Page 32 of Save A Horse (Texas Rose Ranch #1)

Daisy

“D aisy, are you okay? Daisy?”

“Hm?” I turned to face him.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh. Yeah.” I was such a bad liar. I wasn’t okay.

I was dreading every bit of this visit. I didn’t want to go back there…

I didn’t think I could do it just yet. I didn’t know if I was ready, and I had no reassurance of whether this would go well or not for me.

What if it made things worse? What if I made things worse?

“I can tell by the look on your face that you aren’t okay. Tell me the truth. What’s going on inside that pretty little head of yours?” I wanted to take delight in the fact that Colt had just called me pretty, but that feeling just couldn’t outweigh the heaviness of seeing my day today.

“I’m just dreading this a little bit.” A little? Who was I kidding? I was freaking out at this point.

“Going back to the ranch or seeing your dad?”

“Um… ”

“Both? I haven’t seen the ranch in seven years.” Seven years I had left this place and never looked back, and now here I was about to step foot on the same soil where my mom had died. That was hard to swallow.

“You didn’t see it when you came in for my mom’s funeral?”

I remembered that. It was a sad day, and it reminded me of being at my own mom’s funeral.

My dad asked me to come by the ranch to eat and stay the night, so I didn’t have to make a trip right back to the city, but I didn’t take him up on that offer.

I could tell he really wanted me to stay and that it would mean a lot to him if I did, but I wasn’t ready.

“No. We ate after, and that was it. He offered for me to stay the night there, so I didn’t have to drive back to the city, but I turned him down.”

“Oh. If you don’t want to go…I mean, if it will be too hard for you…If you’re not ready yet, you can fake getting sick, and I’ll take you back, and you can go to bed and rest instead. I can handle helping your dad.”

Colt’s offer was generous. He was a kind person. He always had been. But I couldn’t do that to him or my dad. I needed to bury my fears and go do the job Walt told me to do. I needed to face my dad.

“I’ll be okay. I need to do this.” I nodded, and Colt placed his right hand on my inner thigh. I loved the way his hands felt against me. I looked down at his hand, smiling slightly, and placed my hand on his. I knew Colt had my back.

“Daisy, you don’t have to hide it from me.” I smiled. “Are you sure you’re okay?” I nodded, and we got out of the truck.

It hadn’t yet registered with me that not only would I have to confront my dad after that last encounter we had and keep my relationship with Colt a secret, but I would also be back at the family ranch after seven years .

I hadn’t seen the place since the day I left.

I felt panicky inside, rubbing my hands on my jeans to wipe away some of the sweat from them. I was shaking a little, trying my best to hide my feelings from Colt, who was sitting in the driver’s seat beside me.

“Colt?” My dad spotted him as soon as he got out of the truck. I was coming up slowly behind.

“Hey, John. How’s it going?”

“Could be better. I just need a little help with the cattle.” That’s when my dad saw me.

“Hey, dad.”

“Hey. Walt sent you both over to help?”

“Yes. He did.” I replied, feeling my palms sweat.

“What’s he got going on today?”

“He’s fixing a piece of fence. He wanted to stay and work on that.” My dad nodded at my words.

“Yep. That’s Walt, alright. That fence is like a baby to him. He’s always taking care of it.”

“You’ve got that right.” I was glad Colt had stepped up to talk for a moment. I wiped my hands down my jeans, trying to wipe away some of the moisture from them.

“Well, let’s get to it then.” We followed behind him.

Colt looked at me and mouthed the words, you okay?

I nodded. We made our way over to the cattle in the corral.

“I put the sick ones in here. They need some meds, but without anyone here, it’s hard for me to hold them still and give them the shot of Cattle Master. ”

“Well, we’re to help. Tell us what you need.” Colt continued the conversation with my dad, and I was thankful for him.

“Can you try to hold them still while I inject them?” Colt nodded, and I wondered if my dad was only talking to him or me as well.

“Daisy, when I get them injected, can you help move them? That way, they don’t get in the way or get injected twice?”

“Yes.” I hated being short with him, but this wasn’t the right time for me to talk to him about what had been weighing on me.

One by one, my dad and Colt gave the cattle the medicine while I wrangled them into the chute.

Giving the cattle shots was a task that required both care and precision, and watching my dad expertly handle the syringes brought me back to my childhood.

His hands were steady and confident, as I always remember so vividly.

It reminded me of all the times I would spend right alongside him, helping him with any task so that I could learn all the ropes of ranch life.

I knew we didn’t have a big ranch like Walt's, but although our ranch was smaller, it was always peaceful and quaint, and not once did I mind that.

Every now and then, my dad would glance over at me, and I could see a little sparkle in his eyes. I wasn’t sure what that meant. I wondered if me being here made him happy or if he knew we needed to have a conversation, too, and he is dreading it as much as I am?

Once we finished with the cattle, we sat on the fence, watching the cows graze.

“John, is it alright if I run inside? I need to relieve myself.”

“Oh, yes. You go right on it. Help yourself.”

Now that we were alone, it seemed like as good a time as any to have this much-needed conversation.

“So…” He turned his head towards me.

“So…”

“It’s been a while since you’ve been here.”

“Yes. It has. ”

“You know…I get why you haven’t been back here.” I looked over at him. “Daisy, I lost someone, too.”

I think for the first time, that really sank in. I hadn’t just lost my mom.

My dad had lost his wife.

His companion.

His confidant.

He had lost his best friend.

“I know, dad…I know.”

“I miss her.”

“I miss her, too.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you more. You were dealing with what happened in your own way, and I should have been there for you more.”

“I should have come back here, too.”

“You still can.”

“I still can what?”

“Come back here.”

I looked out into the fields again, watching the cows move along while grazing. My dad offering for me to come back here and stay was something a little unexpected. I have been on my own for seven years now, and I just felt like that’s what it would always be like for me now.

The weight of his words lay heavy in my chest, thoughts racing through my mind.

Was I ready to leave the city?

Did I want to leave?

If I stayed, it could be better for Colt and me.

If I left, I didn’t know what would become of our relationship.

Staying could also mean being around my dad more, which I liked the thought of.

But then, what would I do for work? I wanted to take pictures and write, but could I really do that year?

It had been a dream before, but I thought it was a lost cause after everything that happened.

It was a tough decision that I was going to have to think long and hard over.

I heard a noise and saw Colt coming out of the house. I was glad my dad and I had a few minutes to talk. I understand a lot more now.

“Hey?” I turned to look at my dad. A smile came across his face.

“Colt’s nice, ain’t he?”

“What?”

“I see the way he looks at you.” The way Colt looks at me?

Does he make it that obvious? “You used to be best friends, but I sense there’s something more to it now.

I laughed nervously, and I think I gave myself away right then and there.

“Heck. I was right. Your old man may be old, but he ain’t stupid.

” We laughed again. “Y’all ain’t told Walt yet, have you? ”

“No. Dad, can we keep this between us? Please?”

“Of course.”

“It’s just…complicated.” Colt had now made his way over to us.

“You know?” I put my hand on my head, realizing he had heard our conversation.

“Yes. I could tell by the way you look at her. And listen…it’s okay with me.” He placed a hand on Colt’s shoulder, gripping it slightly. “If she’s happy, that’s all that matters to me. Can I ask you one thing, though?”

“Sure.”

“What makes it so complicated that you ain’t told your dad yet?” I wasn’t sure how my dad would react, but I knew Colt. He would tell him the truth.

“Before Daisy came here, he asked me to promise him that I would keep it strictly business…professional...and that nothing would happen between me and Daisy.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I guess I broke that promise.”

“Well, son, you do need to tell him eventually. Got any idea why he made you promise that?”

“I don’t know.”

I have been wondering about the same thing since I found out, and I still don’t have an answer.

“I think he thought he was protecting you.”

“Protecting me? How?”

“We all saw how the two of you always hung around each other, ever since you were little, and how you wanted to do everything together. No one could separate you. And the way you two looked at each other then is the same way you do now.” Colt glanced over at me, then we continued to listen.

“Daisy lives in the city, and your dad was probably afraid that if you spent a lot of time together this summer, something could happen, and you’d get your heart broken.

He doesn’t want to see you get hurt, Colt. ”

“I didn’t realize.”

“Once you have kids of your own, you’ll know how it feels to want to protect someone like that.

” We sat there for a few more minutes, watching the cattle.

“Thanks, you two, for coming to bail me out today. You were of good help.” I gave my dad a smile and he returned it. I had missed being able to talk to him.

By the time the sun began to set, casting a golden hue over the fields, we had spent the whole day with my dad on my family’s ranch. I was grateful to Walt for telling me and Colt to come. It meant a lot to me to be able to reconcile with my dad. It was something my heart needed for a long time.

After spending this time here, I realized how much I had missed these moments. I enjoyed the work, the laughter, the talks, and the memories. I glanced over at Colt, busy teasing a calf, and felt grateful for this summer.