Page 3 of Redemption (Deliverance Duet #2)

Chapter Two

I know he’s beside me before I even open my eyes, his familiar, heavy presence wrapping around me like a blanket. He’s not even physically touching me, yet I feel safe and protected. The ridiculousness of that thought makes me want to laugh aloud. It shouldn’t be possible for a human to know these things, yet this seems to be exactly what’s happening.

I’m lying on my right side, my head fuzzy from sleep. My dreams were so strange, so real , that it’s taking me a moment to ground myself, not to mention how tired I am, the fog of unconsciousness clinging to my thoughts. I try to move, but it feels like my arm is made of lead, the effort so monumental I stop and try for something easier. I open my eyes, my eyelids fluttering as I adjust to the light. My gaze lands immediately on the male in question.

“Nyx.”

I barely recognise my own voice, the scratchy, dry sound causing a fit of coughs. How long was I asleep, and why do I feel so weak?

He kneels at the side of the bed, rubbing my back as I slowly return my breathing to normal. As my coughing subsides, I look up into his dark eyes and find myself momentarily mesmerised. Yes, he is ridiculously handsome in a bad boy way, but this is the first time I’m actually able to see his face. The room and all my previous thoughts fall away as my focus narrows to Nyx. This feels like an important moment between us, but I have no idea why.

I have an unhindered view of the male I’ve been friends with for over a decade. He has a perfectly straight nose and high cheekbones with a narrow jaw that would give him a feminine look if it wasn’t for his obsidian eyes and strong brow. Dark, day-old stubble covers his jaw, and with the frown he’s currently aiming at me, he looks pretty foreboding. The shells of his ears are pierced in several places, and his hair is shaved at the neck, fading up until the long, finger-length strands stand up in a way that looks messy but probably took time to style.

He wears all black as I would expect, but the cloak of shadows is gone, replaced instead with loose trousers and a fitted button-up shirt, with the top two buttons undone. I take note of the small silver pendant he’s wearing.

Given that I’ve only ever been able to see flashes of his jaw, eyes, and nose, it shouldn’t be possible for me to know who he is, especially as he’s not yet spoken. The male before me is so Nyx that I would have known it was him in any form.

He removes his hand from my back, and I instantly miss the contact. As though he recognises the ache inside me, he brushes his fingers through my hair, pulling it from my face. The back of his hand touches my cheek, and for the briefest moment, everything feels right again.

If only it could stay that way.

Pieces of fractured memories begin to come back to me, and I start to put everything together. Reality hits me hard, and anxiety swirls in my gut.

I was shot on the Seelie king’s order, a person who also just so happens to be the father of my mate, Alaric.

The breath is knocked from me as I think of my mate. Until now, the pain and memories were locked away, as though I was shielded from them. Now that I’ve acknowledged I’m separated from Alaric, however, the emotions hit me hard. A deep yearning fills me, shredding me from within, desperate to find that missing piece.

How is Alaric coping with this? Is he okay? Does he know what his father did? So many questions plague me, all of which I have no answers for. I miss him, I need him. All of a sudden, I feel like I’m drowning in my desperate pining, lamenting over how I am missing a vital part of myself without him. Alaric makes me whole.

Pushing those feelings aside, I build a mental fence and lock them behind it, so they don’t inflict pain on me when I need to focus. There are so many important things I need to know right now, and I can’t do that if I am mourning the connection between us. Something about being close to Nyx seems to be helping, and without him, I wouldn’t be able to function.

With a deep breath, I put all my energy into sitting up. Every muscle in my body aches, crying out in discomfort as I force them into submission. Nyx shifts his hands to my shoulders and helps me sit up, something I’m secretly grateful for as I’m not sure if I can manage it without his assistance. Sighing in relief, I lean back against the pillows as my eyelids flutter closed, gathering my strength. I shouldn’t need someone to help me for something as simple as sitting up. Why do I feel so weak? I was shot through the heart, after all, and that would knock anyone back.

I was shot in the heart…

My heart is seized in an icy grip of realisation, the cold sensation of dread spreading through me at an alarming rate. I’m struck by the thought that my whole life has just been turned upside down.

I meet Nyx’s gaze once more, noting the tension and concern in his expression. He knows what’s coming and is reluctant, but he’s also worried for me and how I might take the news he is about to reveal. That scares me more than anything else.

“Am I dead?” I manage to speak without choking. In fact, I’m vaguely surprised at how calm I sound, as though the prospect of being dead is something I face every day.

He stiffens, indecision flickering in his dark eyes. “You were,” he answers honestly, his jaw tightening for a moment. He runs his gaze over my body and nods, the corner of his mouth flicking up slightly in the ghost of a smile. “Not any longer.”

Not any longer. So I was dead. The Seelie king killed me.

There are so many things I need to ask and don’t understand about this world, but my head is still fuzzy, and I’m struggling to focus my thoughts. Stay calm, Iris , I order myself. Nothing good will come from falling into hysteria.

With a tremendous amount of willpower, I push the covers away from my legs. I feel a little stronger, the heavy veil of sleep slowly lifting from me. Nyx’s hands hover around me, unsure whether to help or stop me. I pin him with a look, and he quickly drops his hands, letting me sort myself out. I need to do this myself. As I swing my legs off the side of the bed, a wave of dizziness washes over me. Throwing my hands out, I brace myself on the bed, closing my eyes as I wait for the feeling to pass.

Nyx’s need to help me is so strong that I can feel it, and even with my eyes closed, I know he’s staring at me. Readying myself, I open my eyes and finally take in my surroundings.

I can’t help but think I must be dreaming, awe and disbelief making me take a second look. The room appears to be a bedroom and office in one, the space large enough that it doesn’t feel crowded. Against the back wall in the centre of the room, I am on a grand, four-poster bed, the wooden frame carved with flowers and swirls. Running my hands over the dark sheets, I can immediately tell that although simple in design, they are expensive and made of the best material. In fact, all the furnishings are dark, and from the comfortable way Nyx moves around the space, I’m assuming it belongs to him.

I’m in his bedroom… in his bed.

My cheeks flush bright red—not so much from embarrassment, but the feelings that make me press my thighs together in order to get some relief. I’m surrounded by his scent, and it’s only intensifying those feelings.

I have a mate, so I should not be feeling this way about Nyx. My heart yearns for Alaric, but now things feel… different. Is that because I died? Did it somehow affect the bond? I can still feel him, that fiery warmth that keeps me going, yet there is something blanketing that feeling. Have I broken our bond?

My connection with Nyx has always been there, and my feelings towards him have evolved over the years. Here, though, surrounded by his scent and his possessions… My thoughts only feel clear when I look at him, as though all I need to be happy is Nyx. He saved my life, so is that what this sensation is? Intense gratitude? That doesn’t feel right, but my mind is feeling foggy again, and I’m falling into a spiral.

Taking a deep breath, I look around the remainder of the room. Opposite the bed is a gilded door, with the rest of that wall filled with shelves. They are overflowing with books of all shapes and sizes, as though they are reaching towards me, desperate to share their knowledge. Many of the spines are in other languages and so old they are beginning to fall apart. I shake my head in wonder. He can’t have read all of these. You would need a whole lifetime to get through them all.

I can feel Nyx watching me again from the other end of the room, where he’s attempting to make himself look busy, but we both know he’s not. He’s trying to give me space to come to terms with what I learned, and honestly, I feel so overwhelmed that my mind has packed the information away to digest at a later date.

Leaning against a large, arched window alcove, he rests one arm above him and stares at the world outside. It’s a facade, as we both know his attention isn’t on what’s happening out there, but on me. Even so, I appreciate his attempt at giving me space.

Sliding from the edge of the bed, I stand. The room spins around me, so I stay still, waiting for the feeling to pass. My legs shake a little, feeling weak, but the dizziness is swiftly passing.

Several years ago, I caught the winter flu and was unwell for a week. When I was finally able to leave my bed, I was weak and shaky from the illness and being sedentary for a long time. This feeling is similar to that.

I’m starting to feel stronger now, so taking it slowly, I walk over to the window and stand beside Nyx. The pull to him is so much stronger with us standing together like this, and I have the strongest urge to reach out and take his hand in mine. Thankfully, movement outside the window catches my attention.

The sky has the most gorgeous shades of pink and orange, the sunset casting everything in a soft, romantic light. A large lake is spread out across the land, taking up most of the view. The plants and trees here are all different to what I’ve seen before, the flowers large and bright. Leaning as close to the glass as I can without pressing myself against it, I look for any clues as to where we are. From what I can make out of the pale stone walls and turreted towers, we appear to be in a manor house. I have never seen anything like this, and while I have not seen much of our land, I’ve never heard of a place like this.

Where are we?

This is the type of room from fairy tales, where the poor slave girl is rescued by a prince and whisked away to his castle.

“Look at this place!” I exclaim, amazement lifting my spirits. “I must be dead. There is nowhere like this in the land of the living!” This is a joke, for I have seen the fantastical land of the Seelie Court and know there are lands I could never imagine. Instinctively, though, I know wherever I am, it’s not in my land. It’s not even on my continent.

“You’re not dead.” Nyx steps away from the window and closes the distance between us, brushing back a stray lock of my hair. His tone is gentle but firm, as though he is also trying to convince himself of that. “You are just in the realm of the dead.”

He says it like this is an everyday occurrence and the realm of the dead is a perfectly reasonable place to be. If I am not dead, then why am I here? He told me I was dead, meaning he brought me back. The living don’t belong in the realm of the dead. How do I get back, and why am I so calm about this?

The casual touch he now uses thrills me, distracting me from the big questions, but I am still so confused about what’s happening, not to mention why he is here when he’s also not dead.

“You are not fae,” I remark, trying to rid myself of the final foggy patches in my mind. Maybe hearing myself will prod my brain into action.

It’s not a question, and I’m not speaking to him, but he shakes his head anyway. “No.”

Frowning, I shift my weight, looking up at him like the answer is going to be written on him. I place my finger on my lips. “You are definitely not human.”

“Right again.” The corners of his lips flash up in a hint of a smile. He’s finding this amusing.

I give up and meet his eyes. I’m feeling so lost and confused, and although his presence is a comfort, there are bigger issues going on here than just being close to him will solve.

“Then what are you and why can’t I remember anything properly?” My voice hitches, and tears sting my eyes. I will not let them fall, and it’s taking all my willpower to keep them back.

Unfortunately, he has already heard the pain in my voice.

Something shifts on his face, and his whole demeanour changes. “I am the god of death.” Darkness flickers around him. “The process of dying is not something that’s easy to come back from. You will feel weak and confused for some time as you heal.”

I don’t believe I heard him right. I keep staring at him, and he just waits with wary acceptance on his face, as though he’s expecting me to reject him or start screaming.

“The god of death?” I ask incredulously. “And that’s where I am now? In the realm of the dead?”

His expression is severe as he nods. “We are in my realm, but there are many parts of death. We are currently in my manor. You are completely safe here,” he assures me, mistaking the hitch in my breath as fear.

I’m not afraid of the fact that I am currently in his realm or that he is death incarnate. No, he doesn’t scare me. There were many opportunities for him to hurt me in the years we have known each other, and he never has. I do not expect that to change now.

The thing that’s causing my chest to constrict and my pulse to start pounding is that the situation is finally starting to sink in. Nyx is the god of death. The male who watched me grow and became my friend was harbouring another side to him. I always knew he was hiding something, and he was never much of a talker, so what I did learn about him was minimal.

He is death. Does he guide souls into the realm of the dead, or does he have to get his hands dirty and end lives? Truthfully, I don’t think I want to know.

“You said I was dead.” I look down at myself, checking that I truly am alive, and I finally notice that I’m wearing a large shirt and nothing else. Forcing myself not to think about whose clothes I’m currently wearing, I raise my brows. “You did something to change that?”

The way he’s watching me like I might shatter into pieces is starting to frustrate me, but I say nothing, wanting to hear his answer. Dipping his head in acknowledgement of the question, he clears his throat. “I brought you back.”

Part of my mind twitches, picking up on the fact that he winced ever so slightly as he spoke. It wasn’t enough to tell me that he regrets doing it, more like bringing me back cost him. His responses are so short, trying to get answers is like pulling teeth.

“Revealing your true self hasn’t made you any more forthcoming with information,” I gripe as I glare up at him, my frustration finally winning out.

He chuckles slightly, his eyes softening and posture easing. “Sorry, I’m not used to having anyone to talk to.” Seeing that I’m still waiting for answers, he lifts his hand and combs it through his dark hair, his mood shifting once more. “I couldn’t let you die. It wasn’t your time.”

My heart sinks a little. Did he save me just because it was his job? I try to give him a warm smile, but it feels fragile and rigid, and he notices.

Turning away from the intensity of his gaze, I walk back over to the bed and perch on the edge. “So why was death stalking me? Don’t you have better things to do?” I’m joking, yet I really want to know the answer. He’s a god, so why was he watching me in the forest? We never spoke about anything of importance, and he was just a comforting presence to me.

“Being with you is my favourite part of my existence, even if you weren’t always aware of my presence.”

He was literally stalking me. This should throw up major red flags, but it only makes sense to me. Most of my life, I have felt a protective presence, one I assumed was just because my life has always been happy and simple. Now I know that it was him all along.

This contradicts what I thought earlier. If he was just doing his job, then he wouldn’t feel that way about spending time with me. He was watching even when I wasn’t aware of it. It sounds like he was drawn to me, unable to stay away.

Chuckling without humour, I shake my head. “I have so many questions.”

Nyx crosses the room until he’s standing before me. “And I will answer them, I promise. For now, though, we need to get you strong again.” Brushing his hand against my cheek once more, he leans down and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Rest, Iris. All will be well.”