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Sweat popped out across my skin, and my knuckles turned white where I gripped the countertop.

When I pulled my fingers away from myself, they were covered in a clear, sticky residue.

I stared at them. What the freaking hell was happening to me?

Was this some kind of weird aftereffect of being with an alpha?

Had he broken my pussy? I stepped into the shower and switched it on, letting the water pelt over me, getting my hair wet, and scrubbing away the events of last night.

Through the open door of my en suite, I could see the cell light up as the generic ringtone played out. Was he trying to call me now?

My heart rate accelerated as it continued to ring.

“I don’t fuck inexperienced betas, no matter how pretty they are, or how sweet their pussies.”

Only I didn’t feel like I was innocent anymore. I felt like he’d awakened me to something I hadn’t known existed, and now that I’d dipped my toes into the carnal pool, I wanted to dive all the way in.

The water calmed me, helping me to center myself.

Sloane always complained about me spending too long in the shower, but she didn’t know that I used to come in here to cry.

Afterward, I would plaster on a bright smile and pretend everything was fine.

It hadn’t been fine for a long time, not since my parents died.

The gaps between the sadness just grew steadily longer over time, where I could escape the dark cloud.

Death was part of life. I got that, but I’d been young, only fifteen, when it happened. Now I was twenty-two and would be graduating from college next week. Sloane would be there, but at times like this, I missed my parents.

They wouldn’t be at my graduation ceremony. If I married or had children, they wouldn’t see that either. I had Sloane, I told myself, and that was more than many people had. I wished I’d had a chance to get to know my parents better before they were taken away.

I turned the shower off and dried myself with the extra soft towels Sloane insisted we get.

On the bed, my phone rang again.

I padded through to check if it was him calling. Yep, Ryder. He was persistent. That had to be good, right? I’d always hated clingy men, yet Ryder calling felt unexpectedly comforting.

I huffed out a breath as I tossed my towel into the bathroom. Ryder wasn’t even his real name, as he’d openly admitted.

I wondered what his birth name was. It was almost like those motorcycle clubs where they got a street name once they joined—they took on a new identity and their birth name had no context or meaning anymore.

Against my better judgment, I picked up my cell, finding two missed calls and several messages. I couldn’t read the whole message from the lock screen and curiosity was killing me, but if I unlocked the screen and read them, he would know.

“I’m drinking coffee on my own!” Jude called, and I fumbled my freaking cell, somehow pressing the damn message button by accident and all the messages sprang up.

I know you read the message. Did you get home safely?

I rolled my eyes.

Tell me you’re okay, or I swear to fucking god, next time I see you, you won’t sit down for a week!

I dropped the cell for real this time, then snatched it up, fumbling. Finally, I sent I’m fine, before exiting the bloody message app and turning the screen off.

It beeped. My heart lodged in my throat, and my pussy freaking clenched.

What the hell? It was like I was bloody trained or something. I wish I hadn’t said I was fine now because—I definitely needed therapy—all I could think about was his big hand against my ass and the hot craziness that came after.

No one had ever spanked me before, and I’d never wanted anybody to. Sure, I’d read about it in books on occasion. I’d read many things in books. That didn’t mean I wanted to try them.

Yet I’d liked the vulnerability of being over his lap, a helpless and yet willing participant, and the way he’d given me all the power to stop whenever I wished.

He wouldn’t even fuck me. What kind of alpha was that?

They were nothing like I’d imagined they would be, at least Ryder wasn’t.

They were far more complex. I’d talked to Sloane before we left, saying how I empathized with the plight of alphas and omegas.

I empathized with them tenfold now. Yet I knew other alphas existed—the less virtuous kind who waited on the periphery.

I’d picked Inked because it had such good ratings.

Everyone said it was a great place and safe.

I thought that was largely down to the three men who owned it, managed it, or whatever it is they did.

But I sensed darkness existed in some alphas, and had we gone a little farther down the strip, our experience might not have been good.

I sensed the feral hunger in Ryder too, but he had control over it.

My phone began ringing again. Please stop calling me. Only I didn’t want Ryder to stop calling. If he were here right now, I would throw myself at him. I wanted to hear his purr, the sweet noise alphas made, against my ear. I loved the way it calmed me, a beta.

I wasn’t an omega, though, I reminded myself. It wouldn’t work. Alphas and omegas were so different from betas, they were an entire subspecies.

That was where the Dawn Agency got its name—after the very first omega.

At the time, they had lauded her as the next stage of human evolution because of her high empathy, which was seen as favorable in an advanced race.

Then the alphas came, aggressive, powerful, territorial.

They swept through society, driving anarchy, sending shock waves through our world.

What changed us? A leaked virus from a lab—tactical warfare at its most extreme.

There was no cure.

Worse, the alphas triggered changes in the omegas, calling to their animalistic side, making them into something else. A mating between them created a mysterious psychic bond and connection that lasted all their lives.

It soon became apparent that alphas were the dominant species, but they were few in numbers. Those who were not afflicted used deadly force to round them up. Many were killed outright. Finally, a humane approach was decided upon. Cities across the globe cordoned off parts of the city to house them.

The alphas fought back, so they gave them the only thing that would keep the peace.

The omegas.

They were not like us—they craved a bond with a mate. Ryder would want and need things I couldn’t give to him, so it confused me that he was still calling. Why would he?

I could never go back there.

It was better this way, better if I never went there again, because I could see myself falling for him in a way I’d never fallen for anybody else.

Jude was right about that. Why did I have to fall for a freaking alpha?

I must have a self-destructive complex or something.

I had a good life and a sister who needed me.

She might be the strong one, but I thought she needed to care for me because it helped her through the darkest times.

We both changed that fateful day, just in entirely different ways.

My phone finally stopped ringing, and I let out a heavy exhale.

I dragged some comfortable sleep shorts and a T-shirt on, then walked through to the lounge.

Jude sat on the couch, his untouched coffee on the table between the two couches, head in his hand.

“Fuck,” he muttered, seeing me. “Why did I turn them down?”

I chuckled, and sitting opposite, dropped my cell on the table beside my waiting coffee. I wanted to keep it close in case Sloane called or messaged me. “I don’t know, Jude. Why did you turn them down?”

“I had a boyfriend with this alpha fetish who started training me to take the knot of this freaking huge dildo. I mean, I put a valiant effort in, but we, you know, never got to the full size. I’m pretty sure no beta man is meant to take an alpha cock.

Still, I might have died happy trying.” He grinned.

“Too much information, Jude!”

He shrugged. “It got a bit weird after a while. Much as I fantasized about being an omega, I also like who and what I am.” Picking up his coffee, he took a sip before nodding his head toward the cell phone. “Nothing from Sloane yet?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Oh, who was that then?”

“It was, um, a guy.”

“Guy?” His eyes suddenly narrowed knowingly before a shit-eating grin splits his face. “Girlfriend, are you holding out on me? Was that the alpha? Did you give him your number?”

I huff out a breath. “Fine. I gave him my number.”

“So.” He makes a little upward motion with his fingers. “Gimme the details. What did he say?”

“I…haven’t answered it.” Yeah, I actually squirmed at Jude’s gasp of shock.

“Why the fuck not? Give me the phone.” He motioned for me to hand it over.

I snatched it up from the table. “No! You’re not having the fucking phone. I know you—you’ll start answering the messages for me!”

“How many boyfriends have I dealt with for you? I excel at situations like this. Ask Derek. Do you want me to get rid of him? I can handle it, no problem.”

“I don’t,” I blurted out.

He grinned.

“You were fishing, weren’t you?”

He shrugged, not even a little guilty. “You really like him?”

“Fine, I like him.”

“Then why aren’t you answering these fucking messages?”

“Don’t pressure me!”

“Tut-tut, Em.” He shakes his head. “Playing hard to get. Something tells me that’s not the best approach to take with an alpha.”

“What? I’m not playing hard to get.” I shook my head emphatically. “I’m just…processing it.”

His eyebrows crawled up into his hairline. “Well, don’t process it for too long. Did you at least read the messages?”

“No,” I lied.

“We’ll have a look at them together.”

“If I look at them, then I’m going to have to answer them, and I can’t answer a message like this under pressure. He’ll know I’ve read it.”

I picked up my coffee on what I hoped would bring an end to the discussion. Outside the window, it was daylight.

“He’s probably already calling his backup.”

I nearly spat my coffee out. I scowled at Jude, who laughed so hard, he had to hold his belly. “Don’t be an ass, Jude. You only want to look because you’re nosy.”

“Guilty as charged. Come on, hand it over, girlfriend. You know you want to let me handle this. I’ve handled all your relationships so far.”

“All my previous boyfriends were chumps, and I didn’t care if you messed up.”

“Ouch,” he said, rubbing his chest. “You know how to wound a guy.”

“You’re not wounded,” I said.

Even without his grin, I knew he wasn’t upset.

Jude was the most resilient person I’d ever met.

His parents disowned him when he told them he wouldn’t marry a ‘nice’ girl and churn out babies.

He took it in his stride and said he’d always expected that response and was glad to be himself.

I admired how Jude had built a network of caring people around him for support.

We were both orphans, just in different ways.

Unlike me, I didn’t think he was pretending to be happy. I thought he genuinely was. He still saw some of his family, like his sister and grandma. But yeah, Jude was one of the good ones, and I was grateful to have him as my friend.

He was also still staring meaningfully between my cell and me.

“No,” I insisted.

He smirked. “You really are sweet on this alpha.”

I took a sip of my coffee. “I really am,” I agreed.