Page 22 of Ravaged Saints (BloodHawks Duet #1)

“Are you okay?”

Aspen asks as we both lie in her bed, staring at the ceiling.

“I am,”

I answer, but the truth is, I don’t know yet. There’s stuff Aspen doesn’t know about Ethan and all the situations around him. Not until I figure out if I’m really doing the right thing.

“I miss our conversations. When it was just the two of us,”

she confides, taking a deep breath.

“Me too.” I huff.

She turns to face me, her expression unreadable. “I fucked Knox, Dante, and Max,”

she says bluntly.

I burst out laughing. “Aspen.”

My body shakes, and she groans, covering her face.

“I’m a nympho.”

There’s a hint of embarrassment, but I can see in her face how amused she is with all of this.

“No, you’re not! Girl, I fucked Ethan and Ryker. You’re just ahead by one!”

I joke, and we both laugh until our eyes glisten with tears.

“Was it good?”

I ask, mostly curious about Dante.

Aspen sits up, grinning. “Oh, they are amazing.”

For a second, I feel like I’m back in my room during high school, talking with my best friend about the boys we liked, and Aspen is my best friend. I would do anything to protect her. I am doing it!

I won’t lie, but there’s a flicker of jealousy when I think about Dante, and it’s not her fault he didn’t want me, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting, but I’m not going to give up on him yet.

Aspen leans in. “You know they all have pierced dicks?”

Her cheeks turn red, and I gasp.

“They do?! What kind?”

I sat up, suddenly very interested.

“Max has one at the head—like two little balls.”

She gestures with her hands, and I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing. “Knox has Jacob’s stairs, I think.”

“Jacob’s ladder?”

I raise my eyebrows.

“Yes!”

She points at me, and we giggle like idiots. “And Dante has both.”

Oh, Dante has both. That’s… unexpected. And very interesting.

“Did it hurt? Jacob’s ladder?”

I ask, trying to play it cool, but I’ve had that on my kinky wishlist for way too long.

Aspen’s blush deepens. “Kind of, it hurt a bit going in, not really hurt. It’s a weird sensation; it feels colder with that steel rubbing inside, but once I stretched…”

She spreads her hands apart as if pushing walls, “It hits every sweet spot.”

She closes her eyes and lies back with a blissful sigh.

“I bet,”

I murmur, watching her with a smile.

She opens her eyes again. “And Ethan and Ryker?”

I shrug. “No piercings, but they’re both big. And Ryker’s girth made me tingle.”

I cover my mouth, and we both collapse into laughter again.

God, this feels good. Talking with Aspen like this, no jealousy, no judgment, just us, but then her face shifts, darker. “Do you trust Ethan?”

I hesitate. It’s subtle, but I know she catches it.

“I do. Why?”

I lean onto my side, facing her, and run my fingers through her long, dark hair.

Aspen bites her lip. “I don’t know, . I have to be honest. I feel like he’s hiding something.”

My stomach twists. “You can trust him. He has some ideas for the base now that you and I are here,”

I say, softly I want her to believe it.

Her brows draw together. “Ideas?”

“Yeah. Nothing too dramatic, but Ethan thinks the guys should be more open to the outside world.”

I choose my words carefully, but Aspen’s expression darkens.

“The outside world is dangerous, . You and I know that. Ethan’s privileged, and he has no idea what it’s really like out there.”

She sits up, her body tensing.

I exhale slowly. “I know. He knows it too. But he’s thinking about the bigger picture: women, children, people who need help. This place could be more than just a hideout.”

Aspen studies me, her blue eyes searching mine. “Is Ethan talking to someone outside the base?”

I shake my head immediately. “No! Of course not, Aspen. He’s not dumb, and neither am I.”

I try to keep sound steady, but my fingers clench under the sheets.

I can’t tell her what we were doing tonight. Ethan is right; none of them would understand, and they’d never allow it, but I need Aspen to see that we’re not the bad guys. That this place could be the beginning of something better.

I’m not dumb. I have my eye on Ethan.

“I don’t think I can trust Ethan, but I trust you, .”

Her tone is sweet, and she holds my hand under sheets.

I fake a yawn, and Aspen rubs her face.

“We really need to get some sleep,”

I say, snuggling deeper into the warmth of the bed.

“Yeah,”

she murmurs, pulling the blanket over her head.

Her breathing evens out, slow and steady, and I remember when it was just the two of us out there, huddled together in the cold. I would fall asleep knowing Aspen would stay up, watching the darkness, keeping me safe, and now here we are, me wide awake, but Aspen, sleeping without a care.

How the tables have turned.

I slip out of bed when the first rays of sunshine pierce through the small window and head upstairs. Ethan, Knox, and Max went to make a round of the base, and Ryker’s on the roof, guarding them, but Dante is eating breakfast alone.

Aspen’s still asleep, so I take the moment for what it is, an opportunity.

I want to see if I can at least make Dante react.

“Good morning, Dante,”

I say softly.

“Morning, .”

His hazel eyes lift to mine, a kindness in his eyes.

I watch as he places a plate on the counter with fruit and milk, and I take a moment to really look at him. He’s dressed in black cargo pants and a tight shirt that clings to every cut of muscle; the veins in his arms stand out against his skin, and my fingers twitch when I see the skull tattoo in his hand.

I smirk. “You must’ve been every nurse’s dream.”

He follows my gaze to his arm, the hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“I was.”

His voice is calm, amused, and exactly how I want it.

I trail a finger along his forearm, feeling the shift of muscle beneath my touch. He tenses.

“,” he warns.

I ignore it. “Shh.”

I push him back just enough to slip between him and the counter, and my hands roam, tracing the firm planes of his chest, moving lower, teasing the line of his abs. My fingers drift to his cock, and I feel it twitch under my touch.

He groans, and a thrill shoots through me, so I reach for his zipper and kneel, but before I can pull it down, Dante grabs my wrist and yanks me up. A sharp sting shoots through my arm, but the pain is nothing compared to the way his eyes pin me in place.

“I said I wasn’t interested, .”

His words come out firm and clipped.

I glance down at the hard bulge in his pants and scoff. “That’s not what it looks like.”

Dante curses under his breath, stepping back like he needs the distance. “Look, you’re beautiful and hot as fuck, but you heard Ethan at the meeting, not without his okay.”

I move closer again. “So if he says yes, you’ll fuck me?”

The words come out sharper than I intend, dripping with something possessive.

He exhales harshly, dragging a hand through his hair, and his whole body tenses. “Shit’s already complicated, . And I like Aspen. I don’t need anyone but her.”

The words land like a slap.

I feel the jealousy coil tight inside me, turning sharp, turning cruel.

“You know she fucked Knox and Max too, right?”

I blurt out, needing to hurt him the way he just hurt me.

He stills.

“Yeah, I know that.”

He’s face is rougher, his fists clenching. “It’s different; I don’t feel shit for you, . Is that what you want me to say?”

The breath is punched from my lungs.

Dante exhales, his face twisting. “Fuck, , that’s not—”

But I don’t want to hear it.

I snarl at him, turning on my heel and storming out before he can take it back.

Fuck him. Fuck them all.

I have my plans. I’m done trying to please them all.

They think they own all the power and that they make all the decisions, that only their opinions matter.

I storm outside, hoping the fresh air will cool my mood, but it doesn’t.

“,”

Dante’s calls for me, and I feel his hand close around my arm, pulling me back.

“I got the message, Dante.”

I yank at his grip, but he doesn’t budge.

“Just give me a minute to explain,”

he says, his tone commanding, sending a sharp thrill through me.

I scoff but cross my arms. “Fine.”

His jaw tightens, and his hazel eyes search mine. “I like Aspen, and I like sharing her.”

He’s hoping for understanding, but he’s not going to get it.

I let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, I got that loud and clear.”

“, come on. You’re happy with Ethan, and I bet Ryker wouldn’t mind having you again.”

My stomach twists at the casual way he says it, like I should just bounce from one man to another as if it doesn’t matter who.

Before I can spit out a reply, Ethan’s cuts in. “Hey, .”

I turn to find him and the others walking in through the gate.

“Everything okay?”

Knox asks, his eyes moving between me and Dante.

“Everything’s perfect,”

I say with a forced smile.

I don’t think and move straight to Ethan, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss. He barely has time to react before his hands are on my ass, lifting me.

“My little horny princess wants to fuck?”

He murmurs against my lips, and I laugh, even though nothing about this feels funny.

“We still have shit to do, Romeo,”

Knox calls out, and Ethan huffs, letting me slide back to the ground. He and the others head inside, leaving me standing there, still seething, still raw.

“Have you eaten anything?”

Aspen’s asks from the doorway.

I shake my head. I wanted to eat Dante, but he’s a stubborn son of a bitch, and he’s getting on my nerves.

Maybe I’m overreacting, but everything since the plague feels sharper, more intense, and being locked in here with these men is fucking with my head.

I need to get a grip; Ethan has a plan, and it’s a good one, not just for him and me, but for Aspen too. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she’ll be better off. This is for her.

Inside, Aspen is curled up on the couch, picking at the plate Dante left earlier. I roll my eyes and drop down beside her. She doesn’t say anything right away, but I feel her watching me, reading me like she always does.

“I like Dante,”

I finally admit.

Her eyes widen slightly. “Okay…”

She drags out the word, waiting for me to say more.

“But he only wants you.”

I wave a dismissive hand, pretending it doesn’t sting.

“Oh.”

Her hand drifts to her chest, and I bark out a laugh.

“It’s not that serious. I’m just being a damn crybaby, and I’m not used to it.”

“It?”

she asks, leaning closer.

“Being rejected.”

The words taste bitter.

Aspen’s lips part. “Oohhh.”

She says it like she’s just discovered the missing piece of some puzzle, and I shake my head at the panic in her face.

“I’m not mad at you. Or Dante… well, maybe I’m a little mad at him,”

I admit with a smirk, and she offers a sympathetic smile.

“But it’ll pass,”

I say, waving it off. “I just haven’t felt like myself in a while. I think I need a good night’s sleep.”

Aspen doesn’t look convinced, and her blue eyes search mine, full of quiet understanding. “I get it. I’m still a mess, not knowing how to feel or what to do. You need time. We both do.”

Her voice is soft but steady, and I get why they like her. She’s sweet but with an edge. That’s why I like her too.

No matter what, I won’t let anything happen to her. Even when I’m mad, even when everything feels like it’s falling apart, she’s the only thing I’d never let go of.

I see Ethan walk by. He moves fast, and the way his lips are pressing makes me think something is wrong. I excuse myself from Aspen and follow after him. He opens the gate and keeps walking, and I follow after him, noticing he is carrying something that looks like a small folder.

“You shouldn’t be following me, princess.”

He says, not turning to face me.

“How did you know?”

I was quiet, stepping slowly on the leaves, and with the wind picking up, how the hell did he notice me?

“I would sense you in the deepest, darkest part of the world, . You are my light.”

He whispers and pulls me for a kiss, and I let myself melt into his strong arms.

He makes me go insane when he is like this— possessive, strong, and romantic. I just wish he was always this way.

He breaks the kiss and grabs my hand. We walk through the bushes, and they sting on my skin. “Avoid the dirt; only step on the leaves,”

he orders.

“Okay,”

I whisper and do as told. I’m guessing he is trying to hide our footprints.

He stops at a large tree and puts the folder under some dried leaves and branches. “If they ask, we came out here to fuck.”

He says, and I nod.

“Why are you placing that here?”

I ask, pointing at the file.

“It’s the next part of our plan. princess, to make a better life for all of us.”

He grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles.

“I can’t wait,”

I say, part of me genuinely excited about the changes he has planned, but beneath that excitement, something tugs at me, an alert, a warning. I know Ethan was never close to the others and they are with each other, but after nearly a decade together, why does he still feel the need to act like this?

“Ethan,”

I whisper. There’s something that’s been gnawing at me, and I need to know the truth.

He turns to face me, curiosity flickering in his eyes.

“Why did you ask me to sleep with Ryker?”

His brows shoot up, surprise flashing across his face before amusement settles in, and a slow, mischievous smirk tugs at his lips.

“Well, babygirl, Ryker was pushing me, and he would have ruined everything we have planned for us.”

His words sound kind, but there’s an edge to it, one I don’t know if I like.

“You wanted to get him in trouble with Max, didn’t you?”

I press, my stomach twisting.

Ethan’s smirk deepens. “I was the one who told Max I thought I heard Ryker calling for him. I knew he’d be upset if he caught you and Ryker fucking. It got Ryker off my back while he scrambles to fix things with Max.”

He shrugs as if toying with someone’s emotions— and my body—wasn’t even worth a second thought.

My chest tightens. “But don’t worry,”

he continues, completely unfazed. “Max and Ryker can’t live without each other. They’ll make up in no time.”

“And me?”

I ask, forcing myself to stay steady.

His head tilts slightly. “You?”

I swallow hard. “You didn’t mind basically selling my body just to keep your plan hidden?”

I don’t want to sound as hurt as I feel, but the crack in my voice betrays me.

Ethan sighs, exasperated. “Come on, , you worked as a call girl. This can’t be the hardest thing you’ve done.”

His demeanor is too casual, too dismissive, and it stings. “And from what I heard, you enjoyed it. You came hard on him.”

Heat rushes to my face, not from embarrassment but from the memories of the way he made me feel.

He steps closer, whispering. “Listen, we all have to make sacrifices, and I knew you’d have fun with Ryker, but I promise I won’t do anything like that again, okay?”

His smile is gentle and reassuring.

But my mind is racing; he won’t, and I won’t let that happen again.

As if sensing my doubts, he moves and grips my thighs, lifting me effortlessly, slamming my back against the rough bark of a tree.

I gasp, legs wrapping around his waist, and his mouth finds my neck; slowly, his tongue teases over my skin before his teeth scrape against it, and a shiver runs down my spine.

“Ethan,”

I breathe. “Fuck me.”

He looks at me, eyes locked, and a devilish smirk slowly appears on his lips. He lowers me to the ground, and his fingers work fast to unbutton my jeans, and before I can take another breath, he yanks them down along with my panties, the cool air hitting my skin and making me tremble, and I should be burning for him, but I’m not.

Dante flashes through my mind.

Shit.

I close my eyes, trying to erase the thought as Ethan lifts me again, and I cling to his shoulders, my breath hitching as he lines himself up, his free hand gripping my thigh, then, with one sharp thrust, he slams inside me.

A yelp tears from my throat as he buries himself deep, forcing my body to take him. The stretch, the sting, it’s almost too much.

“God, Ethan!”

My tone shakes, and I dig my nail into his shoulders with all my force.

“You’re so fucking tight,”

he groans, driving his hips up harder as his grip tightens, pinning me against the tree as he fucks me at an unforgiving pace.

It’s too fast. Too rough. And exactly what I need.

I arch, the friction sending sparks through me, my body climbing toward the edge. My hand slips between us, fingers circling my clit. Ethan watches, his eyes dark and wild.

“That’s it,”

he growls. “Clench that pretty pussy around my cock like a good girl.”

His voice is raw, almost feral, and it unravels me. The heat builds, spiraling higher and higher until my body snaps. My orgasm slams into me like a violent wave, tearing a strangled cry from my lips.

Ethan doesn’t slow. If anything, he fucks me harder, chasing his own release. One hand moves to my throat, fingers wrapping tight, cutting off my air just enough to make me lightheaded.

I lose myself in the sensation, in the weight of his body, the bruising grip of his hands.

“Fuck,”

he grunts, his movements stuttering as his muscles go rigid. He buries himself deep one last time, a guttural groan spilling from his lips as heat floods inside me.

I look up over his shoulder, and a shadow lingers behind the trees. I smile and bury my face in Ethan’s neck.