Page 30 of Ride or Die (The Body Shop #5)

Locating Anunit, I verified her travel plans. “What about you?”

“I too will ride in the box,” she decreed, pausing. “Unless I can ride in the Harrow?”

“The box it is!” I heard her chuff as the magic drew her into safety. “That’s everyone.”

The spell held spirits in stasis, so the three of them would simply rest in their own little bubbles, separate from each other, until I opened the lid to release them.

“I’ll put them under the front seat.” Matty handled the container like it was a bomb one good shake away from blowing, but I doubted the Suarezes minded the extra caution after the week they’d had. “Josie?”

Arms loaded with snacks and bottles of soda, Josie slid into the front passenger seat and strapped in.

Matty had absconded with my keys earlier, and he flashed them on his palm. “Climb on in, Mary.”

Had I done the math, that once the back bench was folded down to make a bed it only left the two front seats up for grabs, I would have grasped the fact I had to ride next to Kierce.

Normally, I would have been jumping for joy, but this time…

“Don’t overthink it.” Matty slung his arm around my shoulders. “He won’t mind sharing with you.”

“Yeah.” I got over myself. “You’re right.” I tipped my chin up while I was at it. “He needs to be monitored anyway. Just in case.” I poked a finger into his chest. “Do not hurt my baby.”

“I would never.” He slapped a hand over his heart. “I’m a responsible driver.”

“Mmm-hmm.” I glared a threat at him. “For the next nine hours and change, you better be.”

“Don’t worry.” Josie winked at me. “I’ll pinch him if he starts falling asleep.”

As soon as he slid behind the wheel, I drew up my courage and rounded the back of the wagon.

The truth swirled through me, making it hard to convince myself I had a right to lie beside Kierce.

His past and my truth had collided, and I was still nursing wounds from the blast.

Had he not opened his eyes and extended his arm toward me, leaving me no choice but to take his hand or confuse him further, I might have stood there debating with myself for hours.

“Come on,” he rasped, tugging gently until I placed a knee on the pallet beside him.

There was no point asking when he wouldn’t remember what had left me skittish, but I couldn’t stop the words tumbling free. “Are you sure…?”

I caved under the slight pressure of his hand and pulled the rear door shut as I lay down beside him.

The engine roared to life, and Matty guided us out of the garage and onto the street.

Kierce studied me, his face a collage of bruises, and his swollen lips twitched the faintest bit.

“You think I’ve already forgotten.”

Halfway to upright, I gasped when he slid his arm around my waist and pulled me down to him. “I…”

The commotion agitated Badb enough that she leapt onto the front seat and settled in her cat bed.

“I won’t have them for long. They don’t linger.”

Josie, bless her, cranked up the radio to drown out our conversation, but that made it harder to hear Kierce, whose voice was a raspy ruin from screaming.

With a quick prick of my finger, I enclosed Kierce and me within a circle to give us privacy.

“Dis Pater told me he sealed your memories.” I gripped his wrist. “Are you in any pain?”

“We don’t have much time.” He rested his head against my hip as if it were too heavy to hold upright any longer. “I might only get to say this once, and I won’t lose the opportunity.”

A knot formed in my throat, and I couldn’t swallow past it. A nod was the best I could offer him.

“I remember Dinorah.” Dull grief filtered out into his expression. “I remember Berchem.”

Cracks fissured my heart as he unburdened himself, and tears wet my eyes. “I’m so?—”

“I haven’t been Berchem in…a long time. Even though his life flashed through my head, it felt more like a story I was being told than anything that happened to me. His life hasn’t been mine since Dis Pater appointed me Viduus. I can mourn what Berchem lost, but I’m not the same person I was then.”

“Yeah. No.” I fumbled for a response. “Who would be?”

Silver eyes gazed up at me softly. “I love you, Frankie.”

“I…” Buzzing filled my ears until I couldn’t hear what he said next. “You…?”

“I love you.” He stroked his fingers over my hip. “I wanted to tell you while I’m of sound mind, if not sound body, so you won’t doubt me later.”

“But…” I couldn’t breathe for the dig of his fingers into my skin. “How can you love what I am?”

“Easily.”

“What if it’s her?” A sob got trapped in my chest. “What if she is what you see in me?”

“Despite who it belonged to, despite how it was used, it’s only a bone, Frankie.”

The horrors of my origin filtered through my mind, unrelenting. “It’s not only a bone.”

“Poor choice of words,” he soothed me. “I only meant that the person I am now, and the person you are now, are not Berchem or Dinorah. Their stories—their fates—aren’t ours.” He tucked me tighter against him. “You asked me to choose, and I choose you, Frankie. I will always choose you.”

“You chose another before me, and eternity is just getting started by my watch.”

“An eternity I intend to spend with you, by you, growing and changing with you. If we must evolve, then we’ll evolve together. Forever warps people, convinces them to break their promises. I trust you to hold me accountable, to anchor me in whatever comes next, and I want to do the same for you.”

Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. “You’re sure?”

“All this time I was searching for answers, I was looking for you.”

“I’ll forget Berchem soon.” I touched the tack in my arm. “Neither of us will remember him.”

He would slide into history, but Dinorah would live on for us, as Anunit’s daughter and as a part of me.

With Matty and Josie acting as our personal historians, protecting us from a past that would only bring us pain, we could learn to respect the boundaries of our minds. To keep Kierce, it was a small price.

“You’ll remember me, who I am with you, and nothing else matters.”

“Ankou told me this isn’t your original form.” I toyed with a button on his shirt. “Will you keep it?”

“Yes.” His lips pulled to one side, his hand flexing in front of him. “It feels like me.”

“I wouldn’t have cared either way, but I do have a tiny crush on this version of you.” As I wriggled lower, his arms encircled me, and I tucked my head under his chin. “I’m sorry I couldn’t free you.”

“The crypt was a humbling experience.” A wry laugh moved through him. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“I’m sorry you had to experience it.” I set my palm on his chest. “I got so fixated on wresting you from Dis Pater, I neglected to consider the ramifications of unblocking your mind after you’ve spent so long under his rule.

” I stroked my thumb over his heart. “The crypt was my fault, and I apologize for it.”

“Dis Pater never would have given me unfettered access to my memories if you hadn’t forced his hand. Without those moments of clarity, you would have always wondered whether I loved you…or her.” He covered my hand with his. “It was worth it for me to give you the answer you deserve.”

“There’s an answer you deserve too.” I tipped my head back, putting us nose to nose.

“I didn’t let myself think it. I didn’t let myself feel it.

I thought I could shove it down, push it back, but losing you again broke me.

It was nothing like the first time Abaddon took you from me.

” I shut my eyes. “I realized when I saw you in the cage?—”

“Naked.”

“Kierce.” Spluttering a watery laugh, I fought the burn in my cheeks. “I’m baring my soul here.”

“I bared a lot more than my soul.”

Head in my hands, I hid from his teasing when I finally got around to the point. “I love you.”

“You decided this before or after?—?”

“Oh, my God.” I curled in on myself. “Who are you, and what have you done with Kierce?”

The man had a dry sense of humor that had slowly been emerging along with his possessive streak, but I wasn’t prepared for this…this…blatant flirtation. Freed of his shackles, even for a short while, had ripped another of his seams open, exposing more of the real Kierce.

“Mmm.”

Being the real Kierce must have used up all his energy. I could only watch, warmth filling my chest, while he drifted off into a restorative rest. Happy to snuggle into him, I curled my fingers into his shirt and held on as soothing darkness claimed me.