Page 35

It almost felt like a lifetime ago when they had first brought me to their home, a quivering, innocent damsel, overwhelmed by this new world and the men who had saved her.

Now, I walked down the same hallways, a different person but still the same. Izzy barked and growled somewhere in the house, and the thudding of feet told me Blake was chasing her. I passed by the windowed doors of the chapel and saw Zane laying on a bench, his eyes closed.

The temptation to enter was strong. There were so many things that I needed to say to him. I knew he blamed himself for what happened, and I wasn’t sure anything I said would make him listen. Instead, I dropped my hand from the window and stepped back.

I needed to talk to him and yet someone else pulled at my mind. Someone else dragged me by my heart from the chapel and down the hallway until I could hear the clattering of dishes in the kitchen.

With a hand on the door frame, I watched the scene before me. My heart swelled, thinking back to the time it had been me trying to make a simple dish and failing on my own. Adam hadn’t hesitated to show me how, his body warm and hand wrapped around mine while my heart puttered in my throat.

Now, Adam stood alone in the kitchen, a pan on the stove, and yet his eyes weren’t watching the food he cooked. They stared off at nothing at all, his brows drawn together and a little frown on his lips. I wanted to kiss that expression away.

“It’s going to burn,” I said to announce my presence.

Adam flinched and glanced down at the pan, a curse slipping from his lips before he turned the stove off and sat the pan aside with a long sigh. “I suppose I’m too distracted to cook right now.”

“Maybe,” I mused, sliding into the chair at the island.

My eyes tracked Adam as he moved around the kitchen, putting a cup beneath the machine for coffee and pushing a button. The scent of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, and I inhaled it. One of my favorite smells in this time outside of the men I loved so dearly.

“Coffee?”

I glanced away from the machine to where Adam held up a lavender colored mug, a pretty flower decorating the side of it. I smiled at the sight. “Yes, please.”

Silence spanned the room while Adam made coffee. He poured the milk cream into my cup before sliding it to me. Leaning his elbows on the island, he held his own cup and stared at me.

I matched his gaze, wondering what was on his mind. He didn’t give anything away. His face was like a puzzle I wanted to solve. For once, he wasn’t using his little red book to hide behind the awkwardness.

“I wanted to—”

“What happened—”

We both stopped talking, and I flushed, wiggling in my seat before nodding at him. “Go ahead.”

Adam placed his cup down and pulled at the nape of his neck. “Look, what happened with Gage, I don’t expect anything from you. I mean, I understand if it was just an ‘in the moment’ thing. You’re not ready to forgive me and I get it. I do. If there was something I could do to make it up to you, I would do it.”

I grinned over my cup. “Are you offering to be my toy like Gage?”

Adam’s throat bobbed deliciously, and the thought of having Adam at my mercy thrilled me more than it should have at that moment.

“If that’s what you want.”

I sipped from my cup and watched him over the rim. “I would love nothing more than to have you begging for me, Adam.”

His eyes darkened, and it took everything in me to stay still and not launch myself at him right then and there.

I couldn’t, not yet. There were things that still had to be said.

“But I don’t think a bit of bondage will fix what’s broken between us.” I arched a brow at him.

“No,” Adam breathed out. “I suppose it won’t.”

“You lied to me,” I stated matter-of-factly.

“I did.”

“You pretended you didn’t know who I was.” The rage I’d felt when I previously thought about his transgressions wasn’t there this time.

“I know, and I’m sor—”

“I’m not done,” I interjected, locking my gaze with his. “Not only did you withhold information about who I was, but you didn’t give me the choice to fall in love with you the right way. With me knowing exactly who you were.”

Adam licked his lips, waiting for me to let him speak.

“I hate Snow,” I admitted, tracing my finger along the edge of my cup. “I hated her father and everything he represented. Even more so, I despised the mages who tortured and killed my mother simply for loving one of them. You knew all this and still you hid it from me.”

I paused for a moment and then breathed out, “Why?”

“Because I wanted—”

“Don’t tell me it was to protect me. You didn’t know me. I was an evil queen in a madwoman’s diary. You had no reason to want to protect me.”

Adam didn’t speak for a moment and then his voice came out low and pained. “I... I was ashamed.”

“Ashamed?”

“When I read the diaries, I thought they were just ramblings of a madwoman. Someone who was paranoid up until the day she died. It wasn’t until I decided to cross reference the diaries that I realized they might not have been so crazy.”

Adam placed his cup down and stepped around the island, stopping near my hands. “This woman my ancestor spoke of was fierce, vindictive, and as cruel as she was beautiful. She blamed all her problems on Snow, even after she was locked away. And yet there was no history of this ruler. No mention of an evil queen who killed her king and was locked away in a tower.”

I snorted. “Snow saw to that.”

“I know.” Adam’s fingertips touched mine. “While she left the diaries, she left us woefully unprepared for the magnificent and terrifying creature inside that tower.”

I wasn’t sure if I was offended or pleased by his description of me.

“I thought I was going into that tower to slay a monster.” Adam paused, clasping my hand. “Then I saw you...” His thumb stroked mine in a slow and hypnotizing motion. “God, you were so beautiful. I couldn’t reconcile the monster Snow had described with this woman before me.”

“To be fair, I wasn’t in my right mind then.” I breathed out a breath, closing my eyes. “I sometimes wonder if that’s how I would have been, had I not been forced to watch my mother die.”

Adam pinched my chin, turning my face to him. “You needed to experience her death to be the strong and fierce woman you are today. I wouldn’t wish that hurt on anyone, but I also wouldn’t want you any other way than the way you are right now.”

I placed my hand on his and pushed it away from my face. “And yet you fought me at every turn. You tied yourself to Rebecca.” He opened his mouth to protest. “Even if it was fake, it still hurt me. Then you locked me up... again! You say you love me, Adam. But maybe it's the version of me that you think I am that you love. Not me. Not the Evil Queen.”

Adam grabbed my face between his hands and pulled my face close. “You are NOT evil.”

His mouth slammed against mine, pulling a small whimper from me. As soon as it happened, he pulled away.

“You killed Master Tuck.” He kissed me again.

“You caused me all kinds of headaches.” His hands were in my hair this time when he kissed me.

“Then when you disappeared, I almost died from worry.”

When he kissed me this time, I kissed him back, grabbing onto his shoulders with as much fierceness as he held me. I tried to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away with a smirk.

“Do you know how much paperwork you’ve made for me? How many hours I spent with Gage destroying any evidence that you were responsible for the party, the tower, and then Healer Beatriz? I’ve spent more time cleaning up after you than doing my job.”

His thigh shoved between my legs as he dragged me off the chair and into him. “Then I had to watch as my friends turned from me one by one, falling for you just like I have. The jealousy I felt knowing that you let them touch you, kiss you, and yet I had to keep myself apart.”

Adam ground his thigh against my core. “All I wanted to do was hide you away from everything. To spank that delectable ass until you forgot all about your revenge.”

I moaned against his mouth, grinding myself down on his leg.

“But no.” He jerked back, breathing heavily. “You had to be a pain in my ass and get caught.”

I frowned at him. “You caught me.”

“No,” Adam growled. “Jetta knew you were coming and was going to make you one of his experiments. I convinced him otherwise. If Gage and I hadn’t been there to stop you, you’d be strapped down to one of his tables now. I can’t think about that without wanting to kill someone.”

“Then why didn’t you let me kill him?” I shoved at his chest. “If you’d just let me get rid of them, this would all be over now and we could be together.”

Adam grabbed my arms, not letting me pull away. “Because they would vilify you.”

I blinked at him.

“If you killed the other council members, their friends would make sure that everyone knew that you did it. Nick’s plan to have you show the world you were fighting for the humans was a good idea, but it wouldn’t have gone the way you all wanted.”

I shook my head, disbelief in my voice. “That’s not true. They want to be free. There are other mages who want to free humans, too. Rebecca and Nick both said so.”

Adam gave me a sad smile. “That’s true in part. But don’t think for one moment that they wouldn’t let you take all the blame if the other regions came to fix the problem.”

“And I’m a problem that needs to be fixed?” I gaped at him, unable to believe what he was saying.

“No, no, Eva.” He smoothed his hands down my arms. “You’re not a problem. You’re mine . You’re ours . And I’m going to help you destroy the council and free the humans. Because you were right. If I don’t take a stand, no one else will. I won’t let you be the scapegoat for a half-assed revolution.”

Adam released me and stalked out of the room along with my heart.