Page 7 of Remade (Hillcroft Group #3)

October 5th, 2024

Leighton Watts

I was gonna puke.

I’d never been so nervous in my entire life, and that was saying a lot. I remembered waiting for Mom to come home from the doctor’s with her chances of defeating cancer. I remembered when I got on the bus to head to basic. I had countless memories of waiting for test results, scores, job interviews, bills, if my application to Hillcroft had been accepted, and, most recently, waiting for Bo to get out of surgery.

But this was different. I’d conjured fantasies about my dad’s family since I was a young kid.

I took the elevator down to the lobby, where Ryan waited for me.

He smiled and took a swig of his coffee. “It’s a fine day to meet family, kid.”

I let out an unsteady breath.

“Where’s Beckett?” he asked.

“Bitching to Nurse Tina about sitting his ass in a wheelchair.”

Ryan laughed.

“He’ll meet us in the operators’ rec room,” I finished. I swallowed nervously and eyed the lobby—or the entrance, to be exact.

I’d heard from Tanner that a big window had been blown out in the bombing, something I hadn’t even noticed. But no one could tell anymore. Everything was back to normal.

Yesterday, I’d seen a bunch of guys from a security company called MadCo install a new window and more security, which I remembered because I’d initially read it as Mad Cow. Then they’d been my witnesses when I’d thanked Shay for being a great instructor. He’d been there too, with his partners, and I’d acted without thinking. I’d just walked up and hugged him, followed by an awkward rambling about how he now lived in my head with Crew, Ryan, Beckett, and my dad.

I’d made a complete idiot of myself, but whatever. Shay had been a champ about it.

“By the way, Darius and his hubby made it too,” Ryan said.

Oh shit. That was even more nerve-racking.

“I thought their daughter was sick,” I answered.

“Elise and my wife will watch the kids.” He shrugged. “On that note, you might get to see two sides of Darius today.” He was warning me, wasn’t he? Oh God, it was a warning. “My brother was born skeptical of the world in general—and even though he trusts me with his life, he’s…”

“He wants to see for himself,” I deduced.

He nodded with a dip of his chin. “But once you get past the society-hatin’ hermit in him, you’ll see a good dad with a shitty sense of humor, a great brother, and someone who will always rub it in your face when he’s right. Especially if you try to climb your own roof without a ladder.”

I coughed, torn between wanting to laugh and run away and hide.

That was a very specific scenario.

“Just pretend to enjoy his dad jokes, and he’ll warm up in no time.”

Well—hold on a minute. “I love dad jokes.”

“Yeah, just like that.” He gestured his to-go mug at me.

I huffed. Dad jokes were the best, simplest form of brilliance. I’d fight anyone who disagreed.

He checked his watch. “They should be here any minute.”

Christ.

I took a breath, my stomach twisting with frazzled nerves.

I could do this. Maybe. Mary and James Quinn. Ethan Quinn. Willow Quinn. Darius and…

“What’s Darius’s husband’s name?” I asked.

“Gray.”

Right. Gray Quinn. Ryan had mentioned that Gray would be the easiest one to get to know, along with Elise and Lias. And those two wouldn’t be here today. The hope was for me to visit them around the holidays when I could take time off.

I swallowed nervously. “Um, do I hug them…? Shake hands?”

I was glad Ryan didn’t laugh at me.

“Ma won’t give you an option,” he said. “She’ll hug you. Pop…” He weighed his response with a pensive look on his face. “You know what? I think he will bring out his two-handshake for this. He’ll shake your hand, add a second for effect, and say very little.”

Heh. Good to know.

“Ethan is a mystery,” he went on. “The past few years, he’s been going through a transformation. He’s warmed up a lot, and he’s way nicer than the douchecanoe attitude he adopted in his thirties when he started stressing out about his age.”

Maybe I should take notes…

“Willow will not hug you,” he added. “She will, however, spend the entire time staring at you, only looking away when you try to make eye contact.” He smiled a little, but it wasn’t the happiest of smiles. “This will be rough for her. Jake was her anchor.”

I swallowed and felt my eyes sting already. “And Darius and Gray?”

“Oh, Gray’s a hugger like me,” he said. “If I wanna piss off my brother, I casually throw out that he married a man who’s essentially a younger version of me.”

I was too nervous to chuckle, but I wouldn’t mind being a fly on that wall. They seemed to banter a lot in that family. A lot of good-natured ribbing. I liked that. I’d wanted it for as long as I could remember.

It also had the tendency to make me bitter at times. I mean, my mom had been my world, but even back then, nobody had cared much about family. I’d had my grandparents. That was it. At age seven, I’d started calling my uncle Drunkle Billy, and he’d rarely been welcome at dinners. Aunt Laura hadn’t been a permanent fixture in my life until Mom got sick… I had no cousins.

My mom didn’t live in my head anymore. I’d forgotten her voice, which made me feel guilty. But it was just so damn hard to reconcile her reasoning for not telling me about my dad. I mean, she’d been sick for months before she’d passed. Instead of helping me secure an apartment I could only afford for a few months, she should’ve helped me reach out to the Quinns. But no, she’d just left me to find the information on my own.

I’d been a coward for too long. I didn’t wanna be like her.

I couldn’t unlove my own mom or erase all the great times we’d shared; I was just going down a completely different path now, and she was gone.

“Here we go.”

I looked up and followed Ryan’s gaze, and my stomach dropped at the sight of the two cabs that had pulled in at the plaza. I recognized Ethan first, ’cause I’d seen him the most on Insta. The Quinn dudes were all tall, like six-three or so, and they stood out. In this case, Ethan and Darius. That had to be Gray next to him; they were holding hands until Darius helped what I assumed was his mother out of the other car.

“Christ, Ma’s already cryin’,” Ryan said. “Brace yourself, kid.”

I exhaled shakily and swallowed hard.

That had to be Willow. She was glued to Ethan’s side, and she was wearing headphones.

Darius glanced up at the building, and it looked like he made a face.

“I don’t know what to do with my hands,” I said anxiously. Did they go in my pockets? Just hanging limply at my sides? Did I fold my arms over my chest?

“You won’t have to worry about that for long. Come on.” Ryan gave my shoulder a squeeze and nodded toward the entrance. “I should’ve brought tissues,” he muttered.

“For your mom?”

“No, for me.”

Oh.

Family reunions and videos of service members coming home to their pets, right?

My stomach tightened beyond what I wanted to handle. We were walking closer to the revolving door, and so were the Quinns on the other side. Only, they couldn’t see us yet. You could only see out.

Breathe.

I tried.

The younger generation took care of what little luggage they had and let the older couple walk first. Mary and James. James had an arm around Mary, and she was definitely emotional. She kept dabbing a tissue under her eyes.

They looked to be in their late seventies.

“I don’t wanna bawl my eyes out in the lobby,” I said, clearing my throat.

I didn’t even recognize the guy behind the front desk. It wasn’t Gina or the other two ladies who occasionally sat there.

“You should’ve thought of that before I asked you to meet me here,” Ryan replied.

I shot him a look, but he had his easy smirk fixed on the entrance.

“Maybe you won’t be my favorite uncle for much longer,” I said.

He snorted. “Please. I have zero competition.”

It depended on the quality of Darius’s dad jokes.

I refocused on the others as the revolving door whirred to life, and I sucked in a breath when I locked eyes with Mary Quinn.

Please like me, ma’am.

“I’m not even gonna try to hug her first,” Ryan muttered. “She’ll leave me hanging.”

Mary emerged with her husband, and a new round of tears filled her eyes immediately. Her feet carried her faster, low heels clicking against the floor, at the same time as it looked like her husband had to hold her up a little.

The distance between us disappeared too fast for me to be able to process it, and I stood there frozen in both mind and body. I just registered her falling apart, her blue eyes, her thin coat, the purse she dropped, and?—

“Oh, I see him in you, sweet child.” She let out a sob and threw her arms around my neck. “My darling boy—I see him in you.”

I screwed my eyes shut and broke inside, and I hugged her back awkwardly. Emotions surged forward so quickly that there was no chance I could build up a defense to hold them back. My eyes burned, it suddenly felt like someone was standing on my chest, and my nerves were officially shot.

Mary smelled of a sweet perfume, like you expected old people to.

“Oh, Jake, Jake, Jake,” she wept. “You look so much like him, Leighton.”

I sniffled and clenched my jaw, refusing to make a sound. That tears rolled down my cheeks couldn’t be helped, but I wasn’t going to embarrass myself.

Mary eased back and cupped my face in her hands, and she smiled through her own tears.

“To learn Jake had a son…” She laughed tearfully and shook her head. “He left behind the best kind of legacy.”

Oh Christ.

I blinked hard and inched away to hurriedly wipe at my cheeks.

The best kind of legacy.

She was killing me.

I wasn’t alone anymore?

I swallowed repeatedly, and Mary made room for James, who walked forward and extended his hand to me.

“It’s good to meet you, boy,” he said thickly. As Ryan had predicted, as soon as I grasped James’s hand, he added a second and squeezed mine firmly.

“You too, sir.” I nodded once, unable to speak another word.

I guess I look like you, Dad.

I mean, I’d seen it—some of it. Some of my features. But the rest of the family had decades of memories. A few pictures couldn’t compare.

Mary surprised me with another hug, and a whimper almost broke free. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I needed to get my shit together.

“I can’t wait to get to know you, sweetheart,” she cried. “I’m sure Jake loves you so, so much, wherever he is right now.”

“Okay, Ma—let’s not… He’s overwhelmed as it is.” Ryan cleared his throat and stepped forward. “C’mere, you.” He saved my ass by gently pulling Mary to his side. “Leighton, meet Darius and Gray.”

I coughed and discreetly wiped at my cheeks once more, then summoned all my strength to face the next two. I’d done my best to avoid looking at them because I could only handle one emotional attack at a time.

Gray couldn’t be much older than me. Like, fuck, a few years, maybe? He was way younger than Darius. And he smiled warmly and snuck in for a quick hug.

“It’s great to meet you, Leighton.”

“Thanks, you too,” I croaked. Goddammit. I bet I was all red-faced too.

In the background, I heard Mary ask why I had cuts and scrapes across my face, so I hoped Ryan had a good response.

Darius was…a presence. I met his gaze briefly as he extended a hand to me, and I could see he was affected by all this, but he hid it fairly well. Unless his eyes burned like that on the regular. His jaw ticked with tension, and I shook his hand.

No words were exchanged. He just nodded with a dip of his chin, then backed off, cleared his throat, and faced Ryan. The two spoke too quietly for me to hear, and Ryan nodded and clapped his brother on the shoulder.

“Lemme just say hey real quick, Squeezy,” I heard someone say quietly. It was Ethan, and it brought my attention to Willow. Fuck—she wasn’t happy here. She looked insanely overwhelmed, and she’d screwed her eyes shut. Ethan readjusted her headphones before he turned to me with a brief smile and extended his hand. “Welcome to the family, kid. I’m Ethan. And whatever Ryan’s told you about anything in life at any point is 50% bullshit.”

“Language, son,” Mary chided, moving over to comfort Willow.

“Yeah, what the fuck, little brother,” Ryan said with a scowl. “Watch your fuckin’ mouth. If anyone’s bullshittin’, it’s you.”

“ Ryan .” Mary gave him a look too.

I exhaled a croaky chuckle, sounding like an idiot, and shook Ethan’s hand. “Thank you. Um—” I felt really bad for Willow, so I gestured to her. “We’ll pass our living quarters upstairs if she needs privacy. She can have my room.”

“That’s so kind of you,” Mary replied. “I think that would be best.” She hugged her daughter to her.

“Well, let’s not stand around here and waste away,” Ryan said. “We can head up. I sweet-talked a cafeteria lady into bringing up coffee.”

That sounded good to me. I needed a breather. I needed something to take the pressure off. Also, I really fucking needed Bo.

Ryan took charge and draped an arm around my shoulders on our way to the elevators.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“I haven’t unclenched yet,” I mumbled under my breath.

He chuckled.

I sniffled and wiped away the last remnants of my tears, hoping that was the end of it. I already had plans to fall apart like a baby tonight when I was alone. Maybe while Nurse Tina helped Bo in the shower.

Mary asked if she could take a separate elevator with Willow, so I stepped into the car and tapped my ID card, and then I pressed the button for the second floor before I walked out again.

The rest of us piled into the next elevator, and I noticed Darius eyeing his surroundings.

Was it weird for him to be back?

James cleared his throat and clasped his hands behind his back. “So, the next time you say you’re goin’ off fishin’ for a week…” That was directed at Ryan.

Gray coughed a laugh.

“Like I said, 50% bullshit,” Ethan pointed out. “I bet he planned on pickin’ up a trout or two on the way home.” He did a double take at Ryan, as if he’d just thought of something. “Holy shit, I’m right, aren’t I? When I called you the other day, you said you were on the phone with Madison and couldn’t talk at the moment. You were putting in an order with his uncle, weren’t you?”

At that, Darius let out a gruff laugh and scrubbed a hand over his face.

Who were Madison and his uncle?

Ryan sighed and scratched his eyebrow. “In my defense, I can’t be honest about this side hustle. We all know who our mother is.”

Darius peered around Ethan and gave Ryan a pointed look. “But you don’t need to use my restaurant’s supplier to create an alibi. Find your own fishin’ crew, brother.”

Ryan lifted his brows. “What the fuck? I’m the one who went to high school with him. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the only one who’s got my back right now.”

The elevator stopped with perfect timing for Ryan to just stalk out.

If this was the rest of my life, I was never going to complain ever again. They clearly had stellar banter in that family.

James and I were the last to step out, and he sighed heavily.

“This has been my life for decades,” he told me. “Someone’s always off riskin’ their life.”

Oh boy.

“Luckily for you, old man, Leighton’s job here won’t be dangerous,” Ryan said. “He’s one hell of a logistics coordinator. He’s basically training to handle supply deliveries and coordinate travel.”

Um.

James’s eyes flashed with relief; it was brief but noticeable and genuine, so I didn’t say anything. Ryan would clue me in, right? Since he’d just lied. Like, a big fat whopper of a lie.

“Glad to hear it.” James gave my shoulder a squeeze before heading over to Mary and Willow.

Ryan instructed everyone to go through the library and then up the hallway with a bunch of doors, aka the operators’ units.

Darius knitted his brows. “I think I remember,” he replied slowly. “I spent fifteen years here.”

Ryan was quick with a retort. “Well, excuse me. I wasn’t sure if your memory was selective too, or if it’s just your brotherly support.”

“Just the latter.” With that, Darius walked off.

Okay, this family was wild.

Ryan put his arm around my shoulders again and kept his voice down. “Okay, so. Welcome to the family, Leighton. I hope you can lie well.”

I furrowed my brow.

“When Darius became an operator here, he was initially fairly honest about the nature of his work,” he revealed. “He figured it was no different from what I did in the Marines—and later what Jake did in the Army. And he was right, to a degree. But Ma was worried sick about us already, so of course she worried about Darius too.”

Made sense.

“He toned shit down over the years,” he continued, letting his arm fall to his side. “Nearing the end of his career, he was—according to our folks—just a security guard escorting officials in and out of the country. Absolutely no combat, zero danger.”

Oh. “But James just caught you in that lie.”

“It happens. Maybe you’ll be a good liar, like Willow. Our folks have no idea she’s a free agent with Hillcroft—and it’s going to stay that way.”

“Roger.” I nodded quickly, hearing him loud and clear. “It’s only to prevent Mary and James from worrying?”

He tipped his head, weighing his answer. “That, and to get them off our backs. If Ma finds out you’re training to become the same operator Darius once was, you’ll never hear the end of it. Pop’s easier.”

Okay, then. Logistics coordinator. Got it.

“Understood,” I said. “How bad of a liar are you?”

“Technically, I’m not a bad liar. I’m just lazy in my old age.”

I grinned to myself.

We caught up to the others by the time they were halfway through the hall of dorms, and I opened up the door to my room for Mary and Willow.

“Take your time, baby girl,” Ryan said.

I wasn’t sure Willow heard. She was practically shaking as Mary guided her into my room.

“Is she gonna be okay?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah. Eventually. We knew this was gonna be hard.” Ryan gestured for us to continue down the hall, and I made a mental note to find out how this could be avoided in the future. Or at least, minimized…? I didn’t want her to suffer because of me. “So, are you and Beckett official?”

I glanced over at him, surprised by his question, until he nodded up the hall.

I followed his gaze. Oh—thank fuck. Bo was here already. And the fucker wasn’t in his wheelchair. He stood in the operators’ rec room with a damn crutch, and he was shaking hands with Darius.

That wasn’t enough. Nurse Tina had said he’d need the chair for at least a few days, unless he was taking his super- short strolls, in which case, he’d use the crutch. What Doc really wanted was for Bo to be confined to the chair for longer and do his exercises on a treadmill with handlebars, but he’d muttered something about all operators being too fucking stubborn.

“Um, yeah,” I answered absently.

I frowned as Bo spotted me, and that seemed to confuse him.

A few more feet, and then we were there.

“This is not a short stroll,” I told him. “You were supposed to use your chair.”

He put his arm around me. “The chair and I had an argument.”

Uh-huh. Doc was right. Way too fucking stubborn.

“How are you?” He smiled down at me.

“Not as nervous now as I was ten minutes ago,” I admitted. Realizing Gray, James, and Darius were watching me, I decided to run introductions. Although, Darius and Bo clearly knew each other already. “So, this is Operator Beckett. Or Bo. He used to be my instructor, but then I convinced him to date me instead.”

James was first to extend his hand. “Nice to meet you. What kind of trainin’ do recruits need to become delivery guys at this place?”

Oh shit!

“Logistics coordinator,” Ryan corrected, exchanging a look with Bo.

“Nice to meet you too, sir.” Bo used his good hand to greet James. “Well, to make a long story short, it’s mostly about knowing your vehicles, learning the basics of mechanics, putting together an operator’s itinerary, arranging for layovers and whatnot, and studying various destinations. Our drivers need to get from point A to point B without traffic causing delays and so on. Which—if you’re in charge of getting eight operators to the airport in fifteen minutes—ain’t easy. But don’t let the cuts and bruises on his pretty face worry ya. He’s doing the same drills as many of our regular recruits.”

Holy shit. He just pulled that out of his ass like that?

James seemed appeased by the response, and I let out a breath of relief.

I caught Darius smiling faintly to himself, then walking over to the huge sectional couch to have a seat.

He’d lied like that to his folks too, hadn’t he? He probably had an arsenal of quick replies.

Come to think of it, so did Bo. He’d pulled a fast one on his own mom before they were off to visit his sister’s family in San Diego.

The next one I happened to lock eyes with was Ethan, and judging by his smirk, he didn’t buy the same lies James and Mary did. But that would be because of me and my lack of a poker face, not from anything Bo had said.

I had to work on that.

“But you don’t work in logistics,” James stated.

“Correct, sir,” Bo replied.

James grunted noncommittally, and on his way over to Darius and Gray, he muttered about “Damn kids riskin’ their lives.”

I smiled sheepishly.

Bo chuckled under his breath. “First time I’ve been called kid since my old man died.”

“Yeah, okay. Let’s get you to the couch, pup,” I retorted.

No lie, this was too much for him. He couldn’t hide that he was leaning on me for support.

The cafeteria lady had brought up way more than coffee. There was water, milk, sugar, cream, a few sodas, and cookies too.

Having something to do with my fingers helped, so I prepared one cup for Bo and then one for me.

“Uh, how many sugars was that?” Ryan asked me.

“The perfect amount.” I took a sip of my coffee and nodded in approval. “They have real cream here. It makes me happy.”

The others took their coffee black, and I felt bad for them. They had to lead sad lives.

“Can I ask something?” Ethan sat forward and rested his forearms on his thighs. “Did your ma never know anything about Jake? How to find him, I mean.”

Oof. Okay, so we were jumping right in.

I swallowed and set my mug on the coffee table. “She didn’t at first. She tried to track him down until I was like…eight or nine…? But she had too little to go on.” I’d never know for sure if she’d tried to go the Hillcroft route too. Like, if she’d been here and asked for him. I’d like to think she had, but considering the privacy at this place… “After that, she stumbled across the newspaper article about his death.”

Ryan nudged his knee against Ethan’s. “Do you remember before he shipped out the last time—he mentioned having met someone a few years back in DC?”

Ethan knitted his brows together, maybe thinking back. “It rings a bell. Wait—yeah, because Ma asked him if he was ever gonna settle down, and he said the only person who’d ever come close to making him want that was someone he’d…”

“A woman named Brynn,” Ryan finished.

“I don’t remember hearin’ a name,” Ethan went on pensively. “Fuck, it’s been too long.”

“Well, he told me about her,” Ryan replied. “He said he might go see her again.”

I chewed on my lip, studying the three brothers. Darius may be quiet, but he was taking things in, observing, paying attention. Flannel and jeans on the outside, the never-dying operator on the inside? Ethan was dressed a bit more stylishly, chinos and a fitted pullover, and Ryan was still in utility pants and a long-sleeved tee. Together, they were so clearly brothers, all while something set them apart from each other.

Darius shifted his gaze to me. “What kept your mother from reachin’ out once she had more information?”

Cowardice.

It evidently ran in the family on her side.

“She was afraid,” I muttered. “She left me a letter after she died—said she was afraid I’d follow in his footsteps.”

“A life lesson many parents have learned the hard way,” Ryan murmured.

I guessed so. In an attempt to shield and protect, they pushed the kids away.

Darius eyed me. “How long after did you enlist?”

“A few months,” I answered.

He tilted his head. “Army, I bet.”

“Yessir.”

His mouth twitched. “Leave the sir with Pop. I don’t need another nephew makin’ me feel ancient.”

Nephew. He called me nephew.

“In your defense, Ryan’s brood is wilder than anything I’ve ever seen,” Gray said and kissed Darius’s cheek.

Darius and Ethan cracked up at that, and Ryan straightened and mostly looked proud.

James smiled fondly too.

“You have a brood ?” I questioned curiously.

How many kids was that?

Ryan grinned. “We’re expectin’ our fifth.”

Holy hell. Quinns were gonna Quinn? “Wow. Um, congratulations.”

“To be fair, you’re cheatin’,” James told him. “Your mother and I were alone. You’ll need at least three more since you have an extra parent.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Gray mused. “Most of the time, Angel and Greg are the parents. Ryan’s the sixth child.”

“Truer fucking words,” Ethan laughed.

“Fuck that,” Ryan scoffed. “They know which daddy’s the disciplinarian.”

I shook my head in amusement and turned back to Bo.