Page 89 of Ride the Lightning
“Oh, shut up,” Felix said, slapping Jonah on the arm. “I saw him pull into my driveway ten minutes ago. I figured maybe he was avoiding me as long as possible, but here you are and still no Major.”
“Major?” Avery asked.
“It’s Rocky’s first name,” Jonah said. He didn’t repeat the rest of the story Rocky shared with them because it wasn’t his to tell.
“Ah,” Avery said. “I don’t want to be in the way, so I can duck outside while you guys record.”
“Nah,” Felix replied, waving off his concerns. “I have excellent editing software. I’m thinking about turning a spare bedroom into a recording studio. It wouldn’t take too much to soundproof it.”
Jonah nodded. “It’s a good idea. Let me know if you want my help.”
Rocky knocked on the screen door before Felix could respond. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “This damn case is going to make me lose my mind.” He hooked an arm around Avery’s neck and pulled him into a bro hug. “Hiya, cutie.”
“Hi,” Avery replied shyly.
“You lost your mind a long time ago,” Felix countered, leading them into his dining room where his recording equipment was set up. “Are you still working the same cheating spouse investigation?”
“Yeah, but Pete and I are about to shake things up. It dawned on me that the husband is potentially sending me on a wild goose chase for his own nefarious reasons. I’ve never had a client refuse to accept proof their spousewasn’thaving an affair.”
“Wow. Nefarious. Nice vocabulary, Major,” Felix said.
“Aw, shucks,” Rocky replied, slipping into an exaggerated southern drawl. “I heard the word last night when I was watching The Straight Shooter’s segment on the nightly news. He uses those fancy words and sounds so smart. I looked up the meaning and decided to use it the first chance I got.”
Felix tensed and glowered but didn’t remark on Rocky saying the name of Felix’s nemesis in his home.
“Like one of those word-of-the-day calendars,” Avery suggested.
Rocky nodded. “Only Jude Arrow is so much better to look at than any calendar. Don’t you think so, Felix?”
“I fucking hate you,” Felix growled.
“You’re crazy about me,” Rocky countered, hooking his arm around Felix as he’d done with Avery. “Not as much as you like Jude Arrow though.”
Felix danced out of the embrace and pivoted to face Rocky. He drew his fists up in front of him and bounced on his feet like a boxer. “Those are fighting words, Major.”
“The only one fighting anything here is you, pal,” Rocky said, grinning wickedly. “Just admit you’re jonesing for Jude.”
Felix took a swing, but there wasn’t much power behind it, so Rocky had plenty of time to duck. He landed a soft jab to Felix’s stomach before the reporter brought his hands up and clapped both sides of the private investigator’s head, missing Rocky’s ears by mere inches. They danced around each other for a few more minutes, taking lousy swings and landing harmless punches.
Avery watched with rapt attention the two men’s faux fight for a few minutes before looking up at Jonah. “Is this how your recording sessions always go?”
“It’s not usually this bad,” Jonah replied. “They’re just really showing their asses for you, I guess.”
Their voices must’ve reminded the two scrabbling men that they weren’t alone because they immediately froze in place. Rocky had Felix bent over in a headlock and the fist he’d used to give noogies stilled on top of Felix’s head. Felix’s fist was still pressed against Rocky’s stomach from the blow he’d just landed. Both men just stayed locked in their positions for a few seconds before recovering.
Rocky was the first to move. He unhooked his arm and straightened to his full height. “We can’t seem to help ourselves.”
“We’ll try harder to behave,” Felix added as he too stood up.
Rocky turned and faced Felix, extending a hand. “Truce?”
Felix reluctantly shook it. “Truce. Just stop sayinghisname. He’s my personal Voldemort.”
“You started it by calling me Major.”
“It’s your name.”
Rocky released an exaggerated sigh. “You know how much I don’t like it.”