Page 39 of Prove Me Wrong (The Sunburnt Hearts #5)

Chapter Thirty

MIA

M y breathing is clipped as I sit in the passenger seat. Thick tears slide down my face as I try to control my shaking hands. It’s been a long time since I’ve broken down in public, but that man terrified me.

Shy girls are monsters in bed. I bet you’re a screamer. I want to hear you scream my name.

Scott’s foul words echo in my mind as Noah silently drives us back home.

He hasn’t said anything since he sat me down and buckled me in.

Occasionally, Noah would glance my way, but my blurry eyes wouldn't budge from the road in front of us. I didn’t want to see the look in his eyes, afraid he’ll finally realise how truly broken I am.

How shattered my soul is. The moment he realised I’m unfixable .

Music plays softly through the stereo, and I’m grateful that it’s an old INXS song—one of my favourites.

It helps to calm my nerves. I don’t remember if he set it to this, or if it was already playing—I wasn’t paying attention.

His car also smells like him—manly, greasy and earthy.

Every breath I inhale, Noah’s scent settles my beating pulse that rattles my veins and bones.

I hate that I feel this weak from a simple touch. From some words being whispered in my ear. From a hand touching me that wasn’t his. That I froze up like a deer in headlights when I should have fought back .

But I couldn’t.

If it wasn’t for Noah stepping in…

Another thick tear slips from my dark lashes, and I lick my drying lips, tasting salt on them.

Pulling up in Noah’s driveway, he switches off the ignition, letting out a slow exhale. Keeping his gaze focused beyond the windshield at his house, his hands resting on the steering wheel. We stay silent for a few long beats. All I can hear are my muffled sniffs and the chattering of my teeth.

“Are you okay?” His words are huskier than usual, almost like they’re frightened for me. Afraid of how I’m feeling inside.

Swallowing the hard lump in my throat, I slowly nod. Eyes falling to my shaking hands, my mouth dries with anxiety. Letting out a wobbly breath, I try to contain myself, to keep myself together in one piece, but it feels useless.

Noah’s calloused hand reaches out to cup mine, and an involuntary sob escapes my throat, heavy and raw, as water rushes from my eyes.

“Grey,” he says tenderly, but I can’t look at him.

This is not how I imagined opening up to him. For Noah to see how vulnerable and broken I am, but I can’t hold it back. He’s going to see everything, and I just pray that he doesn’t see me as the ruined thing Ryan promised I’d be for every man.

We sit in silence until my cries are softer, and my hands are more controlled. Noah's hands slip away, the sudden disconnect making my heart ache. He gets out, enclosing me inside the contained space alone.

My door swings open a few seconds later, and before I can lift my chin to peer up at his troubled gaze, Noah’s hands slide under my thighs and back.

He pulls me out of the car with ease. I curl against him, hating that I feel so fragile.

That I’m so shaky. I’m so grateful that he’s all I have right now.

I don’t want anyone else at this moment. Only him.

Unlocking his front door, Noah carries me to sit on his comfortable couch, silence filling the house. He kneels in front of me with heavy green eyes framed in gilded lashes and sun-kissed cheekbones. His voice cracks when he asks, “Grey, what happened?”

My lips shake as I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, telling him in a raspy tone, “He—he touched—I didn’t want—scared me too much.” The words fall out of my mouth incoherently. I push bitter bile back down my throat.

“He only touched you once, right?” Noah’s tone sharpens.

I nod, looking into his deep gaze, which is murky from the tears glassing my own. “Yes,” I barely whisper.

Noah’s mouth tenses, his eyes shimmering with hatred and compassion, pulling me closer like magnets. “You know that I used to get panic attacks as well.”

I blink at him, unsure of what to say. I would never have expected him to lose his control like I do.

“I know how they make you feel. Like you’re drowning. Like you can’t breathe. Your body isn’t in control, and it fights you when you try to handle it.”

My teeth sink into my lip, eyes lowering, fingers tightening on my lap. “I hate them,” I admit softly, bitterness coating my tongue like metal.

His head tilts to one side as a hand wraps around my own. It’s warm and rough but feels perfect against mine, brushing my skin like a feather before enveloping them in his larger ones. “What happened to you?”

Noah’s eyes soften. I stare into his apple irises, feeling the weight of his gaze like he’s trying to read what’s scarred my heart so deeply. “I?—”

“What else did he do to you?”

My eyes flick down, his stare becoming too intense. I cough out, “He said something to me, and it frightened me.”

“What was it?”

I bite down on my lip, tasting blood in my mouth, like tangy iron. “He wanted to hear me scream.” My voice is strained with dread.

Noah’s eyes close, and I feel mine watering even more when he shuffles closer. “Scott is a pig. I’ve never trusted him.” He digs his fingers through his golden hair. “I am so sorry this happened to you, Grey.”

I shake my head. “I didn’t want to go. Lila wanted to play pool with them, not me. I didn’t want to be there.”

Nodding, his hands grip mine tightly, comforting me silently. He's looking at me like I’m all that matters right now. “Well, I hate her for making you do that. She shouldn’t force you into anything you’re not comfortable with.”

Sniffing loudly, I wipe my runny nose. Finger hooking under my chin, he tips my face up to meet his. “I didn’t trust her in there. I didn’t trust anyone, Noah. Not until I saw you. You have no idea how much relief I felt when you pushed him away from me.”

My heart aches at my own words. Trust is precious to me, possibly just as precious as giving someone my heart. It can be shredded within seconds and take years to be repaired, but I truly believe that Noah is the only man I can trust.

Noah’s head lifts, his hands cupping my jaw before pulling me into his kiss. It’s gentle and tender, and exactly what I need after what happened tonight. My hands stop shaking as I hold his, pressing them against my cheeks as he kisses me slowly.

My eyes shut as I melt against him like chocolate in a pan, not wanting his touch to separate from mine.

His fingers move down my neck, holding me in place.

I lean against his lips, moving with them in a perfect rhythm.

It makes me feel loved and cherished, as if I am valued for the first time in a long time, and it spreads warmth throughout my entire body. And that terrifies me.

Breaking apart with heavy breaths that brush our heated mouths, Noah tips his forehead to rest on mine. I suck in a shaky breath, inhaling his intoxicating scent once more.

“Noah,” I whisper, and his bright eyes open to stare up into mine. “I’m so sorry?—”

“There’s nothing you need to apologise for, Grey,” he murmurs out before lifting his face to kiss my temple tenderly.

Sliding onto the couch beside me, Noah wraps me up in his comforting, strong arms, like a circle of safety surrounding me, pulling me into his hold.

I never want them to let go of me. “But if you are ready, then I think we should talk about everything. To get it all out into the open.” His finger lifts my chin to guide it up.

“I don’t want you to close yourself off from me.

I want to know everything, even if it kills me. ”

Gaze holding his heavy one, I nod slowly, noting the raggedness in his voice.

“Okay,” I whisper, my lungs burning with fire.

“Okay,” he repeats, and sighs heavily. “I’ll start.”

Swallowing, I feel a rush of cold passing over me as Noah’s expression darkens like shadows, deepening his features. “What Scott said is partially true in the pub. Jade’s mum, Em, passed away the night that Jade was born, and guilt still riddles me when I think about that night,” he admits quietly.

My eyebrows crease together as I wait for Noah to keep going, not pressuring him in any way.

His voice shakes as he continues, “Emerald and I were in school together. That’s how it is when you grow up in a tiny town like this one.

You know everyone, and everyone knows your business.

She liked me for a long time, and I thought she was sweet and confident, and I can’t lie, she was intriguing to me. ”

I feel jealousy settling into my bone marrow once again as Noah recalls his time with Jade’s mum. I shouldn’t feel jealous of her, because she gave him his daughter, and that’s his biggest blessing in his life.

“We didn’t get together until I started racing.

She was at one of the races, working for a media team when she was asked to film and interview me after a race.

As soon as I saw her, I recognised her, and being a full-time driver, I never got to know girls very well.

It was more just a once or twice night together before it fizzled out. ”

“Em and I spent a lot of time together that weekend off the track, and then she was appearing at every race weekend for work. It was just a fling. It was never meant to be anything serious, we had both agreed on that, until she came to me at one race and told me she was pregnant.”

My throat works as his eyes cloud over with hazing memories. I feel my parted lips drying as I stare up at him.

“We didn’t mean for it to happen, but we agreed to stay together for Jade.

Neither of us were entirely happy in the relationship, but we agreed to get married for Jade.

We bickered a lot and disagreed on most things…

but she was kind and friendly and was having my daughter.

I wasn’t going to abandon either of them… ”

A hand runs down his face, rubbing against his rough chin. His jaw clenches, fighting off the agony I’ve grown to know too well.

He has always loved Jade, and Noah will do anything for her—he’s proven that much to me—and I completely understand why. My chest stings at that, realising just how protective Noah is. I’m drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. His head shakes away the thick memories .

“Em was seven and a half months pregnant when she was driving home from a race weekend. She was sent home early because she was complaining about pain and nausea, which is normal for that far along.” His jaw ticks when he adds darkly, “I was meant to go with her as her fiancé, but our backup driver wouldn’t have made it to the track in time, so she went on her own. ”

Dipping his chin, the heels of his hands dig into his eyes as his voice cracks like an old vinyl. “Em never made it home.”

Air catches in my lungs as my eyes burn with unshed tears. He’s been carrying this around for two years, this regret and blessing, tormenting him like a looming monster. I saw glimpses of it, the shadow in his gaze, the creases in his face, but I didn’t realise how deep his anguish lay.

“A truck swerved and hit her front on. The truck driver luckily wasn’t injured too much, so he called an ambulance, but they arrived too late to resuscitate Em.

I got the call at the track two hours away, and they told me what happened.

” He clears his throat huskily. “I had the choice to save Jade, and I did. I couldn’t say goodbye to both of them that night.

” His words are thick with grief and darkness as he tries to keep himself together, head sinking down to avoid my eyes.

“I went to the scene first to see Em’s body covered by a sheet.

Blood was all over the ground and her car in a ditch, smashed to pieces.

I couldn’t handle it. I broke down in the middle of the street, and Nathan had to come to drive me to the hospital where Jade was wrapped up in an incubator.

She was tiny, and so weak, but I fell in love with her instantly. ”

He draws out a breath, and I wipe my face clean. Agony pulls on my heartstrings as I realise how much Noah is holding on to. I knew something had happened to Jade’s mum, but I never expected anything this traumatic.

“I’m so sorry, Noah,” I croak out.

He pulls back, shiny green eyes assessing mine as he stares down, lips pulled tight, golden brows creased together with pain. “I know. But I at least have Jade.” He tries to sound optimistic, but I hear the anguish in his hoarse baritone. “I lost one life and gained another that night.”

My heart breaks even more.