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8

D inner had been over for two hours, and still Teryn waited. He stood in the courtyard just beyond the doors that led from the palace to the garden, ensuring he wouldn’t miss anyone who entered. No matter how many times footsteps resounded on the stone steps, not a single pair belonged to her .

His heart had sunk with the sun, and now that night had fully fallen, he wasn’t sure he dared hope any longer. He glanced away from the palace doors to the windows of the upper levels. Music streamed from the open balcony of the ballroom, where a celebratory dance was being held. The newlyweds had already been escorted to their wedding chamber, but it seemed the festivities being held in their honor were ongoing. Teryn scanned other balconies, most of them dark, seeking Cora’s room. He knew he could go to her, but there was a reason he’d asked her to see him in the garden tonight. Yet the longer he stayed out here, the more pathetic he found his reason to be.

He released a heavy breath. “Was it really so foolish of an idea to think I could romance her?”

The only answer he received was a sharp peck on his cheek. With a grin, he glanced at Berol, his peregrine falcon. She was perched upon the leather pad he wore over one shoulder, strapped across his dinner jacket. He dared not go outside without it, for Berol refused to let him out of her sight when he was outdoors lately. The falcon had found him the day he’d arrived at Verlot Palace after leaving Centerpointe Rock. Teryn’s relief at seeing her both alive and having forgiven him for yelling at her to go away during the battle had nearly been enough to bring tears to his eyes. He’d been willing to upset her at Centerpointe Rock if it meant keeping her safe, but her short absence had been almost as painful to endure as his physical wounds.

He gave her neck some scritches, which she returned in the form of more nibbles to his cheek.

The sound of a door opening caught his attention, followed by the swoosh of skirts and the patter of feet. Hope bloomed in Teryn’s chest as he angled himself toward whoever had come?—

His shoulders slumped as he found his mother strolling into the garden. He should have recognized the cadence of her steps. Dread replaced his hope, for it was clear she’d come to talk. He owed her an explanation for what had happened today, for how he’d claimed she’d support Larylis’ rule. However, he’d hoped he’d have more time to prepare for it.

Her lips were pursed as she walked up to him. Berol launched off his shoulder as if she dreaded the scolding as much as Teryn did. What Teryn wouldn’t give to sprout wings and fly away too.

“Mother,” he said with a nod.

Her eyes blazed with fury as she spoke. “Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you. In a single sentence, you’ve done away with all of it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, filling his voice with the full weight of his apology. He didn’t regret abdicating, but he was agonized over how much it must have hurt his mother.

“What is your apology worth now? They’ve won. They got what they wanted all along.”

Teryn frowned. “Who won?”

“Lady Annabel and your father,” she said through her teeth. “Why do you think I sent Larylis away all those years ago? My ladies heard Annabel bragging that her son would one day be king. Her ambition had become dangerous, so I fought hard against it. I fought with everything I had to protect you. To protect your crown.”

“I never asked you to protect my crown,” he said as gently as he could.

“I’m your mother. My protection comes with or without your request or permission. Now that you’ve turned your crown over to Larylis, everything I fought for has been for naught.” She let out a humorless chuckle. “With Arlous’ death, we’d won. You and me. Even with Larylis named prince, we’d still won.”

Teryn shook his head. “I’m tired of war, Mother. The battle of crowns was never one I wanted to fight. I never wanted to be pitted against my brother. I never wanted to be torn between you and Father.”

She huffed. “Are you saying I was wrong to fight for my crown? I was defending my right and yours.”

“I could never deny you that right, nor could I have condoned what Father did when he tried to replace you. You’re my mother. I love you. But…I loved Father too. And Larylis.”

“Your love won’t make him a good king.”

“I believe in him.”

“What about me? Have you no sympathy for what this means for me? With Larylis as king, Lady Annabel will have the run of Dermaine Palace. She’ll be Queen Mother Annabel. I’ll be relegated once more to my little palace, never again welcome in the place that once was my home.” Her voice broke on the last part.

Teryn’s heart sank. He gathered his mother’s hand in his. “You will be welcome.”

She turned up her nose. “Larylis could ensure I’m not.”

“He’s better than that. He’s better than Annabel, and you know it.”

She turned her head but made no argument.

“He and I will both take care of you.” He hesitated before saying the next part. “There was once a time when you took care of him. Until you banished him from Dermaine, you were far more of a mother to him than Annabel was. He hasn’t forgotten the kindness you once showed him.”

Her shoulders drooped. She met Teryn’s eyes briefly before shaking her head. “I couldn’t let myself love him. It was too dangerous. He won’t forgive me for banishing him.”

“He will. It’s himself he’ll struggle to forgive. Besides, Larylis and I have seen true danger. We met it on a battlefield. We fought wraiths, a monster, and a blood mage. This…this is just politics.”

“You’re really willing to let go of your birthright so easily?”

“I won’t say it’s easy, but I believe it’s the right thing to do. If you trusted me to be king, then I ask you to trust me with this too.”

Silence fell between them. Finally, she squeezed his hand. “I can’t say my heart isn’t broken, but I…I’ll support your brother’s claim to the throne in name only. Do not ask me to do anything more on his behalf.”

“That’s fair,” he said, trying not to sound too shocked that he’d won her agreement.

She released his hand and made to leave. Just as she turned away, she whirled right back around. “Who are you waiting for?”

“How do you know I’m waiting for anyone?”

“You’ve been out here for two hours, my son. It’s the longest I’ve seen you stay in one place in weeks. So tell me. Who is it?”

He couldn’t help the flush that heated his cheeks as he spoke her name. “Princess Aveline.”

His mother’s eyes flickered with a sympathy that seemed suspiciously feigned. “Did no one tell you? She already left.”

Teryn’s muscles went rigid. “When? Why didn’t I hear about it?”

She gave a flippant shrug. “One of my ladies told me the princess left while everyone was at dinner. Rumor has it, she didn’t want to take away from such a special occasion with her hasty exit.”

He rubbed his temples as if it could grind away his disappointment too.

“My suspicions were correct,” Bethaeny said, an edge to her tone. “You have feelings for the princess. You intended to wed her when you proposed the marriage alliance.”

He gave her a pointed look. “Yes, and you shouldn’t have intervened.”

“Like I said, Teryn. I am your mother. My protection does not need permission. I was worried you were about to make a hasty decision and destroy your engagement to Mareleau. That was before I knew the girl was a scheming harlot, of course.”

“I fear your protection has made things far more difficult,” he said, trying his best to keep his voice level.

“Tell me this, son. Is Cora , as I’ve heard you call her, worth giving up your crown for?”

“I didn’t do it for her.” His words were true. He’d done it for Larylis too. He nearly left it at that but there was a deeper truth yet to be said. “But yes. She’s worth it.”

“Do you love her?”

His heart hammered at the question. Heat crawled up his neck, his cheeks. He was grateful that night had fallen to hide the blush that had certainly taken over every inch of his skin. “One step at a time,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant. “First, I need to make sure she doesn’t try to shoot me in the heart with an arrow when she sees me next. Which…I don’t know when that will be.”

“Promise me you will not go after her,” she said with a stern raise of her brow. “Promise me you will be there for your brother. You owe it to him and your kingdom.”

He hated that she was right; Larylis needed him. His brother had a heavy responsibility he’d never expected to take on. And yet, Teryn couldn’t find it in his heart to make the promise his mother asked for. He’d long since learned not to utter promises he knew he wouldn’t keep. “I’ll do what is needed of me.”

She narrowed her eyes but made no argument. Seeming satisfied with his answer, she left him alone. Berol flew back to his shoulder. He fed her a strip of duck he’d taken from dinner, but in his mother’s absence, the uncomfortable itch to move returned. He’d managed to keep it at bay while he’d been waiting for Cora, but now that he knew he wouldn’t get to see her tonight, he was back to feeling unsettled. Stuck.

With a heavy sigh, he turned from the palace doors and headed deeper into the garden, past the candlelit alcove where a single table stood, upon which sat a bottle of wine and a pair of glasses. He couldn’t bring himself to look at it. Cora probably would have hated it anyway. He walked past the harpist and shook his head. With a nod, the musician rose from her seat at the edge of the fountain and departed. Cora would have hated that too. They’d danced to a harpist once, but…what had he been thinking? She’d hated him then. She probably hated him still.

And yet…

For one moment, I thought she meant you .

Damn it all, it was him. It had always been him. He couldn’t tell her now, and maybe he couldn’t tell her any time soon. But he would. Eventually…he would.

Deeper and deeper, he walked into the garden, Berol his lone companion, determined to walk until he was tired enough to sleep and forget the hollow ache in his heart.