Page 15
Ares
I hadn’t been to the clubhouse in a while. For some reason, Prophet had said I wasn’t allowed anywhere near my dad’s house, and not because I’d freaked out. I had to wonder what was going on. At least I could come here when I wanted to visit with everyone. Now that the club whores were gone, the place was open to the women too.
And as an added bonus, there was a ramp here, so Mom could hang out with everyone whenever she wanted. Now that the place was family friendly all day every day, the kids were also able to come inside. Although, most of them didn’t except the smaller ones who came with their parents. The teens, however, were another matter. It made them feel grown-up to be in here unsupervised.
I couldn’t drink since I was pregnant, so a Prospect had given me a bottle of water. I accepted it and took in everyone either sitting at tables having conversations, or dancing to the beat of whatever song played through the speakers. I’d only half paid attention to it. Being in here still left me feeling a little overwhelmed. Not because anything bad happened to me in this place, but I was still adjusting once more to being in crowded spaces. At the beach, we’d only been around crowds in restaurants or out in the open. This was… different. For one, the only windows were at the front of the room, which left the place rather dreary even when the sun was at its highest peak.
I wondered if it was the darker atmosphere that bothered me. After being locked up in a room with no windows, a place like this made me feel like I was still confined. I knew I could get up and walk out whenever I wanted, but my body still had a fearful response to places like this.
Part of me wished Mom was here. I hadn’t had a chance to spend a lot of time with her since my return. The little ones needed her, and she really did struggle to leave the house some days. Prophet’s house wasn’t close enough for her to wheel herself over there. I needed to call her more often at the very least.
Wraith’s woman Rin plopped down on the stool next to mine. She was quite a bit older than me, but I’d heard she was around my age when Wraith claimed her. I’d always thought she was rather beautiful, even with the scars covering her body.
“Hey.” She flashed me a quick smile.
“Rin,” I acknowledged. We’d spoken often over the years I’d been here, but I wouldn’t have considered her one of my friends. I didn’t have anything against her. I’d just mostly hung out with those closer to my age.
She reached out, her hand warm and steady as it enveloped mine. “You looked slightly freaked out, and I thought you could use someone to talk to.”
I forced a smile. “It shows, huh?”
She shrugged shoulder. “I know you’ve been through this before. Different story, same kind of hell. And you know my past wasn’t the greatest. I just wanted you to know I’m here for you. Don’t feel rushed to be the same Ares you were before. In all honesty, you’ll never be her again. I’m not saying you won’t heal, because you will, but the experiences you had will make you stronger -- eventually.”
“Thanks, Rin. I appreciate it.” I really did too. There were several women here who’d survived sexual assault and more. Rin was only one of them. The men here had a tendency to take in the broken birds and mend their wings. And yeah, I’d just called the two of us fucking birds. Maybe they’d given me more than water. I sniffed the contents of the bottle. Nope. Not vodka, just straight-up water. Maybe the stress was affecting me more than I’d realized.
“Wraith didn’t let me drown in my nightmares. Didn’t look at me like I was something dirty. We didn’t have the smoothest start to our relationship, but he loves me and I love him. I can see you have that with Prophet, but I know there are times you need a woman who will understand. I just wanted to remind you that you have several here who would be willing to listen or hold you while you cry or scream about the unfairness of it all. We’ve been there, done that.”
“Seems impossible some days,” I admitted. “Living a normal life again. You’d think I’d be able to shrug this off after going through it before. I don’t know why this time it’s hitting me harder. And Mom… I can tell she feels guilty even when she shouldn’t. It makes me wonder if our relationship will ever go back to what it was before.”
“As far as Dessa is concerned, she’s a grown woman and has to deal with her issues. You have enough on your plate. Focus on getting better. Maybe you didn’t properly process everything before because of your age,” she suggested. “But you’re seeing Dr. Sykes, right?”
“Yeah. I had counseling with him before, but this time it feels like he’s digging deeper. Guess I need it since I’m such a basket case some days.”
She squeezed my hand. “Don’t think that way.”
I held her gaze and realized there were times she still felt the pain of what she went through. It resonated with me, and perhaps that more than anything else reminded me I really did have plenty of people to help me through this.
“Thank you,” I said. “Really.”
“Anytime,” Rin said with a small smile, releasing my hand. “We’re all in this together, remember? That’s what makes us stronger.”
“Family. I get it.” I looked across the room where my dad sat with Saint, Tank, and Venom. I could tell there something going on with him, but no one had said anything. But maybe… “Hey, Rin. Do you know what’s up with my dad lately? He’s been quick to anger and even got mad at me over stuff I couldn’t control. You know that’s not like him.”
“Wow, okay then.” She blew out a breath. “I see they’re keeping you in the dark.”
I jerk my head around to stare at her. “What? Is something really wrong with him?”
She lifted her hands. “No. I mean, it’s not life-threatening as long as he does what he’s supposed to, and I think he’s trying. Honestly, I thought you’d know already. Didn’t Prophet…”
“Oh my God! Why haven’t they said anything to me?” I stared at my dad again, trying to see if I could figure out what illness he had. Was it cancer? A bad heart? A tumor? My mind started spinning with one horrible scenario after another. And Prophet had kept it from me? Did he think I was so fragile I couldn’t handle it?
“Easy, Ares.” Rin placed her hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “I think we need some backup. Just breathe in and out, slowly.”
I felt her waving at someone, even though I didn’t see who. Next thing I knew, Lavender and Mara were standing with us. I did a double take as it registered Mara was really here. It was a rare thing to find her at a gathering like this. She’d been with Rocky since long before I came here, and yet, she mostly stayed in her house. I’d always thought she was just too shy, but maybe it was more that she preferred the peace and quiet. She seemed at ease right now.
“What’s up?” Lavender asked.
“They haven’t told Ares about Savior, and now she’s panicking,” Rin said. “I shouldn’t have said anything, but she was worrying about the way he’s been acting.”
Lavender sighed. “Let’s get to a table.”
I followed them to an empty table on the opposite side of the room from my dad. Once I’d sat down, Lavender took the chair beside me with Rin on my other side. Mara sat across from me.
“You know he probably wanted to protect you, right?” Mara asked. “It’s why he didn’t say anything. You’ve been through a lot, and he most likely didn’t want to burden you with anything else.”
“Burden? I’m his daughter! How could he not tell me if there’s something wrong?” I asked.
“It’s not as awful as you probably think.” Lavender nudged my bottle of water closer to me and I took a swallow. “He’s been diagnosed with diabetes. They’re giving him time to correct it by changing his diet and lifestyle a bit. If the next test still says he’s diabetic, they’ll put him on meds most likely.”
“I don’t know anything about diabetes,” I said.
“He’s had to cut out carbs, sugar, increase his protein intake. He also has to lay off the beer. He can still enjoy one, just not several a day. I think the change in what he can eat, and the stress over checking labels for carb and sugar content, has stressed him to the point he’s a bit snippy. Dessa said he’s always complaining he feels like he’s going to starve to death, so that’s not helping matters either.” Lavender glanced at him, then back at me. “Maybe you should talk to him about it?”
I shook my head. “I’ll wait and see if they bring it up first. At least I now understand why he’s been acting out of character. Thank you for telling me.”
“Do you know how far along you are?” Lavender asked, changing the subject.
“Um. Dr. Myron did a blood test to confirm the pregnancy, but we haven’t really narrowed down when it happened. I go see Dr. Myron again in a few weeks. Maybe he can tell me more then.”
Mara reached over to lightly touch my ring. “Interesting choice of engagement ring. Is there a story behind it?”
I nodded. “We were staying at a house on the beach in Gulf Shores. One of the vendors nearby sold oysters. Prophet bought one, had the guy cut it open, and there was a pink pearl inside. He took it to a jeweler and had it made into a ring. The day I decided it was time to come home, he proposed to me.”
“It’s unique, and beautiful,” Rin said. “An unpolished pearl has a rougher, bumpy exterior. I bet the pearl reminded Prophet of you, and everything you’d been through.”
“He said something along those lines. I guess I’m supposed to be the finished pearl once I’m done dealing with what happened.” It had been rather sweet of him, but then, he’d always been kind to me. Even when he sounded gruff, he was usually forcing me to do something that was for my own good.
“Since you’ve been gone, and you’ve had some… trouble… readjusting, you probably haven’t heard.” Lavender leaned in closer. “Joker and Cleo have a son now. I think they’ve been keeping their distance in case their presence bothers you. They took in a little boy named Caspian. He’s a cutie.”
“None of this is Cleo’s fault. Her family did this to me, not her. She had a bad heart, right? Did that get resolved?”
Rin nodded. “Yeah. She got a transplant, and while she’s not running a marathon anytime soon, she’s definitely much improved.”
“I heard Joker still sticks to her like glue, though,” Mara said.
“You’d see it for yourself if you came out of your house more often,” Lavender said. “But you’ve always been quiet and preferred being home.”
“I know. Sometimes all this is a bit much for me,” Mara said, waving her hand at the people gathered in the clubhouse. “Although, it’s much better now those women are gone. They always made me feel uneasy, and with all the trouble they kept causing, I didn’t understand why they were here.”
“Um, because men think with their dicks?” Rin asked.
I’d just taken a swallow of water and spewed it all over the table. “True, but I can’t believe you said that.”
They laughed and Lavender handed me a napkin. I used it to clean myself up, then mopped up the water on the table. They’d always treated me like a child before. I guess getting engaged and being pregnant changed things. I wasn’t just one of the kids now. I was going to be one of them. An old lady.
Of course, now that I thought about it…
“Why am I the only one at the table without a property cut?” I asked.
“Oh, shit.” Lavender put her hand over her mouth. “I didn’t even realize it. I bet Savior hasn’t ordered it yet.”
“But you know where they get them, right?” Mara asked Lavender.
“I do, but… That request should really come from an officer or their old lady. And Wire is awesome, but he’s just the club hacker. It’s not like he has an official title around here.”
“I always thought he was a bit like God -- he could see you anytime he wanted and track you too.”
Lavender threw back her head and laughed. “That’s fucking perfect! I’m so telling him that.”
“No!” Rin looked appalled. “He already thinks he’s the most amazing thing on earth. Can you imagine the size of his ego if he knows someone thinks he’s a god?”
“You make a good point,” Lavender said.
Prophet came over, squatting beside my chair. “Looks like you’re having fun now. Do you need anything?”
“She needs her property cut,” Lavender said. “Did you not ask Savior to get her one?”
Prophet winced. “Actually, I didn’t. With everything going on, it didn’t seem like the right time. Everyone knows I’ve claimed her, that we’re engaged, and expecting a baby. The cut is important, and I know that, but… it’s not the most important thing.”
“I guess things are a little different now,” Mara said. “Before, it was the only way to keep the club whores away from our men, or at least it stood as a warning those guys were taken. Now we don’t have to deal with those women.”
“Not to mention Ares was part of this club already,” Prophet said.
“Fine. But I’d like to have mine before my stomach is too big for me to wear it properly.” I leaned in to kiss him. “Deal?”
“I can manage that.” He smiled and stood. “Let me know when you’re ready to head home. I don’t want to cut your time short since you seem to be enjoying yourself, but I also don’t want you to overdo it.”
“I know.” I watched him walk off and realized the women were smirking at me. “What?”
“I’m deciding if he has you wrapped around his finger, or it’s the other way around,” Rin said.
“I think it’s a bit of both.” Lavender smacked her hand on the table. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m getting hungry. I’m going to ask a Prospect to make us some fries. Anything else for the table?”
“Loaded potato skins,” Rin said. “But tell them to put the sour cream on the side this time. Last time they loaded the tops of them and I couldn’t handle it.”
“All right. Back in a minute,” Lavender said.
She hadn’t been gone more than a few seconds before someone dropped into her seat. I stared at Foster, wondering what the hell he was up to. Nothing good ever happened when he was around. How the hell had someone like Bull had a kid like this one?
“Are you lost?” I asked.
“I needed to apologize to you,” he said.
Mara sighed. “Child, you might as well print off apology cards and just hand them out on a daily basis. You’re at my house enough I feel like you’re my kid, but when are you going to grow the hell up? If Owen fucked up as much as you do, Rocky would have buried him somewhere already.”
Foster winced. “I know. And actually, I’m more scared of Mom than Dad, but don’t tell him I said that.”
“You act or run your mouth before your brain has the time to tell you that you shouldn’t do whatever it is you’re jumping into,” I said. “It’s exhausting, and often insulting, to a lot of us. You ran Leigha off all the way to the Reckless Kings.”
“And I learned my lesson. If a woman says no, or tries to politely turn me down, then I know she’s really not interested and isn’t just playing hard to get.” He leaned in closer, giving me puppy eyes. “I’m really sorry, Ares. I didn’t get to apologize because of what happened, and then you were gone for two months. If there’s ever anything I can do to make it up to you, or to prove I’m trying to change, then tell me.”
Lavender was back and smacked him on the top of his head. “You can start by getting your ass out of my seat. Then bring our food to the table and some fresh drinks.”
He shot up out of his chair and took a hasty step back. “You got it!”
Rin looked amused as she watched him run off. “Don’t think I’ve seen him move that fast before.”
“He knows I can erase his entire existence if he makes me mad,” Lavender said. “I already had his license revoked once. I fixed it two days later, but he learned his lesson when he got pulled over for speeding.”
I stayed another hour, enjoying my time with the ladies. For the first time since I’d come back home, I felt like I belonged here. These women were incredible, and I owed them so much. They’d given me the one thing I’d been missing -- confidence, and hearing that it was okay to not be okay. I hoped one day I could be like them and give advice to those younger than me.
I definitely want to be like Lavender when I grow up . Well, minus the hacking because I wasn’t that great with computers.
Right when I was about to ask Prophet if we could go home, the doors opened, and Mom wheeled her way into the clubhouse. She glanced around the room, and the moment she spotted me, she came over. The women scooted their chairs to make space for her. She pulled up next to me, and before she said a word, she pulled me in for a hug.
“You looked like you could use one of these,” she said. “And I definitely did.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Your dad texted that you were here. I asked Delphine to watch the kids long enough for me to come see you.” She squeezed my hand. “I’ve missed you, Ares.”
“Same here. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to come visit at the house. It’s just been too hard,” I said.
“And I’m sure they don’t blame you for that,” Rin said. “Right, Dessa?”
Mom nodded. “Right. You’re the victim in all this, Ares. Or rather, the survivor. My strong, beautiful girl.”
“All right, Mom. Enough or I’m going to think you’ve been drinking.” I laid my head on her shoulder. “But I’m really glad you came tonight.”
“Me too. So, catch me up on the all the gossip.”
Lavender told her about me calling Wire a god, and before I knew it, I’d been sucked in to another hour of conversation. But spending time with everyone like this made me truly feel like I was back where I belonged.