Page 23 of Razor (Road Reapers MC #4)

R yan didn’t have a clue what he was going to do about Jenna Ashbrook.

He knew that he wanted her, but beyond that, he was at a loss.

She was all that he could think about for the past two years while he was in hell.

He had served two tours, with very little time off.

He volunteered to go back overseas after he finished his first tour, over a year ago.

His commander thought that he was crazy, even suicidal, but the thought of going home to stalk Jenna and Zac seemed pointless.

Jenna had divorced Jake but was struggling to raise her son on her own.

He didn’t want to make her life more complicated, and the only way he knew how to do that was to stay away from her, and he did for as long as he could.

After his second tour as a Navy pilot, he wanted out.

He’d given the Navy ten years of his life, and now he wanted more.

He wanted to settle down and have a family.

He wanted Jenna and Zac. Ryan knew that he had to work through a few issues before he’d be good enough for Jenna, but he was willing to try.

He just couldn’t bring her any more unhappiness—she’d had enough of that with Jake.

Ryan pulled into Drew and Karlie’s driveway and found the entire family playing out front.

His niece, Jem, was the cutest. She squealed and started wobbling towards him as he got out of his truck.

He bent down and lifted her into the air, causing a squeal of joy and a little drool to escape the toddler’s mouth.

Jem put her little chubby hands on his face and kissed his cheek.

Ryan couldn’t help himself; he laughed out loud when she left a little drool on his face.

“Hi, pumpkin, how’s my favorite girl today?” he kissed her cherub cheek and patted her back.

“Hi,” she said, nodding her little blond head. She looked so much like Zac since both babies took after their mothers, thank God. Both Karlie and Jenna were beauties, with their blond hair and blue eyes. Karlie strolled up to Ryan with her arms around Drew’s middle.

“Hey there, stranger,” Jem reached for her mom, and Karlie took her from Ryan. He kissed Karlie’s cheek and hugged his brother.

“How’s it going, man? Mom told me that you were back in town.

How long will you be around?” Drew patted Ryan’s back and resumed his position beside Karlie and Jem, pulling them in close.

Ryan felt a pang of jealousy. He wanted what his brother had with Karlie and their daughter. He wanted a family to call his own.

“I am back for good. I’m out and doing some civilian contracting with the Department of Defense, down here. Didn’t Mom tell you? That woman has been micromanaging me since I told her that I was coming home,” Ryan grumbled.

Drew shook his head. “She told me that you were coming home, but I assumed that it was just for leave. Wow, Ryan, that’s great.

What caused you to want out?” Drew smiled at his brother—the smart ass had already guessed how he felt about Jenna.

On one of his few trips home, Ryan made the mistake of asking too many questions about Jenna and the baby.

Drew had given him shit about Jenna being too young for him and how she was finally getting her life together, how she needed stability.

Like Ryan needed to hear all of that—he already knew it, but wanting Jenna hadn’t gone away.

The short amount of time that he spent with her, while watching Zac being born, made him long for all the things that the Navy couldn’t give him.

Sure, he’d seen the world, but he’d also seen the atrocities of war.

He watched friends die and had to deal with the very real possibility that he could be next.

He watched as his friends’ families suffered, dealing with their losses.

He wouldn’t do that to Jenna, no matter how badly he wanted her.

Drew just stared Ryan down, waiting for an answer. “Keep on smiling, asshole. You know exactly why I’m home.”

“Language,” Karlie scolded, covering one of Jem’s ears, causing the toddler to squirm and want down.

“Asshole, Mama,” Jem repeated, not understanding the new word, but seeming to like the way both her dad and uncle laughed when she said it.

Karlie just sighed and put her hands on her hips. “Nice, Ryan. Seriously, could you not teach my daughter curse words? Drew has a swear jar that he has to put a quarter in every time he cusses. Maybe we should start charging you, too.”

Ryan reached into his wallet and dug out a five-dollar bill, “Here, darlin’, run a tab for me.

” He winked at Karlie, causing her to huff out a breath.

Drew pulled her in and kissed her, long and deep, causing her to swat at him.

He cupped her ass, pulling her closer, and she just melted into his hold.

Ryan shifted from one foot to the other, a little uncomfortable watching them.

Jem was also watching her parents, smiling up at them, and she took their hands, pulling their attention away from each other.

Karlie backed away from Drew, smiling like the Cheshire Cat, pulling Jem along with her. “Let’s give Daddy and Uncle Ryan time to catch up, Jemma. Why don’t we make some lunch? Ryan, will you stay?” Ryan just nodded, watching them turn to go into the house.

“You are one lucky son of a bitch,” Ryan said, turning to his brother. Drew was still smiling from his kiss with Karlie, love-struck.

“Yeah, I know how lucky I am. Every day, I wake up and thank God that I have that woman and little girl.” Drew looked more serious now, and Ryan knew that a lecture was coming from his little brother.

“So, you’re sticking around?” Drew didn’t wait for Ryan to answer, “Where are you staying?”

“I am staying with Mom and Dad until I can find my own place. I just got back into town yesterday. I’ll start looking for a house after I start my new job.

Mom is thrilled to have me back. I think I am taking over Dad’s ‘honey-do list’.

” Ryan grimaced, causing Drew to chuckle.

“It’s not too bad. I’m happy to help out and grateful for Mom’s home cooking.

I missed home, the last nine months. Hell, I’ve missed home these past two years.

” Ryan stared off at Drew’s house and wondered what it would be like to have a house of his own with a wife making him lunch and a little girl terrorizing her mama while she worked.

“You mean you missed me? Man, that’s so nice.” Ryan punched Drew in the arm. “Ouch, fucker.” Drew laughed and pushed his brother back, with no real force. “I didn’t think it was me that you missed. Have you seen Jenna yet?”

Ryan straightened at the mention of her name. He didn’t want to get Drew involved in this thing with Jenna. She was Drew’s sister-in-law and Karlie’s only sister. “Yeah, I saw her last night,” he shrugged, trying to go for nonchalant.

“Huh,” Drew grunted at his brother’s admission. “So, you got into town yesterday and went right to Jenna’s place? Is it serious?” Ryan didn’t like his younger brother butting into his business. He needed time to figure out just what he wanted with Jenna.

“No, it’s not serious. We are just having pizza tonight, the three of us.” Ryan was trying to keep the conversation casual, but Drew kept digging.

“Jenna deserves someone who wants to settle down and treat her right. She and Zac both deserve that. She’s been going through hell with Jake’s attorneys and the threatening letters from his parents and their lawyers. She deserves—more.”

Ryan couldn’t help himself; he all but jumped at his brother. “What the hell are you talking about? Jake and his parents are threatening her and Zac?” Ryan was furious but grew even more so when his brother smirked at him. “What the fuck, Drew?”

“Yeah, Jenna has been having some issues with them all wanting visitation rights to Zac. Jake can’t see him until he gets out of prison, and then it will be a cold day in hell before I let him anywhere near Jenna or my nephew.” Drew looked as mad as Ryan now felt.

“Listen, man, I just don’t want you to screw with her.

” Drew winced at his own words. “You know what I mean. If you aren’t staying around or if you’re not sure you want to settle down, walk away now.

She has a two-year-old to take care of, and she deserves someone who wants to take care of her and Zac. ”

Ryan was in Drew’s face again, anger pouring off him, “And you don’t think I’m fucking good enough to take care of them?” Drew put his hands up in defeat, taking a step back.

“Not what I meant, bro, and you know it. Why are you so angry? You were the one to walk away from her after Zac was born. I could tell that you had a thing for her then.” Ryan took a few deep breaths and calmed down. Drew was right- he was the one who walked away.

“I had no choice, and you know it. I had an obligation to my country. I have fulfilled my fucking duty and now I’m home—for fucking good.”

“I think your tab is just about used up, Ryan. I could hear you boys cussing from the kitchen. I fed Jem and put her down for her nap.” She smiled up at Drew, handing him a glass of sweet tea and the other to Ryan.

“You boys hungry? I made BLTs for lunch and homemade potato salad.” Now that was something Ryan could get behind—home cooking.

“I’m in, thanks.” Ryan nodded.

“Sounds good, baby,” Drew pulled her in for a kiss, and Ryan groaned, causing both Karlie and his brother to laugh.

“Really, guys, you’ve been married for just about two years now, haven’t you worked some of that out of your system?”

“Never,” they both said together, looking at each other, smiling like fools.

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