Page 34 of Reunion

“Hopelessly.” I wet my lips, which were suddenly as parched as my throat. “I still am.”

16

Cole

Istill am.

Oh my god, Dane was going to kill me. I was going to melt right where I was standing into a puddle, leaving the too tight jeans and the best sweater I’d ever felt on my body puddled on the floor. The sincerity in his eyes made my next inhale sound like a shudder.

My fucking hands shook. “I had no idea.” None. Zip. Zilch.

“I chickened out. I was terrified of what you’d say. What you’d think. You had a girlfriend, and there’d never been any obvious signs that…” Dane winced. “You have no idea how many times over the last decade I regretted it, how often I thought of you. Constantly. It was constantly, Cole.”

I deflated. “God, I feel even worse now, because I shut you out.”

“No,” he said firmly. “I caught you off guard. I get it now. I went about everything all wrong, and then I took it as rejection even though I hadn’t even given you a shot. It wasn’t fair.”

“You started dating that other guy almost immediately, so I just thought… I don’t know what I thought. My reaction was terrible. I wasn’t remotely supportive, and I never blamed you for not wanting to be around me much anymore, but I fucking missed you because…” I stole a deep breath, the ache in my chest swelling. “I loved you, too. I wasn’t ready to acknowledge my own sexuality yet. I chickened out, too, and by the time I figured it out, it was too late.”

“I know, and that’s okay.”

“No it’s not—we could’ve been…”

Dane put a finger to my lips. “Maybe that’s the way it was supposed to happen, though. And I’m not telling you all of this as some attempt to convince you to stay here rather than go to New York—or anywhere else for that matter—because I want you to know that if you take that job and still want to be together, I’m more than willing to make it work. I have a shit ton of air miles with your name on them.”

“Be quiet, Dane.”

He ignored me. “I’m saying it because I didn’t want you to leave again without knowing how I feel about you.”

“I’m not taking the job,” I told him matter-of-factly, a grin breaking loose at his perplexed expression.

“You’re not? Wait, why not? It’s a great job.”

“It’s a contract job, and if I’m going to do a contract job, I’d rather find one closer to the man I’m in love with. If this is my second chance, there’s not a goddamn thing in the world that’ll tempt me to waste it.”

Dane bumped his forehead against mine, and for a second we were silent, only the quiet inhales and exhales of our breath moving between us.

“I thought you were about to say that if I moved away, we shouldn’t see each other anymore,” I admitted. “I was about to freak out because I’ve never felt more comfortable with a person, never been moreintoa person. I can handle a three-hour drive on the weekends, but I don’t think I can handle being any farther from you.Fuck.” I rubbed my cheek against his shoulder. Maybe he wouldn’t notice the dampness.

Dane’s fingers slid along my jaw and gently guided my gaze up to meet his. He swept his thumbs tenderly below my eyes, then brushed a soft kiss over my lips that had my breath hitching all over again.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, and then he pressed his lips together. But I saw the smile beneath anyway as he said, “Do you want my handkerchief?”

“Goddamn you and your handkerchief. Do you seriously have a handkerchief with you?”

Hetskedme and removed a square of cloth from his jeans pocket.

“That’s so fucking weird. Give it to me.” I reached for it with a laugh, but he yanked it just out of reach and stuffed it back into his back pocket.

“Come get it. Then I’m taking you out of this zoo for a while and back to my place. Because there’s another Thanksgiving feast I’m dying to get to.”

“Touché.”

Epilogue: Dane

Eight months later

Cole laced his fingers through mine and shot me a warning glare as the string quartet cued up.