Page 21 of Rhett (The Swift Brothers #3)
CHAPTER TWENTY
Tripp
A fter Rhett gets rid of the condom, I wrap my arm around him, needing him close. I have no idea how late it is, and while I’m tired, especially after that orgasm, I don’t want to sleep. Sleeping means I’ll miss time with him. I’ve never felt this way about someone.
This night is going to change things. I’m not sure what that means for us or Meadow or anything else.
“You okay?” I kiss his shoulder. I wonder if he’s having doubts about anything we’ve done. It’s not every day a person sleeps with a man for the first time.
“Honestly?” he asks, and my heart drops.
“That would be preferable, yes.”
“I’m better than I’ve ever been.”
My heart finds its place in my chest again, banging so hard it nearly steals my breath. “All from my ass?” I ask, trying to keep the mood light.
“No. From you.”
Yeah, it’s official. I’m fucked. So totally fucked and into this man. “Jesus, baby.” I grab his face and pull his mouth to mine. We lie there, lazily kissing and touching, for five minutes? An hour? Eternity? I don’t even know, but then I pull back because I need to look at him.
“I don’t want to go to sleep,” Rhett says.
“I don’t either.” I climb out of bed. “Come on.” I hold my hand out for Rhett, and he takes it. I lead him into the bathroom, where I have a huge, deep tub. “We’re two big guys, but I think we’ll fit. We just might have to get close.” I wink, though it’s cheesy as hell.
I turn on the tub, then get a washcloth and wipe the dried cum off myself.
“I think that might have been the biggest load I’ve ever shot,” I tell him, and Rhett chuckles.
Once the tub is full, I climb in and spread my legs to make room for him. “You coming or what?”
“I just wasn’t sure where I’m supposed to go.”
“Right here.” I lightly splash the water between my thighs.
Rhett cocks a brow as if unconvinced but gets in.
“Relax. Have you never taken a bath before?” Chuckling, I pull him down so his back is against my chest.
“Not with another broad, six-foot man, no. Can’t say I have.”
“Me neither. We’ve been missing out.”
He relaxes further into the water, into me, and I’d like to think it’s because of what I said.
“This is nice.” I drop my head back and close my eyes.
“Yeah, it is.” He dances his fingers up and down my legs. “I see a therapist,” Rhett blurts.
“Okay…” I’m not sure what he expects to hear. Does he think there’s something wrong with therapy? “Meadow does too, as you know. And when she first told me that I was wrong about her and that she’s a girl, I went to therapy for a while. I wanted to work through what I thought that meant, my feelings, and how to be the best dad for her through it. Therapy can be a really good tool.”
“It’s where I came from when we had dinner at the diner in Lillington. That was my first time. I wasn’t sure how to feel, but then you and Meadow came over. She had on the jeans with the butterfly patches. That grabbed my attention because Ella, she loved butterflies.”
So that’s what he meant when he said his favorite months were ones when he saw a lot of monarchs.
“Meadow mentioned going to therapy, and all I could think was, this young girl is braver than me. She knows more about being herself than I ever will, and that made me want to keep going.”
I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I felt as close to another person as I do with Rhett in this moment. Not because I relate to what he’s saying, but because of who he is, because he’s trusting me, sharing with me. And because he clearly feels the connection to my child that she feels with him too. He sees her, how special she is, and I can’t explain what that does to me. It doesn’t feel like it could be real.
“You’re brave, Rhett.” I kiss his temple, feel like my words aren’t big enough for who and what he is.
“Am I?”
“Yes. Fuck yes. We don’t all figure everything out on the same time schedule. That’s not how being human works. And the fact that you’re making changes at this age shows how brave and strong you are. It’s not easy when we’re already set in our ways.”
He nods, still touching and holding my legs. “I want to be better. I don’t want to be like him. Morgan, East, they have a real life. I want that too. And I want a better relationship with my brothers.”
I want him to have every one of those things, but beyond that, I just plain want him—all of him. Every day, all the time. “You’re incredible, Rhett.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
“Then I’ll go that far for both of us.”
He chuckles softly, but there’s no real humor in it.
“Thank you for trusting me with that,” I tell him.
“I’m not sure there’s a damn thing I wouldn’t trust you with. I don’t know how this happened, but it’s bringing me to life.”
If there was any question how I felt before, there’s none now. My heart nearly bursts with feelings for this man…with love for him. I want him in my life, always. “Ever since April left, I haven’t been willing to take a chance on anyone, but I’d take every single chance with you.” Every risk. He’s worth it.
Rhett’s breath hitches.
“Maybe soon we can tell her about us. When you’re ready.” It’s wild how I haven’t been ready until this moment, but right now, I’ve never been surer about anything.
“Soon,” Rhett says. “Just…not yet. I don’t want to mess up and hurt her.”
“You won’t, but the fact that you care means the world to me. Toward the end, it wasn’t like that with April.”
He tenses slightly, and I figure talking about the ex-wife of the man you’re in a relationship with—and currently naked with—is probably a little awkward.
“What happened with the two of you? I know she left, but…”
My stomach twists, but Rhett has shared so much with me. I want to do the same with him. “April is one of the most fun people you’ll ever meet.”
“I already don’t like this conversation,” he teases, and I chuckle, wondering if he can feel it vibrating through him.
“You’re fun.”
“Do you know me?”
“Hey, none of that. There’s never been a time when I’m with you that I don’t have fun.” He might not believe it’s true, but it is. “And while fun can be a good thing, there’s also a time and a place. I didn’t notice it as much until our child was born. I did notice things before—losing jobs, quitting jobs, wanting to go out all the time, but we were young, so it didn’t matter. When we became parents, things were supposed to change. April struggled with that. She always wanted me to ask my parents or Archer to take the baby so we could go out. If I was at work and she was off, I’d come home to find she’d brought the baby to one of them. We thought maybe it was postpartum depression, but she saw more than one doctor, and that didn’t seem to be the case. I just don’t think she was ready to be a mom.
“It caused a lot of fights because I would want both of us to stay home, and she’d get upset. She’d go out a lot without me. Sometimes things felt better, sometimes worse. We’d go on picnics or trips and feel like a real family, but most of the time, it felt like it was just me and my kiddo.”
“I’m sorry,” Rhett says.
“It is what it is. Still, I thought we were okay. I wanted us to be okay. A few years went by, and we found a way to make it work. My parents…I guess I always hoped to have a relationship like theirs. I wanted it to last. We were actually in a good place when she left. Meadow was five, and things had started to calm down some by then. But she just didn’t want to be a parent. Didn’t want to be married. She told me that one night, then kissed her child goodbye and left. She was in Florida the last time we talked. It’s when we were finalizing the divorce.”
“Jesus, Tripp.” Rhett leans up a bit and turns to look at me.
“Like I said, it was for the best. I blame myself sometimes. I wanted a family so badly. I don’t think I pushed her, and she never said she didn’t want to get pregnant, but looking back, I can see that she never had the same excitement about it. But then if none of that happened, I wouldn’t have my daughter. I can’t imagine a world where I don’t have her. And I think it’s better that it happened when it did. I don’t know how April would have reacted when Meadow shared her truth. I would never want something negative to be tied to that.”
Rhett turns around completely, his stomach against mine. It’s awkward in the small space, his legs bent, and a little water splashing over the edge. “You’re the best father I’ve ever known, the best person I’ve ever known. You make me want to be better.”
“Come’ere.” I grab his face, pull him closer, and fuse our lips together. We kiss until the water gets cold, then dry off and climb into bed.
We talk about life and work and just…everything. We blow each other again, Rhett coming in my mouth and me against my stomach when he pulls off, not quite ready for that.
We don’t sleep all night, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that I’m in love with him. I don’t know what I’ll do if I have to live through losing him too.