Page 94 of Puck Love

“Oh.” That was fair. I’d been a wreck for seven solid days, thinking about something I couldn’t have, and now he was out.

Out of the closet. Out in the world. I was still here wishing I was with him.

Mom was talking again.Concentrate, Trinsky. “Should you ever feel alone, remember we’ll always be here.”

Okay, what the fuck?

“Are you…do you thinkI’mcoming out or something?” I asked, exasperated.

“No, but if you were, it would be okay with me.”

“For fuck’s sake.” I wiped my hand over my brow.

Mom chuckled and reached for my hand. “I love you.”

“What is happening here? Jake Milligan comes out, and you’re telling me you love me…just because.”

“That’s right.” She smiled. “And I’m telling you to be as kind to yourself as you are to us. You deserve it, Mase.”

Eddie was spinning in circles in the whitewash, his arms wide and his chin tilted at the sky. I licked my lips, my chest heaving with the weight of a confession I hadn’t planned on giving.

“Jake is…he’s…special to me.”

Mom squeezed my hand. “I know, honey. I know.”

Okay,I was officially reeling.

How had she known? ’Cause at the end of the day, I hadn’t been able to string the words together. I wasn’t sure if she’d seen something or if it had been a mother’s intuition. Hers had been on the fritz where I was concerned…or so I’d thought. But maybe I hadn’t given her the credit she deserved.

Whatever. I wasn’t ready for that conversation. I just wasn’t. I had to get to Denver, meet up with my team, and yeah…I wanted to talk to Jake. Ihadto talk to him. He hadn’t picked up my calls or responded to my texts, and I wasn’t sure what to think of that. We’d agreed it was over between us, but this was important, damn it.

Jake’s namebuzzed in the locker room in Denver. Mostly surprise, a little confusion, but nothing negative. The Condors organization wasn’t your typical hockey team, though. We were the same guys who’d embraced Denny with open arms whenhe’d come out five years ago. Or was it six? Whatever. We were progressive and inclusive. But this was still news.

I stayed out of the chatter. I felt exposed by it and nervous. Nervous me tended to overcompensate. I skated like I was being chased by demons and played rougher than necessary, clearing lanes like a renegade wrecking ball.

Denny cornered me after practice, brow furrowed with genuine concern. “Dude, what the hell was that today?”

“Just working hard,” I grumbled.

He straddled the bench in front of my locker and motioned for my nearest neighbors to beat it. “Anything you want to talk about?”

“No.”

“Okay.” Denny didn’t leave. In fact, he unlaced his skates with the precision of a heart surgeon and untied his pads.

“What are you doing, Mellon?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” he countered.

“I’m fine,” I insisted. “Nothing to see here.”

“I heard you, but I think that maybe you’re full of shit.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. I don’t?—”

“Jake’s fine,” Denny intercepted.

I clenched my jaw and swallowed hard. “Okay…good. I tried to call, but…”