Page 20

Chapter Twenty

F inn throws back his shot and pours himself another one. “That’s a silly question.”

“I need you to tell me what you did.”

“All these years, and you never asked anyone?” His searing gaze roams her face.

“I almost died. A hair’s breadth from death.” Her hand strays to her chest again. “Why would I want to relive that?”

I’m drinking my beer in great gulping swigs. I’m not sure I should be here while they’re talking about this. Their conversation is intimate. There’s a buzz between them that takes me by surprise.

“Thought you might have wondered why I never came back.”

“Every day.” Her voice is thick as her eyes fill with tears.

Finn’s tough exterior slips. He pours himself another shot as though drowning himself in alcohol can ward off whatever is still between them. “Don’t cry.”

“I’m drunk. Of course I’m going to frigging cry.” She wipes away her tears and holds out her glass to be refilled.

“I should go.” I glance between the two of them. Chugging back the rest of my beer, I place the bottle on the counter. If I stay, I’m intruding, and I doubt I’d learn anything relevant to my case. Whatever is happening here is based on their shared history.

He stares at me for a beat, and then he focuses on Carys. “I’ll look after her.”

“You okay?”

“I’ll be fine.” She sniffs and fumbles in her purse.

I grab the box of tissues from on top of the fridge and pass them to her. She gives me a grateful half smile before turning to Finn.

With a brief rub to her back, I head out of the kitchen. As I’m leaving, she says to him, “What’d you do?”

I slow to hear his response.

“What do you think I did? I killed ’em, Carys. I killed ’em all.”

It’s not a surprise. Deep down, I knew that had to be what he did. The only logical reason he couldn’t ever return to Ireland would be a crime like that. Still, hearing the way he says it to her, his voice tender and tough, causes a surge of longing to stir in my chest.

When I get to Lorcan’s door, I don’t have to knock before the buzzer clicks. There’s no time for me to collect myself. Why did I suggest cameras?

In his kitchenette, he is pouring a drink. His tie and suit jacket are thrown across a chair. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled to his elbows. “Want one?”

“Not sure it’s a good idea.” My hands skim the paper-thin material of my dress.

“Finn and Carys getting into it out there?”

I frown. “How’d you know?”

“’Cause I know what he did. And I’m old enough to know women.”

Suppressing a smile, I say, “Old enough to know women? That’s a thing?”

Lorcan passes me a glass of whiskey. “Oh, it’s a thing.” He takes a sip of his drink, and he’s so close, the light scent of his musky cologne mixed with notes of mint and oak drifts to me. I could bathe in that smell.

“So he can’t go back to Ireland because he killed the people who stabbed Carys?”

“They got that far, did they?”

I tap a finger to my temple. “A bit of info, and my brains got me the rest of the way.”

“Yeah, McCaffery family. No one in the immediate family—a few people in that circle. Finn can’t set foot in the country.”

“He killed for her.”

“Wouldn’t you kill for someone you loved?”

“Yes.” To put a bullet in the person who killed Chad would be the sweetest feeling in the world. I’d do it a thousand times if I could. With my head cocked to the side, I examine him. “Have you?”

He swishes his drink around in his glass, staring down into it. “First person I ever killed was for my brother.” Throwing back more whiskey, he avoids my gaze.

“For Finn?” That surprises me. They’re so distant now, it’s hard to believe Finn inspired that sort of loyalty.

“We didn’t always hate each other.”

“Must have been before his comment to your mother.”

“After, actually.”

I frown. “Why would you do that?”

Lorcan raises his eyebrows and wanders over to the couch and chairs. “In a misguided bid to win him over.”

Win him over? It was Finn who offended Lorcan and his mother on her deathbed. That’s a powerful sway if Lorcan felt he needed to make amends. It makes no sense to me. Of course, Finn’s idea of winning over Lorcan involves manipulation and underhanded tactics like today’s shootout. The situation is volatile.

I follow Lorcan to the chairs and take the one beside him. When I lower into the seat, our arms brush. The brief contact warms my arm, causing a spike of yearning in me. I stare into my drink, willing my body to sort itself out.

“You’re not going to ask me about it?”

When I look up, his eyes are glassy from too much alcohol but also sincere. “Do you want to tell me?”

He frowns and turns his face away. With his glass to his lips, he takes a gulp of his drink. “Guy was a mechanic at a garage. He was working under a car after hours. I slipped in.” He leans back in his chair. “Music was blaring. I disabled the jack keeping the car up.” With one last swallow, he finishes his drink. “Crushed him like an ant.”

The revelation should shock me, but I’ve seen all kinds. Something like that is nothing, a drop in the bucket. “Was that the first time you saw someone die?” I use a finger to circle the rim of my glass.

“’Twas the first time I was responsible for a death. Not the first time I watched someone die.”

Of course. His mother.

“And you?” He raises his eyebrows.

There’s a lie on the tip of my tongue. It’s a familiar one, but there’s something about him. The softness of his voice, the way he can’t quite meet my eyes makes me want to be real in this moment. “I was ten. Drive-by shooting. I held him in my arms as he died.”

“Ten.” Lorcan’s fingers skim my cheek. “A wee babe.”

I ease my face into the palm of his hand like a cat arching its back for more contact.

“Did you know him?”

“Yes.” Such a simple admission. It’s the biggest truth I’ve given anyone in ages. My heart aches to say my brother, but I can’t. It would blow my cover story.

But he doesn’t ask. Instead, he rubs my cheek with his thumb. “I’d take that memory from you if I could. ’Cause there aren’t any words that’ll make that easier to bear.”

A heavy silence sits between us as he tucks a few stray strands of my hair behind my ears.

“Are you going to Ireland?” My voice is too loud in the stillness of the room.

“No.” With one last, searching glance, he goes to the kitchen to pour himself another drink. “Linking up with the Byrne brothers is only useful if Finn and I keep the organization together. We split, and that venture becomes a nightmare.”

Finn’s earlier request comes back. Do I tell Lorcan about the Zhangs trying to kill me and Antonio? My objective is to avoid a war. Malik would be penned in on the wrong side. No, no, I’m not saying anything tonight. I need a plan first.

“I should get to bed.” I empty my drink and head for the door. “I can let myself out.” This closeness we’ve developed in here needs to end. Outside this room, it’s okay, it’s needed. In here, it’s dangerous.

“Kim.” Lorcan follows me.

I keep my back to him. His familiar scent hits my nose before he gets close enough to touch. “Do you need to put in a code for me to get out of here?”

“What’s the rush?” He ambles up behind me. His newly poured whiskey is cupped in his hand as he leans his shoulder against the wall.

“I’m tired.” To make a point, I glance at the digital clock near his bed. “It’s two o’clock in the morning.”

He comes closer, and his body fills the narrow entrance to his bedroom. He leans across me to punch in the code, and then his hand drops to the door handle instead. “You don’t need a code to get out.” His breath stirs my hair, his lips close to my temple.

“The other night—”

“I was stalling.”

When I glance at him, our faces are mere inches apart. “Why would you do that?” One side of his lips quirk up, and I long to brush the pad of my thumb over his dimple.

“Sometimes I enjoy the company of a smart, tough woman.”

“Is this part of us becoming good mates?”

He searches my face for a moment. “Oh, I doubt that. If we were becoming good mates, you’d have told me you were almost killed today.”

I take a moment to assess his reaction. He’s angry, but it’s restrained. “Who told you?”

“Antonio. You were rattled earlier. You faced down Derry O’Malley the other day without flinching. So I went digging. What puts a crack in Kim’s armor?”

I cross my arms and focus on his bed.

“Antonio was quite happy to tell me about your adventure with the Zhangs.” His jaw hardens. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I stare at him for a moment, wondering which version is the best one to put out there. “Finn set us up.”

“What?” Lorcan growls, his posture tightening.