Page 9 of Savior
There is a beat of silence, and then his front presses against my back, his heat warms my chilled skin, and his hands cage me between his body and the railing. The scruff of beard abrades my neck, and I shiver in response.
I’m disgusted with my own reaction, but at the same time, I’m grateful for the sense of control I finally feel. I can control what happens next. With the rest of my life spiraling, at least I have this. When he realizes I’m not rejecting his advances, he presses a soft kiss on the line of my neck.
I shouldn’t want this. I should push him away. He’s the one who hurt me and abused my trust. But even thought I know it’s wrong, I lift a hand to guide his mouth to mine. For the first time in too long, all the stress and pain melts away. I loved this man. I trusted him. I desperately want to bring back that feeling.
I’m comforted by the familiar taste of him, the way he knows how to nibble and deepen the kiss at just the right moments. I should hate him for what he did, but right now it feels like his kiss is giving me the first moment of sanity I’ve had in way too long.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he whispers against my lips.
He shifts us around until we are in a darkened corner of the deck. Behind me, the walls vibrate from the bass and below us, the sidewalk is packed with red-rope hopefuls. Their chatter floats upwards as Gavin lifts my leg to press into me at just the right angle.
He breaks the kiss and cups my face. “I need to talk to you. Come home with me? Come back to me.”
I put my hands to his chest, unsure of my answer. It would be so easy to say yes, but I should say no. I’m saved from making a choice when my phone rings.
I tear away from him and jerk my phone from my pocket. It rings a few more times before my clumsy fingers can navigate the touch screen. “Thank God you called.” I take a few steps away, shame flowing over me like a heatwave. “I was about to do something you’d probably kill me for.”
“Piper,” my other half, Paige, says, “Please tell me it doesn’t have to do with that son of a bitch.”
“It may.” I signal to him that I’m heading inside. “Would you mind coming to the bar on second?”
He shakes his head and tries to follow, but I dodge his grasp. It’s too loud and there are way too many people, so I head to the hallway leading to the bathrooms.
“I’m already on my way. Don’t move a muscle. I’ll be there in five.”
The bathroom is blessedly empty. I pocket my phone and splash my face with water, then rip off a couple paper towels to blot away the moisture. When I step back out, Gavin is there waiting. I glance at him, but keep walking when I see the anger twisted in his features. Is he really that pissed that I wouldn’t just take him back after what I walked in on him doing? I don’t know and I don’t really care. I take a seat at the bar, order another beer, and wait for Paige. Somehow, I always feel steadier when she’s there. The sun to my moon.
“That one’s for you.” I point to the identical cup and stool next to me when she shows up. “Consider it my peace offering before you read me the riot act.”
“Smart move. Plying me with alcohol always works.”
“I—”
“No.” She covers my mouth with her hand. “You don’t even have to explain. You forget that I live with you. Just shut up and drink. We’re going to forget all about this and chalk it up to a weak moment.”
“You’re the best.”
“You know it.”
“Would it have been so bad?”
“If you’d slept with him again?”
“Yes.”
She takes a contemplative sip of her beer. “This could be me being overprotective, but I think so. You deserve better. You deserve a man that worships you and puts you first. I don’t think he could ever be that kind of person. What can I say? I have impossible standards.”
“At least you have some.”
“This is also true.”
Truth be told, Gavin is the most recent in a long line of self-centered jerks I’ve dated. As much as I hate to admit it, Paige is right.
We finish our drinks and I convince her to go out on the dance floor with me for a while. It’s not often she can tear herself away from the books for a night out, so I take advantage of the time we have. A part of me knows once college is over, the best friend I’ve had my whole life will be one step closer to living her own. So when she tugs her arm and signals she’s going to go, I force myself not to protest. We have to cut the cord sometime. I mean, it’s not like we can spend our whole lives living together, sharing everything. We’re both going to have to get used to the idea that we’ll be apart for the first time in our lives.
She nudges my arm. “Don’t worry about it. You order another drink. Dance your ass off for a while. Then you’ll come home, sleep it off, and I’ll wake you up at the ass crack of dawn to do Pilates at the rec center or something.”
“You aren’t staying?”