Page 44 of Red Card (Prescott University #1)

Rory

M y eyes are burning after staring at my anatomy notes and textbook for the last… however long I’ve been studying.

It feels like hours, but truthfully, I’ve lost track of time.

Glancing out of the large arched window above my desk, I see the sun has started to go down over the horizon. I set my pen on my textbook and lift my arms above me in an attempt to stretch my stiff, aching muscles after being stationary for so long.

I probably should’ve taken a break before now, but I tend to lose myself in my homework easily and after severely neglecting it the last few days, I had a mountain to work on.

I make my way to the kitchen to search for something to eat, but I’m pretty sure the last time I went grocery shopping was… weeks ago?

I’ve been a tad preoccupied, so it’s not at all surprising when the only thing I come up with after rifling through my cabinets is a protein bar and a pack of ramen noodles.

The quintessential college student’s survival diet. As cliché as it sounds.

I’m putting a pot of water on the stove when I hear a soft knock at my front door.

It’s probably Cillian. I haven’t heard from him since the meeting, and even though I told him I was going to be studying this evening, I’m hoping he decided to come anyway. It hasn’t even been a whole day, and I already miss him.

I walk through the entryway and open the front door with a grin. “I kne—”

Only it’s not Cillian.

“ Dad? ” I say, my tone full of surprise.

He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He looks tired tonight. His normally bright eyes seem dull and heavy with bags beneath them. His salt-and-pepper hair is slightly disheveled, as if he’s been running his fingers through it. “Hi, sweetheart. Can I come in?”

I swing the door open wide and step to the side. “Of course. What’s… what’s going on?”

Usually, he doesn’t show up unannounced so I’m starting to get worried. When he walks into the living room and sits on the couch, dropping his head into his hands and not meeting my eyes, that worry morphs into something bigger.

Something’s not right.

“Dad, what’s happening?” I ask, sinking down beside him. I bring my thumb to my mouth to chew on the end. I need something to do with my hands with the anxiousness coursing through me.

He lifts his head, his expression fitted with apprehension that does nothing for the knot tightening in the base of my throat. “I… I wanted you to hear this from me, and not anyone else. I’m sure the entire campus will find out by morning. Cillian’s been kicked off the team, permanently.”

The floor seems to sway beneath my feet, and if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m already sitting, I might actually fall.

What?

How is that possible? I don’t understand.

I swallow, trying to keep my tears at bay. Out of everything… this is the last thing I expected to hear. And I can’t show the emotion that I’m currently fighting to hold back. My dad has no clue that Cillian and I are together and…

“W-what happened?” My voice cracks slightly, the tremble evident.

He exhales, shaking his head as he shifts beside me. “This needs to stay between us, Rory. I’m only telling you this because I know you’ve had your hopes set on making this work, and you’ve developed a friendship with him. Like you have with the other guys.”

The knot in my stomach tightens until an ache begins to form.

What I feel about Cillian is nothing like I feel for any of the other guys. He’s become my best friend but… he’s so much more than that.

And I can’t even be honest with my dad about it, and that just seems to make the feeling worse.

“I know that you worked hard to get the team working together, to get them through the transition, and I want you to know this is not your fault, and you are not responsible for someone else’s actions.

” He pauses as he reaches for me, squeezing my hand gently.

“I received an anonymous tip that Cillian was using drugs and may be dealing them around campus. I didn’t want to believe it.

Shit, I didn’t want to. But as a coach, I have responsibilities.

I had to investigate it. When I brought Cillian into my office this afternoon, he agreed to a drug test.”

My brow furrows in confusion. “Are you saying…” When I trail off, he nods, rolling his lips together.

“He failed, Rory.”

No. No. No.

Cillian’s not on drugs. There’s no way.

I’m shaking my head, over and over, but I can’t even find the words because this is just… insane. He’s not on drugs. I know that he’s not on drugs.

“I didn’t want to believe it either, sweetheart. I really believed that he had turned things around. I’m so disappointed.”

I spring from the couch, shaking my head. “No, Dad. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t do drugs. He was working his ass off to keep his spot on the team. He wouldn’t do all of that and be taking drugs. Not when it would get him off the team.”

The hot sting of tears behind my eyes threatens to spill, but I suck in a shaky breath, willing myself to calm down. Obviously, this is just a big misunderstanding. One that we can easily fix.

“Retest him. It could be a false positive. You can’t kick him off the team for a test that could be a false positive, or even a faulty test. That happens.”

Dad shakes his head again. “We did, Rory. We immediately retested him with the same results. I saw it myself. He failed for amphetamines. Both times.”

I feel like I’m going to puke. I can’t believe Cillian would be on drugs, but my dad… he would never lie to me.

He reaches into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out his phone, turning the screen to face me.

I don’t want to believe what I’m seeing, but… I can’t. Because there’s two positive drug tests.

Cillian failed. Twice.

My head begins to swim so I slowly walk to the couch, dropping my head into my hands as I breathe.

“Rory, it’s not that difficult for me to believe that he went back to what he was doing in London.

The boy has been through a lot, more than I can imagine honestly, and I’m not saying I condone it…

I’m just saying that history has a way of repeating itself.

As badly as I wanted this to not be true, it is, and now we have to deal with it.

I have a responsibility to my team, and my guys. ”

I just don’t understand. Why would Cillian ask for a drug test if he was going to fail it? None of it makes sense. Why would he do this knowing that it would result in an immediate dismissal from the team? Why put that work in?

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know how hard you tried.

That’s one of the things I love most about you…

your heart. You always see the good in people.

” His arm slides around my shoulder and he tucks me against his side, rubbing a hand soothingly down my arm.

I squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears from falling.

I just… I can’t believe Cillian would do this not only to the team but to me . Surely, there’s some kind of explanation for this.

There has to be.

I know that his time at Prescott hasn’t always been the easiest, but the Cillian that I know wouldn’t do this. I can’t truly begin to understand the heartache he’s experienced in the past couple of years, and I know how hard it’s been on him after he finally opened up to me.

I thought that I had gotten past those concrete walls around his heart, and that I knew who he really is beyond all that.

And after everything, he’s been lying to me?

The thought of him hiding this from me feels unbearable. A type of pain I’ve never experienced before, and it hurts .

“Dad…” My voice cracks, and I tell myself to hold it together for just a few more minutes until I can let it go. It feels like an impossible feat right now. I clear my throat. “Um, I think I just need a little time to process this. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

I untangle myself from his arms and stand from the couch, facing away from him. I don’t even know if I can look at him right now without breaking down.

“Yeah, sweetheart, of course.”

I hear him stand from the couch, and on the way out, he presses his lips to my head in a lingering kiss. “I love you, Rory. It’s going to be okay. We’re a strong team, and we’ll make it through this.”

If only he had any idea.

I nod. “Love you too.”

The second I hear the front door shut, I lock the deadbolt and fall back against the wood as a strangled sob rips free.

My hand shakes as I pull my phone out of my pocket and press Cillian’s name in my contact log.

I have to talk to him; I need to talk to him.

Straight to voicemail.

Shit. Immediately, I call back. Over and over.

Every single time his phone goes straight to voicemail.

Rory: Cillian I need you to call me asap. Please.

Everything was going great, Cillian was finally making strides with the team, they were building trust, bonding in a way that I couldn’t have even imagined they would, and now… this.

It has to be a mistake. I want to believe I know Cillian better than this, that somehow this is an error or a misunderstanding but another part of me knows that my dad would never kick him off the team unless there was irrefutable evidence.

I saw it myself, and still… the way I feel about him clouds that.

I feel like I can’t even trust myself right now. Not to take Cillian’s side, to not believe him despite what proof is being shoved in my face.

Sliding to the floor, I let the hot tears stream down my face, my breath shaking with my sobs.

I’m hurt, and disappointed, and confused.

Because if he was struggling this badly, if he felt he had no other choice but to turn to drugs… he didn’t trust me enough to come to me. To be honest and tell me that he needed help.

I had to find out like this .

Not even from him.

I don’t know how long I sit on the floor, crying until there’s nothing left, until I think I can somehow lessen the hurt and confusion I feel. My apartment is dark and my face is stiff and puffy from dried tears. And if anything, I just feel worse.