Page 39

C ain cannot know why he learned how strong I am, instead of my wolf, while hunting me that frightful morning. I have to stir this conversation away from mate bonds. I let a playful smile arch my lips, still being held by the back of my neck.

“And what do you think? Am I strong enough?” I ask, because somehow I know he doesn’t want some weak damsel in distress. He wouldn’t be paired with me, otherwise.

He pulls me closer, until our noses touch.

“You are, and it’s very hot.”

He doesn’t let me say anything else, crashing our lips together in a passionate kiss.

I wrap my hands around his neck and let him pull me onto him. I kiss him back with all the heat I have in me. And I have a lot.

He made me so horny this week—never trying to take me, but constantly touching me at night with his strong alpha hands, that made my thoughts obsessed with sex every time. And the sex with him? It always felt so good, I can literally feel my walls clenching at the thought of it.

I deepen the kiss desperately. We are out of breath and the kiss is just perfect. Seems dirty and desperate, but sweet at the same time. It makes me pull back an inch or two, so I can look at him. Really look at him.

I am looking, and I see I’m a lost cause. Cain is hot as sin, and I can’t fight it anymore.

I have no idea when or how and why, but I totally fell in love with this insanely attractive, strong, ruthless man—whose huge muscled body is pressed against mine.

And that’s why I have to protect my heart.

But first I want to feel him, with all the raw emotions of the true mate bond, one last time before I say the dreaded words of rejection.

So, I lift myself onto my knees and take off my red blouse. He pulls himself up too, and I help him take off his shirt. My hand lingers on his abs, and he smirks with all the confidence in the world. We kick off our shoes and take each other’s pants and underwear off. His eyes travel along my naked body, making me all hot and bothered.

He is kneeling before me, sitting on his heels, strong legs apart, dick already so hard and glorious I can’t help but wrap my hand tightly around it.

He growls and then wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me so close it almost hurts. I put my hands on his shoulders and then move them deliberately slowly to his neck and head. I tangle my fingers in his black hair and tug.

He kisses my jaw and shifts us slightly. I can feel his cock between my legs, and I can’t wait to feel him inside me.

But he’s not in a rush. He takes his sweet time, kissing my face, biting my lips, and grabbing my ass. I moan under his warm touch. One of his hands wanders between my wet folds, and my body wants to burst with desire.

I want to plead with him to take me already, but the raw passion happening between us doesn’t let me speak.

He starts to circle my clit, and another moan escapes my lips. The grip of his other hand tightens on my back, and my breath hitches when he stops circling to line up his dick to my pussy.

He slowly plunges in, and it feels so marvelously full that I arch my back in pure reinless pleasure.

I start to grind my hips, and this time he’s the one moaning—it’s so fucking sexy, I grab his jaw in my hands and pull him in for another searing hot kiss. His tongue in my mouth, his hands roam my back, I ride his dick with slow deliberate moves, and all these sensations become overwhelming.

So, I pull from the kiss, and Cain growls again—his wolf part almost touching the surface, making him even hotter than before. Primal.

He lays me down on my back and starts moving faster, deeper, harder… He puts pressure on my clit again and I moan and writhe under him. He smirks and slows down with his strong thrusts, denying me my release for now. I both hate and love him for it.

He pounds, dragging every move, driving me crazy with desire. We are both panting and moaning, and slowly lose contact with reality. There’s only me and him and how deliciously good his tongue feels on my nipple, breast, neck…

He starts kissing the spot where his mark should be one day, in the distant impossible future. And oh Goddess, I no longer know what is going on, just the pressure of the building up pleasure. I reach my peak harder than ever—his mouth still latched on the nape of my neck and I’m on a complete high; slowly realizing that my muscles are clenching around his throbbing cock, and Cain’s sharp teeth are grazing my way-too-tender skin…

Teeth?

I shoot my hands up to my neck, and he pulls away enough for me to see the blood running down his elongated canines.

“No, no, no! What did you do?” I desperately touch the trace of his teeth on my skin, a warm sticky sensation on my fingers confirming he bit me.

He marked me .

“No, no, please, no,” I’m sobbing with a realization that no matter how long I plead, he will never be able to take it back. “No, no, what did you do? Cain, what did you do?”

I will never be able to reject him now.

I can’t reject him anymore!

I feel cold and empty—he must have stood up. I don’t care. I put my hands over my face and cry even harder. I don’t care. I hear him coming back and then feel some warm, wet towel rubbed on the skin between my thighs. I don’t care. I cry, and I mourn my plan, my life, and myself.

My cries turn into quieter sobs one more time, and I start to register Cain’s movement again. He is cleaning me. I don’t look, my eyes still hidden under my palms, but I can hear the water pouring over some metal bowl. He is rinsing the cloth. I concentrate on that sound and stop sobbing.

“Are you in pain?” he asks with his husky voice, and I shake my head ‘no.’

He puts the cloth where my neck meets my left shoulder and starts rubbing his mark.

Mark. I start quietly sobbing again.

“Shhh, Asher, please, stop crying,” his voice seems softer than usual, and I try to stop the tears.

I am trying, for real, but failing miserably at it.

I hear the dull splash as Cain puts the cloth away. I feel him laying down along me, and soon he pulls me into his warm embrace.

I let him, because paradoxically, as my true and marked mate, he’s probably the only thing in the whole world that can calm me right now. The problem is, he has to calm me after what he did—ending my only safe exit from this fucked-up situation.

I’m getting so mad I want to scream. I don’t, though. I hit his chest with my fist instead. He catches my hand in his and kisses me roughly. Then he rolls us over, so I’m once again pinned underneath him.

I look at his dark hair almost brushing my face, and at his handsome features that are now lit only by the silver moonbeam. The Moon Goddess is mocking me.

“Why are you so upset, little mate?”

“I’m not your mate,” I practically spit. He pins my wrist over my head, showing me who is in charge here .

He is. It’s always him.

“Not true mate, no, but chosen mate, yes.”

If he only knew how wrong he is…

“We don’t love each other, it won’t work,” I’m in denial now.

He smirks at me again, and I miss the times when he tried to look imposing and cold for me almost all the time. Because I love that smirk too much.

“It did work, it’s already healed.” He nuzzles the biting with his warm nose, and my skin tingles under his touch there.

“No, it’s not!” I’m still in denial.

He lifts his head and releases my wrists. My hands go to my neck. There’s no blood anymore, no festering wound, just… a subtle scar. I’ve never had a scar before, no matter how deep the wound was. It feels like a thin crescent moon, and another one mirroring it.

“It’s golden, do you want to see it?” he asks, looking at my terrified state with slight amusement.

“I don’t,” I shake my head.

Not now at least , I don’t want to cry again. I bite my lower lip.

His eyes look… hurt? I’m not sure. He averts them like he can’t stand looking at me.

I reach his cheek with my palm, and gently move his face back to me.

“You are mad, too,” I realize.

“You held on to hope you’d get back to your true mate, didn’t you? That’s why you are mad at me, for blocking it from ever happening.”

He’s so jealous and so, so wrong.

“I’ve never even dared to plan to leave you,” I say the comfortable truth.

I still want to tell the truth whenever I can, because I will have to keep these pretenses for the rest of my life now. If I have to believe the lie—I’m not his true mate myself—then I will believe it. Whatever it takes to have a long happy life, even if I’ll be scared in between.

He looks at me for a long time, but I don’t falter.

“Life with me is not enough, when you know somewhere else, you already have someone who is perfectly tailored just for you, is it?”

I shake my head, and another tear is threatening to spill.

“No?” he asks sarcastically, looking every inch like the Ruthless Rogue Alpha he truly is.

Something in this whole situation tells me deep inside, that Cain just wants me to choose him over anyone else.

“No.” I shake my head. “You are enough. I don’t need anyone else. I… I don’t want anyone else. I just… you just bonded us for life in front of the Gods!”

More than we already were, but he doesn’t know that. He can’t ever know that. Oh my Goddess, someday, he will know that. He will feel that, and I’m doomed.

I’m so fucking doomed.

“Why are you so afraid of this?” Cain is already more tuned to my emotions, and he marked me barely minutes ago.

Or was it hours? I don’t know, but it’s already dark—only a full moon lending us light, mocking me like its Goddess.

I was supposed to reject Cain under this moon!

Either way, there is no point denying I am afraid, I just need to find other valid reasons to be. There’s a lot of them, so I start talking, “Maybe you are not cheating on me yet, but someday you’ll start, and with this mark, you’ll literally break my heart, and—”

“Stop.”

“Why?”

“Just stop.” He exhales deeply. “I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want some mate. I want you. I chose you. You are my Luna now, and I can and will break you and your bones, but I will never break your heart. Never, I mean it.”

It feels like it’s already broken . I realize, somehow I still got my heart broken today, even when I’ll never have a chance to reject him to save my life.

I start sobbing, because why not? My face is already puffy and wet and probably all covered in snot. My princess etiquette teacher is rolling in her grave.

He slips down my body and puts his head on my chest. It’s a little bit heavy, but his weight rests on his elbows on both sides of me so I can breathe.

“I would kill for some avocados,” he admits randomly.

“What? Why?” I laugh through tears, because it’s such a ridiculous thought to have in this situation.

“I don’t know, I just like them… I don’t know why they randomly popped into my head right now, I have not eaten them in like two years. Too much war to even remember to order them.”

I wipe my face with my hands.

“ Can you order them? I miss my daily avocado toast breakfast.”

He props himself up to look at me, surprised.

“Wait, you used to eat avocado toast every day ?”

“Mm-hmm!” I nod.

“Oh fuck, that’s the dream,” he rests his head on me again. “Now I don’t know why you even agreed to this marriage. I have to step up.”

I chuckle and turn my head to the dark forest. Trees are rustling, but I can’t hear any animals. Even the tiny ones are hiding from the huge predator I’m hugging right now. They know better than I do.

We are snuggling on the blanket, naked, for what feels like a very long, but surprisingly comfortable time—with his body giving me all the heat I need, until I’m finally ready to get back to reality.

I pat his shoulder, and he stands up without asking what’s going on. We just start dressing up and cleaning after the picnic, without exchanging a single word.

When he puts everything we used inside by the doors, I lean over the railing on the patio.

Our patio.

“Is it really yours? The house,” I ask skeptically, when he comes back.

He rolls his eyes, probably irritated by my choice of words when he already told me it’s mine too—but doesn’t comment on that, just nods.

I can’t wrap my head around the fact he has a normal house. We have a house. We are married, of course, it’s mine too, I get that. And he made it clear he wants me to be involved in it… It’s just weird for Alphas, who usually reside in their packhouses. I never dared to entertain the thought of having my own space someday.

Cain grabs the railing outside my hands, caging me between them and his broad chest.

“Are you okay?” he asks, and nuzzles my neck again. “Can we go back?”

I can feel his tongue tracing his mark on my skin, but I choose to ignore this tickling sensation.

I take a big breath. “It was a good, and very romantic date. I have to give you that.”

“You don’t have to lie. I know you hated it. You hated the marking.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I say, turning around in his arm-cage to face him, and fist his shirt. “It was just… I don’t know. It was very overwhelming and emotional, and I wasn’t exactly ready. That’s all.”

I give him a soft smile, making him roll his eyes.

“And technically speaking, it was romantic too,” I admit, when I can look back at it more calmly.

He smiles. “Admit it, it will be hard to beat it when you plan for marking me. And I wasn’t even planning it, so I win either way.”

I cross my arms and look up at him.

“You want me to mark you?”

Technically, it isn’t needed to complete the bond, only to show off to other werewolves you are taken and unavailable. Why would he want that ?

“Why not?” He looks into my eyes, “We are already bonded for life, we would both feel the… betrayal. And everyone will know that we have a bond looking at you anyway, it’s not like I can… hide it or something. Plus, you have royal alpha blood, don’t you feel a little bit territorial?”

“Wait, is that why you marked me? Because you felt possessive?”

“No, definitely not, my ego is too big to have a problem with that. No, I…” He looks lost while searching his brain for an answer.

That makes me wonder. Does Cain just want me to choose him, too, or is he already feeling the true mate bond but not realizing it yet? How much time do I have before everything will come crashing down on me?