Chapter Eleven

Heath

D ropping the towel to the floor, I move to the side of the chair and scoop my mate into my arms. Her arms slide around my neck, and I feel her stare. She doesn’t say anything or move as I walk down the hallway. When I kick the door of my room shut behind us and take her into the bathroom, her head turns.

“You filled the tub?” she asks softly.

“Yes. Do you need to use the toilet first?” I ask, looking at her.

“Uh—”

“That’s a yes.” I slowly lower her to her feet. “Call my name when you're done. Don’t get in without me in here.”

“Alright,” she agrees, and I back out of the room.

I lean on the wall beside the door, dropping my head, trying to control the storm of emotions colliding inside me. She gave me her trust. I feel honored. Possessive. Satisfied. Unsettled. I need her to agree to complete the bond soon. My snake is impatient even though we both are happy with the progress to win her heart. Having a taste of her was delicious, but it only made me want more and more and more. I wouldn’t be able to walk away from what we have. I don’t want to, and it scares the shit out of me that there is a possibility she doesn’t want the life I will give her. It was a risk, telling her I was moving. She’s either going to be all in or all out.

“Heath,” she says, and I turn sharply. She is standing in front of the sink when I enter.

“Do you like baths?” I ask, moving toward her.

“I used to love them when I was younger,” she says, allowing me to remove her tank top.

“Why not now?” I ask.

“It seemed like a waste of water.”

“Is that what you thought or your mother?” I take her bra off with a flick of my fingers, and she realizes that she is naked. She lifts her hands.

“My mom.” Her hands drop as she makes a decision not to hide from me.

“Here, you can take as many as you want.” I take her hand and guide her to the water, holding it high as she steps over the ledge. “You can do whatever the fuck you want here.”

“That sounds nice,” she sighs, her body sinking into the warmth. “All my decisions have been based on what other people want. I’ve lost myself a little. It’s going to take time to figure out what I like without anybody’s influence.”

“I’m serious,” I say, crouching. Dipping my fingers into the water, I caress her arm. “You don’t have to hide any desire from me.”

“I’m starting to believe that,” she whispers.

“Good.” I grab the soap and squirt a healthy amount onto a rag. “Arm,” I demand and hide my smile as it shoots out of the water. I hold her wrist and start to wash.

“How did you meet Micah and Quinn?” she asks.

“I got bored,” I say, grinning when she frowns. “The years after one hundred are filled with aimless wandering. Getting to live forever sounds fun until you are faced with years upon years of being alone. It was easy to make money, steal money, and hoard money. Nothing was challenging anymore. I tried everything I could think of, bought businesses, made a profit, and moved on hundreds of times over.” I motion for her other arm, and she lifts it. “Any friends I had in my youth were dead and gone. I had become bitter and cold. Nothing pleased me. I could make anyone give me whatever I wanted, and it wasn’t fun anymore.

“I searched the world for others like me but only found other kinds of shifters. Most were afraid of me and ran the other way. I didn’t have friends or family. I fooled myself into believing that I didn’t need anyone. I would wander the streets at night. I liked to explore the places I moved, and I moved constantly. Having a home was weird to me. I couldn’t stay in one place for too many years; people would notice I didn’t age.” I finish her arm and move to her neck.

“Walking through a park, I heard a woman whimper. I was curious and tracked the sound.” I stare at her skin but see the memory clearly in my head. “A male shifter was on top of a young woman. She was terrified; I could smell it in her scent. Her face was frozen, and the wounded sound came from her lips. He was raping her.”

“No,” she cries.

“I didn’t think. I was behind him before he could recognize the sound of my approach. I used my cane to take off his head. As it dropped beside the woman, she looked from it to me and whispered, thank you. She was shaken and bloody. I offered to take her to the hospital, but she just shook her head. I cleaned her as much as she would allow, afraid to scare her. I gave her clothes and money to go wherever she wanted.” I move down Juliana’s body. “I never saw her again and have always wondered what happened to her.

“After that experience, I had an idea. Why shouldn’t I help those in the same position as that mysterious woman? I had the power, and I could get the resources. Humans don’t have a chance one on one with a shifter. I’m very good at finding information. I despise those who take advantage of someone weaker. I was given these gifts, so why not use them for something good instead of making money?

“I began to pay attention to those around me. I had become desensitized and had no desire to interact. I discovered a world in which shifters stalked humans. There are ones of our kind that kill and abuse just as humans do. I can smell deception, fear, anger, all the emotions. You can’t imagine how many men stalk bars and clubs for someone they can force themselves on.” I meet her kind eyes. “I can’t imagine the helplessness a woman feels. Following the trail of abusers, I killed them. I did what I could for the women and moved on. When a shifter reaches a point in their life without a mate, they can become out of control. They turn into a different person who enjoys hurting others. Vampires are more susceptible to this since they live forever. Shifters can, but we age slightly, so there could be an end.

“I did the hard things. I protected our world and the humans who would be affected. I wasn’t afraid. Shifters have overlooked the problem and are unwilling to get involved. The mission was born out of boredom, but it became something else. I found a purpose. Killing wasn’t hard for me. I became numb to it. Sadly, there were too many abusers for me to handle myself, and I didn’t trust myself to control my beast. I could have slowed down and did what I could handle. No one was paying me or even knew I was doing it, but I couldn’t.

“I decided to find a partner or two. Finding a shifter who would join me became an interesting project. I wanted someone who could leave his emotions out of it. Sure, you felt sorry for the women, but what sneaks up on you is the look in the shifter’s eyes before you kill them. I had to find a shifter who was strong and without a full life.

“I found Micah, or he found me.” I reach her feet and drain the tub. I stand and get a towel, holding it up. Once it is wrapped around her, I dry the wet from her skin. “He was doing similar work, and I saw him using his power to influence a man who was going to hurt a woman. I watched from the shadows and could tell he had scented me. When he finished, he turned to me and wasn’t scared of me. I knew he was someone who I had to get to know. Micah knew I was in the area. He planned it and wanted me to see him. He is a six-hundred-year-old vampire who has been through a lot. I didn’t have to say anything—it was his idea to join together. We began to hunt the abusers and out-of-control shifters, and he understood my reasons for keeping my animal secret. I didn’t have to talk about being a snake; he accepted me.” I pick up my shirt and slide it over her head. She grabs the brush off the counter, and I take it from her. “Let me,” I encourage and gently comb through the strands.

“Micah found Quinn. He was angry. His home life was chaotic. Micah watched him for weeks. Quinn should have scented him, but he was preoccupied with his rage. He didn’t have a direction, and his anger consumed him. Micah waited outside the police station for him to come out after he got put in jail for fighting. He was suspicious but willing to listen to Micah’s proposition. When an ancient vampire shows up and admits to watching you, it can be startling to any shifter, no matter the kind or age.” I take her hand and lead her to the bed. After she settles in the middle, I follow her. I fold my hands behind my head and continue. “I don’t know why Quinn decided to join him, but I was glad to have him. He was not as accepting of me as Micah. We circled each other for weeks, unsure of our loyalty.

“We became dependent on each other and slowly became family. Quinn is a quiet man once he got past the anger that lived inside him for years. He studies a situation carefully before he proceeds. He had to watch me and my actions before he came to trust me. I can relate to him. I was always alone, and suddenly, I was living with two men. We are very different, but we found a common goal. We protected the innocent. Each of us had different reasons for doing it. It may have started as me being bored, but it turned into something bigger. I began to care about the work and the men who protected me as I did it. It might have been a way to make up for some of the fucked-up shit I had done. I wanted to even the scales.

“The stress and guilt of what we were doing became oppressive even though it was justified. Quinn started to question his role in our group and got hurt. We were supposed to be with him, but we were late. He was angry but didn’t admit it. Even though we are all powerful, things can happen. He took a claw to the eye just as we got there. I finished the battle, but the damage was done. The claw to his eyes was the tipping point. He decided to leave us.” Juliana moves closer and lays her head on my chest. I drop my arm and wrap it around her. “I didn’t like it. Stopping him wasn’t an option; he needed to get away. It was hard to go on without him with us. Living together for twelve years was a bonding experience, and it wasn’t the same with his absence.”

“Did you keep in touch?” She slides her arm around my waist.

“No. Quinn didn’t want to communicate,” I grit out.

“It hurt you,” she whispers.

“Very much,” I admit. “I wanted to demand his presence in my life, but that would have pushed him further away. I finally found a family, and then they left me.” They don’t realize the extent of my hurt.

“Micah left, too?” she asks.

“Not for a while, but he eventually moved on. I was left by myself again. The brothers I chose wanted to find their purpose alone.” The burning in my heart pisses me off. I thought I was past the emotions of their absence.

“They found you again?”

“I always knew where they were. Micah would call to check in, but Quinn cut all ties. I sent men to check on both of them and report back. They would have picked up my scent, so I never went myself.” Micah’s calls gave me hope.

“How could they leave you?” she asks, her anger bleeding into her scent.

“Their reasons are valid. Quinn had to deal with his demons. It isn’t easy to protect people who don’t know about the beasts killing for them. Watching a shifter or vampire leave the world forever because they don’t have anyone to share it with is disturbing.” My nightmares are filled with the eyes of the dead, but they aren’t the eyes of the shifters I killed with Quinn and Micah.

“Have you told them how you feel?”

“That would solve nothing,” I whisper.

“I think you need to,” she insists.

“Maybe.”

“How did you end up back in their lives?”

“I kidnapped a woman,” I state.

“Can you explain?” she asks, and I hesitate. “Heath, I’m not running.”

“I can’t understand why,” I say dryly. I’m shocked she’s still lying beside me. “A man stole money from my business. To find him and the money, I used his sister as bait. I sent the wrong men in my employ to ask her to meet with me. They hurt her, so when I showed up, she had blood on her face and was tied to a chair. Hurting women repulses me, and they paid for their actions with their lives. The woman was the mate of three lions. Lucas, one of the lions, fought for me several months ago. He decided he needed out, and I let him go, but he thought I wanted him back. Quinn lives in the same place, and after the incident, I went to see him. I forced him to talk to me and then left the option open for communication.”

“He took the option,” she guesses.

“Not exactly. He called to accuse me of threatening his mate after he found her.”

“What the fuck?” she growls.

“He didn’t mean it,” I say.

“How could it be interpreted differently?”

“It was an excuse. He felt guilty for leaving.”

“He should have,” she says, pulling away, leaning on her elbow. “That’s how you became friends again?”

“Yes.” I tuck her hair behind her ear. “The reasons don’t matter. He has welcomed both me and Micah back.”

“That’s not fair,” she grumbles. “He did the same things you did. You aren’t the bad guy.”

“Darling.” I cup her chin. “I have done much worse.”

“I don’t believe you.” I glide my fingers up her cheek and tangle them in her hair.

“Your defense makes me hard,” I smirk.

“Heath,” she glares.

“Years ago, after they left me, I started this business.” I move my hand, dropping it to my chest. “I paid men to fight. After a year of steady business, I expanded, allowing shifters who were out of control to fight to the death in my ring.”

“You gave them a way out.”

“Fuck, woman,” I hiss. “How can you justify everything I have done? Who I am?”

“Heath,” she whispers, covering my hand with hers. “I know you aren’t a bad man. You have treated me with care and consideration.”

“You confuse the fuck out of me.” I frown but don’t move away. “You do nothing I expect. You are a human in bed with a snake. Aren’t you scared of me? Of him? I have killed hundreds. You saw me kill. I have made money off of others' blood. Your brother was hurt because of me. I shift into a deadly animal. I’m fucking demanding, possessive, and I would rather be left alone. I would kill anyone for looking at you the wrong way.” I push up, pressing my back to the wall. “I kidnapped an innocent woman. I killed a man recently in the locked room across the hallway.” I need her to stay, but her lack of reaction is odd. I won’t let her go. I cross my arms and grind my teeth.

“My brother got himself hurt,” she says, sitting up to face me. “Do you force them to fight?”

“No,” I grit out.

“Did you want the woman hurt?”

“No, but it happened.”

“It was the worst way of getting your money back,” she says lightly, and I nod. “Did you apologize?”

“I did.”

“Are they part of the group?” she asks. I nod again. “So they have forgiven you.” I lift a shoulder. “Why did you kill the man?”

“He was one of the men who hurt Rylee,” I snarl, and she lifts her eyebrows.

“I haven’t met your snake, but I don’t think he will hurt me. He is part of you, and you have done nothing but take care of me. No one has ever defended me. I don’t want anyone’s gaze on me but yours; feel free to teach them a lesson.” I tilt my head. “If they touch me without permission, you can hurt them. I don’t know why I was chosen as your mate. It seems like fate. I knew about your world, and I’m grateful. I want to be with you. The way you make me feel is something I can’t ignore.”

“You don’t know everything,” I say softly.

“No. You don’t know everything about me either,” she says.

“You can’t reason away all the bad things I’ve done,” I say.

“I can try,” she quips, grinning. I resist the charm of her smile. My heart pounds as I decide to say the words I’ve never spoken out loud.

“You can’t.” I look away. “I killed my mother.” I look back. “Can you excuse that?”