Page 10 of Ruthless Secrets (Alpha Mafia Daddies #6)

Chapter Eight

CLARA

I screwed up big time.

Marco was bound to find out about Zoe eventually, but I should not have been like this.

I had planned on sitting him down and introducing them in the hopes that he would be so enamored by her that it would soften the blow of my betrayal.

He doesn’t even know her name .

For some reason, that fact tips me over the edge, and my legs buckle.

I sink to the floor right there in my doorway as I’m overcome with emotion.

I knew he would be pissed, and yet watching him storm away is like a punch to the gut.

Is he going to come back? Or is he done with me for good?

“Oh god,” I sob.

If I were smart, I would have told Marco the truth the moment I first saw him at Nox, when I realized who he was. He would likely still have been angry, but the fact that I didn’t even know his name when we slept together would have worked in my favor.

Instead, I kept my mouth shut in the days that followed that first meeting, and my only excuse for not telling him then is my own cowardice.

That and the fact that I was enjoying the way he was looking at me today.

For the first time since the night we slept together, I felt desirable, and I didn’t want him to stop. Part of me was convinced he would try something with me in the office, and I would have willingly let him.

It was selfish of me to put my own desire for Marco above my own baby, and now any chance I had at giving Zoe a better life is likely gone, and I only have myself to blame.

The sound of Zoe crying is the only reason I get up off the floor.

I’ve already ignored her cries for long enough, so I head back into my bedroom to tend to her. But when I look down at her tear-stained face, I’m hit so hard by another wave of emotion that I can barely take a breath.

She has so much of Marco in her, and he has no idea.

She might be my daughter, but she’s his too. And he has a right to know her.

If I truly wanted to find him, maybe I could have, but I was too busy trying to survive, working myself into oblivion so I could never stop and think about my mess of a life.

And deep down, maybe the truth is, I chose not to find out.

Now I understand it was wrong, but at the time, it made the most sense. If he wanted me to find him, he’d have left me some way to contact him or even just his name.

It’s not the best reasoning, but I was hurting, and then I was desperate to find a way to give my daughter the best life I could under the circumstances .

All I can do is hope that Marco is willing to look past my dishonesty for Zoe’s sake.

I lift Zoe out of the crib and cradle her against my chest, stroking her head of dark hair and singing to her as I rock her from side to side.

After a few minutes, I manage to calm Zoe down enough to lay her back down in her crib.

She still sleeps in my room because I can’t afford a bigger place, but I also like having her next to me.

Sometimes, I bring her into my bed just so I can watch her sleep.

These first few months of her life have gone by so fast, and she’s changed so much. It won’t be long until she’s walking and talking and while I’m excited to watch her grow into her own person, I’m also terrified.

The world is a scary place, full of violence and pain. A world that Marco is all too familiar with.

We killed Lorenzo.

I knew there was a deeper reason I was choosing not to tell Marco about Zoe. His family is dangerous, and I need to protect my daughter, which is going to be harder to do now that he knows about her.

I gently close the door to my bedroom and creep back out into the living room.

Toys are strewn all over the floor, and there’s empty bottles and laundry on every available surface.

A lot of the time after putting Zoe down, I collapse on the sofa and spend the rest of the evening watching reality TV. But tonight, I need to keep my mind busy so I can’t think about Marco. So, I grab a laundry basket and start tidying the place up.

Just as I’m loading the last of the bottles into the sterilizer, a knock sounds at the door, and my heart skips a beat.

He’s come back.

Fresh tears sting my eyes as I rush to open it before Marco has a chance to change his mind .

But when I throw open the door and find Sam standing there with a bag of takeout in hand, a strangled sob escapes my lips.

I had completely forgotten that we had made plans to have dinner tonight, which only makes me feel worse.

Not only am I a terrible mother, but I’m also a terrible friend.

“Why do you look devastated to see me?” Sam laughs, but then she notices the look on my face and her expression instantly turns serious. “What happened?”

I shrug as my throat is too thick with emotion to speak.

Sam steps inside and shuts the door behind her.

“Clara, talk to me.” She keeps a calm tone as she drops the bag of takeout on the console table.

Where do I even start?

As I picture the look on Marco’s face as I told him he had a child, the tears start pouring down my cheeks once again.

He didn’t look shocked or devastated. He looked horrified , which is exactly what I was afraid of.

No matter how Zoe came into this world, I never want her to feel like she wasn’t wanted.

Sam takes my hand. “Okay, let’s go and sit down.”

I let her guide me back into the living room and over to the couch.

She says nothing as she sits beside me and watches the tears continue to stream down my face.

What if Marco decides he wants to fight me for custody? Could he use my lack of openness against me and have me deemed unfit to take care of Zoe? After all, he has money and resources that can give Zoe a lot more stability—all things that I don’t have.

“Oh, god.”

“Take a breath, Clara.”

I screw my eyes shut and try to breathe, but it’s like I’ve forgotten how to. Suddenly, I’ve gone from being scared to tell Marco about Zoe to potentially losing her forever.

How could I have let this happen?

“Now, tell me what’s going on.”

I push my hair out of my face and wipe my cheeks before curling my feet underneath myself and hugging a pillow to my chest.

“Marco knows.”

“Marco knows what?”

“About Zoe.” Saying it out loud feels like a punch to the gut.

“Oh, shit. You told him?”

“He showed up here and heard her crying. I had no choice.”

“I’m guessing he didn’t take it well?”

I shake my head as fresh tears fall down my cheeks.

“He’s likely in shock, Clara. After all, the guy just found out he had a kid.”

“You should have seen his face. He was so angry.”

“He probably just needs some time to process.”

“I didn’t even get a chance to tell him her name.” My voice cracks, and I bury my face in my hands as my entire body trembles with the force of my sobbing.

Sam rubs a hand up and down my back. “It’ll be all right. When he sees Zoe, he’ll forget that he’s angry.”

“What if he doesn’t want to see her?” I lower my hands. “What if he can’t look past what I’ve done?”

“Well, then he’s an idiot because Zoe is an absolute angel, and anyone would be lucky to be in her life.”

“W-what if he takes her away from me?”

Sam wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. “He wouldn’t do that.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Neither do you. You’ve met the guy what, three times? ”

I can’t help but cringe.

This is not how my life was meant to go. I was meant to marry Adam, a man who I had loved for half a decade, and raise kids and grow old with him. Yet, that very man turned out to be a lying cheat that got my former best friend pregnant, so I guess I’m not a very good judge of character.

“Do you think he’ll try something?” Sam asks.

I start to shake my head, but then I remember the conversation I overheard earlier.

Marco’s father brutally murdered a man’s brother as well as his twin sons, who could have been Zoe’s age for all I know.

Suddenly, a cold sweat breaks out on the back of my neck.

What have I gotten myself into?

“If he’s angry enough, he might… Let’s be honest, I have no idea what Marco, or his family for that matter, is capable of.”

I should have walked away from this job the moment I learned it was owned by the De Lucas, let alone Marco.

But I can’t change the past. All I can hope for is that Marco lives up to the man I imagined him to be in my mind.

The man who took me to bed that night all those months ago and worshipped my body like his life depended on it.

Sam sits up straighter. “Fuck it, we need wine.”

“I don’t think I have any.”

“Good thing I picked some up on my way, then.” She jumps to her feet to go and grab the bag of takeout.

Normally, I wouldn’t bother having a drink, especially on a weeknight, because the effort to pump outweighs the desire for alcohol. But right now, I really just want to numb my feelings, so I don’t object.

Zoe will just have to make do with formula tonight.

“Why don’t we watch a movie?” Sam carries the bottle of wine and two glasses over to the coffee table. “It might help take your mind off things.”

I highly doubt that some 90’s romcom is going to distract me from the fact that my child’s father hates me and likely will want nothing to do with either me or Zoe, but I don’t want to hurt Sam’s feelings.

She’s only trying to help, and it’s either watch a movie or spend the next two hours talking through all the potential outcomes to this situation.

So, we sit in silence and watch the film, though I don’t pay attention to a single word that is being said.

The wine only makes me feel sicker, so I barely touch it along with the food, but Sam doesn’t comment.

When the credits finally roll, I get to my feet and start clearing up. It’s almost nine, which means it’s officially an acceptable time for me to go to bed and sleep off this day.

Sam brings the last of the plates into the kitchen. “Are you going to go to work tomorrow?”

I groan. “I hadn’t even thought of that. There’s no way I can work at Nox after this. Do you think it’s too late to get my old job back?”

Sam shrugs. “Let’s not make any rash decisions before you’ve spoken to Marco. For all we know, he could turn up first thing in the morning with coffee and doughnuts, ready to play happy families.”

I highly doubt that will happen, but I appreciate Sam’s efforts to cheer me up.

“And, Clara, I’m here if you need someone to talk to. No matter the time, you can call me.”

I walk her to the door. “I know. Thank you, Sam. For everything.”

She gives me one last hug before leaving, and I shut the door quietly behind her.

My apartment feels deathly silent and for a moment, all I can hear is the sound of my own heartbeat pounding in my ears.

I really should take a shower, but Zoe is due for her dream feed, so I quickly prep her bottle and head into the bedroom.

But when I get inside, the crib is empty.

“Oh, my god! Zoe!”

I hastily turn on the overhead light and glance around the cramped room, though I know in my heart Zoe isn't here. She can’t even stand up by herself yet, so there’s no way she could have suddenly learned how to climb out of her crib.

But that doesn’t stop me from throwing back the covers on my bed and looking under it as well as the crib.

She’s not here.

“Zoe! Zoe?—”

My eyes land on the open window beside my bed, and my knees give out.

Someone was in my room. While I was next door drinking wine, someone broke into my apartment and took my sleeping baby right out from under my nose.

I don’t have time to crawl to the bathroom before I throw up all over the floor.

What if I never get her back?

“Oh, god!” My stomach clenches with the urge to throw up again.

I need to do something. Every second that passes, the further away Zoe could get, but I’m frozen with fear.

What kind of sick and twisted person would break into someone’s apartment and steal a baby?

Then it hits me.

“Marco…”

It seems a little too coincidental that the night he finds out that he has a child, that very child goes missing. This has the De Lucas written all over it.

If they think they can scare me, then they’re wrong .

When it comes to my baby, I will stop at nothing to get her back.

I get to my feet and pull my phone out of my pocket and go to dial 911, but then I stop.

If Marco is behind this and I get the police involved, it will likely not end well. Besides, a lot of officers have recently been found to be on the payroll of many of these crime gangs, so they wouldn’t be on my side anyway.

I need to take a different approach.

I open up my contacts and dial Levi’s number instead. As I hold the phone up to my ear, my entire body trembles with fear as it starts to ring.

“Hello?”

“Levi? I-it’s Clara.”

“What can I do for you?”

My throat burns with bile as I fight the urge to throw up again.

“Marco… Is he with you?”

“No, he’s out on business.”

I cover my mouth to try and stifle the sound of my sobs as I try to think through my options. But that’s hard to do when I’m currently standing in front of an empty crib where my daughter should be sleeping.

“Can you give me his number? It’s urgent.”

“I can pass on a message for yo?—”

“ Please, Levi, I have to talk to him.”

He huffs. “Fine. I’ll text you his info.”

Before I can say anything else, he hangs up the phone. A few painful seconds later, I get a text through with Marco’s number, and I quickly click on it.

With each ring, my panic turns into rage. “Pick up the fucking phone!”

“Who is th?—”

“Where is she?” I yell down the phone .

“Clara?”

“Where is Zoe? Where have you taken her?”

“What are you talking about? You’re not making any sense.”

“This isn’t funny, Marco!”

“Clara, calm dow?—”

“I can’t calm down! My baby is missing!”

“Wait, what?” Marco barks down the phone.

“Why the hell would you do this?”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I would never do that!”

“I want to believe you, Marco, but the reality is that I don’t even know you!”

This conversation is only making me more hysterical, and Marco’s silence isn’t helping.

When I look down into Zoe’s crib and spy her favorite pink bunny, it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

“Marco… Please. Don’t do this.”

“I promise you, Clara. I didn’t take Zoe. But I have a pretty good idea who did.”