Page 25

25

JOY

I thought he was going to fuck me in the shower. It was definitely on my to-do list for places to have sex with Wes. Instead, he’d washed me, head to toe. Shampooed and conditioned my hair. Kissed and let his fingers run all over as he circled me to make sure I didn’t have any other scratches besides the one on my arm.

Then he quickly soaped up and rinsed off and helped me out.

Who knew sexy shower time was the best foreplay?

Wes licked and kissed his way down my body some more as he toweled me dry, leaving me trembling under his touch–every nerve activated and sensitized to his touch, his breath, his growls of approval.

I was in a delicious haze of not only lust, but something even more intoxicating–the idea of getting serious with Wes.

Being claimed by this burly, grumpy cinnamon roll dad. A man who wanted to bite me and mark me as his. God, it felt beyond romantic. It felt natural and right.

Maybe I had abandonment issues from my dad moving out. Maybe it was from the fear of losing my mom every time she struggled.

Or maybe it was simply that I felt what Wes did–that he was “the one.” Fate had interceded when it chose Wes to move next door.

As an artist, I’d trusted in fate. When I first started throwing pots and wanted to make a living out of it, I put it out to the Universe. I figured if it was meant to be, they’d sell. If I earned enough from the pottery to quit my job slinging beer at Cody’s, that would be a sign I was on the right path. Over time, I’d been able to quit my job.

I wasn’t making six figures or anything, but I made enough for a down payment on my house. I made enough to make it a full-time gig.

Therefore, I believed now that fate had brought me the one man made for me. The one who I “fit” with. Who got me. Who I felt at home with from the first moment I saw him, even when he was being a grouchy ass.

Was it fast? Yes. Ridiculously so. If a friend of mine said she met a guy the other day, they were in love, and wanted to get his name tattooed permanently on her body, I’d tell her to pump those brakes.

Except, I just… knew, and I didn’t have an inner wolf or a super scenter.

I just wanted Wes. And Remy.

Wes dropped the towel to the floor and scooped me up into his arms.

“Mine,” he growled as he carried me to his bedroom.

My pussy clenched. I absolutely loved that assertion.

I loved the idea of being his. I wanted him to be mine in return.

I tried on the idea of moving in here with him permanently. Of co-parenting Remy. Of giving her siblings.

It all felt perfect.

I could turn my house into an entire art studio. Maybe I could even use the living area as a “showroom” and sell directly from my house.

I was getting ahead of myself.

Maybe I should pump those brakes in my mind.

Wes laid me on my back and studied my face. “Now you’re freaking out.”

“Not freaking out,” I admitted as I shook my head. “Just wondered if it’s going too fast.”

He traced his fingertip around my nipple. “You don’t have to be afraid of anything. Not with me. If you want me to wait to mark you, I will. I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life proving to you that I’m worthy of being your mate, if that’s what it takes. I just want you near me. Part of our lives.”

My eyes misted up, and I reached for his face, pulling him down for a kiss. “It’s not that, I just…”

He straddled my waist, gently manacling my wrists and pinning them beside my head. I loved feeling trapped by him. Trapped meant safe. “Tell me.”

I arched my tits up, wanting more of his touch because the position he had me in turned me on.

“Tell me everything you’re afraid of. Let’s get it all out on the table, so we know what we’re dealing with.”

I hesitated. I wasn’t sure if my fears had names or were even rational.

“I’ll go first,” he said. “I’m scared the wolf thing will freak you out. That you’ll decide it’s not for you. I’m scared you’ll find it too much with me being a package deal with Remy.” He glanced away for a second then back. “And…I’m scared Remy will get hurt. That she’ll get attached to you, and then if things don’t work out, it will break her heart even more than not having a mom who broke her heart.”

My eyes teared up for him. For Remy. For the moment of vulnerability. He was so incredible and brave to share with me. His fears were reasonable and made sense.

He seemed to realize it was not the moment for bondage because he released my wrists and let me wrap my arms around his neck to hold him.

It was easier to talk with my lips against his neck, my face hidden. “I’m afraid…I don’t know–that I’m being impulsive or irrational. That if things don’t work out, people will judge me for rushing in. I know that’s stupid to worry about what other people think, but–”

His thumb stroked my cheek. “It’s not stupid. I get it. What else? I want to hear every last reservation.”

“Okay…” This suddenly became a game we were in together instead of a crisis of big decisions.

Wes settled us on our sides, facing each other, then ensured the blanket was pulled up over our bare skin.

“What if you’re catfishing me?” I giggled at the absurdity of the idea. I’d known Rob and Boyd Wolf and most of the guys on the ranch forever. Wes was one of their friends. He wasn’t some rando guy making a play for me with an ulterior motive. But just saying it out loud cleared any shadow of worry I had.

Wes chuckled, too. “I’m definitely catfishing you. I want access to all your gorgeous pottery and keep it for myself.”

I couldn’t help but giggle again.

“What if you’re a narcissist who lures me in with hot sex and handyman favors until I’m locked in and then starts controlling and gaslighting?” As I said those words, I knew they were impossible. I’d seen him with his daughter. He wasn’t a narcissist. He was the opposite.

He didn’t seem offended. “What else do you have?”

I let my mind go to the very worst fear. Maybe the one every woman on the planet had to be cautious about. “What if you turn into an abuser, and then I’m locked in a wolf cult that won’t let me out?”

Wes went very still, eyes wide. “Fuck, Joy. That’s some seriously scary shit.” He didn’t speak or move quickly to reassure me. He just let that fear shimmer between us before it drifted away, out the window.

Then he said carefully, “Abuse can happen in wolf communities, same as human ones. But I’ve never heard of it in a fated match. My body is literally wired to please yours. Your pleasure is mine. Your survival is mine. Your tears will instantly lower my aggression if I caused them or raise it if someone else has. I was born to love you. I won’t ever let anyone hurt you. I would die to protect you. I will live to satisfy you–sexually, emotionally, and physically. And if some day, satisfying you meant letting you go–if you ever wanted your freedom–honey, I would give it to you. Even if it killed me to do so.”

The intensity of the moment felt like it would crack open my chest. I neither wanted to cry, nor giggle, even more to let it out. I just held the sensation in my heart. In my chest. It was the feeling of being vulnerable with a man. Of learning to trust another person to take care of my needs when people had failed in the past.

Was that what I was truly afraid of? Being hurt by the one who I now trusted the most?

And then, because we were being real, I decided to share those thoughts out loud. “I think what I’m really scared of is the same thing you’re afraid of for Remy.” Tears swam in my eyes. “My parents’ marriage didn’t work out, and it was painful for all three of us. I guess I’m scared that I’ll learn to trust and then get hurt. I know what it’s like for the child, and I wouldn’t want that for Remy either.”

Wes leaned his forehead against mine. “I guess there are no guarantees, right? I feel that way about Remy every day. Like–I love this kid so much and if anything ever happened–if I ever lost her for some reason–I don’t know if I could go on.” Wes blinked hard, like his eyes were smarting. I wondered if he was thinking about how she’d run off earlier.

A tear leaked from my eye, but I didn’t care. I didn’t need to avoid the tears or the pain. We were facing our deepest darkness together.

Together.

“I want this,” I said with total clarity.

There were no guarantees. Even if we lived our lives out together in a perfect “happily ever after,” one of us would die first. Someone would have a broken heart. It was the inevitability of living. We all had hearts that broke, and we all were going to die. Nothing could protect us from either of those things, and the more we tried to stop them, the less we lived. The less we loved. The less we enjoyed this life we were given.

“I want you,” Wes said. His dick hardened against my belly, and his eyes glowed green, but he waited. I could see the hunger in them, but he didn’t pounce.

“Can we go back to that part where you pin me down and have your ravenous way with me?” I asked.

Wes’ smile was brilliant.

The most blinding thing I’d ever seen.

It registered as pure pleasure in me because I’d caused it. I was the source of his joy.

In a breathtaking swoop, he flipped me on my back and manacled my wrists above my head once again. “Now you’re in trouble, little human,” he growled.

I squirmed beneath him, thrills of heat pulsing through me.

“Show me,” I dared him.