Page 34

I RETURNED AN hour later with a pouch full of pine needles and acorns, both of which Tova turned her nose up at.

“Where is the meat?”

“I won’t risk venturing further to hunt game,”

I said. Not when I felt as if I were the game being hunted. I peeked into the cave where Trig still slept. “Has he stirred?”

“Not even when we heard shouts.”

“Shouts?”

I cast a worried eye up the hill, where all lay still. The midday sun poured through the branches, creating a heat that pounded against my skin.

“They passed quickly. No one has come this way.”

The odds were unlikely. We were either very lucky, or someone was shielding us. Perhaps my time around the gods had made me wary, but my mind went to Balder and if he might be the one responsible.

Ve would be the one most likely to find me here. The fact that he hadn’t come meant he didn’t want to see me.

I dumped the food onto the ground and began the work of digging through the trinkets around the cave, searching for something I could use as a bowl to fetch water. I found a golden goblet with rubies that shone in the light, still pristine as if it hadn’t been sitting here for seventeen years. My fingers curled around the stem of the cup, and I made quick work of dipping it in the river to fill it with water. I buried the pine needles in, and swirled it around to make a simple tea. The water would help soften the needles so we could eat them, and the water would help us all.

Tova remained on her knees, grinding something black into a powder.

I offered her the cup. “Drink.”

“I will,”

she took the cup, “if you paint.”

She passed me the tiny bowl of black powder. “I found kohl amongst the arsenal of items, and figured it was time to look Viking again. You’ve been a goddess for too long.”

Something about her words delivered a blow to my emotions, sending a wave of nausea over me. She was right—I’d been a goddess for too long. But shredding that identity felt like stripping away a part of myself I wasn’t ready to lose. I dipped my fingers into the powder to smear it against my fingers. I’d found a life here, a family, a love. A home.

With a slow motion, I dragged the kohl down my brow and onto my cheek.

With one strip of paint, I removed the goddess and found the Viking.

She stirred within me, as if awakening from a long sleep. Longing for Danmark and battle and glory and all things a mortal should wish for. Not aching for the land of the gods. Hoping to never see their faces until she entered Valhalla. And as she awoke, I pressed against Ruin, urging the goddess to go to sleep. The one who dined with Odin. Who fought with Erik. Who sat with Frigg. Who wore silk chemises and thick cloaks, with a home layered in expensive wool throws.

She did not go easily. The goddess roared, demanding to stay. I drew another line on my face, telling her this was who I was now. Viking.

Tova scooped some powder to draw on herself. She placed markings on her arm—runes asking for safety and good travels. It was ironic, because it was the gods we were asking. I doubted they’d give it to us now. “What is this place?”

I took a deep breath, grateful for a distraction. “An altar the gods made for Astrid.”

“The one they thought you were?”

“The one they thought I was,” I echoed.

Tova rummaged through the things, finding a rattle to turn it over in her hands. The gems in that one rattle would buy a hundred more in Danmark. I didn’t miss how she pocketed it. “I’m sorry Odin turned on you.”

I chuckled humorlessly. Turned on me was a light way of saying ‘put me against my sister and forced us to fight to the death.’ “I blame Aegir more than anyone. I suspect this whole ordeal was his maneuvering to get himself back in Odin’s good graces. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s been hiding the real Astrid this entire time. Now he will find Odin’s true granddaughter and bring her back as the hero.”

My thoughts spiraled again. Ve would meet his true fiancée and fall in love with her. She would live at Hitta Haven, fight with the weapons I had, garden with Frigg like I did, and kiss the lips I’d dreamed of.

“Aegir is a strange god,”

Tova commented, graciously ripping me from my ravaged mind.

I swung my gaze to her. “You’ve met him?”

She nodded. “He came to the cells to take a drop of my blood once.”

“He seems to have a weird habit of doing that.”

I painted another line on my face. “At least I got a good sword out of my time here.”

From behind us, Trig groaned. Tova was on her feet in an instant, leaving a rune half-finished. It was the rune for victory, which felt appropriate. Our victory was short-lived. “I should check on him.”

“I’ll be here.”

One by one, painting marks, until the last of the goddess Ruin was gone, and only Rune remained. If only the memories could be so easily erased.