Page 37 of Rules Of Engagement: St. Louis (In The Heart of A Valentine #17)

Chapter

Twenty-Seven

NAOMI

I blinked, and my focus cleared as the sounds of Mel’s Diner filtered back into my consciousness. Journey and Frankie were staring at me with matching smiles on their faces while they spoke to each other in low murmurs but loud enough that I could hear every word.

“Do you think she’s going to snap out of it anytime soon and tell us about her relationship?” Journey asked Frankie.

“I’d say it’s going pretty good, if that ridiculous, lazy grin on her face is any indication,” Frankie replied, cutting into her chicken and waffles.

“You’re right about that.”

“I can hear you,” I said, reaching for my iced tea.

Frankie and Journey glanced at each other, their voices going even lower. “She can hear us.” They smirked, and I rolled my eyes.

“So, now that we have your attention,” Frankie said, leaning forward with her chin propped on her palm, “tell us, please, how’s it going between you and Christian?”

I set down my fork, realizing I’d been pushing my Greek salad around my plate for the past ten minutes without taking a single bite.

My mind had been thousands of miles away, back on that sailing yacht in Sicily, watching the sun set over Mount Etna while Christian held me against his chest. I couldn’t believe it was over so soon, and I yearned to be back, but I also couldn’t believe this was real.

“It’s going well,” I said, trying to sound casual. “Really well.”

“Really well?” Journey raised an eyebrow. “That’s all we get?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Details, girl,” Frankie said, waving her fork for emphasis. “We’ve been sitting here for thirty minutes watching you daydream with that dopey expression on your face. Something good happened.”

I sighed, unable to fight the smile that spread across my face. “I took him to Sicily this past weekend.”

“Sicily?” Journey’s eyes widened. “As in Italy?”

“Yes,” I swooned. “And I thought Tuscany was romantic, but no, Sicily definitely topped it. It was the most romantic weekend of my life.”

Frankie dropped her fork with a clatter. “Hold up. You took a spontaneous trip to Italy and didn’t tell us?”

“I surprised him with it. He’d mentioned wanting to go back there, so I planned the whole thing myself.”

“Look at you being all romantic and spontaneous,” Journey said, full of pride. “I’m so happy for you, Naomi.”

“It was everything. He makes me want things I swore I’d never want again. Sunday dinners with his family, lazy mornings in bed, a future that includes someone else’s dreams alongside my own.”

Journey reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Those are beautiful things to want.”

“They are. And that terrifies me.”

“Why?”

I stared down at our joined hands, trying to put words to the fear that had been growing alongside my love for Christian. “Because the last time I wanted things like that, I ended up broken and alone and convinced I was foolish for believing in fairy tales.”

“Christian isn’t Gerald,” Frankie said sharply.

“I know that too. But knowing it in my head and believing it in my heart are two different things.”

“What does your heart tell you?”

“My heart tells me that Christian is everything I’ve ever wanted. He’s kind and patient and loves me like my father loves my mother.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem. Everything is going great. Amazing, really.”

“But what?” Journey asked.

“I haven’t said but anything.”

“Yes, but there is a but, isn’t there?”

I didn’t respond, only stared into the salad on my plate.

“Oh shit,” Frankie said, “there is a but,” they sighed together.

I rubbed my temples harder. “Y’all are stressing me out.”

“Come on, Naomi. We know you. Tell us what it is so we can move past it.”

“Okay. So maybe there’s a small but.” I rubbed my lips together. “I’m bracing myself. Continuously waiting for him to disappoint me. And before you say anything, understand that I’m trying to mentally work through this.”

“Okay, here’s what I’m going to say,” Frankie said, pointing her fork at me. “Fuck all that. Don’t let that good man go, you crazy heffa.”

I rolled my eyes, my nostrils flaring. “You would say that, wouldn’t you?”

“And I wouldn’t be lying.”

I turned to Journey, who had been unusually quiet during this exchange. “Oh, please, don’t get silent on me now.”

“Do you really want to hear what I have to say? Because you know I’m coming with some hardcore truth.”

“I’m listening. Let’s hear it. I could use stone-cold truth.”

Journey set down her sweet tea and looked me directly in the eyes.

“For you to move past your fears, you must continue the relationship knowing there’s an equal chance that Christian could disappoint you.

It could be as big as your last disappointment or worse.

” My gut tightened, and my throat clogged.

“But also, he could be nothing like your last disappointment and everything you need and more. The question is, are you willing to take the risk with him? If not, you should set him free and let someone who can love him properly do it.”

“Damn, Journey,” Frankie said. “Tell her how you really feel.”

“She asked for the truth,” Journey replied. “I love you, Naomi, but you’re sabotaging something beautiful because you’re afraid it might hurt someday. Every relationship comes with risk. The question is whether Christian is worth the risk to you.”

I sat back in the booth, processing what she said. “He’s worth everything.”

“Then act like it,” Frankie said. “Stop waiting for him to disappoint you and start appreciating what you have right now.”

“You’re right. Both of you. I’ve been so focused on protecting myself from imaginary future pain that I’ve been missing out on present happiness.”

“So what are you going to do about it?” Journey asked.

I changed the subject as the unease of their raw truth settled inside me.

“Frankie, that nurse you were ogling a few months back, I know him.”

Frankie’s eyes widened. “What do you mean you know him?”

“Turns out, he’s not a nurse at all, but a neurosurgeon who works at Barnes-Jewish. He’s also Christian’s brother. I met him at their Sunday dinner. He recognized me but couldn’t remember where he’d seen me, and I was shocked to find out. The brother is fine. Even more in regular clothes.”

“Well, bitch, hook a sista up then!” Frankie shouted, and I laughed while Journey smirked and shook her head.

I grabbed my phone and tapped through it. “There, I’ve just airdropped you his number. He’s waiting for you to reach out. I think he wants to double date. But don’t tell him I said that. He wanted to ask you properly first.”

She gasped. “Oh my God! My girl!” She lifted her hand, and we high-fived, and I was happy to successfully pivot our topic.

Christian

“Seven ball, corner pocket,” Elijah said, chalking his cue.

“Show off,” Xander muttered from where he was leaning against the wall, nursing his third glass of Brandy.

In my penthouse, I watched Elijah sink his shot with perfect form, then moved to the bar cart to refill our glasses. The ritual was comforting. Sunday afternoons with my brothers, with no agenda beyond spending time together.

“So,” Elijah said, moving around the table to line up his next shot, “how was your mysterious weekend getaway? You’ve been grinning like an idiot since we got here.”

“Sicily,” I said, pouring Brandy into three crystal tumblers. “Naomi surprised me with a trip to Sicily.”

Xander straightened from the wall. “She surprised you?”

“To the place I told her I wanted to visit again, when we first met. She remembered.” I couldn’t keep the wonder out of my voice. “She planned the whole thing, booked everything, and I didn’t find out where we were going until the captain announced we were entering Sicilian airspace.”

“Damn,” Elijah said. “That’s romantic as hell.”

“It was. We spent two days exploring, cooking together, and sailing. She looked...” I trailed off, remembering the pure joy on her face.

“Like a woman in love?” Xander finished, accepting his refilled glass.

“Like the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

My brothers exchanged glances over the pool table.

“Things are getting serious,” Elijah said.

“They are. At least, to me,” I said, settling into one of the leather chairs that flanked the game area. “She’s everything I want. She fits into my life like she was always supposed to be there.”

“You sound happy,” Xander said. “And I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, brother.”

I was reaching for my own glass when Xander’s eyes landed on something behind me. His expression shifted from casual to sharp attention.

“Is that what I think it is?”

I followed his gaze to the kitchen island, where I’d left the small Tiffany box when I’d grabbed ice for our drinks. Shit.

Before I could respond, both Xander and Elijah had abandoned the pool game and were staring at the unmistakable blue box.

“Brother, this is serious,” Xander said. “Are you going to ask Naomi to marry you?”

I froze, holding my glass of Brandy. I let out a long breath. “Nah, she’s not ready for that yet.”

“But you are?” Elijah asked, moving closer to the island where the ring box sat.

“It doesn’t matter if I am. She’s not.”

“How do you know that for sure?” Xander pressed.

“Believe me, I know.”

“So why do you have the ring?”

I set down my Brandy and picked up the box, turning it over in my hands.

“Because I saw it and I could picture her wearing it. And when the saleswoman asked if this was for someone special, I didn’t hesitate before saying yes. I’ve been carrying it around, hoping that someday she’ll be ready to hear what I want to ask her.”

Elijah whistled low. “You bought an engagement ring on impulse?”

“Not impulse. Hope.”

“Have you talked to her about marriage at all?” Xander asked, settling into the chair across from mine.

“We’ve talked about everything else. Her fears about relationships, her ex-husband who destroyed her trust, and the way she’s slowly learning to believe in love again.

” I opened the box, revealing the solitaire diamond that had seemed perfect for Naomi’s hands.

“But marriage is still too big a step for her now.”

“So you’re just going to carry that ring around indefinitely?” Elijah asked.

“Until she’s ready. Or until I realize she’ll never be ready.”

“And if she’s never ready?”

I ran my tongue across my teeth. “Then I guess I’ll have to decide if loving her is enough without the promise of forever.”

Xander reached for the ring box, studying the diamond. “This is a serious ring, Christian. This is a ‘spend the rest of our lives together’ ring.”

“I know what it is.”

“You’re in love with this woman, you want to marry her, you’ve bought the ring, but you’re not telling her any of it because you’re afraid she’ll run.”

“I’m not afraid she’ll run. I’m afraid she’ll say no before she’s had enough time to realize she might want to say yes.”

“Time for what?” Elijah asked. “What are you waiting for? Some magical moment when all her fears disappear?”

“Maybe.”

“Brother,” Xander said, “that’s not how healing works. She’s not going to wake up one morning completely over her ex-husband’s damage. She’s going to work through it day by day, choice by choice, while living her life and loving you.”

I closed the ring box and slipped it back into my pocket, where it had lived for the past three weeks. “She’s been hurt before by someone who promised forever and delivered heartbreak. I won’t be another man who pushes her into something she’s not ready for.”

“Okay, it’s your decision, but you should consider that she might be waiting to see just how serious you are about her, and waiting won’t give either of you those answers.”

My brothers were right, but still, I was hesitant.