Page 1 of Remade (Hillcroft Group #3)

October 2nd, 2024

Leighton Watts

Panic rose further when I heard heavy footfalls rustling through the foliage. In the corner of my eye, I spotted two operators entering our makeshift camp—if you could call it that—and I heard him. Beckett greeted Coach in a less-than-enthusiastic tone.

“The amount of stupid in this situation is off the fucking charts, man.”

“You wanna hash this out now?” Coach demanded. “Just say the word, but you better get your defense in order after what I’ve learned today.”

“What the fuck are you… Quinn’s here.” Beckett’s tone changed. “And…aw, shit .” He didn’t say anything else to Coach; he headed my way instead, and I wasn’t sure that was a good thing when I was seconds away from falling apart. He removed his helmet and came right up to me, then cupped my elbow and ushered me deeper into the forest. “Let’s go.”

“It’s him,” I croaked.

“I know.” He put the helmet on my head instead. “I thought I had time. I thought he was still on watch.”

I sniffled and did my best to stifle a sob behind my hand.

The ground slanted up a little, and we walked over the hill and even farther.

“Christ. You’re not supposed to be here, Leighton.” He draped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed me to him. “When Coach told me how you got dragged into the mess, I wanted to junk-punch him.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” I said, wiping at my cheeks.

“No, I’m sure you volunteered quicker than a bomb can explode outside Hillcroft,” he replied. “Doesn’t fucking matter.” He pulled me to a stop and cupped my face in his hands, and I felt so damn pathetic. I was full-on crying and saw no end to it.

My dad’s brother was here. I’d shaken his hand. He’d asked if we’d met before.

All my memories, fictional or not, hung in the balance, because reality had caught up to me. All the stories Mom had told me, where I was Dad’s wingman, where we went out on adventures together and saved the world…

I screwed my eyes shut, terrified they’d hate me.

Beckett sighed and hugged me to him.

“Can anyone see us now?” I asked hoarsely.

I dropped my water bottle on the ground.

“No.”

Thank fuck. Somehow, I had to compose myself. “When did you find out he was gonna be here?”

“Yesterday.” He removed the helmet, probably deeming things safe, and he pressed his lips to the side of my head. “Shira called him and Crew in after I requested more people with experience in close combat. Most of our operators are out on assignments. And I figured, fuck it, it wasn’t like you’d be around.”

I whimpered, a part of me still in disbelief. Dad’s brother.

In a way, it made my dad more real than he’d ever been.

“Shh…I got you.” He shushed me quietly and held me tighter. “Baby, I think we need to do this now. We have three hours of daylight left before we can… What?”

I was shaking my head and fucking breaking inside, because he couldn’t call me that. It hurt way too much, and it started a new round of pathetic crying.

“You can’t call me that,” I cried. “I was a fucking idiot—Coach knows about us, and we gotta stop. I slipped. And he s-said a senior operator and a recruit… They gotta draw the line somewhere, and he can’t allow it. And I get it. I get it.” I eased away so I could wipe at my face. Fucking hell, couldn’t I just stop crying? I was such a loser! “I know how you feel about relationships, so yeah, I?—”

“Okay, that’s enough.” He cupped my face again, and he made me look him in the eye. “I don’t care what was said or what Coach thinks. We’ll deal with that later, but I’ll make one thing clear, all right?”

I sniffled and peered up at him.

He smiled carefully and kissed my nose. “What you and I do is up to us and nobody else, you hear me?”

I nodded jerkily, drawing a ragged breath. I must look like a lunatic, but fuck me, I needed to hear that. I wasn’t ready to let him go. I wasn’t sure I ever would be.

“Do you wanna stop?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No. That’s the last thing I want.”

He smiled a little again. “Good. Same here.” He hauled me in for another hug, and I squeezed him back, letting the relief pour over me for a moment. The day he decided he’d had enough would come soon enough as it was. “When we get back to Hillcroft, I’mma tear you a new one for worrying me half to death today.”

“I’m sorry,” I croaked.

“Uh-uh. Not enough.” He pressed kisses to my hair and squeezed me even tighter, to the point where it started to hurt to have the Kevlar between us. “We were in the middle of raiding their safehouse when we discovered a second crew involved. And I swear, not ten minutes later, we got the call that a bomb detonated outside Hillcroft.”

Ugh. I just wanted to forget it now. The whole day had been a blur, starting with the horrific sight of Coach throwing that duffel bag right before it exploded.

In the moment, I hadn’t been able to process it.

Beckett let out a breath and inched back far enough to look at me. He brushed his thumbs under my eyes, across some cuts and scrapes along my cheek, and I sniffled for the millionth time.

“So, I hear your uncle’s here.”

Oh God.

“Like I said,” he went on, “we have three hours of daylight, and we can’t do anything until it’s dark.”

And…?

“We’re doing this now,” he said patiently but firmly. “I’ll go get Ryan, and we’ll?—”

“No! Are you c-crazy?” I blurted out. “What I need is to get my shit together so I can pull my weight. The last thing we have time for now is some family drama that makes me weep like a baby.”

He smiled ruefully and narrowed his eyes. “It’s a weep-worthy situation. You’ll have three hours to cry it out. You can shake your head all you want, but I don’t think for a second you can pull it together with him around.”

But what would I even say? I could barely string two thoughts together, much less speak coherently.

The idea of Ryan coming over here put so much pressure on my chest that the coward within me took the wheel. I wanted to grab on to the nearest excuse and fuck off.

“You’re ready, Leighton,” he murmured. “I know you’re scared—and I know why. But you seem to have forgotten one thing.”

I sniffled and glanced at him before wiping at my cheeks again.

He cupped the back of my neck and smiled sympathetically. “You can still get to know your dad. Through them. Through their stories and memories. Their photo albums. They knew him—and they can fill in so many blanks for you that you’ll feel your old man standing right next to you.”

Jesus Christ, that one punched me right in the gut.

My bottom lip quivered and I was downright terrified, but I wanted it. I wanted to see him clearly in my mind. I wanted to know his voice. I wanted to know his opinions, what’d made him laugh, and what music he’d listened to. God, I wanted it with every fiber of my being.

“You wait here, okay?” Beckett put the helmet on me once more and lifted my chin. “If the best time to do something was earlier, when is the second-best time?”

“Now,” I choked out. And I nodded once. Twice. Okay. This was happening.

“Attaboy.” He ducked down and pressed a firm kiss to my cheek. “I’ll be right back. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want. I can do it until you’re ready.”

“Okay, yeah—” I definitely nodded now, ’cause yeah, words weren’t gonna happen. Not so Ryan could understand me.

Beckett walked off, and I blew out an unsteady breath and tried to move around a little. Roll my shoulders, shake my legs a bit, hopefully get rid of the prickling sensations in my fingers and arms.

I’ll never meet you, Dad. But I wanna know the man you were.

I clutched my stomach with one arm and bit at a cuticle.

Fuck, I was so nervous.

My stomach wouldn’t settle, and I still wanted to run far, far away. But when push came to shove, I knew—if they agreed to get to know me—that whatever memories they shared of Dad would be worth so much more than the stories my mom had concocted to comfort me.

Meeting Beckett had made me want something real.

I was ready to let go of my threadbare security blanket.

I exhaled shakily.

Less than a minute passed before I heard voices coming closer. I heard Beckett say something that made Ryan chuckle. And then they were close enough.

“Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad,” Ryan replied.

Fuck, I hoped not.

“Nope, definitely not bad,” Beckett said.

I quickly wiped my hand over my face once more, and I hoped I wasn’t too blotchy and red.

Where was the camo face paint when you needed it?

Ryan eyed me with a curious expression, and Beckett came up to stand next to me.

I swallowed nervously.

“You want me to run an intro?” Beckett murmured.

I nodded, unable to form words.

“All right.” He cleared his throat and turned to Ryan. “First time I met Leighton, he came into Hillcroft because he was looking for his dad, who might’ve applied for a job there. This was about…six years ago?”

I nodded again.

“Right. So, Leighton was eighteen. He’d just lost his mom to cancer. And you could say he was a bit lost.”

“Or a lot,” I mumbled.

“Or a lot,” Beckett echoed. “Thing is, he had very few leads and had no idea how to find his dad. They’ve never met. What he did have was an old Hillcroft business card with my name scribbled on it. But I figured out pretty quickly that it must’ve been my old man. His name was Bo too.”

Ryan shifted where he stood, and he folded his arms over his chest.

“Don’t worry, it’s not you, buddy,” Beckett chuckled.

I did a double take at him, then looked at Ryan, but he just smirked slightly.

Beckett continued. “Leighton’s dad had a name too, of course, but at the time, it didn’t ring any bells for me. All I could do was give him a place where he could potentially get some information.” He draped an arm around my shoulders and glanced down at me. “You ready to take over?”

Ugh. Not at all, but I supposed I should.

I coughed and cleared my throat, and I wrung my hands awkwardly.

Beckett had started me off well enough, but I felt the need to go back further.

“Um. In short, my mom had a fling with someone she didn’t know well,” I admitted. Worst voice ever. A deaf person could pick up I’d been crying. “But later on, uh… I, um… After she died, I learned my dad had died in combat in Afghanistan.”

I chanced a glance at Ryan, and he went very still.

The rock in my stomach grew to the size of a mountain, and I had to get this out before I lost it again.

“His name was Jake Quinn, and I’m sorry I never got to meet him.” My vision became blurry once more, and I sniffled. “If you don’t believe me, I’m willing to do a DNA test or…”

He shook his head stiffly. “Don’t need it.” His jaw clenched, and he scrubbed a hand over his mouth and looked away.

Oh shit. He was gonna tell me to fuck off.

“I want you to know I’m not after anything,” I felt the need to say. “I, uh… My aunt helped me get enough details about him—but I was a coward. I’ve been sitting on this information for a few years now.”

Ryan blew out a heavy breath and turned around for a moment. He ran a hand through his hair and then shook his head before he faced me again.

Did he believe me? Was he gonna get angry?

“I understand it’s a lot, buddy,” Beckett murmured. “You wouldn’t happen to know why Jake would have a business card to Hillcroft, would you? Was he thinking about joining?”

Ryan shook his head again. “He flew out to keep an eye on Darius.” He shifted his stare to Beckett. “He got to know your brother. Vince told him to get his ass back to school, but Jake had this… He couldn’t let go of the possibility of joining the Army like our old man once did.”

“Oh,” I exhaled.

Beckett nodded slowly and let his arms fall to his sides. “If the Army was on the table, it makes perfect sense my brother wrote our dad’s name on that card. He worked at the Ranger School. Like an ‘If you enlist and end up at Benning, go see this guy’ kind of thing.”

Ryan didn’t respond. He was watching me, and his eyes were a little glassy.

I swallowed hard.

“Were you Army too?” he asked me.

I nodded hesitantly. “I wanted to, um… I didn’t know what to do with my life after Mom died, and I-I wanted to feel closer to him.”

His jaw ticked with tension, and he nodded with a dip of his chin. “Jesus fucking Christ.” He cleared his throat and rubbed at his face. “You look like him. Fuck me, you look like him.” He coughed into his fist and kept shaking his head. “He told us he’d met someone, you know. Before he shipped out the last time. He said he’d met someone in DC a few years back, and he was thinking about going to see her again when he rotated home. Was her name Brianna?”

Oh my God, Dad had actually spoken of her? I’d been born by then. Hell, I’d started school! I drew a breath, and tears spilled over. “Brynn.”

He nodded minutely and seemed to struggle to stop staring at me.

It was okay, so long as he didn’t tell me to go to hell.

“It’s a lot to take in.” He sniffled and let out a chuckle, one part disbelief and another part… I didn’t even know. “One second, I can’t believe it and wanna demand proof. And the next…” He gestured at me. “For chrissakes, I can see half my childhood in your face.”

Beckett dipped down and kissed my cheek. “I’m gonna give you two some privacy. You know where to find me.” He knocked two fingers against the helmet. “Don’t take this off.”

I didn’t want him to leave my side, but perhaps it was best? For a moment anyway.

I watched him walk off and wiped at my cheeks.

Before I really had to worry about who was going to carry the conversation now, with the obvious answer being Ryan, he readjusted his carbine to his back, walked over to me, and captured me in a tight hug.

I sucked in a breath and screwed my eyes shut, and something within me cracked.

“Your old man was my hero, Leighton,” he said thickly. “It breaks my heart that you didn’t get to meet each other. He would’ve loved you like crazy.”

That did it. I fucking shattered. I broke into a million pieces, and I squeezed him back as if my life depended on it. I managed to keep the sounds at bay for the most part, but it still mortified me to sob in this stranger’s arms. I mean, he was a stranger, and he wasn’t. He was family…? But it was the first time we’d met, and I’d struggled to express my emotions for most of my life. The past several years, I hadn’t had any emotions at all. Now it was all coming out.

The strangest part was that it had to be the most painless shattering in history. I could feel my heart racing, my chest rising and falling with each breath, elation frazzling my nerves, and my brain going into crisis mode to process everything, but I felt no pain whatsoever. No heavy weight sitting on my chest, no anxiety clawing at me from within, and no fear pulling me under.

Ryan eased back enough to look me in the eye, and he squeezed my shoulder. “This is fuckin’ incredible. Not only do I get a part of my brother back, but I’ll have a new nephew to get to know.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake! I whimpered and wiped at my face. “I’m trying to stop crying.”

“Fuck that,” he said, clearing his throat. “Family reunions always get me. And videos of service members coming home from deployment to their dogs.”

Great, now I was smiling and crying at the same time.

“I can’t wait for you to meet the family.” He sniffled and grinned. “You’re in the middle of your recruit training right now, aren’t you?”

I nodded, still working on the meet-the-family comment. Holy shit, I had family? Were they going to be as accepting as Ryan?

“In other words, I won’t be able to drag you off to Washington at the moment,” he deduced. “That’s fine. You can expect most of them to fly out here instead.”

Oh God.

“I’ve, um…stalked the family a little bit on social,” I confessed. “But you’re kinda private on there.”

He grinned. “We’re the opposite in real life—within the family, at least. You wanna see pictures?”

Yeah, because it wasn’t like I’d been crying enough already.

“Yes, please,” I croaked. “Do you have any photos of Da—um, Jake in your phone?”

His eyes flashed with both amusement and affection. “Dad, not Jake. You had it right the first time.” He pulled out his phone. “I should have some in my family album. My parents’ basement flooded a few years back, and it threatened the existence of precisely one box of random photos, so my wife and sister spent a couple months making digital copies of everything Ma had, including the countless albums inside the house.”

Better safe than sorry.

He positioned himself next to me and went to the album labeled “Family” in his phone, and my stomach fluttered with anticipation and nerves.

“I’ve only seen his official portrait and the grainy photo from the article released after he’d been killed,” I admitted.

“Then you’re in for a look in the mirror, son,” he said. “You have his eyes and his smile. And a bunch of little isms. You did somethin’ earlier when Crew introduced us, and it was so fucking familiar. I think it was your expression when you scratched your forehead—it was just so him. The way you looked.” He shook his head, as if in wonder, and scrolled to the earlier photos. “Oh, here’s one of him and Ethan.”

“The gym owner,” I noted.

“That’s right. He ain’t private on Instagram, that’s for sure.”

I smiled and looked closer at the photo, and then my smile just fell off my face. It’s you, Dad. I swallowed hard. The two brothers stood side by side, and they were grinning and holding up beer bottles. It looked like they were standing on a patio—I could see a wooden deck and a garden in the background. Dad looked to be around twenty or so, and I did see the resemblance. Only, his features were sharper and way more charismatic.

“There should be one of him and Darius after a hockey game,” Ryan murmured. “We used to play every winter as soon as our favorite lake up in the mountains froze. Ma would send us off with warnings and a picnic basket—and Jake would steal some of Pop’s whiskey for our cocoa.”

I rubbed a hand over my mouth and almost got weepy all over again as the picture took over the screen.

“There we go,” he said. “That’s Darius. We were around…fifteen or so here. I think it was the year Jake graduated high school.”

This was already better than Mom’s bedtime stories, and they still meant the world to me.

Jake wasn’t grinning in this photo. He was glaring at whoever had taken the picture, and his front tooth was chipped. Darius was, however, sporting a shit-eating grin.

“He’s smilin’ there, but he wasn’t when we came home and Ma ripped him a new one,” Ryan chuckled. “Money was kinda tight, and going to the dentist didn’t make anybody happy. But to Jake’s credit, he took half the blame and helped Darius earn extra money for the dentist. Those two could be savages on the ice.”

Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, and I couldn’t speak. I just soaked it all up.

I’m getting to know you, Dad.

Now I know you chipped your tooth playing hockey.

“He mellowed out a lot once he started college,” he murmured. “When he came home on breaks and holidays, Darius, Ethan, and I would give him shit for actin’ more like a parent. If he didn’t have his nose in a book, he was runnin’ errands for Ma or tellin’ us to wise up.”

I smiled and sniffled.

I could picture it. I could almost hear him.