Page 17 of Ride the Lightning
Jonah just stared at him for a few moments. “Travis is your stepbrother?”
Kendall grinned wickedly. “Uh-huh.”
“So, how long have the two of you, um…”
“Been fucking?” Kendall asked nonchalantly.
“Yeah,” Jonah replied.
“We fooled around when we were in high school, but it never went beyond mutual hand jobs until we were adults. I think Travis was a college sophomore by then, and I’d just graduated high school.” Kendall looked at Jonah and smiled. “You should see the thunderous expression in your eyes. Travis didn’t take advantage of me. Not then, and not now. I knew what I was getting into, and I was the one who invited him back here last night, all the while knowing he could never give me what I want.”
“Which is?” Jonah asked.
“I don’t want to sound like some stupid sap, but I want to be the most important person in his life.” Kendall closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “He’s so deep in the closet, J. I don’t think he’ll ever truly see the light of day. Even if he comes out to his family and coworkers, he will never pursue a relationship with me.”
“Why not?” Jonah asked.
“For one thing,” Kendall said, “he’s the kind of guy with big career aspirations and banging his stepbrother would be frowned upon in any social circle.” He smiled sadly at Jonah. “And even if that didn’t bother him, my lack of education and my side hustle at The Cockpit embarrasses him.”
“You’re studying to become a paralegal,” Jonah said. “How does he know what kind of establishment The Cockpit is if he hasn’t seen the sexy aviator uniforms in person? He sounds like the typical self-hating, closeted gay.”
“Uniform?” Kendall asked. “It’s a pair of booty shorts, a mesh crop top, aviator glasses, and a pilot’s hat.”
“And you wear them so very well,” Jonah said, smiling fondly at the memories of the night he met Kendall at the club. “Back to my point. How does he know about the uniforms?”
“You think you’re the first guy I fucked in the back seat of a car during my dinner break, Jonah? That’s the kind of guy I am, and it’s not what Travis will be looking forifhe ever comes out.”
“You’re worth so much more than you think. Someday, you’ll find a guy who helps you realize it.”
Kendall reached over and squeezed his hand. “You deserve the happiness you insist on denying yourself. Someday, the perky intern will help you realize it.”
“You think so, huh?” Jonah asked drowsily.
“I know so.”
Jonah sighed. “Won’t be today.”
Kendall pressed a cool hand to Jonah’s cheek. “That’s why we have tomorrows.”
Jonah knew all too well they weren’t guaranteed a tomorrow. “Maybe,” he said, leaning his head back against the couch and closing his eyes.
The next thing he knew, his alarm clock was blaring. Jonah reached over and turned it off. The motion created a jolt of pain in his skull. What the fuck had happened to him? Was he involved in an accident? His mouth was dry and tasted horrible. What was that noise? Was someone singing?
He cracked one eye open and regretted it immediately. The room started to spin, making him nauseous as fuck. Jonah recognized the symptoms. He had a fucking hangover, a condition he hadn’t experienced in a long time. He usually exercised more control and could handle liquor better than this. What the hell was that screechy racket? Itwassomeone singing. Then Jonah heard the water running in his bathroom. Someone was singing in his shower. Who? It hurt to think, but he tried anyway. It had just been him and Kendall at home last night. They’d eaten Chinese food, drank excellent bourbon, and talked. Another recollection followed the first. And then another. Kendall helping him to the bathroom to throw up when he’d woken from his nap on the couch. Kendall pressing a cool rag to his forehead and cheeks. Kendall kissing his forehead. Kendall tucking him into bed, and Jonah reaching out to stop him before he could walk away.
“Stay,” Jonah had begged.
“This isn’t a good idea,” Kendall countered as he pulled back the covers and slid between them.
Oh, God. What had he done?
The shower shut off and the singing got louder. After a few minutes, Kendall walked out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel and a joyful smile on his face.
“Oh, God. What did we do?”
“You don’t have to sound so goddamned stricken right now,” Kendall said, placing his hands on his hips, nudging the towel a little lower. “You also don’t have to imply I’m the kind of guy who sexually assaults another while he’s too drunk to give consent. I might be easy, but I’m not sleazy.”
Despite everything, Jonah’s lips twitched into a semi-smile. Just that little motion reminded him of how miserable he felt.