Page 64 of Reality With You (Arden Beach #1)

L ennon pulled the SUV to a stop in front of her apartment building, parking parallel to the quiet street under a row of palm trees. They swayed peacefully against a crisp blue sky with a few wispy white clouds. A beautiful day. By all other measures.

She glanced in the rearview mirror at her red, puffy eyes stained with day-old mascara and groaned. Snot slowly slipped from her nose as she searched for something to wipe it with. She had to settle on her hand to clean herself up. At least she did find hand sanitizer tucked in the door.

Lennon stepped out on the pavement, locking the vehicle with the fob before checking the time on her phone.

She needed to be presentable and back behind the wheel in less than an hour.

As she walked toward the building, she struggled with the lock on her clutch again to access her keys, cursing under her breath.

“Lennon?”

She froze, fingers gripping the bag. Every molecule within her turned in on itself at the sound of the female voice Lennon hadn’t heard in nearly a year. Lennon slowly looked up. “Mom?” Her voice came out hollow around the word.

Katherine, an almost spitting image of Lennon twenty years in the future except for the sensible outfit of khaki capri pants, a white scoop-neck t-shirt, and sandals, stepped away from the building’s management office, her hand slipping from the handle as it shut behind her.

As Katherine closed the gap between them, she scanned Lennon’s appearance—her frizzy hair, ruddy face, wrinkled dress.

Lennon wanted to disappear into that black hole expanding inside her.

“What the hell is going on? What are you wearing?”

“I … I went to a wedding,” Lennon answered weakly, her throat tight. The hot, humid air hung heavy around her.

“Like that?”

Her brain sluggishly reoriented to the situation. She shook her head, shaking off the stunned fog with it. “What are you doing here?”

Katherine’s expression of confusion morphed into one of hurt and reproof. She gripped the tote over her shoulder, shifting her weight to one leg. “I should be the one asking that question. When were you planning to tell me that you were back in Florida?”

“How did you even find me?”

“One of my neighbors said they saw you and Dylan on some gossip website. Do you know how embarrassing it was to have to learn about my daughter’s whereabouts from someone else? I called your old landlord in New York, and they said you’d had your stuff mailed to this address.”

“Wow, so much for privacy laws,” Lennon mumbled to herself.

“I’m your mother, and I had no idea what was going on with you because you haven’t called me in almost a year.”

“Well, the phone works both ways.”

Katherine’s eyes went cold, her nostrils flaring—the first sign Lennon had struck a nerve and was heading into dangerous territory.

As a kid, she knew to back off when she saw that warning, and even now, her body sent off alarm bells.

“I was giving you space. You weren’t exactly happy with my honesty the last time we spoke.

” She ignored Lennon’s eye roll and derisive laugh.

“I was worried about you, but I figured you’d reach out to me once you calmed down and came to your senses.

I see now that you’ve dug in your heels again, like you do.

” She surveyed the building and the street, her brow pinching in disapproval.

“When I called you and told you I’d finally gotten a record deal, you told me they were going to turn me into another ‘popstar whore,’” Lennon reminded her, the biting pain of the memory as fresh as if it’d happened yesterday.

“I was excited and wanted to celebrate this huge milestone with my mom, and that’s what you chose to say. ”

Katherine set her attention on Lennon again. “I was worried. You’re my daughter. It’s my job to protect you. Everyone knows how dangerous the music business is—how unreliable it is—how it treats people like products and spits them out when they’re done with them. Why would I want that for you?”

“Because it’s what I want.”

“And how’s that working out for you?”

Shame rose up in a hot, blistering wave. Lennon’s grip tightened around the clutch, her lashes flickering slightly.

“I assume because you’re living here in Arden Beach and not New York that things aren’t going so well,” Katherine added, shamelessly condescending.

The distant sound of traffic from the main boulevard and the occasional pedestrian across the street reminded Lennon how public their conversation was, making her feel disgustingly exposed.

Drawing in a deep breath, she gathered what strength she could find to push out the words—and not cry as she said them.

“The record deal didn’t end up working out.

I found another opportunity here, so I took it. ”

The look of self-righteous satisfaction on her mother’s face twisted the ball of knives in her stomach. Katherine’s gaze flitted past her to the SUV. “Whose car is that?”

“Dylan’s. He let me borrow it,” Lennon answered calmly, though her jaw was tight.

“Ah.” Her mother nodded once and smiled as though something finally made sense. “So, he’s taking care of you?”

At this point, she shouldn’t have been surprised by anything her mother said, but her words echoing Kelsey’s cut particularly deep. Tears stung the back of her eyes. “You really think I came back to Arden Beach for my ex-husband’s money?”

“I don’t know what you’d do in a desperate situation, Lennon,” Katherine said with a sigh, exasperated.

“I tried to warn you not to make the same mistake I did and marry your high school boyfriend, but you didn’t listen.

You never do. Then, I warned you pursuing a career in music would end badly and, well.

” She flipped her palm, shrugging a shoulder before letting her hand drop to her thigh.

“I worked my ass off to get you that scholarship—”

“For a dental program. I told you countless times that I wasn’t interested in that career path. I don’t want the same things as you—”

“Now that you’ve had a taste of how bad it can get, I can see how you’d look for an easy way out,” she continued as if Lennon hadn’t even spoken.

Lennon curled her lower lip, biting down on it to keep herself from crying. She shook her head. “Nothing about this has been easy.”

“I read about his troubles. He may be well-off, but he’s a mess. Why would you want to get involved with someone like that, Lennon? He already abandoned you once. Surely, you’re smart enough to know he’ll do it again.”

Lennon nearly lost her breath at that gut punch.

“We’re not getting back together,” she gritted out.

“He just let me borrow his car.” It felt like all the blood in her body was slowly draining out onto the pavement.

“I need to go. I have an appointment to get to.” She started toward the building, passing her mother.

“Appointment for what?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“What is all this hostility for? You know … I don’t get it, Lennon,” Katherine said to her daughter’s retreating back.

“I sacrificed so much for you. I raised you as a single parent while I was working and going to dental school full-time. I did everything in my power to set you up for success, and you don’t seem to care about any of it.

You just want to fool around instead of putting in the work to actually make something of your life. ”

Lennon stopped halfway between her mother and the building’s entrance.

The frustration that had been mounting within her hit critical mass.

She fisted her empty hand, swinging back around.

“No, you don’t get it. I have sacrificed everything to make my life something that means something to me ,” she said, jabbing her forefinger into her chest. “It’s not about you or Dylan or anyone else.

It’s about me being able to live with myself. ”

A breeze lifted Lennon’s hair, blowing it across her face. Some pieces stuck to a thin layer of sweat. She didn’t move to peel them away as she watched her mother’s expression slowly devolve into disappointment.

And pity.

“So, there’s nothing I can say to make you change your mind?” Katherine asked. Lennon gave a small shake of her head in response. Her mother dropped her head as her eyes fell shut, her thumb absently brushing along the strap of her tote. She released a sigh. “I’m so scared for you, Lennon.”

The rawness of her mother’s voice surprised her. “I’m scared for me, too,” Lennon admitted. “But I’d be more scared if I accepted a life I knew would chip away at my soul until there was nothing left of me but a shell of who I am. At least this way, I have a shot at real happiness.”

Katherine frowned, her eyes glassy as she raised her head. Lennon’s heart sat suspended in her chest, waiting. Hoping.

“I hope you understand that I can’t watch you live like this. It’s too hard for me,” Katherine said sorrowfully. “And I can’t condone it.”

Lennon blinked back the tears welling in her own, her chin faintly quivering. She tightened her jaw to freeze it in place. “It’s hard for me not having my mom support me.”

Katherine smiled sadly. She softly canted her head. “That’s what I’m doing, just not in the way you’d like.”

Lennon’s bruised heart sank, taking with it the last shred of hope she’d carried that things would someday be different between them. For a moment, she stared at the concrete, unable to speak.

“All I’ve ever wanted is for you to see me for me and to like what you see,” Lennon finally said, her voice shaking slightly. She lifted her gaze to her mother. “I’m sorry we’re both such a disappointment to each other.”

Katherine’s expression didn’t budge, and she made no move to argue or come toward her. Lennon had her answer. She just had to accept it.

“Goodbye, Mom.”

Lennon turned back to the building, pushing onward to her apartment. She hoped her mother would call out to her, that she’d hear her sandals slapping against the concrete as she ran to stop her, but Lennon continued up the stairs in silence.

When she made it to her apartment and looked out the window, Katherine was gone.