Page 34 of Risky Match (Royal Spies #1)
“Huh?”
“Never mind. I’m going to talk to him now.”
“Don’t you want to give him more time to cool off?
“I’ve got to deal with him now. Wish me luck.”
“You’ve got this.”
I cross the hall to Blake’s room. I hesitate. Should I knock? If I do, he might turn me away. I can’t risk that. I knock and simultaneously turn the doorknob.
The room is pitch black. As my eyes adjust, I spot a human-shaped lump splayed across the bed.
I listen carefully, trying to detect his breathing pattern. If he’s sleeping, I’ll come back later. Fortunately, his breathing isn’t that regular, so I quietly venture closer to his bed.
He’s lying on his stomach unable to see it’s me, but he’s not asleep.
I whisper, “Blake, I’d like to talk.”
“Not now,” he grunts.
With him just home from the hospital, the timing is terrible, but I must have this conversation now. Otherwise, the mission will be at risk. In what I hope is a conciliatory tone, I say, “I’m truly sorry, but this can’t wait.”
“Say what you must and then leave. I need rest.”
“First, I can’t let you ruin Fausto’s reputation. We all ate the food he prepared. He didn’t poison you. When you’re feeling better, please apologize to him. Will you do that?”
“Ugh. He doesn’t speak English, so he doesn’t know what I said.”
“Whether someone could understand you isn’t the issue.
You unfairly slandered him in front of others.
Besides, anyone would have understood the gist of your rant.
It’s important to his reputation and to me that you let everyone know it wasn’t Fausto’s fault.
I’ll be happy to translate an apology for you.
He doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. ”
“Fine. Now leave.”
“I’ll leave, but I need to clear up one more thing.
I know your dream has been delayed again.
You’ll have another chance next year. On the other hand, I probably won’t.
I’m asking you to stay here and play our second-round doubles match in two days.
Your doctor said you’re able to play, so you don’t have a real excuse to quit.
In addition, it would mean the world to me. ”
“I almost died. Someone poisoned me. Why would I put myself in danger again?”
“It was probably an accident. Why would anyone want to harm you?”
I can’t share that he was likely poisoned on purpose. Besides, it wouldn’t do him any good to know that. While I feel guilty lying to him, I have no choice. There’s too much at stake.
“Maybe they wanted to make sure I didn’t win.”
“It’s hard to believe one of your competitors attempted to kill you merely to keep you from winning. Even if that were true, then you’re safe now. They would want you out of singles, not our matches. No one pays nearly as much attention to doubles, much less mixed doubles.”
“You’ve played here now. It’s not as if we had a chance of winning. As you said, I’m not an experienced doubles player.”
Mr. Grumpy is here in full force again. I understand his disappointment. He’s also dealing with the fact he just faced his mortality firsthand. I’m not sure how I would feel in his situation, but I certainly hope I wouldn’t be rude and obstinate with the people I’m close to.
“I know we don’t have a real chance at winning the tournament, but we played well as a team.
And this is my one chance. Whatever happens, it should be decided on the court, not by us walking away.
If we lose, I can accept that. But it’s important to me that my time at Wimbledon lasts as long as possible. I need you to do this for me.”
He closes his eyes, wiping them with his fingers. In a soft voice, he admits, “I don’t know if I can. I’m not ready to go back out there.”
I should have known. He’s afraid he’ll have a panic attack on the court. I feel like a heel, forcing him to do something that could crush him. Yet again, my mission and my heart are at odds.
“At least think about it, and let’s talk again in the morning. Good night.”
I walk out of his room, softly closing the door.
I’m conflicted. I wanted to tell him that this isn’t my fault. I’m not his enemy. But if he’s guilty of smuggling, then technically, we are on opposite sides.
I also wanted to call him selfish for not wanting to play, but am I the selfish one? I’m demanding he fulfill my dream when his was crushed.
I remind myself that the mission requires me to encourage him to stay, but I also want to continue competing. What kind of person am I to push someone who almost died to go back on the court in two days?
I reassure myself that his medical doctor signed off, and his sports psychologist actually recommended that he keep playing. But they aren’t the ones guilting him into continuing. I am.
This is the first time a mission has made me face this type of dilemma.
Prior to this one, I merely collected information for our intelligence officers or passed something for them.
This is an entirely different experience.
Our training didn’t prepare me for the ethical and emotional tradeoffs I’m encountering.
It makes me wonder if I’m really cut out for the Covert Royals.
In addition, I thought Blake cared for me. He’s the only guy I’ve given a real chance to in a long time. That’s over though. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t want me in his support system. Even worse, he’s willing to trample my feelings without a second thought.
From here on, the only things that matter are my country’s interests and my tennis career.
Why does that hurt so much?