Page 53 of Savior
“Humor me,” he says.
I think back to that night like I have so many times before. “The last time I saw him was when I after I walked out of the bathroom. I didn’t see him again after Paige showed up.”
“After Paige left, what happened?”
“Logan,” I plead. “I don’t—”
“I’m right here,” he says. “I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to face this alone anymore, honey.”
“After Paige left, I stayed at the bar for a while. She told me to drink and dance and let off some steam—so that’s what I did. Then I went home.”
“Did you notice anyone around you? Anyone who had been particularly interested in you or Paige?”
I shake my head mournfully. “No one. No one that I can remember. I was so focused on me that I didn’t pay attention to anyone else.” I look up at him. “If I could go back, I’d do things so much differently.”
“I can’t compare my experiences to you losing your sister, but I know well enough what it’s like to relive memories you’d rather forget. Which you could change decisions that resulted in a loss of life. You may think I’m a fucking jerk for making you open these wounds, but I do it not only because it can help save other lives, but because you can’t let things like this fester. It eats you up.”
“Is that why you used to drink?” I ask bluntly.
He doesn’t even blink. “Yes. There were things I had to do as a sniper that kept me awake at night. Things I’d rather drown in booze than face. It took the end of my marriage, her cheating on me, to face the man I’d become.”
“How do you live with it?”
“One day at a time. One drink at a time.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get over what happened to Paige. I’ve tried.”
“Let me help you.” He tucks the curve of my hair around one ear. “Let me help you put this to rest. You don’t have to fight alone anymore.”
“I’m just so tired.”
“I know you are.” He kisses my temple. “After this, I’ll take you home, and we’ll get a shower and you can sleep for a week.”
The tension melts out of me because a shower sounds amazing. “What else do you want to know?”
We spend the next hour going over my memory of the walk home, then the attack. I tell him everything I remember, even the things I’d rather forget. He doesn’t push or prod. He just lets me tell the story at my own pace. I break down again when I tell him about finding Paige and having to watch what happened to Stephen, and he holds me through all of it.
“What now?” I ask, when he’s done.
“Now, we go home,” he says as he puts an arm around my shoulders. “And we take that shower. I’ll make you dinner for a change. Then we’ll not have a beer and watch television until our brains are numb. After that, I think we both need some sleep.”
We walk out of the police station together and for the first time in over a year, I don’t feel the empty loneliness that had once been such a constant companion. I hold the feeling close and press myself more securely against his side.
I’m not sure what tomorrow holds, but for today, I’ll take the comforts he’s offering.
Logan
After an exhausting dayfor the both of us, I almost sleep through my alarms the next morning. My back creaks when I sit up, and I glare down at Rocky and the couch. The couch is barely big enough for me as it is, but Rocky’s decided he sleeps with me or doesn’t sleep at all. At three a.m. I caved and let him hop up with me.
I could have convinced Sienna to let me into her bed, but I didn’t. She was emotionally raw, and she needed her space. Knowing she’s in the next room all sleepy and soft, doesn’t help, so I decide to get food before I wake her up in more interesting ways.
Certain I smell like dog, I jump in the shower again and dress quietly, hoping I don’t wake Sienna. I let Rocky out for his morning business as I down a cup of coffee. When he’s done, we both check on Sienna, who is still sleeping. I leave her a note, letting her know I took Rocky with me and that I’ll be right back, and then I gather up his leash and lead him out to the truck.
We stop at the cafe Sofie and Livvie like to get breakfast, and I order us a couple breakfast platters and some to-go coffees while Rocky waits outside. .
The server is handing me the to-go containers when the two women come in through the doors, their various kids in tow.
Livvie brightens when she sees me, tugging her son Cole along behind her. “Logan! Good morning.”