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CHAPTER 4

BEAR

Deciding to untie him, I didn’t mention he was tied with licorice strands. There was always a chance I’d need to tie him again later. I’d have to get more candy the next time I went out. Ryan seemed to be struggling with something, something I hoped he would share with me. His lips moved during his internal struggle, and it was sexier than hell when he pouted or licked his lips. Seeing him taste a sour patch on his bottom lip, he looked as if he couldn’t decide whether he cared for the taste or not. I could always offer to lick it off for him.

Of course, that would scare him off at this point. While his internal struggle was in progress, I was battling my own thoughts, doubts and demons.

“There’s my act of faith, though my demons are kicking me for releasing you. Please, don’t decide to run and prove them right.” I said it in one breath, forgetting to breathe during my speech. After exhaling a long, slow, deep breath I felt a little less anxious. Watching Ryan sit still with only his lips moving had my doubts at full force.

It was hard but I knew he needed a moment to compose himself and process the information, as was his character from observing him.

“Ryan, please say something. This silence is elevating my stress levels.” I was trying to be sensitive to the situation I had placed him in, however, my needs needed to be a consideration.

Ryan

His stress levels? WTAF! I’m about to out myself to a stranger who kidnapped me- and he’s stressed? Ryan almost snickered at the irony of the situation, but hid it behind a cough.

“Look, what’s your name?” There were many reasons to know that piece of information.

“Flint though most just refer to me as Bear. You know, with my size, gruff voice, and being a hairy, gay bear of a man.”

When Flint smiled, my heart actually flipped a few times. This was something very real and new to me. He did make me smile at that. There was no way I could not smile. Flint really was adorable. Maybe I needed to keep an open mind. After all, he did save me and took care of me, outside of the bondage thing.

“Here’s the way I see it, Flint.” As most called him Bear, I wanted to stand out in his mind. “You released my bonds, so tit-for-tat. I’m going to share something about me that I haven’t ever shared. As you’ve guessed, I am gay. That’s a no-brainer. While I have had a boyfriend or two, I never really developed a bond with them beyond friendship. The reason, I’m fairly certain why I don’t is the fact that I am demisexual.” I closed my eyes and took a breath. Even saying this out loud was taxing to say the least. I opened my eyes and continued,

“I don’t feel that instant emotional or physical connection that some people are able to do. I need to have a close emotional response to the person. His eyes, mustache or butt, on first impression doesn’t work. For me, the true connection with another person is building and sustaining that trust is the key to unlock me and that has never happened.”

Bear

Ryan had unloaded a ton of information on me, but I had to ask,

“Ryan, are you saying you were, or are a virgin?” Now it was my turn to get tongue-tied, so to speak. Just what was I supposed to do with this knowledge if it was true?

“I wasn’t trying to have that conversation, but yes.” I could feel the blush creeping up my neck ‘til the tips of my ears were hot.

“Flint, do you have anything to eat? I don’t think I’ve had anything to eat in awhile.” I had to change the subject or die from my true confessions. Besides, the growl in my stomach being answered by the growl from his confirmed he hadn’t eaten either.

I nodded my head no, even though I kept a stocked pantry, simply because I needed a break to digest this information.

Tying him up wasn’t something I wanted to do. My basement was soundproof, only tiny shatterproof windows at the top of the wall for light. I could lock the door. The stereo was upstairs and piped music down to the basement. Something light to listen to, maybe I’d make him a cheese/fruit tray when I got back. When we got around to the food subject, then I could bring him something substantial.

“I’ll be back with some fruit and cheese after I run a quick errand.” There was no way I was going to say exactly how long I would be gone. Even though he had shared mountains of information, I had the gut hurt feeling he would still leave me if he had the chance.

“Fruit and cheese sounds good. I’m not a picky eater.” Ryan clamped his mouth closed fast, biting his tongue and almost slipping up that his brother was a picky eater. “That’s fine, thanks.”

I nodded and went upstairs, locking the door behind me. Locking Ryan in was better than tying him up, or at least that was what I was trying to convince myself. I turned on the music, looked in the fridge and pantry, making a mental note on anything I might need. The main thing was the shoestring licorice in case he needed or wanted to be restrained. I’d only be gone around thirty minutes.