Page 77 of Rival

Grunting, I open them in time to see my father jab a fat finger toward the other side of the horse barn. “Shit’s over there. I’ll show ya.”

His heavy feet land on the rickety steps until he’s stumbling toward the barn. He must have been drinking while I was outside because he’s swaying slightly as he makes his way through the cluttered yard.

“I’m gonna want to talk more about this. I thought you didn’t want me. That’s why I said what I said. But if you do…” He lets the rest of his meaning float between us, his eyes studying my face closely.

Swallowing down my nerves, I open my mouth to tell him I think I’ve started seeing someone, but my father’s shout ends our conversation.

“Over here, Fin!”

Sighing, Griffin takes his hat off to shove a hand through his hair, then slams it on hard. With one last look, he points a finger at me. “Not done talkin’.”

Yes. Yes, we are. Like a terrified rabbit, the moment he turns, I scurry away and run into the house to hide away in my room.I don’t move until I eventually hear his truck start up and drive away, then let out a long, slow breath.

My phone buzzes under my hand and I open it, thinking it’s another text from Mason. A clash of disappointment it’s not and excitement that it’s actually Jaxon, wars within me.

I need to talk to Jaxon, too.

What are the rules here? Am I loyal to the last person I was intimate with? Do I owe Griffin a conversation, a chance to see if maybe I was right and there was more between us? What about Mason? Is it fair of me to just stop what we’ve been doing when there’s no warning beforehand? I don’t know what the normal rules are in these types of situations.

Idoknow I want more of Jaxon. But I also worry I’ll find myself regretful if I don’t have some sort of closure with the other two.

My father’s words calling me a whore rattle through my head and eat away at my conscience.

I’ve had sex with three different men in the span of like, ten days… Oh God. Am I a whore?

Another buzz forces me to read my messages, the newest from Jaxon. I’ve never had this much communication with the outside world and it’s jarring to have people wanting to actually talk to me.

So, I was thinking… Maybe we could cut out a little early tomorrow and get another riding lesson in? If I’m not mistaken, Noir’s been in a bit of a mood ever since he saw you last.

Unless you think you need another day or so to… Well, to be blunt, recover. I just want to spend some time with you without little ol’ Ruth staring us down, thinking she knows secrets. lol

Before answering him, I read the unread message from Mason.

Maybe I should put you over my knee for not answering, but I’ll let it go this time. Let me know if you need anything while I’m gone.

Answering both of them, I sigh and turn my screen off, then lay back on my bed. My eyes fall to my side table whereThe Count of Monte Cristorests, unread since the last night Griffin was here.

Reaching for it, I open to the page we left off and read a few paragraphs, but I can’t bring myself to turn to the next. It doesn’t feel right to continue without him.

Another wave of guilt hits me when I open my phone and send a text to Griffin.

Three men in one day. I am a whore, aren’t I?

If anything, I want to finish our story.

I’d like to finish our story as well, and I’m not just talking about our book.

I find myself rubbing at my chest once more, my heart feeling like it’s going to stop mid beat. Running my free hand over the open page of our book, I wonder what Jaxon or Mason wouldthink about Griffin and I curling up in my bed while I read to him.Would they like that too?

Snorting a laugh, I shake my head at myself. Mason probably wouldn’t. He’d curl his lip and ask, “The fuck is this shit?” but Jaxon I could see stretching along my other side and murmuring, “Next chapter, sweetheart.”

I freeze, a new vision of myself lying between Griffin and Jaxon as I read, Mason sitting at the end of the bed grumbling, but listening anyway. Maybe with little Bonnie purring and stretched out in his arms.

A fresh wave of tears makes their appearance, and this time I let them fall.

There’s no way they’d ever be okay with it… and my father would never allow it.

Chapter Thirty-Five