Page 39 of Rejected Heart (The Westwoods #5)

LAYLA

“You look like you want the ground to swallow you up. Either that or the couch to take you prisoner.”

I flopped down on said couch, sighed, and rolled my head in my mom’s direction. “I’m reconsidering my plans for today.”

“What? Why would you do such a thing?” She sounded genuinely shocked that I was at odds with the decision I’d made.

I didn’t think there was anything to be surprised by. “I’m terrified. What if Cooper was wrong about all of this? What if I show up there, and Liam asks me to leave?”

My mom laughed.

She actually laughed at me when I was under such duress.

“Well, if that happens, I guess it’ll be merely the worst you can expect. But you have to understand that’s the most unlikely case. In fact, if I were a gambling woman, I’d be willing to bet that Liam will be delighted to see you. Shocked, perhaps, but most certainly delighted.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

I’d come home from the consignment shop one week ago and told my mom about Cooper’s visit and subsequent invitation to his daughter’s first birthday party.

After getting over the shock of learning that Cooper was now a father, my mom didn’t hesitate to urge me to go to the party.

Apparently, she’d taken notice of how sad I’d been ever since the night of the sunset picnic and believed this would be the perfect opportunity to improve my mood.

For some strange reason, I took her advice. I’d gone out and even purchased a small gift for Cooper’s daughter. But now that the day had arrived, now that I should have gotten in my car five minutes ago in order to arrive on time, I was having second thoughts.

“I think you are entirely too optimistic.”

“Of course, I am. I want you to be happy. But it’s more than that, Layla. If you’ve been honest and truly regret your actions from all those years ago, if you wish you hadn’t turned down Liam’s proposal and left Landing, this is your chance to do something about it and make it right.”

With my head resting back on the sofa cushion, I slapped my hand over my forehead and dragged it down the front of my face.

“But nothing went like it was supposed to. I had all these plans to build a career that I’m happy about and successful in.

I wanted to be worthy of him, and I never made it happen. ”

Like she’d been slapped across the face, my mom’s head jerked back, and I’d realized I’d said something I shouldn’t have, something I hadn’t ever admitted to her. “What did you just say?”

I pressed my lips together and shook my head. Maybe she truly hadn’t heard me. “Nothing.”

“You don’t think you’re worthy of being with him?”

“I… I just… I wanted him to be proud of me, and I wanted to know that if he ever left me, I’d be able to make it on my own,” I admitted.

There was nothing but heartbreak and agony in her expression. “Liam is not the same as your dad, Layla. You felt that way all this time?”

The last thing I had wanted to do was make my mom think that she’d given me anything less than the very best she could as I was growing up.

She hadn’t done a single thing wrong but trust that the man she loved would always be there for her.

That was the way it was supposed to be. But it wasn’t, and we’d both suffered for it—her more than me.

“It wasn’t so much that I thought Liam was like my dad.

But I’ve lived that reality, and I guess it scared me to think about the possibility of it happening.

I realize now that it wasn’t fair to put it on him, but at the time, I just wanted to do something to become successful before I agreed to marry him.

I tried so hard to find a way, to find something that was going to be lucrative while making me happy. Unfortunately, I never achieved that.”

She blinked back the tears that had pooled in her eyes. “Maybe because you already found it.”

“What?”

“Maybe the thing you went chasing after was here all along, Layla,” my mom said softly.

“My story isn’t yours. There was never a time when you were with Liam that you weren’t over the moon.

I was so glad you’d found him, and it devastated me when you walked away from him.

He’s not a man who would ever look down upon you for whatever you decided to do with yourself.

Beyond that, you had an idea about how your life would turn out.

Things didn’t go the way you planned, and you can admit that it now feels like it was a mistake to do at least part of what you did.

Realize that for what it is and give up the thoughts you have about what you believe should have happened.

It didn’t. And that’s okay. But what you do now is going to determine whether you finally have the chance to heal from this, or if you’re going to feel stuck and miserable for the rest of your life.

You’re my daughter. I love you. So, I hope you’re going to choose to heal and be happy. ”

I hated to think that she was right. Not about Liam never looking down on me. I think, in a way, I always knew that was the case. But to think I’d destroyed our relationship and kept us apart from one another all those years, when with him was where I was meant to be all along, killed me .

If only I had found that career. Then I would have had something to show for all the heartbreak I’d put the both of us through.

“You really think I should go to the party?”

She nodded, her features softening. “Absolutely. I think you should go and have a wonderful time. And I think you need to stop worrying about everything. Just do what makes you happy.”

I inhaled deeply before the rush of air left my lungs. Then I stood and said, “Wish me luck.”

She grinned at me. “You don’t need it. But good luck.”

Feeling slightly more reassured, I picked up the gift for Liam’s niece, said goodbye to my mom, and left.

By the time I got to my car, the pep talk had worn off, and I was a bundle of nerves and fear all over again.

But I didn’t let that deter me. I drove off to the lake house, doing it in silence and hoping I’d be able to clear my head before I arrived.

It was difficult to come up with any sort of plan for how to engage or interact with anyone when I arrived, since I had no clue what I’d find when I got there.

I suspected some of them were now married, so assuming I didn’t get kicked out by the man I loved, it was likely I was going to be meeting some new people at the same time I got reacquainted with those I hadn’t seen in years.

God, I hoped this wouldn’t be a disaster.

When I pulled up at the house, I wasn’t surprised to see so many cars there. If there was one thing I knew about this family, one thing that I had suspected would never change, it was that they knew how to celebrate, and they did it often.

I parked, exited my vehicle, and began the walk toward the house.

The closer I got, the sound of voices and laughter filled the air.

My heart squeezed as I recalled the times that I’d visited the lake house with Liam years ago.

It had always been such fun, and it was safe to say I was already feeling a bit of nostalgia.

Oh, to have the chance to go back and do it all over again…

Based on what I knew about the Westwood family, it was likely everyone was already outside, so if I went to the front door and knocked, I’d be waiting there a long time before someone would answer, if at all.

So, I moved toward the side of the house, preparing to round it and head into the backyard. Calling it a backyard felt silly, especially when the land seemed to go on forever in either direction and even out for quite a distance from the house until it reached the lake.

I’d always loved this place. Every time I’d come here with Liam when we were teenagers, I thought about how lucky they were to have this property. Liam’s grandparents were the owners, but I didn’t doubt this home would stay in this family for generations.

And the memories they’d make, the memories they’d likely already made, would be irreplaceable.

Slowly, I crept around the back corner of the house, and while the sounds of the family floated in my direction, it was the stunning landscaping that caught my eye first. I’d forgotten how much Wendy Westwood, the matriarch of the family, loved her flowers.

I might have taken longer to inspect the beautiful blooms, if my heart wasn’t pounding at the thought of who I’d spot first, who’d see me first.

My eyes drifted away from the flowers and to my right. I’d taken a few more steps in that direction when I finally came to a grinding halt.

Because there he was.

Liam.

Even though I saw him a few weeks ago, this was different. He was crouched in the middle of the open yard, his arms extended, and Cooper’s daughter was taking unsteady steps in his direction.

For as long as I lived, I would never forget the look of pure adoration and pride in Liam’s expression. Cooper told me that Liam was Roselle’s favorite, and if I had to guess, I’d say he felt the same about her in return.

My free hand flew to my throat, where I massaged it to ease the ache that had formed.

No matter who else was around, I couldn’t tear my attention away from Liam and that breathtaking smile on his face. That was how I’d remembered him.

Happy. Always so happy.

And seemingly without a care in the world.

Cooper hadn’t been lying. Roselle was the only thing that made him genuinely happy these days. I’d seen his mood when she wasn’t around, and it was clear he walked around with the crushing weight of sadness and despair all the time .

Tears filled my eyes.

What had I done? What had I given up and missed out on?

Liam looked like this as an uncle. I could have only imagined the way he would have been as a husband and a father.

At the thought, I felt a heaviness in my chest that forced my breaths to a slower, deeper cadence.

I could have had that. I could have been here at this party with Liam and our own children.

We could have had a little girl with dark, curly hair and those signature blue Westwood eyes who looked at her daddy like he was her hero.

And our son would look just like his dad, and they’d roughhouse the way Liam and his brothers always had.

Oh, God. What had I done?

As I stood there with a gaping hole in my heart, longing for all that could have been, it hit me just how selfish I’d been.

Because not only had I stopped myself from living out the fantasy in my head, but I’d taken that dream from Liam, too.

The regret was unbearable, and the pain of it burned in my lungs.

With encouragement from her uncle, Roselle took those final few steps in Liam’s direction. He caught her just before she tumbled to the ground, scooped her up against his chest, and stood while he kissed her repeatedly on her cheek and neck.

The sound of her laughter filled the air. It was magical.

And then Liam happened to look in my direction.

My mom hadn’t been wrong about at least one thing that would happen. Liam was certainly shocked to see me. I just wasn’t so sure she was right about him being delighted that I was there.

At that moment, I left it up to him.

I remained put and offered a sad smile.

And once he gathered his bearings, never having looked away once, he took purposeful strides in my direction.

I braced myself with each step.

LIAM

The world had stopped spinning.

I had stopped breathing.

When I woke this morning, I had anticipated spending the day with my family as we celebrated my niece’s first birthday. A huge milestone for her; I found I was rather distracted by how much time had passed since she was born.

Time was flying.

The whole world was passing me by.

While I had so many parts of me still stuck in a life that felt like it existed eons ago, everything and everyone was moving on. Changing.

And yet, now, it seemed as though time had stopped. My breath had caught in my chest, and I’d visibly rocked back on my feet at the sight of her.

Although I’d have been lying if I said I hadn’t thought about Layla today, I could confidently say I hadn’t anticipated seeing her here, at my family’s lake house.

But I was mistaken. Because she was here. She was standing there, looking as beautiful as ever, with those captivating eyes and a soft smile.

A sad smile.

Not fear. Not anger. Not even a hint of happiness.

Was it regret I saw there? Longing?

How long had she been watching, and what had gone through her mind as she did?

I would have paid a pretty penny to know what she was thinking.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, I’d have given anything for her visit here to be the one I’d been dreaming of having ever since she’d walked away from me eight years ago.

If ever there was a time not to get my hopes up, this was it. But how could I not? Layla had just arrived at a family event. She wasn’t the kind of woman who’d show up to something like this and do anything to ruin a happy occasion.

Knowing that was the case, understanding it deep down in my bones, I still felt so unsure. Conflicted.

Could I be hopeful?

Should I remain cautious?

I could have stayed like this all day long and never get the answers I was seeking. I might have done it, if only to be able to continue looking at her forever.

But that Layla was even here at all had allowed that promise of something positive to seep in.

So, I did my best to rein in all the emotions coursing through me before I took that first step in her direction.