Page 18

18

JOY

It was after dark when I stepped beneath the hot spray with a long sigh. I would go over to Wes’ after I took a shower and felt more like myself.

I tipped my chin down, closed my eyes, and let the one splurge I made when I bought my house–the fancy shower head–beat hot water against my back in just the right way. I’d just come home from my mom’s house, and I was fighting the sensation of defeat.

I wasn’t the kind of person to say I’d had a shitty day, but…if I were, this was one. Definitely.

I groaned aloud, the sound bouncing off the avocado green tiles.

No, I should be grateful. I’d started the day with Wes’ head between my legs, and I’d probably end it that way, too. To say he was talented with his tongue was an understatement. Maybe I was insatiable. Maybe he was just that good, but I came fast. Record speed.

I had zero reasons to complain.

Things could be much worse. I could suffer from depression like my mom.

She’d been in a funk today, which was why I’d gone over. She hadn’t been able to get a new air conditioner which meant she wasn’t sleeping, which meant she couldn’t keep herself together. She’d considered telling Clyde yes to a date, but that made her anxious. What if he changed his mind and turned her down? All the usual girl thoughts circled her brain.

She’d called in sick to work today because she couldn’t get out of bed. When I saw her, she was in a very dark place. I never knew when it was bad enough that I should take her to a hospital or something.

She’d never tried to self-harm, so at least I didn’t have to worry about that.

Still, she was my mom, and I wanted her to be happy. It was hard to watch someone not even try.

To add to my gloominess, the insurance adjuster showed up to inspect the damage, and it sounded like it was going to be weeks before I even found out how much they would pay for the renovations. I could hire someone to do the work sooner, and I’d be reimbursed, but I couldn’t afford it.

I needed to follow up on my idea of picking up some shifts at Cody’s for extra cash. That meant all day in my studio and late nights slinging drinks.

I sighed again because I was tired just thinking about it.

Bright side. Think of the bright side. My business was going great, and the setbacks weren’t something a client saw. I made pottery. It broke. It could be so much worse. I was lucky enough to know Cody and have been a previous employee. It’d be easy for me to transition back. I was lucky to be able to get a fill-in job like that one in such a small town.

I was lucky.

Right?

I stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around myself, and then headed to my bedroom to find some clothes. It was still a disaster inside. The bed pushed up on end, mostly blocking my closet. I hadn’t even been in with a broom to clear the rubble because I wasn’t sure if the roof would collapse on me if I did. There was no light since the ceiling had collapsed and took the sconce with it, so I had to rely on the hallway one to try to see.

“Joy?” The sound of Wes’ deep voice calling from my back door didn’t startle me. It sent a surge of pleasure and comfort through me. Like Wes belonged in my house. In my life.

“I’m in the bedroom,” I called back.

“You’d better not be.”

I smiled at his bossy growl.

“Well, my clothes are in here. I can’t very well run around naked, can I?”

His heavy footsteps announced his approach. “It’s not safe.” In a matter of seconds, he was in the bedroom, picking me up by the waist, and swinging me around to put me back in the hallway. My towel dislodged and dropped in the doorway.

“Fuck, honey.” His eyes seemed to glow bright green as he glowered at me. His gaze dipped to my breasts, and he growled in a low animalistic rumble. “Definitely nothing wrong with naked,” he muttered, stooping to pick up my towel as he took a slow perusal of my body.

I chuckled and felt my nipples harden.

Slowly, taking way more time than was needed, he wrapped the towel back around me, looking his fill first. “ I’ll get your clothes out of there. Fuck, I’m sorry I didn’t think to do it yesterday. But why are you even over here? Not only am I not sure about your roof caving in, but you have broken electrical wires hangin’ in here. You could be electrocuted.”

Some of that sense of defeat started to creep back in. He wasn’t helping me keep my thoughts positive.

My house was a literal disaster, and I had to live like this for weeks if not months.

“Why didn’t you shower at my place?” he demanded.

My shoulders sagged. “I…had a rough day. I just needed to be alone for a little bit to get myself together before I came over.”

“Together?” Wes’ lifted me straight up before I knew what was happening with his forearm beneath my ass. He pinned me against the wall of the hallway and pressed his body against mine, bringing us nose to nose, my feet hovering a foot above the ground. I could feel his hard dick through his jeans, and he had it pressing right against my pussy. I whimpered, then rolled my hips. “What does that mean?”

I sighed. “It means I didn’t want to bother you or Remy with my crankiness or my bad day.”

He huffed out a laugh. “You? Cranky? I think I’m the one who’s always cranky. Honey, you don’t have to get yourself together for me. You don’t have to hide your bad day. Not for Remy, either. She’s four. I know you’ve seen her fuss and have a tantrum. And me, well, I guess I have a grown-up version all the time.”

My eyes smarted. Ack. I didn’t want to cry, even though what he said was funny. And true.

I tried to kiss him, to divert the rush of emotion, but he remained still, not kissing me back.

I drew back, perplexed.

“I’ll fuck your brains out, if that’s what you need, Joy, but maybe what you really need is a good cry. If that’s true, I’d rather hold you and listen.”

A sob rocketed up my throat. I didn’t want to cry. Even standing in the middle of the disaster that was my house, the perfect place to let my feelings drown me.

“Put me down,” I choked.

Wes’ brows were down low. He eased me back to my feet but didn’t let me go. I gave a playful shove at his chest to move him–I sure as hell didn’t want to stand here feeling so exposed while he stared me down–but he didn’t budge.

God, I felt more exposed emotionally than when the towel dropped a minute ago and left me bare.

“Wes,” I breathed.

“It seems to me,” he said slowly, studying me, “that you’re the type of person who is very good at lifting others. You’re cheerful and kind. You’re the sunshine in the middle of a storm.”

I blinked hard, but the tears were starting to fall.

“I love that about you,” he admitted.

He loved that about me.

“But it’s also okay for you to not be okay.”

I leaned my forehead against his broad, muscled chest, starting to cry for real now. His arms banded around me.

“You don’t always have to make lemonade out of lemons. Sometimes, things just suck. Or break, like your damned roof. We can hunker down in the covers together with our arms around each other and just be with each other through the pain. As long as it’s in my bed, not yours.”

Oh my God.

I lost it completely.

I sobbed into Wes’ chest, not even sure where all the emotion was coming from. Probably from half a lifetime of being cheery to my mom’s depression, I supposed.

What would happen if Mom saw me cry? Would she sink even further into one of her funks? I always had to show her what it looked like to be happy.

Wes didn’t move, only stroking his big hand up and down my back. He was my rock, holding me as I allowed it all to come out.

Then, because it felt so out of control to cry and yet also so good, I started to giggle through my tears.

Wes pulled my face away from his now dampened shirt and gazed down with concern. “Are you laughing?”

“Yes. No. I think so,” I laugh-cried. “The crying feels good, so I’m laughing.” I laughed harder, tears streaming down my cheeks.

A puff of laughter came out of his lips.

“You laughed!” I accused, pointing my finger at his face. His smile made me laugh so hard my stomach cramped. I doubled over, slapping his chest.

He chuckled.

I laughed harder.

Then, suddenly, we were on the floor of my hallway, with me cradled on Wes’ lap, leaning into one of his strong arms. I wiped my tears, alternating between laughing and crying.

Wes alternated between chuckles and kissing the top of my head.

Finally, exhausted, I leaned back in his arms and sighed.

He stroked my arm. “What happened today, honey?”

“It was nothing, really. Just that I won’t get the insurance money to fix the house for at least another month or so, and… my mom.”

“She okay?”

“Yes. I mean, physically, yes. Mentally, she’s having a rough time. She’s suffered from depression ever since my parents divorced.”

Wes grunted. “Was it messy?”

I nodded. “It was messy. There was a custody battle that went on for years and years. It was probably more about my dad not wanting to pay child support than that he really wanted me to live with him. My mom just never could function under all the stress of it.”

Wes kissed my bare shoulder. “And you took on the job of lifting her.”

I went still. Had I? “Yeah.” I twisted my neck to look at him. “You’re right, I guess I did.”

“It makes sense, psychologically. She was your mom–the figure you depended on to survive, as a child. Of course, her mental well-being was utmost to your own survival. You became Ms. Sunshine.”

That made me tear up again, compassion for my younger self seeping in. “Yeah, Miss. Toxic Positivity.”

“Not toxic,” Wes assured me. “But maybe you avoid the unpleasant emotions because they scare you.”

I blinked rapidly. “Yeah.” Memories of my mom getting upset if I was sick or sad flashed through my mind. “I didn’t want to make her sad. And I especially didn’t want to end up like her.”

“So she’s not doing well now?”

“Today? No. She isn’t sleeping well, which exacerbates her depression. I brought dinner over and tried to cheer her up, but…” I sighed.

“How can I help?”

“Got an extra air conditioner lying around?” I joked.

“Actually, yes.”

My head popped up. “You do?” I asked, stunned.

He grinned. Actually grinned. It transformed his entire face and made my chest warm. “Yeah. It’s at the ranch. I guess there was a hot spell last summer, and Johnny bought a window unit for his room in the bunkhouse.”

“He’s not using it?”

Wes shook his head. “Nah. Rob had A/C installed. I’ll bring it home tomorrow, and we can take it to your mom’s. I’ll put it in for you. How’s that sound?”

“That sounds amazing. Thank you so much.”

“Good.” He lifted me off his lap and stood. “Right now, I’m going to move your clothes out of the bedroom, and you’re gonna get your sweet ass over to my place. And tonight, after Remy’s in bed, you’ve got a punishment coming for putting yourself in danger again.” Wes’ face took on a wolfish expression.

My pussy clenched. Nipples tightened.

“Oh yeah? What kind of punishment?” I put a purr into my voice.

“The kind where you end up with a red ass and a dripping wet cunt.” Wes’ voice was rough and raspy. It went straight to my lady bits.

My clit pulsed in a slow, steady thrum. I loved him bossy. I loved him grumpy. I loved him heroic and showing up for me in a way no one had before.

It seemed crazy and too soon, but I was falling for this guy. Hard.

He squeezed my ass with a rough, possessive grip, then kissed me like he meant it.

“I can’t wait,” I breathed when he broke the kiss.

His eyes seemed to glow green in the darkness. “Fuck. Me, neither.”