Page 13

Ares

The moment we pulled up to my dad’s house, I wondered if I’d made the right choice. Anticipation had been building ever since we’d decided to come home, and now it twisted into a tight knot of anxiety in my stomach. It had been a few days since we’d come back home. Our welcome had been far from what I’d hoped for, but I’d thought maybe things were better now. It had been three days since my dad blew up at Prophet. Maybe we shouldn’t have come here. Was I trying to do too much too soon?

“Ready?” Prophet’s voice was soft, reminding me he was here and I wasn’t alone.

I nodded, unable to find my voice. My fingers clenched and unclenched at my sides as I took a step toward the front door. I could feel my entire body starting to shake as I scanned the area and realized I was standing in the exact spot I’d been in when the kidnapper came up behind me.

“Hey,” Prophet said gently, reaching out to touch my shoulder. “Take your time. If you can’t handle this, then I’ll ask them to come to our place. Until I can install a ramp for your mom, I can always help her into the house if your dad doesn’t come with her.”

I drew in a deep breath, trying to steady myself. I’d lived in this house with my family, made happy memories. If I let the Lathems take all that away from me, then they won. It didn’t matter that I’d been freed. Part of me would be caged for as long as they controlled my thoughts, actions, and emotions.

Stepping onto the porch, I paused, my heart pounding so loud I could hear it echoing in my ears. Prophet stood close behind me, near enough I could feel the heat of his body. I raised my hand, hesitating as it hovered over the doorbell. A shiver ran down my spine. I could do this!

“Whatever happens,” I whispered, more to myself than to him, “we’ll face it together, right?”

I had no idea if I’d fall apart when I got inside, or if things would be better. Was this the PTSD Dr. Sykes had mentioned?

“Always,” he replied, his voice a firm promise.

With a shaky exhale that did nothing to calm my racing heart, I pressed the doorbell. Before now, I’d have just entered without even knocking. But this wasn’t my home anymore.

The door swung open, and the familiar face of my father, Savior, filled the doorway. Surprise etched his rugged features for a fleeting second before his expression settled into something unreadable. I managed a tremulous smile, but it felt like it might shatter at any moment.

“Hey, Dad,” I murmured.

“Girl, you’re a sight.” He didn’t make single move, and I noticed he seemed more tense than usual.

It felt like my feet had cemented to the porch. A cold sweat broke out on the back of my neck, and nausea welled inside me. I couldn’t bring myself to go into the house. Even though the kidnapper had caught me outside, I had no way of knowing if they’d gone into the house at some point. I wondered if Prophet had made me close my eyes and carried me inside, if I’d have been fine if I hadn’t seen the area where it had happened.

“Prophet, I…”

Prophet’s arm wrapped around me, his presence a solid reassurance. “Easy. I’ve got you, Ares. You going to be all right?”

“Trying to be,” I admitted. My dad stood silently, observing us.

“Let’s take this slow,” Prophet said. “We can stay here like this until you’re ready. Just squeeze my hand when you think you can go inside.”

“Damn it, Ares! What’s wrong with you?” My dad sounded more hurt than angry. I knew he had to be frustrated with me. “Can’t you see I’m here for you? Look at me!”

I swallowed hard, my lips parting as I tried to force the words out. Tears burned my eyes, and my chest felt like it was tight. “P-Please…”

It felt like I was drowning and couldn’t get any oxygen. The world spun, and I leaned back into Prophet, not sure my legs would hold me up.

“Savior, she’s not -- It’s not what you think.” Prophet glanced at me, pain etched across his face, before locking eyes with my father. “She needs space. It’s not about you or her not wanting to be here.”

My dad’s jaw clenched, his body rigid. Prophet stood his ground. His hold on me was gentle, even as he faced off against his President.

“Prophet --”

He held up a hand. “Give her a moment. Let her breathe.”

“I… I don’t know if…” I couldn’t even get the words out. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see my dad and the rest of my family. I’d missed them.

“You’re okay, Ares. I’m right here.” Prophet squeezed my waist.

“Enough!” The word burst from Dad like a gunshot. I flinched, bracing for the anger I knew so well, the disappointment I feared. But as his stern gaze met mine, something shifted in his hardened features. The lines around his eyes softened, the set of his mouth loosened with an emotion I hadn’t expected -- regret. The fire in his eyes dimmed, replaced by a dawning realization that cut through his fury like a knife.

“Shit,” he muttered, the word rough and low. He raked a hand through his beard. “Ares… I didn’t… I’m sorry.”

The simple apology hung between us. It was an olive branch, a small gesture, and yet I knew what it cost my dad to say those words. He wasn’t one to say sorry very easily. I watched the man who had taken me in when I had nowhere else to go, who had saved me. In that moment, I saw not just my father, not just the President of the Dixie Reapers, but a man wrestling with his own demons -- fighting to be better for the daughter he claimed as his own.

Dad took a step forward, his gaze locked on mine. I read the silent plea for forgiveness, and the hope he hadn’t made things worse for me.

“Let’s talk inside,” he said.

I nodded, a tentative acceptance, and allowed Prophet to guide me into the house. As long as I had him with me, I knew I’d be okay. I just had to get over my initial fear of being here.

“I’m so sorry, Ares.” My dad’s voice broke. “I guess I hoped when you came back, things would go back to normal. I know you’re struggling to find your way here as Prophet’s woman now and not just my daughter, but I’m having a hard time too. I want you here, back in your room, and to see you smile the way you used to.”

“Time.” I swallowed hard. “I need more time.”

He nodded. “All right. I’ve been too scared to hug you, so let me know that will be okay.”

“Where’s Dessa and the kids?” Prophet asked.

“I asked them to give me some time with Ares first. If the children had seen her like this, it might have scared them.”

It had been the right thing to do. Even now, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stand being in this house. And going outside would be even worse.

“I think I need Dr. Sykes,” I said. “I thought I was better, but I was wrong. I need his help getting through this.”

Prophet squeezed my hand. “Then you’ll have it. You’re not alone, Ares. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I thought I was finished with counseling, but I think I need more sessions. Official ones this time,” I said.

“Okay.” He kissed the top of my head. “We’ll get you whatever help you need.”

He laced his fingers with mine. My hand trembled as I reached for my phone and called Dr. Sykes’ number. He’d made sure I’d be able to reach him at any time of day. Even though he hadn’t charged me for therapy, I had a feeling the club made sure he’d been compensated. I’d found it odd they’d extended their stay until I was ready to return home. How had they been able to keep their practices closed for that long without some sort of payment? The call connected on the third ring.

“Dr. Sykes speaking.”

“It’s Ares. I need to see you. Regular appointments. I’m not over everything like I’d thought I was. I’m not only having a hard time, but it’s causing problems with my family too.” I bit my lip so I wouldn’t cry. “I feel like I’m going to destroy everything important to me because of how screwed up I am.”

“We’ll set something up. We can meet as often as you need to. I’ll have my assistant call you back in a little while and figure out what days and times will be best for you. Do you need to see me right now? Do you feel like this is an emergency?” he asked.

“No, I think I can wait.” I ended the call, and slowly exhaled the way he’d taught me to do. I leaned into Prophet. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” he replied.

“The two of you should go home,” Savior said. “I’ll let Dessa know she should take the kids to your place if they want to visit.”

I felt like my dad was dismissing me, and it broke my heart. Prophet led me to the door, glancing over his shoulder once, before taking me outside. I closed my eyes, thinking it might be better if I didn’t see the place where I’d been abducted. Prophet lifted me into his arms and carried me to his bike. He eased me down onto the back of it and leaned in to kiss my temple.

“Keep your eyes closed a little longer,” he said.

I nodded and felt him get onto the motorcycle in front of me. I placed my hands on his waist and pressed my forehead to his leather-covered back. It wasn’t until he stopped at our house that I finally looked up. If I’d known I would panic like that, I wouldn’t have offered to go to my dad’s house. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him, or the rest of the family. I just couldn’t handle going to that house right now. I worried I’d never be able to.

“We’re home, honey,” he said, patting my thigh. “You want me to run a hot bath for you?”

“Dr. Myron said it couldn’t be too hot. But yes, that sounds nice.”

I got off the bike and waited for him, then we went into the house together. I went straight to the bedroom and took off my shoes. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I waited for him to run the bath. I could have easily done it myself, but Prophet seemed to like doing things like this for me. When I’d tried to tell him I could do it on my own, he’d glowered at me and done it anyway.

“You want any help?” he asked.

“I think I want to be alone.” I reached out a hand to him. “I’m sorry. It’s just… today has been a lot, and there are things I need to process.”

“Mind if I stay in here in case you need me? All you’ll have to do is call out to me.”

I gave him a brief smile. “I’d appreciate it.”

Before I got cleaned up, there was one other thing I needed to do. Call Dessa. She’d been a mother to me, and also a good friend. I pulled out my phone and quickly selected her name off my contacts list.

“Ares?” she asked the moment the call connected. “Are you okay?”

“No, but I think I will be, eventually.” I pressed my lips together. “None of this is your fault, and I’m sorry I can’t come to the house to see you.”

“Oh, honey.” I heard her sigh. “I did blame myself the day you disappeared. If I’d been more vigilant, or talked to you on your way home…”

“No, and I’m glad you and the kids weren’t there when it happened.”

“I had been. Junie forgot a toy at Delphine’s house. She’d been over there playing with Jae, and you know how she gets about her favorite things. I wasn’t gone for very long, and I knew I shouldn’t have wheeled my way over there with the children, but…”

I understood. “Junie was crying and you felt like you might lose your mind before anyone else got home to help?”

“Exactly. Your dad read me the riot act once he got home. And I’ve felt like complete crap about everything.”

“No, Mom. If you’d been there, then you and the kids would have been in danger. In fact, they may have taken Junie, Judd, and Marnie instead of me. You know they wouldn’t have survived.” I swallowed hard. “I was strong enough to handle it, or so I thought. If I had to make the choice again, I’d still sacrifice myself for them.”

Prophet reached out to squeeze my hand.

“I love you, Ares. You know that, right?” Dessa asked.

“I know, Mom. Love you too. I need to go, but I hope you can come to our house to visit.”

We didn’t make definite plans, but I still felt better after speaking to her for a moment. I hung up the call and headed into the bathroom. I partially closed the door and quickly stripped out of my clothes. Easing down into the tub, I leaned back and closed my eyes. It would have been nice if it could have been hotter, but this was better than nothing. If only the water temperature were all I had to worry about… When would I feel normal again?

* * *

Prophet

I hung my head and stared at the floor. She’d been doing so well before we’d returned home. I worried this wasn’t something we could easily fix. While I wouldn’t go so far as to say that she’d been as happy as she’d been at the beach, she hadn’t freaked out until she got to Savior’s house today.

It made me wonder if there was something we could do specifically for his house or that area of the compound that could help Ares. If not, did I need to consider the fact we might need to move? Living outside the compound wouldn’t be safe. Too many chances something would go wrong and she’d be put in danger again. I’d been a Dixie Reaper for so long it was a part of who I was.

If it did come down to it, I didn’t think Savior or the other officers would make a fuss over me leaving. I could always declare myself a Nomad if I didn’t want to leave the club entirely. Or I’d have to consider possibly moving out of this area and patching into another club.

I glanced at the bathroom door and knew I’d do whatever Ares needed me to. If that meant we left this place, then that’s exactly what would happen. I knew this had to be hard on her. She’d smiled more, laughed, and even been playful toward the end of our stay in Gulf Shores. Now it almost felt like we were back to the beginning in her healing process. Would it have been better to come here after I got her out of that hellhole? Had I only messed up by taking her somewhere else? I’d done what I thought was best, and she hadn’t seemed ready to go home.

“Ares, you all right in there?” I called out, thinking it was a little too quiet. She didn’t answer and my stomach knotted. “Ares?”

Still nothing. I got up and went to check on her, only to see she’d fallen asleep in the tub. Thankfully, she hadn’t slipped beneath the water and drowned. It looked like I’d have to keep a better eye on her for now. I drained the water, grabbed a towel, and lifted her from the tub. There was no way to dry her without laying her on the bed, so I’d change the sheets later. Good thing I’d started using a waterproof mattress pad after I’d spilled one too many beers while watching TV in bed.

All right. So, maybe I hadn’t only been watching TV those times. I’d been in love with an underage young woman. My hand was the only way I was going to get any relief, or I’d have walked around with blue balls.

I managed to pull her nightgown over her head and decided not to worry about panties. Tugging the sheet over her, I kissed her brow and left her to get some rest. The visit to her dad’s house must have been too stressful for her body to handle.

“Love you, Ares,” I whispered before I shut the bedroom door.

I went into the kitchen and wrote a note letting her know I would be at the clubhouse in case she woke up before I returned. Leaving it in the center of the table, I went out to my bike and decided to see if Savior was in his office. It looked like we needed to have a more in-depth conversation about his daughter, before things got any worse.