Page 5

This time was different from the others. I could feel it. It wasn’t just my mind that moved, but my whole body. One moment, I was standing in the garden and the next, purple wispy smoke wrapped around me, engulfing me one second and then dissipating in the next.

Breathing heavily, I blinked rapidly as I took in my surroundings. The library. I was in Zane’s library.

I gathered my skirts in my hands, not giving myself time to think about how I’d gotten there. If my magic had finally done what I wanted, who was I to question it?

Besides, if I questioned it too closely, the queen might get other ideas and send me back before I got what I came for.

My feet moved on their own, dragging me down the stacks of books, looking for that blood red head of hair. By the time I’d rounded the entire library, my hope had waned.

Where was he?

The magic couldn’t have been wrong. It brought me directly to them the last time. Why would it bring me here this time if he wasn’t here?

When I felt as if I might scream in frustration, my eyes caught on a door almost hidden behind a pillar. My footsteps were slow and steady as I made my way to it, not sure what I would find on the other side.

I turned the handle and pushed the door open. Piles and piles of books filled the room, some reaching so high that they almost touched the ceiling. A few other books were strewn about haphazardly, forgotten or left to come back to later. My eyes traced the room until I found the desk, a blood red head bent over a pile of papers.

Zane.

The mage lifted his head briefly, pulling his glasses off long enough to rub the bridge of his nose before returning to whatever it was he was reading. The bags under his eyes had gotten worse. The hair in his braid had begun to fall out as if he couldn’t be bothered to even brush his hair.

A fist clenched around my heart at the sight of him.

When I stepped into the room, his head didn’t even move from his papers. He waved a hand lazily toward the door. “I’ll come eat when I’m done.”

Closing the door behind me, I wandered over to the desk and pulled the book out from beneath a pile of papers. “ The Histories of Phrygia and Their Rulers ? Quite an interest in history now.”

Zane’s head snapped up at my voice. His eyes widened, his mouth stuttering as he stared at me. “Eva. Wh...what are you doing here?”

I arched a brow, the expression on his face comical. “That’s what you want to know? What am I doing here? Not how I got here or where I’ve been?” I smiled gently, setting the book back on the desk. “Really, Zane. I would think you’d already have a line of questions waiting for me.”

“I did... I mean, I do.” Zane pushed his chair back and stood, making his way around the desk to stand in front of me. His fingers curled and uncurled at his sides as if stopping himself from touching me. “Are you alright?”

I walked my fingers along the edge of his desk, peering up at him beneath my lashes. “Physically, yes. Confused and worried about what’s going to happen to me.”

Zane stepped closer, his robe brushed against my skirts. “Of course, you would be. I can’t imagine how you must feel right now. There’s plenty who are calling for your death.”

“But... not you?” I lifted my chin slightly, reaching a hand out to stroke the length of his braid.

“No, Eva.” His warm hand engulfed mine, holding my hand gently in his own. “No. None of us want to see harm come to you.”

“That’s good to know.” A step closer and I could feel his body heat against mine. “I don’t want us to be enemies, Zane. I couldn’t bear it.” Bringing my other hand up, I cupped the side of his face, drawing my thumb along the bruising under his eyes. “You’re not getting enough sleep.”

He leaned into my touch, closing his eyes briefly. “I don’t want to be enemies either. I will be honest with you, Eva. I’m not sure what to do. None of us do. We are caught between the council and our love for you.”

My brows rose sharply.

“I just mean...” Zane blushed and lowered his gaze. “We all care for you. But the council wants the person responsible for what happened at the party.”

I huffed and dropped my hands. “They want the queen then. I’m not her. You know better than anyone what it’s like to have something inside of you that can’t be controlled.”

Zane grabbed my hands, holding them tightly. “You know I do.” He pressed one of my hands to the sigil on his chest. “This thing inside of us is very different. I cannot control the demon inside of me, but you, you can find a way to find peace with the queen, I know it.”

“A person can wish for a melon to fit inside of a teacup but push it too hard and it will shatter.”

His lips ticked up at the sides. “Too true. Now then, it seems as if you have a story to tell, some reason to be here?”

I push him away with a grin. “I’ll make you a deal.” Walking across the room, I moved several piles of books off a couch and sat down, patting the seat next to me. “You rest and I’ll talk.”

“Only for a moment.” Zane sighed and pulled his glasses off, rubbing his eyes, the wariness in his face stark.

I hummed in agreement.

Zane settled down on the couch beside me. I pressed a hand to his shoulder, drawing him down until his head laid in my lap. Taking his glasses from him, I stroked my hand down his hair, indulging in the silky strands.

“How did you get out of the prison?” Zane asked, letting out a sigh with each stroke of my fingers.

“Eyes closed,” I murmured. Once his eyes were closed, I continued, “I didn’t break out of the prison, if that is what you are all thinking.”

“Did someone help you?” Zane's voice grew low on the edges of sleep.

I hummed. “Yes, but I won’t tell you who.”

“What?” Zane tried to push up out of my lap. I shoved him back down with a stern look before resuming my stroking.

“I won’t tell you, yet. Because I don’t know who might be listening and then where would I be? Back in that prison, likely, or worse.”

“We wouldn’t let anything happen to you,” Zane promised, then let out a long yawn, his eyes dipping closed again.

“I know,” I murmured, letting the back of my fingers slide down the side of his face. “I know you won’t...” A short snore came from Zane and I smiled down at him before looking away. “But you can’t protect me forever.”

The sounds of Zane sleeping filled my ears. My fingers busied themselves untangling his hair from his messy braid while my thoughts wandered. I needed to talk to Zane about how to control the queen and yet, with him here in my lap, so peaceful, I couldn’t bring myself to care enough to wake him.

I hadn’t sat there for more than twenty minutes or so before the door opened. Adam’s head poked in, searching for Zane at his desk.

"Zane, we need to talk about the wards...” His brow furrowed at Zane’s empty seat. For a moment, I thought he might leave without ever seeing me until Zane took that moment to snort and mumble in his sleep.

Mahogany colored eyes darted to the couch and widened as he took me and Zane in. I raised a finger to my lips, quieting him.

“He shouldn’t go so long without sleep. None of you should.” I looked pointedly at Adam. “Most of all Zane. It’s harder to control the thing inside of him when he’s exhausted.”

“And you would know?” Adam stepped further into the room, leaning against the edge of Zane’s desk.

I huffed a laugh, smiling slightly. “I wouldn’t begin to know what to do to control the queen. I’m being jerked around like a puppet on a string, and all I want to do is live.”

“Is that why you’re here?” Adam crossed his arms over his chest, peering down at me not with the judgement of someone interrogating me but concern of a friend.

My gaze returned to Zane, my fingers resuming their path. “I hoped Zane would give me some insight into what I could do to find... peace in myself. I don’t want to be this, Adam. Afraid of what she might do next. Who she might hurt.”

My eyes watered, meeting his gaze. “How can I protect you from myself?”

“Let us help you.” Adam stepped away from the desk, moving toward me like I was some skittish fowl seconds away from bolting. “We can talk to the council and put this all behind us.”

I snorted. “And are you saying this as Adam or as the Arch Mage? I trust the council members less than I trust the raging torrent inside of me to turn into a mewling kitten. They didn’t like or trust me when they thought I was nothing more than a dirty human. What do you think they will do now, knowing what I can do? What she can do?”

Adam opened his mouth, but I stopped him.

“She hates mages, Adam. All of them. She wants them to die screaming.”

He jolted to a stop in front of me. “Do you know why?”

“Does it matter why?” I scoffed, lifting my face to the ceiling. “She feels wronged by them and, from what I’ve seen, I don’t blame her. What the mages do to the humans is wrong, Adam. Don’t you see that?”

Adam knelt before me. “Yes, I know. Change is a treacherous mistress to introduce and even harder when those in power would rather court the whores they are used to. But I want to know, Eva.” His hand sat on top of the one stroking Zane’s hair. “Do you hate us?”

The fire inside of me burned at the sight of Adam. The Arch Mage knelt before me within touching distance, killing distance. The hand under Adam’s curled into a fist.

Panic gripped me. I didn’t want to hurt Adam, but the queen did. She didn’t like that he was the face of the mages. The king, as one would say. If she killed him, then she could take his place.

“No.” I pulled my hand away from his talking to the queen, not Adam’s question.

“Eva?” He reached for me again.

“No.” I shook my head, my breath coming in rapid pants. I had to get out of here. Now. Before the queen could get her hands on Adam. Once more my magic swelled around me, wrapping me in purple smoke.

Adam’s shocked face was the last thing I saw as I managed to get out, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I found myself back in Rebecca’s garden a moment later. Sinking down on the cobblestone by the fountain, I leaned against the rim, my chest heaving as tears burned my eyes.

I had to get a handle on the queen, or everything I care about would be destroyed.