Page 16 of Ravaged Saints (BloodHawks Duet #1)

I enter Ethan’s room, and he’s lying in bed pretending to read a book. I know him; he’s not the reading type.

“So, how was it?”

he asks, but his eyes don’t look up from the page. His white shirt pulls from the seams, and I notice how tense he is.

“It was good.”

My body is still trembling. I can still feel Ryker’s hands on me, and that memory makes me clench my legs.

“Better than me?”

His eyes finally meet mine, sharp and serious, with a flicker of something almost bitter beneath.

“No, of course not, Ethan.”

I shake my head, quick to deny it. I’m not stupid—I’ve been around men like him my whole life. Jealous, insecure, and while he doesn’t seem the violent type, I’m not about to risk pushing him.

The first couple of weeks, Ethan was almost submissive to me, but he kept changing, becoming more possessive, more dominant, and more dangerous.

He stands from the bed, his muscles tight, his gaze dropping to the marks on my hips. Ryker’s fingerprints are already darkening into bruises.

“Did you like that?”

He gestures at them, his tone clipped.

“Ethan,”

I whisper, keeping my voice as calm as I can. His face carries a snarl that makes me shiver with something close to fear. “You’re the one who told me to make a move on him, to let him fuck me.”

“I know.”

His tone sharpens, his eyes scanning my body. “I just didn’t think you’d enjoy it so much. I heard your moans, . Your screams.”

He steps closer, and my heart races, but I stay rooted. Men like Ethan are wolves, and if you show fear, they’ll pounce.

“I faked it, Ethan,”

I lie smoothly, rolling my eyes for dramatic effect. “He was on edge. I helped him release it, and, like you said, Max saw it.”

I still don’t understand why Ethan wanted this to happen. Ryker and Max have been nothing but nice to me since I arrived, but things shifted after they showed up this afternoon. Ethan pulled me into this room, asking if I’d ever thought about fucking any of the guys. I’d said yes, but I didn’t mean Ryker. I was more into Dante; there’s something raw about him and Knox.

But Knox has been distant ever since I stopped him from going after Aspen. He’s the leader of their pack, and I know better than to get on his bad side even more.

Ethan grabs me and pulls me hard against him. “Are you dripping with his cum?”

he whispers into my ear, and his teeth sink into my neck so hard I can feel the sting of the skin cutting.

“Ethan, please,”

I whimper, but his hand slides down between my legs. His fingers find my clit, and he thrusts one inside me without warning with such rough force that a sharp yelp escapes me. The sting of pain shoots up my spine as my walls tighten involuntarily around him.

“You’re wet,”

he mutters, his free hand grabbing my chin and forcing me to meet his gaze, and I see it in his eyes. He isn’t pleased.

“For you, baby. You know that,”

I purr, the words coming easily, though my pulse thunders in my ears.

“Right.”

His tone is cold and flat as he pulls his finger out with the same force, and I close my legs. He turns and wipes it on the sheet. “Good girl.”

I study him carefully, my breath catching. There’s something darker in his eyes tonight; a shadow I haven’t seen before. Why is he acting like this?

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

I ask, softening my tone to coax him.

“In time, Blondie. When I know I can trust you.”

He smirks.

“Now, go take another shower,”

he tone lighter but laced with an edge. “You’ve still got Ryker’s cum in your pussy, and I can’t fuck you like that.”

He laughs, but I can tell he means every word.

I nod silently, grabbing my clothes and wrapping the towel around me as I head back to the showers.

When I step inside, Aspen’s already there, the water cascading over her curvy frame, and I take a deep breath, moving to the shower beside her. I haven’t been the best friend lately. Ethan requires my full attention, and I think he doesn’t enjoy seeing me with Aspen. We see each other during meals, and that’s it. I miss her…

“I’m sorry we haven’t had time to talk—”

I start, but she cuts me off with a chuckle.

“Oh, , please.”

Her tone is light, and her smile is the most relaxed I’ve seen her have. “Girl, we’re just learning how to navigate all of this, but we’re happy…”

Her words surprise me, but I smile back. “I am,”

I say softly. “Are you?”

Aspen’s come a long way. When we first arrived, she was terrified of intimacy, but since she got locked in her room, something’s shifted in her. She is more open to all of this.

“I’ve learned something,”

she says while rinsing the shampoo from her dark hair. “While I was locked in that room, I thought about what you said.”

She shrugs. “I never really had a sex life. I was a virgin until Cash, and he was my only experience. But now? Now I know how good sex can be and how entertaining it is.”

Her words are light, amused. No judgment. That’s Aspen. She's always so honest, but never condescending.

“Can I ask you something?”

Aspen says, turning off the faucet and reaching for a towel.

“Of course. You can always ask me or tell me anything, Aspen,”

I say, rinsing the last of the soap from my body.

“Doesn’t Ethan mind that you had sex with Ryker?”

She asks, her eyes locked on mine.

“No.”

He asked me to do it, but I’m not telling her that. “I think they all expect to share us, like one big, happy, fucked-up family,”

I laugh, and Aspen chuckles, shaking her head.

“Are you afraid Knox won’t share you?”

I ask, watching her carefully.

Her expression shifts, her eyes clouded with worry. “I don’t know.”

“Do you want any of the other guys?”

I press, grabbing my towel and wrapping it around me.

“Oh God, I don’t know,”

she sighs, slipping into her panties and bra. “I had a thing with Dante, but that was before Knox and I had sex.”

“Was Knox the first man since Cash?”

I ask, and she nods, her cheeks blushing.

I give her a reassuring smile. “You’re a woman, strong and beautiful. Do whatever makes you happy, and if that is just Knox, go for it, but if you want any of the other guys, you should be able to.”

I should follow my own advice. Maybe I should tell Ethan that I do want Dante. It’s my life, and Ethan isn’t my boyfriend. We’re just having fun, right?

“You’re right,”

Aspen says, her smile soft but hesitant. “I think I just need more time to talk with the guys and see what they think.”

Her words are confident, but I can see the doubt lingering in her eyes. She’s questioning everything she’s done, and I don’t blame her.

“Knox has given hints that he doesn’t mind being with me and Dante, but…”

Her eyes lock on mine.

“You’re afraid he might not want to share you when he’s not present?”

I ask softly, and she nods.

“Well, Knox looks possessive, so maybe you should take a break with him and focus on the others, like Max. He seems sweet,”

I say and realize that I don’t want to see her with Dante. She already had something with him. I know they didn’t fuck, but still, it’s my turn now…

She smiles and nods, getting all her stuff. She leaves the bathroom to her room, and I head to Ethan’s room. I’m relieved he isn’t here because I need a moment alone. This thing with him and Ryker has me on edge, like I’m missing a crucial piece of a puzzle I didn’t know existed.

After getting dressed, I head upstairs. Dante and Knox are on the couch, deep in conversation. On a whim, I decide to join them, sliding into the seat between them without a word, and they both stop talking.

The book I’ve been reading sits on the table in front of me, so I pick it up, letting my eyes scan the words while my mind spins elsewhere, and from the corner of my eye, I see Dante glance at Knox.

“Where’s Ethan?”

Dante asks.

I shrug, my eyes still on the book. “Not downstairs.”

I say calmly, but my breathing betrays me, hitching slightly.

I shift, my leg brushing against Dante’s thick thigh; he doesn’t move away, so I glance up, unable to resist looking at his face.

God, he’s hot as hell. Built like a damn bull, all muscle and strength. Those hazel eyes paired with his pale skin and dark chocolate hair give him this Doberman-like intensity I love. He’s the opposite of Ethan’s more regal, polished look, and it does something to me.

“,”

Dante says softly, pulling me out of my thoughts. His deep voice makes my stomach twist.

“Yeah?”

I purr, resting my hand on his thigh.

He looks at it, his jaw tightening before his hand wraps around mine. “I’m not—”

He cuts himself off, his expression softening. “You’re with Ethan,”

he says, but I can tell it’s an excuse.

“Aspen’s with Knox, and she still kissed Max,”

I counter, pulling my hand back.

“She’s not with me,”

Knox says sharply. “We fucked. That’s it.”

I glare at him. “That’s not how she feels.”

Knox puts down the magazine in his hands, narrowing his eyes at me. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

What am I even saying? Aspen’s a mess, and I’m pissed. The way Knox and Dante are looking at me now makes me feel like I’m not enough. I’m always enough, and this jealous feeling creeps up before I can control it.

I shrug, trying to play hard to get.

“, did Aspen say something?”

Dante asks, his gaze steady.

“Not exactly,”

I say, scrambling. “I think she regrets the whole thing.”

The words leave my mouth before I can stop them.

“What?”

Knox’s tone sharpens, his hands tightening on the magazine, crumpling the edges.

He and Dante exchange a look.

“I mean, you, Max, and Dante—everyone’s making moves on her. She’s overwhelmed and told me she doesn’t want it anymore.”

Knox leans back against the couch, dragging a hand down his face. “Fuck.”

I hit a nerve. He cares about her, no matter how much he pretends she’s just a body to fuck. I’ve seen the way he looks at her.

Dante, though, keeps his eyes on me. It feels like he’s reading me, peeling back every layer.

“So Aspen told you that?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

I shrug again, hating how defensive I sound. Why am I doing this?

“, babygirl,”

Ethan’s voice comes from behind us. I shoot to my feet, spinning toward him.

“I was looking for you,”

I say quickly.

Dante stands too, his posture rigid and commanding. “Ethan, get Max and Ryker. We’re having a meeting.”

Ethan nods, disappearing outside. Knox pushes off the couch, standing beside Dante in front of the couch, and I swallow hard. Shit, what have I done?

“Aspen!”

Dante calls out to the stairs, and I hear her answer faintly, then the soft sound of her steps on the steel stairs. When she appears, her messy bun, sweatpants, and oversized shirt make her look younger and vulnerable. Her cheeks flush as her eyes land on Dante and Knox, who tower over the coffee table in the middle of the room.

Jealousy burns under my skin, and I hate it. Aspen is like a sister to me. I can’t be this person—not after everything she’s done for me.

The guys file in one by one, taking their seats. Ethan sits next to me, his presence grounding and possessive all at once.

“We need to figure this out,”

Dante starts. “There’s a new dynamic with the two of you here, and we need clarity.”

Knox nods, stepping forward. “It’s been just the five of us since the plague. Now, we’ve got you two,”

he says, his eyes lingering on Aspen. She shifts under his gaze, looking down at her hands.

“We need to know how this is going to work,”

Dante says, picking up where Knox left off. “No one is going to force you into anything, but we need to know what you both want.”

Knox adds, “Do you want to be shared between us? Or do you want just one of us? If so, how is that going to work?”

“I can share,”

Ethan says with a laugh, leaning back casually.

Knox’s jaw tightens. “It’s not your decision, kid. It’s theirs.”

Dante looks at me first, his expression softer. “?”

My throat tightens, and my fingers fidget in my lap. “I don’t have a problem with any of you,”

I start, feeling Ethan tense beside me. I swallow hard, as I continue. “But I prefer Ethan.”

The truth is, I don’t even know what I want. Ethan’s possessiveness excites me, but there’s something darker under the surface I can’t ignore. I want to figure him out more than I want to mess around with the others, but then there is Dante. God, I’m so confused!

“So you want to be shared if Ethan allows it? Is that what you’re saying?”

Dante’s tone is serious, but there’s an edge of amusement.

I nod, and Ethan smirks like he’s some kind of king on a throne only he wants.

Ryker chuckles from the other couch, a dangerous glint in his eyes I haven’t seen before. “So, he has given you permission to fuck me?”

Ethan answers before I can. “She wanted to, and I said go for it.”

He’s lying. Why is he lying?

Ryker’s gaze flicks between us, a slow smirk spreading across his face.

“Aspen?”

Dante call for her, turning everyone’s attention to her. She stiffens, her hands clenching in her lap.

“I—”

Her voice falters, and her wide eyes dart to me, silently begging for help. I give her a reassuring smile.

“I don’t know,”

she whispers. “I mean—”

She pauses, her gaze landing on Knox. He stiffens, his muscles tightening.

“You can be honest, doll,”

Dante says, his tone gentle, his face with a soft smile, just for her…

“I feel an attraction to all of you,”

she admits. “But unlike you, I don’t have the experience. And… things are moving too fast.”

Knox’s jaw tightens, but Dante gives him a warning look, forcing him to ease up.

“You regret what we did?”

Knox asks, his words rough, though quieter, a trace of worry slipping through his usual command.

Her eyes snap to his, fire flashing in them. “No! Of course not! Do you?”

Knox frowns; he meets my eyes before looking back at her, his gaze softening. “Of course not, pet.”

Dante clears his throat. “Let’s recap. doesn’t mind sharing but wants Ethan’s approval. Aspen is still figuring things out, so we’re taking it slow. Sound about right?”

“Yes,”

I say firmly, Ethan’s hand tightening on my thigh.

“Yes,”

Aspen whispers.

Max stands up. “Well, let me use this moment to bring up something else.”

All eyes shift to him, and Dante smirks. “Since we’re all… well, not all, but—”

Max stumbles over his words, and Dante slaps him on the back with a chuckle.

“We have some IUDs from a women’s clinic we raided months ago,”

Dante says, his voice carrying that commanding yet soft edge that makes my heart beat faster. “We want to know if you ladies want them—to prevent pregnancies.”

Knox crosses his arms, frowning.

“What about condoms?”

Ryker asks, his gaze flicking to me. We hadn’t used any protection, but I already have an IUD that’s still good.

“Most of them are past their expiration, and I don’t know how safe they are,”

Max answers with a hint of worry.

“I want one,”

Aspen says, and the guys turn to her.

Dante steps closer. “It hurts to put it in, and I’ll be the one doing it, doll.”

She nods without hesitation. “I trust you.”

Knox exhales sharply, stepping back before walking outside, tension thick in the air.

“And you, ?”

Max asks, his tone softer now.

I offer a small smile. “I already have one, and it’s still good.”

I shrug, catching the flash of relief in Ryker’s eyes.

I stand up, and Ethan leans in and whispers, “Good girl, maybe I can trust.”

He grabs my hand and pulls me down the stairs.

“You are going to tell me what’s going on?”

I press, and he grins, a dangerous look in his eyes that makes me shiver.

“Maybe.”