Page 24

Sutton

I ’m nervous as hell as I pick up the phone, dialing the number Jordan gave me a week ago. It’s taken me that long to decide to call. I’ve been a mess of indecision, my mind and heart at war.

Jordan is the one who settled it. When I was in his arms last night, he asked me what my perfect future looked like so he could give it to me.

But there’s one piece he can’t give me. My brother.

It’s up to the two of us to fix that part.

Lying there last night…I realized I want to at least try.

Not because he deserves it, but because I do.

Because I deserve to know that the brother I always adored isn’t a lost cause, that he can do better and be better. That, even if he can’t undo the past or fix anything he destroyed, he can at least make every damn effort to be better than the man he was.

I want that for him. I want it for Vanessa, who deserves to know that no one else will ever suffer the same pain, turmoil, and humiliation he put her through.

And I want it for me, too. Because I don’t want to go through the rest of my life a true orphan, my only link to my parents gone from my life.

It’s going to take time. A lot of it. The last week hasn’t been easy.

Much to Jordan’s surprise, Montaque left us out of his story.

But we haven’t escaped intense scrutiny.

People know about our relationship now. They’ve been calling for interviews, showing up at the arena, and generally being a pain in the ass.

Surprisingly, they aren’t being total dicks, though. They’ve been…respectful. Cautious, almost. They back off when Jordan says back off. Mostly, they ask us about my brother. I don’t answer those questions. Neither does Jordan.

They can ask him if they want to know. We can’t answer for his crimes and sins. We’ve both suffered enough for them, Jordan most of all. I think people realize that. They respect it. So they don’t push too hard.

The phone rings as I place it at my ear.

“Stonehaven Rehabilitation. How may I help you?”

“Hi,” I whisper, my voice shaking. “Um, I’d like to speak to Jamison Peters, please.”

“Do you have a password?”

“P-password?”

“Yes. To speak to anyone in this facility, you’re required to have their password and be on the list of approved individuals. Without it, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

“Oh!” I say, worried she’s going to hang up. I forgot about the password. Jordan told me about it. I’m not sure if it’s a new thing or if they had to take extra security measures once reporters started calling them. “Um, it’s regret.”

“And who is speaking?”

“This is his sister, Sutton.”

“Hold, please.”

I guess that means it’s the right password and I’m on the list. My leg bounces nervously as I stare out at the backyard, waiting anxiously. Still not entirely sure what I’m going to say.

When Jamison comes on the line five minutes later, I still haven’t figured it out.

“Hi,” I whisper, my mouth bone dry.

“Hey,” he says. He sounds tired. “I’m glad you called.”

“How…how are you?”

“Better. The first few days were a bitch. Alcohol withdrawal.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about, baby sister,” he says quietly. “I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“I read your statement. I’m…I’m proud of you, Jamison.”

“Christ.” A choked breath rasps down the line. “For what it’s worth, I didn’t do it for you. I did it because it was the right thing to do. I should have done it a long time ago.”

“I know,” I whisper, clutching the phone tightly.

“How are things there? The press leaving you alone?”

“It’s okay. It’s been manageable.”

“Good. I was worried…but I guess Jordan wouldn’t let them hound you.”

“No, he won’t.”

Jamison sighs down the line. “Are we going to be okay, Sutton? Will you ever forgive me?”

“I’m trying,” I admit, my throat burning.

“I…I don’t think things will ever be the same between us again.

I don’t think they can be after everything you did.

But…I’m willing to try to fix things between us, Jamison.

” I pause, biting my lip. “But you don’t get to interfere with my relationship with Jordan.

It has nothing to do with you. If you can’t live with that, then… ”

He’s quiet for a long moment, and then he sighs. “Jordan will be good for you, baby sister. As much as I hate to admit it, he’ll treat you the way you deserve. He’s always been a better man than I was.”

I’m not really sure what to say to that, so I don’t say anything.

“One of my biggest regrets is ruining our friendship over my own bullshit. He always kept my head on straight.”

“What’s your other regret?” I ask, curious because of his password. He chose it for a reason. “Losing Vanessa?”

“No. I know I deserved to lose her after what I did. I’ll always love her, but she deserves better. Hell, she always did. I think I knew that back then. I fucked everything up because she was perfect, and I couldn’t get out of my own goddamn way.”

“She loved you,” I whisper.

“I know.” He pauses again. “My other regret is letting you down, Sutton. If I could take it all back, I would. I’m so goddamn sorry for everything.

” His voice shakes like he’s crying…and that wrecks me.

I haven’t seen him cry since our parents died.

He’s always tried to keep it together, to be the strong one.

And now, he’s crying because he hurt me.

I choke on a sob, the world outside the window blurring with tears. “I…I need to go,” I say, my heart twisting painfully. It hurts and it heals and I just…really need Jordan right now.

“Will you call again?” he asks, his voice full of tentative, fragile hope.

“Yeah, I’ll call again,” I promise.

“Thank you.”

I set the phone down on the counter with a clatter.

“Princess,” Jordan whispers from behind me as if he knew I’d need him and was waiting.

I turn, walking right into his outstretched arms. They close around me, sheltering me in peace, in safety.

“I love you,” he murmurs.

I know he does. And I know that, because of him, I’ll be okay. Even if Jamison never gets it together. Even if I can’t ever forgive him fully…I’ll be okay. We both will.

We have each other now. And that feels a little like having everything.