Page 103 of Pucking Sweet

“Just admit that you want me and we can move forward.”

I point to the locked door again. “Iwantyou to leave.”

Someone hammers on the door for a second time. “Come on, man. Get outta there!”

“In a minute!” Lukas bellows, pounding the inside of the door with his own fist.

“Lukas,” I say on a broken whisper.

He turns back to me.

Tears sting my eyes as I let him see my pain. “Don’t make me beg.”

Without another word, he leaves, taking all my air with him. I follow him to the door, shoving on it as the next person tries to come in. I twist the lock as they knock again, cursing and pounding on it with their fist.

Pulse racing, heart breaking, I back myself away until I bump into the far wall. Hands braced against the old, faded posters, I slide down, sinking to the dirty bathroom floor.

34

Where the hell is Poppy? She disappeared right as she got off the karaoke stage, and we need to finish our conversation. I fly out for a game first thing in the morning, and I won’t see her again for two days. I really don’t want to leave us like this.

Fuck, why did I have to be such a possessive asshole? I knew about Novy. He didn’t say a word, even when I pressed him, and still I knew. That should’ve been my warning right there. Novy is never shy about talking about the bunnies he’s wheeling. But one night with Poppy, and he locks up tighter than a fucking vault?

Yeah, the big red flag is waving in my face. No matter what she says, I know he’s not over her. Who could be once they’ve had a taste?

I groan, dragging a hand over my face. Sanford is on the karaoke stage now, wowing the crowd with a Måneskin cover. He dedicated the song to Doc Price, which really got the Rays section going. I thought she had a thing for Jake, but the way she’s watching Sanny play right now should come with an explicit content warning.

I pause in my pursuit of Poppy, eyes narrowing on our Barkley Fellow. People are complicated, right? Attraction doesn’t end just because you decide to commit yourself to one person. Rachel can be with Jake and still be attracted to Sanford.

Attraction is raw, animal instinct. Our humanity comes in when we decide whether toacton that instinct. And there’s attraction between Poppy and Novy. It’s undeniable. What I need to know is whether they’re going to act on it again.

She assures me they’re done. So, why can’t I just let it lie?

Worse, why do I keep picturing them together?

I groan again, shoving on the door to enter the restaurant. It’s like a hot and horny nightmare playing on repeat in my mind. I can’t stoppicturing him with her, and it’s confusing the hell out of me. Most of the time, it makes me just as hard as it does angry.

I don’t want Novy touching her. I don’t want him eventhinkingabout her. That he tasted her before me will haunt me until I die. If I had a machine to remove all memory of her from his brain, I would strap him in it and push the goddamn button.

Instead, I get to watch her “handle him” as he buzzes around like a cocky little bee, stinging her with jokes and longing looks. This is why you don’t try to date the people you work with, right? How do I set the wanting her aside and do my job? How do I stifle this jealousy as I watch him flirt with her right in front of me?

I told him to leave her alone. I told him to back the fuck off.

Great job, Cole. That backfired spectacularly.

Now he’s even more interested in her than he was before.

“Fuck,” I mutter, searching for a head of long blonde hair in the crowd.

This is my own goddamn fault. She’s right, I shouldn’t have played it safe. I shouldn’t have waited. I had years to try for her with him nowhere in the picture. But I was too wrapped up in my career to take her off her pedestal and put her in my arms where she belongs. Now my girl is trading hungry looks with my teammate and lying to herself about it.

Fuck, I can’t do this. I can’t share her. This is too hard. I liked it better when she was a dream I was chasing, unobtainable and flawless. This real person with raw instincts and moods and needs is too powerful. She’ll devastate me. She’ll break me wide open. She’ll ruin me and leave me for dead.

I grab Karlsson’s arm as he passes. “Hey, you seen Poppy?”

He shakes his head. “Not since she was onstage.”

I let him go and he walks away. Feeling desperate, I leave the restaurant and head for the parking lot. I find her car parked in one of the back rows. Where the fuck is she?