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Pressing myself down on Tate’s body, I thrusted harder, holding onto him as I burrowed my face in his neck. He had a great smell… But still, it was so obviously not Ben’s, it tore my heart apart.

Be him. Please… Please just be Ben.

I stifled a strangled noise, shoving Tate into the mattress as I chased my orgasm.

I love him. I want him. I need him.

He’s. Not. Here.

“Ryan…” Tate rasped then moaned with the obvious pleasure he was feeling from my dick lancing his pleasure spot. “It’s okay.”

I whimpered and shook my head, licking and biting all over his neck.Not Ben. Not Ben. Not Ben.

His voice was uneven with my heavy thrusts as he gasped, “Just… say… it…”

No.I groaned, and it almost slipped before I caught myself. Our bodies were slick with sweat as we fucked so raw I was coming undone.

“I want you to…” he whispered through a hoarse breath, fingers digging into the sheets. “I want to be him for you.”

Fuck me. No… This is so wrong…

God, Ben… please. I love you, baby. Please… love me.

“Fucking…fuck…” I grunted, my hips slamming into his, causing him to cry out.

He was going to come soon, I could feel it. He tried reaching for his dick, but I wouldn’t let him. Keeping him trapped between my weight and the mattress, I was determined to get him off with no hands.

“Tell me…” Tate commanded, voice jagged and about to snap.

Fuck…

“Fuck… I’m sorry…” I roared, resting my forehead on his back as I squeezed my eyes shut tight.

And I imagined.

“Ben…” I mewled softly as my dick pulsed. “I love you, baby. Oh God,Ben…”

Tate hummed with his face in the pillow.

Baby… I love you so much. I love fucking you, Ben…

“Jesus, you feel so good, baby…” I began falling, succumbing to the sensations. “I’m coming… Fuck, I’m coming in you… Ben!”

I sobbed breathlessly as the climax ripped through my loins, my dick throbbing hard inside his ass. My whole body was tingling from head to toe. And I was still speaking…

“I love you, Ben. I love you so fucking much. I’m sorry…”

Tate’s voice was deep and echoey as he let go, finding his own release.My hips slowed and my tortured voice finally went quiet.

And we were left panting in the dark.

Empty.

* * *

After the five-hour drive, I made it home in one piece.

It wasChristmasDay, and I hadn’t planned on being back yet. I knew Alec and Kayla were likely inside with her parents, opening presents together as a family.