Page 9

Chapter Eight

Emma

I n the end, it wasn’t a cab but Jude who came to collect me.

They were just wrapping up the party, so it was good timing…

or lousy timing, more likely. Inside, I was crumbling, but on the outside, I plastered on a happy smile to greet Jewels and Jude with all the enthusiasm of long-lost friends.

This might have been hard for anybody else to do, but not me.

I’d gotten used to faking a smile because when I didn’t, it made it harder for Sloane.

Later, I promised myself I would find some privacy and process what had gone on.

“So, how was it?” Jude demanded as we made the long walk back to the car. The chain-link fence was far behind us, and we made our way along a dusty street lined by derelict buildings to where Jude had parked. “You were busy for quite a while.”

“Like hours.” Jewels giggled. “So, is he proportional?” She looked me up and down like she was expecting to see some evidence that a twelve-inch schlong had battered my pussy.

“Jewels!”

“What?” She giggled, merry on both alcohol and the night. “You’re still walking straight.”

Which was precisely what Ryder had said I wouldn’t be doing if he’d given me his dick. Only he hadn’t given it to me. The closest I’d gotten was a brief press of my hand against it before he decided it was time for me to leave.

“I don’t fuck inexperienced betas, no matter how pretty they are, or how sweet their pussies.”

Yeah, that had stung a lot, like a freaking mile-wide wound. “We didn’t do that,” I said. “He wouldn’t.” That was as much detail as they were getting. Some things were better kept private. The man had rocked my world and then all but kicked me out the door.

“What?!” Jude screeched. “These alphas are far more complex than I first suspected.”

He didn’t know half of it.

I wished Sloane were here. She had a pair of low heels in her bag for me, since I couldn’t fit them in my tiny purse.

I hoped she was okay, but I was sure she was.

At least her alpha hadn’t tossed her out of his room after telling her he was packing more than she could take.

I mentally rolled my eyes. That put-down was going to leave the kind of mental scars I’d sworn I could handle.

I thought about texting Sloane, then I thought about all the things Ryder had said to me.

The fact he’d sent me away and wouldn’t fuck me, told me he had command over his alpha side.

I wished he hadn’t in some ways, yet I couldn’t deny that I’d felt safe with him the whole time.

He was no blind rutting machine about to go on the rampage.

He had values and an honor system, even if he had a fake ID and wouldn’t give me his dick.

I believed Sloane was absolutely fine and getting better acquainted with her chosen alpha’s dick than I had.

“I didn’t even get a look at it,” I said before I could censor myself.

“What?” Jude said for the second time, mouth open on a dramatic gasp.

“Kept his pants on the whole freaking time. I’ve never been so frustrated in my life.

” Well, not that frustrated, but I didn’t say that part out loud.

“We did, um, other things.” I was blushing furiously, and I wasn’t one for blushing.

“I think I’m ruined for all other men.” So much for me keeping the details to myself.

They hadn’t even gotten the thumb screws out or tried to bribe me with a trip to McDonalds for something greasy.

“I didn’t get anywhere near his cock,” I said, sounding disappointed.

Jude gave me a hug. “Damn, girl. I expected him to put out. The guys I met at the bar were great, but not enough for me to call in my pass with Derek. There was this one fine specimen at the door when you were leaving… For him, I’d call in my pass.”

I chuckled at Jude’s antics. He’d been with Derek for a little while but remained an outrageous flirt.

“The alpha at the door is Dane,” I said.

“He’s business partners with Jace, who Sloane left with, and Ryder, the guy I was with.

They own the club, I think. They definitely manage it.

” It hadn’t crossed my mind at the time, but for all I knew, Ryder could have been feeding me a line.

He’d spanked my ass for my gullibility. Freaking hell, I was such an idiot. “At least he said so.”

“Oh, I believe you,” Jude said, nodding. “The guy oozed power. So, lucky Sloane. Although I admit, it was nothing like I was expecting. I’m a tad disappointed no one ravaged me on sight.”

I laughed as we arrived at the car and bundled in. I was glad Jude could still make me laugh when I felt like I was crumbling inside.

They sat in the front chatting, and I took the back, where I let the drone of their conversation and the music from the radio wash over me.

I was confused about what any of this meant.

Despite the brutal way he’d thrown me out, I wanted to see him again, but I wasn’t that girl.

I didn’t pine over men. I should just call him an asshole and forget about him, but in the back of my mind was a strong feeling that he’d called time out because, deep down, he was tempted and worried about hurting me.

And really, his body couldn’t lie. He’d been hard…

and freaking huge. He probably expected a sensible beta like me to run screaming after getting a look. The guy was likely fed up with it.

He’d growled, and he’d purred. He’d gorged on me intimately like my juices was mana from the gods.

I was still tingling and puffy… It was distracting.

But where exactly was I going with this?

I’d just finished college. I was going to be an interior designer with a life outside Desparion.

What was a beta interior designer going to do inside the alpha zone?

Well, I guessed they must have interior designers somewhere.

The club looked pretty good. Maybe they had their own or contracted them when needed.

The fence that separated us was far behind me now.

As we pulled up to Jewel’s apartment, the conversation had tapered off. A tired Jewels hugged me. “Happy birthday, babe. See you tomorrow! Keep me posted on all the Sloane gossip.”

I climbed into the front, feeling Jude’s eyes on me. He was an expert at playing the fun loving lark, but he was also sensitive. Outside the window, the flashing city lights painted colors across the hood.

“I’ll come back and stay with you until Sloane returns, sweetie.”

I nodded.

“Are you okay, Em?” His hand closed over mine and gave a gentle squeeze. “I know you hide stuff from your sister.”

“I’m fine. Honestly, I am. I…I like him.

I don’t even freaking know him, but I liked him a lot.

And not just because the sex was hot. I mean, it was mind-blowing, but there was other stuff too.

He was…” I searched for the right words.

“Unexpectedly gentle.” It was more than that, though.

How did you put into words a spark I’d never felt with any other man?

During our brief exchange, there were hints about his past and arrival in the zone.

He wasn’t a beast—he was complex and also a man.

I wanted to peel the layers back and explore.

“There is no easy way to come here,” he had said. “It’s worse for some than others.”

Why couldn’t he be one hundred percent asshole? It would be so much easier then.

Jude smirked. “Em, you’ve never connected with a guy, ever. I wondered if you were gay and in denial.”

I snorted out a laugh. “I love you, Jude.”

“Love you too, sweetie.”

Turning left, he pulled into the visitor parking bay of our apartment garage.

After our parents died, we sold their house and bought something smaller and more suitable. It was close to the city center. College was only a fifteen-minute walk for me, and it was convenient for Sloane, who worked in the city. Despite Jude’s presence, it felt empty without Sloane.

“Want a coffee, love?” Jude called as he headed for the kitchen. Jude and Jewels hung out here so often, Sloane affectionately called it their second home.

“Hmm, please.”

I kicked off my shoes, fished my cell out of my bag, and padded through to my bedroom. I needed a shower and craved something soft against my skin.

My cell dinged.

“Sloane?” Jude called from the kitchen.

“Um, no.” I had a different ring and message sound for Sloane. Standing at the foot of my bed, I stared at the name next to the message.

Ryder.

Fuck! Ryder was messaging me.

Are you okay?

I rolled my eyes. Really? He was sending a message to check if I was okay after booting me out of his apartment? All the anger I’d quashed reared its ugly head.

I thought about sending a snippy answer.

“Coffee’s up!” Jude called.

“Just taking a shower!” I tossed the cell on my bed, daring him to text again.

He didn’t, and that also made me irrationally mad.

I ripped off the spangly dress and put it in the wash. I could still smell Ryder’s pheromones clinging to my skin. The face staring back at me in the vanity mirror might as well have been a stranger. Here, away from prying eyes, away from the need to put on a bright smile, the real me stared back.

I looked so freaking lost.

Taking out a wipe, I started cleaning my makeup off. On the bed, the cell phone dinged with another message.

I ignored it and continued removing all evidence of the party girl. By the time I was done, I looked like a different person. My skin was pale in the artificial bathroom light, my eyes looked a little too big, and my dark hair was wild where he’d had his fingers in it.

I closed my eyes, hit by a flashback of me on his bed, legs stretched open uncomfortably wide to fit those massive shoulders.

Ryder was eating me out, his expression dark, feral, and utterly ravenous.

My pussy clenched, and a slippery mess gushed out.

I clamped my hand over it, confused and a little shaken. Did I just come?