Page 37 of Royal

I laughed. “Yeah, or a serial killer will come to town. Wait. That’s real, too. Never mind.”

Royal chuckled. “Why am I laughing?” He groaned and lifted his hands to cover his face. “I’m confused. I’m sad about Jon. And still super pissed at you. I shouldn’t be laughing.”

“Laughter is the best medicine.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re such a cheeseball.”

Well, it was better than him calling me a cocksucker or an asshole. So, I’d take cheeseball.

I looked into his eyes before glancing at his mouth and back up again. My body heated, and my heart kicked into gear, beating faster.

Royal and I didn’t only have history together; we also had a connection that ran deep. The years apart hadn’t changed that.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Royal whispered.

I shifted closer. “Like what?”

Royal tightly swallowed, staring at my mouth. He breathed out, and his breath fanned across my lips. A simmering fire shot through me, snaking through my veins.

“You know what,” he answered. “It…it can’t happen, Gray.”

“Why?” I gripped his waist. His lips were so close to mine. Just one small movement forward and I’d feel them. “Because you know that once we go there, there won’t be any going back?”

“I can’t trust you, Gray.” He wet his lips, his baby blues flickering to my mouth. “I know the reasons why you pushed me away in the past. I knowyou.Which is why this is so hard.”

“So stop fighting it.”

Please. I need you.

“And when you get scared again?” he asked, his gaze locking on mine. “Will you get drunk and go find the closest twink to fuck?”

“I didn’t fuck him,” I confessed. Royal’s brow furrowed. “I intended to, yeah. But I couldn’t. Not long after you left the room, I stopped because I couldn’t get you out of my head. Couldn’t do that to you.”

Emotion crept up my throat, and I tried to swallow it down. I wasn’t the same guy Royal used to know. But he was right about me throwing up walls. I wondered if I’d ever fully let him inside.

Royal closed his eyes and a lone tear trickled down his cheek. “I didn’t know that.”

Still holding his waist with one hand, I cupped the side of his neck with the other. Holding him felt right. The only way I’d managed to move on without him in my life over the years was to lose myself in my work.

Now my work was bringing me back to him.

“Look at me, baby.”

His eyes snapped open, and the heartache reflecting in them was like a slash to the chest.

“I know I fucked up before. More than once.” I paused to gather myself. “You were the best thing in my life, and I was a fucking idiot to ever let you go.”

“You’ve done fine without me,” he said. “If it wasn’t for this case, you wouldn’t have ever reached out to me again. I’d still be forgotten. A part of your past.”

“Not true.” Fuck. Time to own up. “I never forgot you. I record the news every weekday so I can watch it when I come home from work. So I can seeyou. Hear you. Even before this investigation started, I was missing you every day. Forcing myself not to call you. Not sure how much longer I would’ve been able to hold off.”

Questions sparked in his eyes. He didn’t ask them, though. Maybe he feared the answers…or maybe the answers didn’t matter because he was set on keeping me at a distance.

Then his expression changed. Darkened.

Royal shoved against my chest, sending me stumbling backward. I could’ve easily overpowered him, but I didn’t want to. If he intended to kick my ass, I was going to let him. God knows I deserved it.

“I fucking hate you, Gray,” he spat before pushing me again. “I was so in love with you, and you broke my heart! Threw me away.” Another push. His eyes burned with a deep-seated rage. “And now you show up here saying shit like that. Who the fuck do you think you are?”