her, as did I. She would sing as she made food. We loved to watch and listen to her sweet voice. She was beautiful.” I close my eyes, tipping my head back. “Dad would come home, and they would dance in front of the stove. Mom taught me how to dance. I stepped on her feet, but she would laugh. Her dress would sway softly over my bare feet. I had the perfect family. We hid what we were and shifted in the house. My brothers loved to slither through the rooms and chase each other. They looked up to me, and I tried to set an example.
“Some shifters, after hundreds of years, forget their life. I remember every minute, every second of our time together. Dad taught me how to use my snake's abilities. Of course, I wasn’t as strong as he was, but he explained the powers that would come as I age. He didn’t have tattoos, which confuses me now. The only way I can explain it is that he didn't use his gifts much. He had black hair and blue eyes. My mom had brown hair; my brothers took after her. Harry and Hanson,” I whisper, opening my eyes. “Those were their names. Harry was three years younger, and Hanson was five years younger than me. I felt responsible for them. Harry was serious and watched everything. Hanson was gentle. He needed physical touch and reassurance.
“When I turned thirteen, Mom started to change. It was little things. She didn’t sing anymore and refused to dance. She drew away from all of us. Dad was confused and worried, which he tried to hide. When he left for work, he took me aside and asked me to watch out for my brothers, pointedly looking at Mom. I knew in my gut that her behavior wasn’t just a mood. She didn’t want to cook anymore, something she enjoyed. Over the course of a year, she became increasingly angry, snapping at us. There were no more bedtime stories, soft touches, or hot meals.
“I would hear them fighting when they thought we were asleep. She was our mom, yet not. Her eyes grew hateful when she looked at us. I found her sitting in her room, staring at the wall and whispering to herself. It scared my brothers.”
“It scared you, too,” she says quietly, squeezing her hand.
“It did,” I rasp, unable to hide the pain. “I didn’t recognize her anymore. She snapped at us all day, and I hid it from my dad. He would ask if it was worse, and I lied. I should have told him, and maybe it could have been different.” I unfold my arms and cup her hand between mine. “Dad was home. My brothers were playing at the table. I had to get out of the house. Mom was yelling again about something, and everyone was trying to ignore it. I walked out the back door and went to the woods behind our house. The silence calmed me, and I sat beneath a tree. I fell asleep and woke up when it was dark. My heart began to pound, and I knew something was wrong. I ran home and saw blood on the door.
“I smelled death, but I didn’t want to go in. Maybe if I didn’t, it wouldn’t be true. There was so much blood.” I stare at our hands. “I found my brothers on the floor by the table, next to my dad. There were broken pieces of chairs scattered. A knife was clutched in my dad’s hand. I knelt next to Harry and Hanson. It didn’t seem like they had the opportunity to fight, the shock still etched on their faces.”
“No,” she cries, scooting closer.
“I was crying when she walked back into the house. She left to find me and realized I had come back home. She had blood soaked into her pretty dress. Her eyes were wide and haunted. She told me she had to set us free. We were cursed with our snakes, and she had to protect us. Her speech is a blurry memory, but the fact remains: she killed them. It didn’t matter why. She took away the people I loved and planned for me to join them. I knew what I had to do. I was fourteen and scared, angry, hurt, and confused. Something was urging me to avenge my family, even though it was my mother who did it. I had to use the element of surprise. She was older and filled with rage.
“I looked in my mom’s eyes as I used my snake to kill her. I watched her take her last breath inches from my face. Her eyes stared into mine. Right before she died, I relaxed my grip, and she nodded. She knew what needed to happen but didn’t have the capacity to do it herself. I took her life. She joined the rest of my family in death, and I was left with nothing but blood and nightmares. I locked everything down. I cleaned the bodies and the house. I buried my family in the forest and slept the first night alone on the ground at the foot of their grave. Unfortunately, when I woke, it wasn’t a dream. I was still alone, and I had killed the woman who gave me life. Who taught me to be kind and respectful to women.
“Quinn couldn’t stand looking into the eyes of the shifters we had to kill.” I meet Juliana's wet eyes. “It was easy for me. I felt nothing because nothing compares to looking into your mom's.”
“Heath,” she sobs, and I wipe her tears.
“That is also the reason I killed Quinn’s mom when she became like mine. He couldn’t do it. I would have done anything to keep the stain from his soul. The risk of him hating me forever was worth it. She had to be killed. We couldn’t let her continue killing humans and shifters.” Her face crumbles, and I pull her into my arms. “Darling, don’t cry for me.”
“I should be comforting you,” she sniffles. “What did you do? You were only fourteen.”
“We had no friends or close neighbors. It was a different time. The few who asked paid no attention when I simply said they passed away. I was tall and strong. I found work and stayed in the house until I made enough money to live. When I left, I burned it down. I watched the flames while sitting by their graves. I said my goodbyes and never looked back. You are the first person I’ve told.”
She lifts her head. “Quinn and Micah don’t know?”
“No. Their family has accepted my presence but is still cautious. If I told them, they wouldn’t be so welcoming.” I don’t want to admit how much it would hurt if they turned their backs.
“I don’t know them well, but they wouldn’t feel anything but sympathy. Heath, I can’t imagine how hard it was. It shows your character.”
“It shows how easy I can kill.” I clench my jaw, and she straddles me, cupping my face.
“No,” she snaps. “It was an impossible decision. It was either you or her. She would have continued her destruction if you let her live. You would have died.”
“I should have stayed in the house,” I growl.
“You didn’t know she was a threat to their lives,” she says.
“I didn’t. Her behavior was odd, but I didn’t think she would kill.” I spent years trying to come to terms with what happened.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” she whispers, and I try to look away. Her grip tightens. “Heath, you had no choice.” I shake my head. “Baby, it’s true. You were so brave.” For the first time since that day, tears fill my eyes. “She wanted you to do it. She knew in the end that she was out of control. I’m sure deep down, she hated herself and the position she put you in.”
“Fuck, I didn’t want to do it,” I hiss.
“Of course not,” she says and kisses my cheek. “You were a kid. Your family was ripped away, and the threat to your life was real.” She presses her cheek to mine, wrapping her arms around my neck. “You had no choice,” she repeats in my ear.
“Shit, Juliana,” I breathe roughly, banding my arms around her.
“Let me share your pain,” she says.
“You won’t run,” I state firmly.
“I won’t. I swear. Hearing about your past helps me understand you more. This is why you let shifters fight here.”
“They come to me when the signs show. They don’t want to kill the ones they love. I give them a safe environment to end their suffering. I let them choose. Some have already killed. Others have disturbing urges to do it. One woman had already killed her daughter. She got in the ring with her new son-in-law. He lost his mate and will forever be empty without her.” I remember the agony on his face.
“Fuck,” she whispers, tucking her face against my neck. “I had no idea.”
“How could you? Everyone thinks I do this for pleasure and to make money. No one knows I give the money away.”
She jerks away, sitting straight. “You give away the money.”
“Everything I make here, I give to a charity that helps shifters and human women escape bad situations.” I shift, uncomfortable with her adoring stare. “Don’t tell anyone. The woman who distributes the money is under strict orders to keep my identity a secret. I have a reputation. I don’t care if everyone fears me. As long as you don’t, the rest don’t matter.” I slide my hands over her thighs. “Juliana.”
“I promise I won’t tell anyone what a great guy you are,” she says with a slight smile but sobers quickly. “Why did she do it? What makes shifters kill those they love?”
“Not every human is a good person. It’s the same with shifters and vampires. They could get a rush from their power over someone weaker. My mom switched suddenly. I don’t know what caused her personality change. A human can be perfectly happy, yet one day, something sets them off, or the emotions are always there; they just haven’t acted on it.” Cupping her knees, I squeeze. “Are you worried about becoming a shifter? Becoming like my mom?”
“No. I’m sad for you and her. I can’t understand how she could kill her kids and her husband. I have never had violent thoughts to that extent. I’ve dreamed of telling my mom off and never speaking to her. Are you scared it could happen to me?”
“I wouldn’t allow it,” I growl and slide my hands to her hips.
“Heath, honestly.”
“It would be my nightmare come to life again,” I admit, pulling her. “I have to believe the universe wouldn’t give me the perfect mate only to take you away.” She leans forward, laying her head on my chest.
“Let’s believe together,” she whispers, and we fall silent.
The thought of her becoming like my mom has been a worry, but I have shoved it away. I refuse to entertain the fear. The mysteries of our world will remain in the shadows. I don’t like thinking about my mom. That day was the last day I cried, and until tonight, I thought I never would again. My emotions have been locked down, and I dislike the rush of them now. I will protect Juliana with whatever weapons I possess. The only way I can be hurt again is if something happened to her.
She snores lightly, and I grin. Her trust is humbling. I am a dangerous man, and I have used the mysteries surrounding me to instill fear. I don’t share my background with anyone. I don’t need their sympathy or to change how they look at me. My childhood shaped me in ways they can’t imagine.
Gently, I roll my mate from my lap and tuck the covers around her. I stand beside the bed and stare at her beautiful face. She is everything. Everyone she comes in contact with should fear me if she is hurt.
I grab my phone, turn off the light, and open the door. Hunter messaged; I have business to take care of. Shutting the door softly, I walk down the hallway while I text him back. I don’t bother to put on a shirt. Hunter has seen my tattoos, and so has Bane.
I sit at the table and open my computer while I wait for him to arrive. I can’t forget the men I have been hunting because I found my mate. It is more important than ever to find them. Juliana could be threatened. The word has spread through their group that someone is killing them off one by one.
Hunter knocks, and I release the lock from my phone. I shut down all my emotions from the past and concentrate on one goal: keeping Juliana and Rylee safe.
“What do you have?” I ask as Hunter enters the kitchen.
“He was spotted in the area. I’ve listened to his conversations, and he’s in contact with the others. He thinks he can hunt you and kill you first.” Hunter sits across from me and grins.
“Are you herding him in my direction?” I ask.
“As you demanded,” he says.
“Good. When he gets closer, I will leave to meet him.” Hunter doesn’t reply, so I narrow my eyes. “What?”
“Are you worried about her?” he asks.
“I always will worry, but I will leave her in your care,” I remind him. “It won’t take me long to kill him. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
“I can take care of him,” he says.
“My answer is still the same.” He offered numerous times. “I have to do it.”
“Why? We all care about Rylee. You should be with your mate.”
“I refuse to put any of you in danger,” I hiss.
“You put me and Bane in danger every day. Why is this different?”
“It just is,” I grit out.
“Heath, why?”
“You didn’t see her. I did. You don’t know what she endured by their hands. I do. I will kill all of them by my hand,” I growl.
“What if one of them gets past you and comes for Jules?”
“No one will survive me,” I say roughly.
“Heath, it’s not bad to ask for help.”
“I am asking for help. I’m asking you to keep my mate safe in my absence.” I ball my fist and point it at him. “You promised.”
“I did, and I will. Heath—”
“Have you ever seen Rylee cower in fear?” I snap.
“No,” he sighs.
“She was cowering in a dirty alley. Bloody. Scared. Shaking. She looked at me with terror in her eyes. The things they did to her will always haunt her, yet she has worked hard to recover. What if one of them gets the idea to find her? Terrorize her again. What if they happen to cross paths with her again? Do you think she would survive again?” I’ve seen her nightmare and the scared girl she became.
“She’s not the same girl she was,” he stresses.
“I know. Do you know why?” I ask but don’t require a response. “I took care of her. I gave her a place to heal. She learned to fight. She knows I will always protect her from the evils of men.”
“Fine. What do you need me to do?”
“Guide the asshole to the location I sent you. I will be there to greet him, and you and Bane will be here with Juliana. It will take an hour. When I come home, you leave, and I will keep my mate happy.” I lean back, crossing my arms.
“Have you told Jules?”
“She knows I have been killing them.”
“She doesn’t know you are doing it today,” he guesses.
“No. She fell asleep, and I’m letting her sleep.”
“Do you think she will stay here?”
“Yes.”
“I thought you were getting to know her.”
“I am.”
“I don’t know much about her.” He pushes away from the table, looking at me. “I do know if she was your perfect mate, she won’t sit at home while you run into danger.”
“I won’t be hurt.”
“Anything can happen.”
“She’ll stay here.”
“If you say so. Just like she stayed when Sally was in trouble.” He walks to the door. “I’ll check in when she wakes up, just in case it doesn’t go as you planned.” He shuts the door as he leaves.
Juliana will be safe here. The plan was in motion before I met her. She will agree to the plan.
“No.”
“No?”
“I won’t let you go without me. Without Hunter or Bane.”
“They will stay here to protect you.” I hate that Hunter was right. I broke the news to Juliana when she woke. I was already dressed and ready by the time she stumbled out of the bedroom. She didn’t appreciate my plan. She didn’t like it when I pointed out she was still human and could die.
“At least take them with you,” she says.
“They need to be here with you,” I growl.
“I could call Sally. They’re all still in town, right? Quinn and Micah can protect me if something happens. I won’t be alright if something happens to you.” She leans over the table, pressing her palm to the surface. “I’m not a shifter, but I’m growing fond of you. I wouldn’t like it if you got hurt.”
“Fond?” I hiss, narrowing my eyes. I slowly leave my seat and round the table. “You’re fond of me.” She turns and I back her into the table.
“You’re changing the subject.” Her heart beats faster and her lips part when I don’t stop my advance.
“Care to change your word?” I whisper, and she braces her hands on the table on either side of her hips. “I could pick a word for you.” I cup her jaw. “Attracted.” I dip my head. “Possessive. Desire.” I slide my other hand around her hips. “Crave. Tempt.” I brush my lips over hers once. “Need.” I kiss her lightly on the lips and then her jaw. “Yearn.” Her moan pleases me. I move back to her lips and take her mouth. She widens her legs, and I step closer. I have to admit her worry fills me with satisfaction. I want her complete submission and need her to rely on me for all her urges.
Her hands move to clutch my sides, and I dive deeper. I don’t remember the last time I kissed someone, but I know it felt nothing like this. Her chest presses against me, and her breathing becomes shallow. She rips her mouth away, dropping her cheek to my shoulder.
“All of the above,” she gasps.
“Don’t ever use that word again,” I demand. “It is too tame for what we feel.”
“Agreed,” she says, tipping her head back. “Please take Hunter and Bane. We can call Sally. I’ll be safe.”
“Fine.” I step back. “Do not let Sally persuade you to leave the house.”
“Of course.” She smiles sweetly.
I don’t trust it.