Page 21 of Razor (Road Reapers MC #4)

Ryan, the big, beautiful man, just smiled at her.

“Well, I thought that you might still be up since it’s only nine o’clock.

I didn’t know that most people considered it the middle of the night.

Maybe I’ve been away a little too long, sweetheart, but if I remember correctly, we were good enough friends for me to be in the delivery room when Zac was born.

I’d say that makes us pretty damn good friends, considering I’ve seen all your lady parts and all.

” He winked at her and was still smiling his sexy as sin smile.

Jenna didn’t know what to say to that. He was right; he had seen her at the most vulnerable time in her life, but then he left her.

He just walked away from her after making her feel like she mattered.

Maybe it was just her hormones or the loss of her marriage, but she thought that Ryan had feelings for her.

She was wrong, she knew that now, but it didn’t make it hurt any less when he walked away from her so easily.

“Ryan, I don’t have time to stand here and talk to you about my lady parts.

I have to be up early in the morning with my son, get him to school, and then go to work.

Princess or not, I have responsibilities.

So, if you will excuse me, I am going back to sleep because when you have to wake up before the sun, nine o’clock is the middle of the night.

” She started to shut her front door, but Ryan had opened her screen door and put his big work boot in the door frame before she could completely close it.

She knew better than to fight with Ryan; he was so much bigger than her, and if he wanted in, he’d be in. He just stood there with his hand over hers on the door. She felt an awareness that she hadn’t felt in years. Her body tensed, and she looked into his beautiful green eyes.

“Yeah, you feel that too, huh?” He was rubbing her hand with his thumb, making the tingling more intense. It was like she could feel his touch down in her core.

“Ryan, I—” She pulled her hand out from under his, breaking the connection. “I have to go to bed. I’m tired and have an early start tomorrow.”

Ryan barked out a laugh, “Yeah, Zac has school, and you have work—on a Saturday?”

Jenna felt her face get hot, and she knew she had turned bright red from embarrassment. How had she forgotten that it was Friday night? Oh yeah, because unlike the rest of the town, Friday night for her was just like any other weeknight.

“I know it’s Saturday, tomorrow,” she defended. “I just forgot for a minute. You woke me up with all your pounding, and I’m a little foggy. It has been a long day. You’re lucky that you didn’t wake up Zac with all the noise you were making.”

Ryan looked over her head and laughed, “Um, I think I may owe you an apology.”

“Mommy—” Zac was standing behind her, rubbing his little eyes. He had climbed out of his crib again. She turned to find him in his little Superman pajamas, still snuggly from sleep. She picked him up, cuddling him close. He laid his head on her shoulder and started to suck his thumb.

“It’s okay, baby,” she soothed Zac, running her hand over his blond, curly hair. His eyes shot directly to Ryan.

“Who dat?” Zac said, around his thumb hanging from his mouth. Ryan stepped forward, smiling at her son, seemingly mesmerized by him.

“Hi, Zac. I’m Ryan, a friend of your mommy’s.

” Ryan held out his big hand to shake Zac’s.

Zac took his thumb from his mouth and shook Ryan’s hand, getting slobber all over him.

Much to Jenna’s surprise, Ryan didn’t seem to mind.

He even laughed when Zac put his little thumb right back into his mouth after the handshake exchange was over.

“Sorry,” Ryan apologized, looking now at Jenna. I didn’t mean to wake both of you. I didn’t think about him being this big now. Geeze, have I been gone that long?”

Jenna couldn’t help but nod at his question.

“Yes, you have been away that long, Ryan. Two years is a very long time. Friends don’t just drop out of friends’ lives for two years, without any word.

” He stopped looking at her, dropping his gaze to her floor.

He seemed embarrassed, and she immediately felt bad for her words, wanting to take them back.

“I know that it seems like I dropped out of your life,” he all but whispered, “but I was around. When I was in town, I asked about you and even saw you a couple of times. I just didn’t want to mess up your life by popping in and out of it whenever I pleased.

It wouldn’t have been fair to you or Zac. ”

At the mention of his name, Zac lifted his sleepy head off Jenna’s shoulder and reached out his arms towards Ryan. He seemed to hesitate, not knowing what to do with Zac’s outstretched arms, pleading to be held.

“It’s okay, Ryan, you can hold him if you’d like.

” Jenna started towards Ryan, to hand Zac off to him, and God, he smelled good.

His scent was like Old Spice and soap all mixed up together.

Ryan took Zac from her, and her son smiled up at him, causing Ryan to laugh out loud.

Jenna had a feeling that Ryan didn’t laugh much these days.

She noticed that the lines in his face were a little more defined than the last time they were together.

She stood staring at him as if studying the changes she saw in him.

“You’ve changed,” she didn’t mean to say it out loud. It almost sounded like she was accusing him of something instead of just making an observation.

“How so, princess?” Ryan seemed mesmerized by Zac and vice versa.

The two were a pair, studying each other.

Zac reached up to Ryan’s lips and pulled his full bottom lip up over his top lip, making him pout.

Zachary laughed around his little thumb, causing Ryan to have another full belly laugh.

Jenna couldn’t help herself; she joined in.

Watching the two of them play with each other’s faces just brought her joy.

Seeing Zac take to Ryan so easily gave her hope, and that was the last thing that she needed.

She didn’t need Ryan giving her false hope again.

Jenna decided to leave the two and make a cup of hot tea for herself, needing some distance from Ryan.

When she made her way back into her family room with a sippy cup for Zac and two mugs of hot tea, she found the pair on the floor, playing with Thomas the Tank Engine.

Ryan was even making train noises, much to Zac’s delight.

“Why are you here, now?” She needed to know what had changed. Ryan told her that he couldn’t bring himself to disrupt her life, coming and going. It was the excuse he gave her for not staying in touch after he shipped out two years ago.

Ryan looked up from where he sat on the floor with Zac. He looked so unsure of himself, of what to say next, so he said nothing and continued to play trains with her son. She wanted to let that be her answer, knowing that he didn’t want to talk about it, but she just couldn’t let it go.

“You are here, now—why? What’s changed?” Ryan didn’t look away from Zac and his toys.

“I’m leaving the Navy, princess. I’m thinking about sticking around for a while and putting down roots. I’ve missed so much time with my family, and I want to stay here in Alabama for a while.”

Jenna just stared at Ryan, not knowing what to say next. He was giving her that damned hope again, and he needed to cut it out.

“Listen, Ryan, it was nice to see you, but like I said earlier, you can’t just drop by after not being around for the last two years. I can’t have you here one minute and gone the next. That’s what you did last time, and it hurt. I can’t let you do that to Zac.”

Ryan nodded his head as if agreeing with her.

He stood, leaving Zac to play with his trains, and made his way to where Jenna stood.

He was standing directly in front of her, causing her to crane her neck to look into his beautiful green eyes.

He looked so much like his brother, just more intense.

He seemed to always have something on his mind, so serious.

She wanted to run her fingers through his short, brown, unruly hair or maybe smooth away some of his worry lines on his forehead.

She kept both hands on her warm mug of tea, not chancing fate.

If she touched him now, she wouldn’t want to stop.

She had wanted the man since she was just a girl.

Jenna had made a complete fool of herself, following him around when she was thirteen years old.

He was nineteen at the time and a man. He didn’t want some teenage brat following him around.

But she had, and it was pretty pathetic.

Right now, he made her feel like a thirteen-year-old girl with a major crush on the hottest guy in town.

“Jenna, you’re right. I had no right to come here; I can’t even explain why I did.

I just couldn’t stay away from you any longer.

I needed to see you, too—” He seemed to hesitate again, but then reached his hand up and ran his fingers lightly down her cheek.

“I needed to touch you. For the past two years, you and Zac were all that I could think of. You changed my life that day in the hospital. You and Zac changed me. I want things now that I never thought I did, like a family.”

He looked back at Zac and smiled, seeing the toddler still playing with his trains. “I was wondering if I could take you to dinner one night this week. I’d like to take you both to dinner.” He turned his attention back to Jenna, searching her face as if silently pleading with her to say yes.

“Ryan, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I can’t just uproot Zac’s schedule for a night out. He’s not used to going out for dinner,” Jenna challenged.

“Okay, how about we get some pizza and eat in? I just want to get to know you, both of you. Please? I’ll even pick up a movie, your choice,” Ryan said.