Page 18

The Dynamic Shifts

He kissed me twice, and each time, a new set of butterflies took flight. The first was just a sweet punctuation to my story, but the second felt different.

It felt like he wanted to give me more, but he held himself back.

Surely it’s the wine talking, but maybe I want the wine to do a little more talking. I’m on my third glass now, and I think a fourth might give me the nerve to do something I never would’ve dreamed of doing a couple weeks ago with this man beside me.

Maybe I want to take this somewhere with him that we’ve never gone before, and maybe I want that to happen tonight.

I set my hand on that huge quadzilla thing he has, and a deep, dark ache has me clenching my own thighs together.

What the hell is going on with me? Is this because he’s in a tux?

No .

I know that’s a dumb question the moment the thought forms in my brain, though the tux certainly isn’t hurting anything.

It’s him. It’s Miller Matthew Banks. It’s the way he cares for me, the way he shows up for me, the way he believes in me.

It’s the way he chooses me, the way he makes me feel like anything is possible, the way he drops everything for me.

It’s more than friendship, and as I think back over the years, I realize he’s always been this way.

Always.

And as I glance over at him with that realization only to find he’s already looking down at me, something changes between us.

The dynamic shifts, and it’s something I can physically feel.

I lean toward him, and I close my eyes as I press my lips to his. It’s our third kiss since we sat down at this table, and while the first two were part of the story I was telling, this is my experimental one.

This is the one that means something. The one speaking to me in a language I didn’t understand before, but as his soft lips press firmly to mine, it’s a language I feel like I’ve known my entire life.

It’s instinct. Pure and simple. And that instinct is telling me that for once, I’m getting this right.

His hand slides along my neck, warm and strong, and I pull back and lean my forehead to his for a beat as I feel a little dizzy, a little unsteady. My hand is still on his thigh, and I have exactly zero intention of moving it.

But then our first course is served, and the heat that was sizzling between us seems to dissipate as I pull back and turn toward my plate. His eyes catch mine first, though, and the heat fires back in full force .

I don’t know if I can eat. I’m nervous and excited as thrills seem to race through my chest.

I want Miller.

The admission is scary, but the way he just kissed me makes me think maybe he wants me, too.

We can be friends who sleep together…right?

Maybe it’ll turn into something more. Maybe I’m not at a point where I’m ready for that, or maybe I’m just realizing I’ve actually been waiting for this for half my life.

Whatever happens, we’ll come out on the other side okay. We have to. He’s my best friend, and I can’t lose him.

But I also can’t go much longer without knowing what it feels like to have him moving inside me, his fist tangled in my hair as his tongue glides against mine.

This is dangerous. So dangerous. I’m risking my heart here when maybe he’s just putting on a really good act.

But as dinner ends and we find ourselves on the dance floor, he holds me close. He drops kisses on my lips. He makes me feel like the only person in the room despite the crushing crowd and the many fans who want just a second of his time.

“Hey, a few of us are heading to a bar once all our obligations here are fulfilled. You want to come?” Tanner asks as he bumps into us on the dance floor. “Spencer and Grace are in, and Spence said Clay, DJ, and Sam are all coming.”

Miller turns to look at me, and even though I’d rather go home with him, I nod.

More time out means more drinks and more anticipation building between the two of us. It means a little more time to build up the nerve to tell him I want a night with those muscular thighs rubbing against mine.

I drink some water to try to cool down, and then we hop into Tanner and Cassie’s car with them as we head to our next destination. Tanner sits up front since he’s the taller of the twins, and while it’s a luxury car, it’s still tight with Miller in the middle between Cassie and me.

“That was fun,” Cassie says, breaking into the silence in the car just as Miller’s fingertips slide between mine so he’s holding my hand.

I look up at him, and he’s looking down at me again.

And holy shit, the absolute fire there makes me glad as hell that I’m already sitting because it’s making me weak in the knees.

I think about tilting my face up so he can catch my lips with his, but there’s nobody in this car we need to pretend for. There’s no reason for me to kiss him other than the fact that suddenly I want to .

With everything inside of me.

With a passion that’s leaving me breathless.

The driver hits a pothole, breaking up the intense moment between us.

He doesn’t let go of my hand, and my brain is trying to reconcile that with the close friendship we share. Tonight, it’s convincing me that this is a good idea—that we have the sort of foundation that will allow us to go the distance.

“Clay told me SDSYS is one of his favorite events,” Tanner says. “I guess it’s top-notch every year.”

Miller and I remain quiet as I shift my gaze out the window.

It doesn’t make the heat feel any less intense, though. I still feel him next to me, hard everywhere. I still feel his warm hand in mine. I still have butterflies flapping around in my stomach.

I still want to kiss him.

We listen as Tanner makes small talk with our driver, and we arrive at the bar a few minutes later. We’re ushered back to a VIP area, and it’s kind of fun being with these pro athletes and getting this top-notch sort of treatment .

I’m used to getting a discount at certain stores with my teacher ID. That’s as close to VIP as I’ve ever been.

Bottle service and roped-off areas and security…it’s all new to me, and it’s a brand-new world that I’m starting to fall in love with already.

And I think it could be because I’m already in love with the man who brought me to it.