Page 23

23

MERCY

F lying down the road, pushing my bike to its limits as I swerve in and out of traffic, I make my way out of town. I have no real idea where I’m going or what I’m doing. I need fucking space to breathe outside of the watchful eyes of my brothers. I’m so lost in my own thoughts I don’t clock that I have a tail until I finally get out of town. Pulling off the road, I kick my kickstand down and walk out to the edge of the marsh, staring out into the open water.

The rumbling bike of my pursuer cuts off. “Damn it, man, I thought you were actually going to punch your ticket back there.”

“So little fucking faith,” I sneer, continuing to look out over the marsh, “Even if I punched my ticket, I’d be back. Lucifer is still pissed about the near hostile takeover from the last time I was there.”

Terro chuckles under his breath. “You truly are an asshole.”

“If you followed me to state the obvious, then I really don’t need you here. So, fuck right the fuck off,” I snap, really needing time and space to deal with the shit spinning around in my soul.

“Well, it seems I’m in luck because I followed you out here to make sure you don’t end up in prison doing life for assault or murder,” Terro grumbles, just as I hear a lighter being lit.

“Pass me one.” I hold a hand out for a smoke. Terro passes over the pack and lighter without a word.

I open the cigarettes, using my teeth to pull one free of the pack. I hand the pack back to Terro before cupping my hand around the cigarette and striking the lighter. When it is lit, I take a long, deep pull into my lungs. Dropping my head back, I blow the smoke free of my lungs, allowing some of the stress and anger to release with it.

“This entire situation is fucked,” I bark.

Terro laughs on a huff. “You’re not wrong. I thought I had seen it all. Leave it to you to bring in the biggest surprise of the damn century.”

“How the hell did this happen?” I ask, not expecting an answer.

“That’s the goddamn question, isn’t it? How does shit go so far sideways that the woman you’ve been hunting for the last five years ends up in our clubhouse? To add insult to injury, you’ve fallen for her.” I hear Terro pacing behind me.

My head snaps around to sneer at the man. “What are you going on about?”

Terro cocks an eyebrow as if calling me a dumbass. That look is all it takes, and I snap. I reach behind me with my free hand and pull my throwing knife, launching it at my brother. The throw is true and would have hit true on anyone else. Terro shifts just in time for the blade to graze his cheek. The blade gets lost in the marsh as I stalk toward the man, ready to bleed out some of my aggression.

Terro’s hand snaps up and in it is his favorite pistol pointed between my eyes.

“You pulled it. Are you really ready to do something with it?” I step up so the barrel is a hair’s breadth from my head.

“I’m more prepared than you could fucking imagine. One more step or dumbass move, and we both know that I will, in fact, put a bullet in this hollow skull of yours.” Terro's voice is low and the grin on his face hints at the darkness he keeps a hold on.

“At this rate, it’s probably for the best, seeing as I can’t do my motherfucking job.” I’m finally honest with him and myself.

“Mercy, have you finally lost your mind?” Terro questions, dropping the hand with his gun in it by his side, but not holstering it.

“No, I see it all clearly. Not only our own fucking Pres played me, but who knows who else. Then I let a pair of sad, scared eyes dig her claws into me to the point I couldn’t see past her.” I’m now the one pacing back-and-forth on the rocky bank.

Terro sighs, turning to look out over the marsh. Looking much like I did not too long ago. “The situation with Pres is on speculation. Don’t go borrowing fucking trouble. Can I ask you a question?”

I continue my pacing, waving a hand for him to ask the damn question.

“What is so bad about feeling something for someone?” Terro’s word stops me in my tracks.

I turn to face him, tilting my head to the side, trying to understand the question he just asked me.

“Feelings? I don’t have feeling for anyone. Fuck, Terro, there are only three things I can tell you about feelings. They are anger, respect and protect.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me. Mercy, you care for this woman—” Terro starts.

I cut him off once again, getting in his face. “I don’t know how to care for someone. Don’t you get it? I’ve only ever protected my family, and then my brothers. I’m ready to fight or kill, if that’s what is called of me. This falls back to protection of those I deem to need it.” I fist my hair in my hands. “That leaves respect. And there are a total of about three fucking people in the world that fit in that category.”

“If that’s truly what you think, then tell me something. Why couldn’t you kill her today?” Terro asks the question that I didn’t want to ask myself.

“Now you’re making my point. What good am I if I can’t do my motherfucking job and protect my brothers and those I respect? She is a fucking threat to us all. For all we goddamn know, she is the one helping the other club and whoever is running the sex ring. This bitch literally lied about who she was for the last five damn years. Why do that if she had nothing to do with it?” The longer I talk, the angrier I get at the thought she could have something to do with all of this.

Her eyes filled with fire and pleasure play in my mind. I flash every moment she looked completely terrified of one of us. Is she really so good of an actress that I would fall for the innocent little lamb act, or am I letting the past of my whore-mother cloud my mind? Is this need to protect her and the inability to kill her imply she means something to me?

“Listen, I know you’re fucked up in the head. I also know that if you were to see a professional that she would say you are a psychopath with some sociopathic tendencies. Meaning, I don’t know if you will ever truly feel more than a need to protect or being obsessed with Ainsley. You have to face the fact you feel something for her.” Terro smirks when he sees that his words take root.

I think about his words, playing them over and over in my head. My inability to take her out, my need and want to get back to the clubhouse to see her and to make sure she was safe …

“I see that you’re considering it. I want you to think about this …” Terro backs away from me toward his bike. “Let’s say that someone tries to hurt and or kill Ainsley? What would that look like?”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, the monster roars to life and I lunge at the man. The mere thought of someone hurting my little lamb makes my need to kill come alive too fast—all I see is red. This feeling coursing through my veins is like a fire I’ve never felt before. Even the loss of Jenny didn’t cause the monster to come alive like this. Terro dances out of the way as I lunge for him once again. And once again, he dances out of my reach.

“Why are you lunging at me? I’m not the one who left his woman in a location we all know has at least one trader in it— unprotected .” Terro shouts, still dancing out of my reach.

I stop mid-lunge as his words sink in deep. “Motherfucker!”

I spin around, making a beeline for my bike. I left my little lamb to the wolves. If something happens to her, I will kill everyone in that clubhouse and not lose any sleep over it. I jump on my bike, firing it up and tearing off onto the road, spraying gravel behind me. Terro stays tight on my rear tire as we race back across town.