Page 12 of Ride or Die (The Body Shop #5)

With precautions in place, I pushed to my feet and started toward him, my heart breaking as he reached for me through the bars. The urge to reach back, take his hand, tingled in my palm, but I resisted with an ache that moved through me like that bolt of lightning.

Hot. Bright. Damning.

There was no sign of Badb, who might have clued me in to his mindset, and that churned nausea too. He would never forgive himself if he hurt her, but I had no way to call her to me. I could only wait and see if she came to investigate once she heard our voices and realized we had caught up to her.

Please, God, let the reckless bird have reached him in one piece.

As well as Badb knew Abaddon, I wasn’t too concerned, but I wouldn’t be easy until I set eyes on her.

“Don’t let me touch you.” He didn’t lower his arm, just rested his forehead against the bars. “I can’t trust that I won’t hurt you.” He curled his fingers into a fist. “You shouldn’t have come. I’m not in control. You should have left me here to rot.”

A trail of warmth rolled down my cheek. “Did you want to hurt me?”

“No,” he growled, whipping his head toward me. “Never.”

“Then that’s what matters.” Relief slid between my ribs, making it easier to breathe. “You’re not responsible for what Dis Pater forces you to do.”

“I almost killed you.”

“Eh.” I sniffled to hold back fresh tears. “I’m tougher than I look.”

A second strike of lightning might have barbecued my cerebellum, but I probably would have survived it. That was the whole point of killing me, right? So I couldn’t die. Again. I would just be zapped back to…

Huh.

I wasn’t sure where I would go if I were injured to the point of requiring Abaddon to heal me. I wasn’t even sure that was a thing for demigoddesses, and I had no one to ask unless I broke my promise and hunted down my divine parent for answers. Answers that would further complicate my life.

Happily, I had other options.

With the Alcheyvāhā as my allies, and their magic in my soul, I had more than enough power to draw on to heal myself.

As long as I could reach one of their burial grounds.

Which meant I really had to work on my teleporting until I learned whether my ties to their lands would summon me back there on autopilot.

“Why are you here?” He clenched his hand into a fist, I hoped not to better envision choking me. “Abaddon is too dangerous. I’m too dangerous. You should go home, where you’ll be safe.”

“As long as Dis Pater is holding a grudge against me, I’ll never be safe. Neither will my family.” I shored up my courage, hoping I wasn’t making a mistake in admitting it out loud to him. “I have to kill him.”

“Frankie, no.” The bars groaned as Kierce gripped them in his fists. “You can’t kill a god.”

“Maybe not.” I drew in a long breath. “But Ankou seems to believe you can.”

“Me?” A furrow pleated his brow. “Why would he think that?”

“Trust me when I say you’ve killed gods once,” Ankou said, “and you can do it again.”

“Trust you?” Kierce rammed the bars with his palms until a hard crack sent Ankou scurrying back. “Who in their right mind would do that?”

“Frankie will never be safe as long as your god is out there.” Ankou remained tucked behind me. “She’ll never be safe with you as long as he’s out there either.”

“Give us a minute.” I waved him and the others away. “I want to speak to Kierce alone.”

“Take one step closer,” Josie threatened me, “and I’ll wrap you in vines next.”

“I’ll behave.” I watched them give us space then regroup before facing Kierce.

“I don’t understand how it all works.” I picked at my thumbnail.

“I know Dis Pater can tell you to go places you don’t want to go and do things you don’t want to do.

I’m sure he can probably make you say what he wants too.

” I swallowed against the tightness in my throat.

“Things with us didn’t feel…scripted…to me, but I didn’t realize Armie wasn’t real, so clearly I’m not the best judge of character. ”

“Frankie…”

“I don’t want to chase you if you don’t want to be caught.

” I ignored the prickle in the backs of my eyes.

“I don’t want to convince myself there’s something between us if there’s not.

” I tore my nail to the quick with a hiss.

“Tell me you care about me the way I care about you, and I will never stop fighting for you.”

“I can’t ask that of you.”

“I wasn’t done yet.” I lifted a finger, hating the slight tremor. “Tell me this was all him, and I’ll let you go so he quits using you against me.” I lowered my arm. “Tell me the truth, your truth, and we’ll figure out the rest together.”

“I want you more than I have ever wanted anything for myself, but?—”

“No buts.” I scrubbed my face as stupid tears spilled down my cheeks. “Are you in, or are you out?”

“I’m out.” He braced his shoulder against the bars. “I can’t be freed. I’ll only hurt you again.”

“You’ve hurt her enough telling her you care about her and then expecting her to leave you,” Josie, who made no apologies for eavesdropping, threw up her hands in frustration. “Idiot.”

“We have a plan to keep Frankie safe,” Ankou called out, just as guilty, “but it requires you to suffer.”

Head bowing under the weight of details as Ankou heaped them on him, Kierce stared at his hands.

“Well?” I craned my neck to see his profile, hoping to read his expression. “What do you think?”

“It might work,” Kierce allowed, eyeing Ankou with speculation. “Do you have a god bone to spare?”

“We have everything we need.” Ankou covered for me to avoid explaining where we came by our surplus bone. “It’s your call, Kierce. Make it. Be selfish for once. Otherwise, you’ll lose Bijou forever.”

“I just want her to be happy,” he said, his voice cracking on the last syllable.

“Get over yourself, Birdfriend.” Josie throttled a frustrated scream, clenching her fists near her face.

“Do you know how rare it is to find someone you like, who likes you back? Someone who is honest with you? Who cares about what’s best for you?

Who would bend over fucking backwards to stay with you? ”

That last bit felt directed more toward Carter than Kierce, but Josie was on a roll.

“Josie,” I warned, not wanting him to cave under the pressure and regret it later.

“You know why you and Frankie are a match made in heaven? Neither one of you believes you’re worth the effort. You put your lives on the line for others, you sacrifice your own happiness at every turn, then you refuse to let anyone return the favor.”

“She’s right.” Harrow ran a hand over his head.

“You don’t want to make my mistakes, Kierce.

I thought I was protecting Frankie from my uncle, and I let her go.

You see how that worked out. I cost myself years that we could have spent together, but I decided I knew best, and I lost her.

I chose to lose her.” He gave Kierce a moment to soak that in.

“Frankie is an amazing woman. She’s worth paying any price to keep.

” His lips hitched to one side. “Things might have shaken out differently if I had realized that sooner.”

An ache throbbed behind my breastbone, but time had dulled its edge until it no longer cut as deep.

“I’ve always considered love a vulnerability.” Carter kept her eyes off Josie. “Relationships are complicated. Distracting. They make you question your sanity. They put you at unnecessary risk.”

She fell silent, and we all stared at her, waiting for her to finish her thought.

“Usually there’s a but there.” Josie frowned at Carter. “You list the bad things and then you say but …”

“No.” Carter materialized a bag of cheddar puffs and proceeded to stuff her face. “That was it.”

“When the gods of man stole my mate from me,” Anunit said, “I slaughtered my way across continents.”

“I would slaughter my way across continents—” Kierce locked gazes with me, “—for you.”

Of all the shared anecdotes, I shouldn’t have been shocked that the person who got through to him was Anunit while he was in this primal state.

But I would be lying if I denied the burst of warmth flushing my chest over his murderous declaration when I felt the same. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be standing here.

“And so you have, love.”

Shock jolted down my spine, and I whirled to find the omen gliding over our heads.

Damn it.

No wonder Badb hadn’t been waiting with Kierce. The crow I saw earlier wasn’t her. The omen had been stalking us, and my rescue team’s arrival had merited her racing to report to her master.

Now she wasn’t bothering to hide and was engaging with us. Neither of those were good things.

“Help me catch her.” Ankou leapt for her, but she flew too high. “She’ll tell Dis Pater we’re here.”

A solid and rather final sounding click rang out behind me, and I spun to find a crow wing hanging out of Anunit’s mouth. The rest of the bird was still whole—and alive—inside her jaws. I couldn’t scrounge up an ounce of pity for her. The omen was no friend of mine.

First she taught me how to mark a soul for Dis Pater to collect, resulting in my death.

Then she urged me to eat the fruit from the divine apple tree Ankou grew to sow dissent among women living in Commune Doom, the ones who stole the Alcheyvāhā bones and kickstarted the avalanche that snowballed into the mantle of guardian of the divine beasts falling onto my shoulders.

Whatever she wanted now could only spell more trouble. For all of us.

“Well.” Ankou blinked as the wing grew still, then shook off his surprise. “Problem solved.”