Page 31 of Reunion
“Do you have any other leads lined up?”
“I talked to Anya back when the merger happened, but Blaine hooked me up with a lead in NYC. So I have options,” I said with false cheer.
“Oh good. That’s great. New York is great, I guess.”
“Could be, sure.” I reached for the notebook on my desk that he was fiddling with and dropped it into a box. “Something on your mind?”
Jason glanced over his shoulder at the closed door, then rested a hip on the edge of my desk. “I was wondering if you might like to go grab a bite or something? Hang out? Maybe have sex? Take your mind off things?”
I almost choked on my tongue, but his expression didn’t change. “You’re serious?”
“I miss you, Cole.”
“Oh god.” I dragged my hands down my face. “You don’t want to do this. Just turn around now and walk back out the door.” I snorted as the lyrics to the Gloria Gaynor song filled my head.
Jason gave me a confused look as he continued. “I think we were pretty good together. It’s been on my mind a lot lately, and I’d really like to try again. I think I…frankly, I think I made a mistake.”
“You didn’t make a mistake.” I eased upright slowly. “Jason, last weekend my boyfriend tied me to his bedposts and dripped hot wax on me. Then he put clothespins on my nipples and balls and fucked me until I screamed. Afterward, we sat naked in his kitchen and fed each other ice cream. Then I fell asleep with cum in my hair while he stroked my back. His sheets were a wreck, and we didn’t wash them until Sunday. And all of it was fabulous.” I pointed a pen at him before dropping it into the box. “You and I were not good together. We were just…I’m not actually even sure what we were doing. Being in a relationship instead of being alone, I guess? I want to be with someone who doesn’t make me feel shitty about what I like. Or dirty. I wish I’d had the courage to say that to you earlier instead of allowing it to make me feel bad about myself. Hell, I wish I’d had the courage to say that earlier before we both wasted each other’s time being completely incompatible.”
Huh. I’d saidboyfriend. Dane and I hadn’t broached that topic in blunt terms, but we’d certainly both made it clear we weren’t seeing anyone else.
“Jesus.” Jason blinked rapidly, seeming undecided between disapproval and dismay.
“Oh yeah, absolutely. There’s been a lot of blasphemy pouring from my mouth lately. So yes, it’s safe to say I’m in no place to try again with you.” I could tell he was trying to tame his horrified expression, but it wasn’t working. He looked like he’d swallowed a rotten lemon.
“You could be a little more diplomatic about it. A simple ‘no, thanks’ would’ve worked fine.”
“The same way you were diplomatic when you said our sex life was boring? Thatwewere boring? Granted, you weren’t wrong. But I’m a lot less boring than I thought I was. And maybe you are, too. Maybe you just haven’t found the right partner who unlocks it for you. Or maybe your perfect partner is someone who truly enjoys douchingevery single timea body part is going to come in contact with their ass.” I waved a hand; I was getting off track.
“Right. Okay then.” Jason hiked his thumb at the door behind him. “I’ll just go now.”
“Excellent idea. Good luck.”
He threw one last bewildered look over his shoulder at me as he exited, nearly bumping into Mindy’s desk in the process, and I managed to hold in my laughter until he’d disappeared. Then it came out in a great gust that made my stomach ache after.
* * *
“Willyou spend Thanksgiving with me—with my family, I mean? Aaron and Shay are actually coming this year, too.” On the other end of the line, Dane remained quiet, and I hastened to add, “Is that too much? Or do you already have plans?”
“No. God, I’d love to. It’s…” He fell silent for another beat. “I’m still caught up in you losing your job. I can’t believe they let you go after all that. Do you want me to talk to the graphics department here and see if there’s anything coming open soon?”
I snorted. “No. I can do that myself, and besides, I told you that position is open in New York. I’ve got my headhunter on some other leads. If Metrotech wanted me, they would’ve offered me a job already.”
Dane made a conciliatory noise. “And I still can’t believe you said all of that to Jason.”
I’d filled him in on Jason’s ill-timed come-on right after I told him about my conversation with Blaine.
“It was a little assholish of me, I’ll admit. But the expression on his face made it worth it. I think. I lost good karma points for sure. I should’ve told him about the flogger.”
Dane broke into a loud laugh. That had been an adventure. One that had ended with me toppling us both off the bed as I came.
“That was entirely my fault,” he said.
“Completely your fault. We need a redo. This time with at least 70 percent more restraining.”
“Possibly eighty. We’ll see how wriggly you are next time.”
But even though I’d ended up with a bruise on my hip, this was precisely what I loved about Dane. How organically the sex was integrated into everything else between us, how we could move backward and forward between innuendo and day-to-day conversation and it wasn’t a big deal. We didn’t go to BDSM clubs or anything like that, but we played with whatever we wanted to when the urge struck. Sometimes Dane would initiate, and sometimes I’d go to his drawers and choose something, ask him how it worked. We fucked against walls or on floors as often as we fucked in a bed. It was a mash of tender and filthy, sweet and brutal, and it was everything I’d always wanted but had had no idea how to find. The prospect of leaving that behind? I hadn’t been able to wrap my mind around it yet. But I needed to. And soon.