10

M areleau had enjoyed one night of bliss, one night of passion, one night to experience the pleasure of being fully and completely loved. It had been beyond anything she’d imagined, anything she’d ever had a right to hope for. Now she stood to lose everything.

Well, perhaps not everything. Larylis was her husband and nothing could change that. But if he didn’t show up for his own coronation, she wouldn’t be crowned either.

She paced the length of the hall outside the Godskeep at Dermaine Palace, grateful that the only witnesses to her panic were a handful of guards and her three lady’s maids. Breah trailed after her, keeping the long train of Mareleau’s white silk dress from touching the ground. Whenever Mareleau would pause, Ann and Sera would rush to her, dabbing her face with powder, patting her hair, or straightening her red velvet cape.

Seven devils, where was he?

Sounds of chatter slipped beneath the Godskeep door. The room was full and the audience had already been waiting for fifteen minutes. If Larylis didn’t show up soon, the courtiers, nobles, and guests would have more to gossip about than Teryn’s unexpected abdication and Larylis’ equally unexpected marriage to his brother’s former fiancée.

She reached for her hair, seeking a lock to braid, but found her tresses out of reach. Her maids had done her hair in an elaborate updo specifically suited for the crown she’d be given. If Larylis showed up.

She’d seen less of him than she’d wished over the last few days. The morning after their union, they’d hastened to leave for Dermaine. Everything that followed had been rushed activity and travel. They’d slept separately at night, traveled separately by day. They’d exchanged only a few stolen glances and too-short embraces. Even the one night they’d spent together after arriving at the palace had been brief, with Larylis being called into a meeting with his council until well after Mareleau had fallen asleep. Still, their sparse interactions had been enough to show her the melancholy he’d returned to.

What if he’d changed his mind about becoming king? She imagined what that would mean for them. If they weren’t king and queen, if her marriage to Larylis lost what little credibility her father was willing to see in it, if she was disinherited…

For one moment, she felt the strangest twinge of relief. If they were no longer beholden to their parents’ thrones, they’d be…free. They could run away together, live a simple life?—

She shook the thought from her head. Wherever Larylis was, he hadn’t chosen to bring her along. Besides, she may have enjoyed the occasional fantasy about living the simple life, but she knew as well as anyone that she was not a simple woman. She enjoyed her luxuries. Already, the walls of Dermaine Palace felt too close compared to the wide halls of Verlot. The lights too sparse, too dim. The floors too plain. Her footsteps too loud. Her pulse too fast.

She paused her pacing and steadied her breaths. Sera came to powder her forehead, but Mareleau slapped her hand away. “I’m fine.” The girl took a step back and exchanged a glance with Ann.

“He’ll be here,” Breah said, tone calm. Mareleau wanted to believe her, but Breah didn’t know a damn thing.

The Godskeep door opened, sending Mareleau’s heart leaping into her throat. Hope bloomed in her chest but she crushed it even before the figure emerged from the other side. It couldn’t be Larylis, for he was supposed to be entering the Godskeep, not emerging from within it. If he were already inside, she wouldn’t be an anxious mess.

Teryn stepped into the hall and closed the door quickly behind him. “He still hasn’t shown?”

“No.” Mareleau put her hands on her hips. “Do you know where he might be?”

Teryn’s eyes unfocused. “I think I have an idea.”

Larylis never imagined he’d find solace amongst the dead, but the crypts beneath the Godskeep were oddly soothing. It was the quiet that comforted him, something he used to only find in libraries. But with Dermaine Palace so busy in the wake of his and Teryn’s return, his favored haunts were devoid of their usual silence.

He placed his hands on the cool stone of his father’s sarcophagus. The sides bore an intricately carved relief of seven faces to represent the seven gods. The top was carved with Menah’s eagle sigil. Arlous’ effigy was still being carved, but soon it would grace the sarcophagus as well. Footsteps echoed from the entrance to the crypts, telling Larylis his respite was at an end. Teryn came up beside him.

“I figured you were down here,” his brother said without a hint of reproach. Instead, Teryn’s voice sounded as tired as Larylis felt. It was an exhaustion that no amount of sleep seemed to dissolve.

They stood in silence for several moments before Larylis found his voice. “We laid his body to rest this morning, and by afternoon I’m expected to take his crown.”

“I know.”

Larylis realized this was the first time they’d been alone since the meeting in Verdian’s study. Before Teryn gave up everything and laid it at Larylis’ feet. Slowly, he turned to face his brother. “I’m sorry, Teryn.”

Teryn released an exasperated sigh. “What are you apologizing for?”

“You know what I’m apologizing for. I’ve taken everything from you.”

“You’ve taken nothing that I did not freely give. And it’s nothing you don’t deserve.” His voice held an edge that wasn’t lost on Larylis.

He certainly did deserve it. Deserved whatever scorn his brother held.

Teryn’s expression softened. “I’m not mad at you.”

“I can’t imagine how you could feel anything but hate for me.”

“I could never hate you. You’re my brother.” He turned to face their father’s sarcophagus. “It’s myself I’m angry with. I should have known how you felt about Mareleau. I should have seen it, even when you told me you didn’t love her.”

Larylis’ stomach turned. “No, I should have been honest. It’s just…it was complicated. I didn’t think I loved her anymore, nor she me. I didn’t think we could ever be together, didn’t think I’d ever be worthy of her. And it was your duty?—”

“My duty can go to the seven devils,” Teryn said with a dark chuckle. “I’ve made more mistakes in the name of duty than I care to admit.” He turned to face Larylis with a pointed look. “It’s your duty now. One you’re rather tardy for.”

Larylis’ fingers curled into fists. “How can I wear his crown after what I’ve done?”

“I meant what I said before. You made an impossible choice.”

“What if I’d surrendered? He could still be alive?—”

“We don’t know that,” Teryn said, tone sharp. “We will never know what might have been. If you’re worried about being worthy of Father’s crown, then be worthy. Stop asking if you are. Just be the king he’d want you to be.”

Guilt and shame twisted in his heart. Teryn was right. “I’ve done a terrible job of accepting my punishment, haven’t I?”

Teryn’s eyes turned down at the corners. “I didn’t mean it when I said you should take the crown as your punishment. I only said that because I needed you to accept. Because I knew your capacity for self-hatred was greater than your willingness to be happy. But that’s not what Father would have wanted.”

Larylis opened his mouth to argue but couldn’t find the words.

“I’ve seen what you’re doing, Larylis. You’ve been distant with your wife. You’re refusing to let yourself enjoy one of the best things life has to offer. Carry Father’s crown like a burden if that is your wish, but…don’t shun love.”

“Weren’t you the one who always said love is for the weak? That duty is greater when you’re a royal?”

“I told you how I feel about duty. Besides, you’re lucky. Your wife is both your love and your duty. Don’t push her away. And don’t you dare say you don’t deserve her. She deserves you . A woman who’s willing to fight for your sorry ass deserves better than a cold bedfellow.”

Larylis’ cheeks flushed. His and Mareleau’s one night together in bed had been anything but cold. Yet Teryn was right. He’d gone to great lengths to distance himself from his wife ever since. The warmth of his love, the depth of his joy at being near her…it terrified him. He was so afraid to give in, to revel in the love he’d been given, to take pleasure in anything that had come from either his treachery or hers. What exactly he was afraid of, he wasn’t sure.

He met Teryn’s eyes. “You’ve changed…since before…”

“Since before I betrayed someone I cared for and got myself captured by a blood mage? I know.”

“The person you care for…that’s Cora, isn’t it?”

Teryn’s throat bobbed. He gave a curt nod.

“She’s the reason you’ve been acting like a maniac, isn’t she?”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t think you’re the only one who’s noticed odd behaviors, brother. I’ve seen what you’re doing too. You’re constantly in motion, constantly fixing things you don’t need to fix.”

“I just want to be useful.”

Larylis leveled a look at his brother. “You helped fix a wagon wheel on the road. We pay people to do that, yet you aided repairs with your own hands. When we arrived home, you organized the study. You cleaned Father’s desk. You alphabetized correspondences by sender, then rearranged them by date received instead.”

Teryn shifted from foot to foot. “I’m supposed to be helping you.”

“But you’d rather be somewhere else.”

A flush crept up Teryn’s cheeks. His voice was low when he spoke. “I need to talk with Cora about our…potential engagement. I don’t want her to find out in a letter, nor do I want it arranged before she’s had a chance to say yes. And if she says no, then we need to find another way to formalize an alliance with Khero.” He said the last part in a rush.

Larylis recognized something in his brother. Something he’d never seen in Teryn, only in himself. He wasn’t sure if Teryn knew just yet, but his concern over Cora was more than politics. More than alliance. More than friendship. A flash of treacherous joy crept into his heart, but for once he didn’t try to tamp it down. Surely he could stand to be happy for someone else, couldn’t he?

“You should go to her,” Larylis said.

“I will. Perhaps in a few months after you’re settled?—”

“No, you should go to her now. Leave in the morning with Lord Ulrich.”

Teryn blinked a few times, shifting from foot to foot again. “I can’t go now. You need me. There’s so much I haven’t told you about running our kingdom, so much I’ve yet to pass on. Moreover, Lord Ulrich would never allow me to come. Verdian is determined to punish us, and I doubt Ulrich would act against his brother’s wishes.”

Larylis’ heart sank. Teryn was right. Verdian wanted his daughter punished by sending her to Ridine. He wanted Larylis punished by keeping him from his wife. And Teryn…did Verdian realize keeping him from Cora was punishment too? Larylis wasn’t even sure Teryn realized as much. Whatever the case, he didn’t think he was ready to face Verdian’s wrath. Larylis may soon be king, but Verdian was his father-in-law. He’d witnessed both the power and rage such a familial tie could bring when Queen Bethaeny’s father threatened war when Arlous tried to divorce her. But still…Larylis’ crown had to be good for something.

“Then wait a few days and leave on your own. You are the least beholden to Verdian. And is it not essential we secure an alliance with Khero? If you’re determined to do it in person, then I say it’s a pressing matter.”

Teryn’s expression brightened, his lips quirking into the ghost of a grin. “You really think so?”

Larylis straightened, shoulders squared. “As your king, I command it.” It felt like a mockery to refer to himself as king, but he supposed he should start getting used to it.

“Very well,” Teryn said, “but if I am to listen to a damn word you say, you better get to the Godskeep before Mareleau wears a hole straight through the floor with her pacing.”

Larylis forced a smile. “Deal.”

Together, they left the crypts and ascended the stairs to the hall outside the Godskeep. There he found his wife, a vision in white silk, her shoulders adorned in a velvet cape. A queen’s cape. Just as Teryn had said, she was pacing frantically across the floor. She paused when she caught sight of him. His heart lurched in his chest as their eyes met. Her gaze held a question steeped in worry, laced with trepidation.

He knew then how much his distance these last few days had hurt her. Knew how selfish he’d been in clinging to his pain. He wasn’t ready to let go of it completely, but he could push it aside, just enough so she could fit beside it.

His valet approached him with the royal cape—red with sable trim to match Mareleau’s—while a servant darted forth with a brush for his coat, frowning at the thin layer of dust Larylis had accumulated from the crypts. Larylis stepped past both of them, heading straight for Mareleau instead. He didn’t stop until she was against him, until both his hands had framed her face, and her soft lips were pressed to his. She met his kiss first with tense surprise, then with yielding. He felt her smile against his mouth, felt her grip tighten around his waist. With every tender brush of his lips, he conveyed his apology, his love, his promise.

I’ll never push you away , he thought. I’ll make today count. And when it’s time to go to Ridine for the signing of the peace pact, I’ll be ready to bring you home.

His valet cleared his throat while Mareleau’s ladies giggled. He reluctantly pulled away from the woman he loved. She smiled at him and he let himself grin right back.

This . He’d let himself enjoy this. He may not deserve it, but damn it, Teryn was right. She did. His fierce, beautiful, devious wife deserved his love.

They faced the closed doors and let their servants clean them up once more. Then they entered the Godskeep hand in hand and claimed their burdensome crowns together.

Table of Contents