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Chapter twenty-five

Lark

Monday, March 10, 2025

Y awning, I stretch my arms over my head, cracking my eyes open. I'm groggy, but not enough to have forgotten where I am or who should be sitting beside me.

I glance around me, confirming what I already know. Gianni's gone.

I head to the kitchen and see that the stove clock says it’s just after midnight. Shit .

Frantically looking for the boys, I see them cuddled together on the bed in the living room. Two pink, phallic-shaped notes are stuck to my counters. One reads the door code to Gianni's place, and the other is a note letting me know that he walked the boys, fed and watered them .

Oh, my fucking heart.

This man, this gorgeous, haunted man, is going to be the absolute death of me.

I know very little about him, and yet, he's somehow managed to show me more kindness in a few short weeks than my ex did in six years.

***

I crawl under my covers, ready to pass out, when my cell vibrates on the nightstand beside me.

Madison

Not me getting an arrest warrant from an expired parking meter in October 2023.

Madison

AN ARREST WARRANT!

You've got to be shitting me.

Kira

NO WAY

Kira

How much is the reward if someone calls and tells them where you're at?

Kira

Asking for a friend…

I'm the friend.

Madison

I'm literally cracking up. This county is just really quiet I guess.

Madison

I'll ask them. Maybe if I turn myself in, it's free?

Kira

You'll look good in orange.

Agreed, it'll really complement your eyes.

Madison

I loved Orange Is The New Black!

Madison

*image of official envelope*

Madison

*image of official summons*

THE COMMONWEALTH OF PENNSYLVANIA VS MADISON HARTLEY!!!

Kira

What do we do now?

Madison

It feels very official…

That's probably because it is…

Are we all going? I feel like this would be a good party story. Can I go with you?

Madison

It's $160. I'll just pay it and hopefully keep my license.

Do you have a GoFundMe? I'll donate $10.

Kira

Same here.

Kira

Ask Daddy Hughes for a donation!

Please never call him that again.

Madison

Jesus Christ

Jade

*fire emoji, US flag emoji, fire emoji*

Madison

I want to live in a lawless society.

Jade

That's exactly what a criminal would say ??

Madison

This is just the start for me.

Madison

Money laundering is next.

You guys are out of control…

Madison

I mean, if I'm gonna commit a crime, it's going to be for my financial gain. NOT because I didn't move my car when I went to get a bagel.

Kira

Is James prepared to be an empty nester?

Madison

We will arrange conjugal visits I guess.

Jade

You are hereby CANCELED by the commonwealth for toxic parking and ghosting.

Kira

Man, I can't believe Mads is getting arrested…

Kira

*insert photo of custom made navy shirts reading "The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania V. Madison Hartley"*

Kira

I'm accepting pre-orders, ladies!

I'll take three! One for me and each of the dogs!

Kira

Coming right up!

Jade

Jackie and I will take two, thanks.

Madison

You think they'll let me wear that instead of the jumpsuit?

Unlikely, but we'll give it a shot.

Madison

Deal. Alright, I'm going to sleep. Gotta get my beauty rest before my red and blue chariot arrives for me.

Kira

Wee woo, wee woo… Goodnight! Love you guys!

Jade

Yep, need that beauty sleep for your mugshot. Love you.

Madison

Love you guys! I'll use my one call on Lark since I know she'll be most likely to answer.

Goodnight, love you guys!

I love these women, but god, they are not fucking normal.