Page 172 of Ruthless Creatures

“Because even though you were almost killed, and your dead fiancé isn’t actually dead, just a dickwad, and god knows whatever else you haven’t told me yet, you’re fine. And the only time you’ve been fine in the past five years is when you’re with him.”

My throat gets tight. So does my stomach. I say in a small voice, “He lied to me.”

She’s unimpressed. “Puh. He’s a man. Just withhold sex for a week or two and he’ll never lie again.”

“It’s inappropriate to punish someone by withholding sex.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s the most powerful tool in your arsenal.”

“What’s going to happen when you find someone you really care about, Sloane?”

“Dear god. You’re not still beating that dead horse, are you?”

“I am. I know you just haven’t met your match yet.”

“That’s because you were brain damaged from that time when you were six when you fell off your bike and hit your head on the curb.”

“I was wearing a helmet.”

“Whatever. You haven’t been the same since. I tried to convince your parents to pull the plug, but they’d gotten attached to you and refused. Idiots.”

I realize I’m smiling. “I never went into the hospital, but thanks for the love.”

“You’re welcome. And I know you’re smiling right now, so don’t even try to pretend you’re hurt that I find your ridiculous love life entertaining.”

“Speaking of love lives, how’s Brad Pitt, Jr.?”

She pauses. “Who?”

“The hot blond guy you met in the Uber ride share.”

“Oh. Him. Rearview mirror, babe.”

The more things change, the more they stay the same. “I miss you.”

“Miss you, too. Come back soon. This dog of yours is the most boring animal on the planet. All he does is sleep.”

“Would you be surprised if I told you he attacked Viktor the assassin who was sent to kill me?”

“Yeah, right. Now you’re just making things up. By the way, I saw Chris at the store last night.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. He said to tell you he apologizes for anything he ever did to offend you and hopes you’ll forgive him, then he ran away. Now what do you think made him do that?”

Remembering my last encounter with Chris, I make a face. “Kage had a little man-to-man chat with him after I told him Chris had been driving by my house at all hours of the day and night.”

“Exactly as I thought. I wish I had a man who’d protect me from all the assholes in the world.”

“You could, but you’d get bored of him.”

“You get my point. Kage is gaga over you, babe. Cut him a break. Now I have to go, because there’s a singles’ meeting at the library that I’m late for. I hear there will be bingo.”

She hangs up on me, which is her way of telling me not to feel sorry for myself.

She’s the queen of tough love, but I suspect underneath that steel armor she wears beats the softest heart in the world.

Not that I’ll ever know for sure, because she’d throw herself off a cliff before she’d admit it.